LizzieMaine
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("Oh, no no no," mutters Uncle Frank, scanning the front page. "This maaan Dewey woon't do at aaahl. D'ye know whoot he is, Nora? He's a pooblicity hoond. Aaaaahlways with his naaame in th' papaar. Remember when that poor sucker Roosen got hit by Lepke's bunch? Oi blame Dewey farrr that as mooch as anyone, recruitin' an haaanest man t'be his stoolie, joost so he c'n show th' waaarld he's a crooosadar. No, indeed, Oi wouldn't waaant him farr me president. He'd praaaahbly troi t'hire Moolotov t'be his stoolie farrr Staaaalin!" "Mmm?" mmms Ma, immersed in her own thoughts. "Oh, indeed, Francis, indeed." "Ye ain't payin' a word of attention," concludes Uncle Frank sympathetically. "So what IS on ye moind?" "Oi don't know hoo she's goin' t'do it," sighs Ma. "It's been haaard enoof waarkin' in that fact'ry with ONE choild, she surely caaaan't do it with two. Of coorse she'll have to quit, an' ye remember what it was loike when she quit waaark th' laaast time with Leonora." "Joseph told me," chuckles Uncle Frank, "that it got so they had a staaaandin' ordarr for radios at Davega." "Some woomen," sighs Ma, "take roit to mootherin'. An' f'r oothars, it's a stroogle. Now, Oi'm noaaht sayin' Sally's a POOR moothar, boot it ain't like it was when Oi was raisin' harr. Oi was HOOM alla toime." "That you was," acknowledges Uncle Frank. "Cooont'in ye nickles roit at home." "An' Oi kept a cloooose cloooose oye ahhn Sally. That garrrl didn't make a move Oi didn't knoow abooot." "Oh, now," chuckles Uncle Frank, "Oi wouldn't say that. What abooot that toime she snuck into th' City that noit when she was sixteen? Went t' see that croonar there, at that noitclub. 'Villa Vallee.' Told th' man at th' door she was twenty-woon!' "That was WOON TOIME." "That's naaht what Mickey tol' me," counters Uncle Frank. "He said she'd do that ahhl th' toime. Ahhhhhl thim noits she said she was stayin' oot late doin' homewaaark with Mildred McCullough? She nevarr done no homewaaark with Mildred McCullough, she was gooin' into th' city t' lissten t' Rudy Vallee!" Ma glares accusingly at Uncle Frank. "Annnnnd OI suppose," she scowls, "ye knew aaahl aboot it an' ENCOURAGED 'arr." "Oi did NOT," snaps Uncle Frank. "Oi would nevaaaar encourage ANYONE t' go intaaar th' city t'lissen t' Rudy Vallee!" "Well," exhales Ma. "Ahhhl roit then." "Sarrrrtainly naaaht!" repeats Uncle Frank. "Gene Aaaaaaaustin's mooch th' bettar crooner!"
Brooklyn has already beaten its quota in the Greater New York Fund Campaign, according to figures released today by city-wide chairman J. Stewart Baker. Brooklyn's current contributions of $521,840.48 have exceeded the $500,000 borough quota by 4 per cent, with Brooklyn the only one of the five boroughs to have already passed its goal. Local organizers expect the final total for Brooklyn in the city-wide drive to exceed $600,000 by the time the campaign concludes late today.
A group of fifteen prominent Negro leaders have petitioned President Roosevelt to declare himself in favor of an expanded budget for the Fair Employment Practices Committee. A telegram to the White House signed by high officials of the YMCA, the Urban League and other organizations declares that the FEPC is "essential to the war effort" as "the symbol around which 14,000,000 Negroes have rallied to make their contribution to the war.
Conflict erupted today when the City Council passed a resolution calling on Mayor LaGuardia and Fire Commissioner Patrick J. Walsh to return six "exiled" firemen to their previous stations, charging that the transfers of the six to stations "far from their homes" was an act of political retaliation against the men for making public comments critical of the LaGuardia administration. Brooklyn Democratic Councilman Joseph T. Sharkey successfully moved to amend the original resolution submitted by Councilman Michael J. Quill to specifically mention the Mayor's name. During the hour's discussion preceding the vote on the Quill resolution, the administration's actions were condemned as "fascist" and "a shocking example of government tyranny," before the resolution passed on a 14-2 vote. The two dissenting votes came from the Mayor's strongest supporters on the Council, Brooklyn Fusionist Genevieve Earle and Bronx American Laborist Gertrude Weil Klein.
(If they still fit.)
(HA HA HA HA HA TED WILLIAMS OUTRANKS JOE DIMAGGIO! Oh, and kinda don't trade Olmo, OK? It's nice to have at least one outfielder on the club who doesn't squeak when he runs.)
Boston catcher Clyde Klutz will be sidelined today after crashing into the concrete corner of the Braves dugout yesterday while chasing a foul pop off the bat of Mickey Owen. In the collision, Klutz reaggravated a previous elbow injury.
(Invasion films on screen at your nearby newsreel theatre four days after the invasion is a very impressive accomplishment.)
(Note that Mr. B. Rickey is one of the endorsers of this program. No doubt he has scouts leaning against the cyclone fence taking notes at every playground in the city.)
(Gonna let Buff edit that first?)
(A croppie: Archaic British slang for a convict, derived from the close-cut "prison crop" haircut issued to residents of HM's penitentiaries.)
(This won't end well.)
(You've got to respect a man who wears pajamas with a pocket square.)
(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG is no arriviste.)