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The Wifely Duties

mysterygal said:
I don't believe in the 50/50 relationship at all. It's 100% on both parts...otherwise you can easily slip into a mentality of only doing so much and waiting until your spouse catches up to what you deam as fair

Hahahha! That is sort of what I meant. Sometimes one does more than the other and sometimes one does less. If your spouse needs help catching up then you end up doing more to help. If I help does that mean I am doing 110%? :p That is why I used the unequal numbers instead of 100% each. ;)

Regards,

J
 

mysterygal

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,667
Location
Washington
I always try to keep in mind to do my best for the relationship, and not worry too much about what the other person is or isn't doing...although, there are some pretty sneaky tricks that get your guy jumping through hoops to please you though ;)
 

Lady Day

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
9,087
Location
Crummy town, USA
AtomicBlonde said:
Personally, I dont think it is possible to balance a career and raise children.


As a liberal thinker, I completely agree with this statement. :) But I also have to add some things.

I think that if you choose a family, then they take prority. Yet some women are unable to work their careers, and have to settle for jobs to support their children. There is a BIG difference.

For me, I want a career more than a family right now. I dont think its being selfish, or unreasonable, but honest. If I choose to have children (I think Id prefer adoption), then my life would be for them. Id hate it (not the children, but the fact that is the real choice that has to be made) but so be it.

Im also the type of person who does not think children are the only source of the future. If we want a good future we have to teach the people who are already here so they can give that knowledge to the children who are to come. Im a huge advocate on adult education.

LD
 

Section10

One of the Regulars
Working mothers are a sad fact of the way we live in this society. My wife has been a day care worker for several years. She is a 'teacher' for kids 2 1/2 to 5 years. She has around 10 'students' and is supposed to teach them some kind of 'lesson or activity' every day. She is a glorified baby sitter. When kids act up all she can do is a 'time out' (whatever that is). The kids who misbehave get all the attention and the pleasant kids get ignored because they are well behaved and do not require the attention that the rowdy kids demand. Social interaction usually means the bigger kids pick on the smaller ones. She works very hard at home preparing lessons and activities plus she has to do all the paperwork, reports, letters and announcements to parents, etc. Usually at least 3 hours every evening including weekends for no pay. At work she gets $7.50/hour. She starts work at 6:AM and is done by noon. Some kids are in the day care for 11 hours or more. They come still asleep in their pajamas and she has to wake them up, dress them and give them breakfast. It's a challenge. Helluv a way to raise kids if you ask me.
 

RetroModelSari

Practically Family
Messages
863
Location
Duesseldorf/Germany
Well for my part: I´d love to be a stay-home Mom.

When I was a child my mother had to go to work instead of staying home with me to make a living for her and me and I sort of felt lonely at times.

So if possible I´d love to stay home - at least for the first years of my child and than start a half-time job or a home-business when my child is in school. I want to go and spend nice days with my children like going to the zoo and the park to play and helping them with the homework as my mother rarely had the time to do. I want to see them growing up and protect them from harm and teach them the important things in life as long as possible.
 

Honey Doll

Practically Family
Messages
523
Location
Rochester, NY
BettyValentine said:
The Fedora Lounge is awesome because I get wonderful exposure to viewpoints that I almost never see or hear about in my normal haunts (online or RL). For example, before today I had never, ever, ever met anyone who did not hate Caitlin Flanagan with the burning fury of a thousand suns.

I like to think that I am more poised than my friend who literally spat on the ground like my Italian grandmother whenever she said Ms. Flanagan's name, but my loathing of that woman's writing is no less than hers. I just don't approve of spitting in public.

I have great respect for housewives who want to be housewives. I have no respect at all for women of any stripe who want to force everyone in the world into whichever mold they happen to prefer. As for Ms. Flanagan... well, it is natural to feel that one's own choices are the superior choices, but such superiority complexes are unseemly and should be kept to the privacy of one's diary. Soapboxes are undignified, especially soapboxes that disparage other people and their chosen lifestyles.

BV

Amen sister!

Honey Doll
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,768
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
I've read quite a bit of Caitlin Flanagan -- she's a regular contributor to the Atlantic Monthly, to which I'm a subscriber, and what bugs me about her isn't so much the views she expresses -- some of which I even agree with -- as it is the position of privilege from which she expresses them. An upper-class woman earning six figures annually from books and articles should perhaps be a bit more restrained in offering advice to families who are struggling to pay their rent and keep their kids in food and clothes.
 

Lena_Horne

One of the Regulars
Messages
249
Location
The Arsenal of Democracy
LizzieMaine said:
I've read quite a bit of Caitlin Flanagan -- she's a regular contributor to the Atlantic Monthly, to which I'm a subscriber, and what bugs me about her isn't so much the views she expresses -- some of which I even agree with -- as it is the position of privilege from which she expresses them. An upper-class woman earning six figures annually from books and articles should perhaps be a bit more restrained in offering advice to families who are struggling to pay their rent and keep their kids in food and clothes.

I wholly agree with you.:eusa_clap

L_H
 

humblestumble

One of the Regulars
Messages
209
Location
South Texas
I saw that show! And I liked what the woman had to say as well. I actually like the thought of being a housewife to have dinner ready and the house clean, though I would HAVE To join a club or something to have a social life. It doesn't feel demeaning to me to do such a thing, but I do agree...it's hard in this day and age to have just one parent or spouse working to make ends meet.
 

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