The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Of course he couldn't show a paycheck. Imagine how much he had to be spending at the Army-Navy Store!

You can see where the Army might seem relaxing.

Wait, there's a sub?? ANNIE GET IN HERE! AND BRING YOUR DOG!

"I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train!" -- O. Wilde

"I hate to ask this, son, but you really *are* in the service, right? You didn't just buy this uniform down on Myrtle Avenue?"

Action.

She's thorough, you've got to give her that.

Is it just me or is today an unusually tense day in the comics?

END OF PROBLEM.

Don't get suspicious kid, he's just Pipdyke & Co.'s recreation director. Hey, square dance lessons start next week!

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

We give the News a hard time sometimes, but you have to admit that what it does, it does extremely well.

 

[Fading Fast]

("F'Gawd's sake, Joe!" bellows Sally as she bursts into the outpatient department at Lutheran Hospital, three blocks from the Sperry plant at Bush Terminal, shortly after 2 AM. "What HAPP'NT? Ma comes awlaway oveh f'm Flatbush, comes bangin' onna doeh inna mit'l a't' night, says t'ey cawled'eh up inna an' said you was in heah wit' a busted head!" "It ain' busted," winces Joe, tapping at a bandage wound around his forehead. "It don' feel too good, but it ain' busted." "Wha' happ'nt? T'ey sen' in comp'ny goons a' sump'n? T'EM RATS, I AWRWAYS KNEW T"AT GILLMOEH WAS NO DAMN GOOD! I r'membeh when he pin 'at E badge on ya an' shook ya han', he din' even look ya inna eye! I hope ya at leas' got in some good licks!" "No," sighs Joe, "I fell downa staiehs inna subway." "What?" blurts Sally. "I was goin' downa steps, you know, up t'eah t'T'oity-Six Street, an' my back seized up again. Bent me right oveh onna steps. An'awlese guys comin' up behin' me, did't'ey stop? HELL NO! T'ey come plowin' righ inta me, push me down, I roll awla way back downa staiehs an' I lan' on my head. Knocked me out col'. Guard comes oveh an' hauls me outta t'way, an' when I come to I get up an' get up t'staiehs an'nen I pass out again, an' when I wake up I'm in heah, wit' noisses pokin' at me an' wrappin'is t'ing aroun' my head. I know Schreibstein's ain' open'nis time'a night, so awl I can t'ink to do is cawl ya Ma." "Oh, Joe," sighs Sally. "She come right oveh. She's oveh't house now wit' Leonoreh. C'mon, let's get outta heah an' getcha home." "Downa subway again?" shudders Joe. "I'd rat'eh wawk." "T'ree miles?" roars Sally. "You ain' wawkin'. We'll get a cab." "I dunno," shudders Joe again. "Lotta shady charactehs drivin' cabs t'is time'a night. B'sides, who can pay to ride aroun' in cabs?" "Y'll be gettin' a raise soon," declares Sally. "Or I'll go oveh an' bust Gillmoeh's head myse'f. I betcha Gillmoeh rides aroun' in cabs! Ya don' see Gillmoeh gett'n pushed down inna subway." Sally takes a breath and continues. "Subway is fulla bums! "O'ny time it eveh wasn't was'at time in Prospec' Pawk station, remembeh? Petey runs inta me onna steps afteh t'game an'ne says ''scuse me, lady.' A real gent'lm'n. But nowadays? BUNCHA BUMS! C'mon, les' get a cab!")
...

Sally came in loaded for bear. This is why they have to buy so many radios.

I checked the actress/waitress' real and movie-actress names on IMDB and found nothing. She was smart to keep her day job. It's rare, but once in awhile people are careful in their decisioning.

The saddest thing about the very sad story about the woman who killed her babies is that it's a mental illness that we are often no better at handling today.

...

("He's a gigolo and a heel!" Which came first, the chicken or the egg?)
...

He pulled an offshoot of the Spanish prisoner con, apparently, on several women. So little is new.

...

(Point of order: if Scarlett's clothes also become invisible when she becomes invisible, why doesn't her car? Do only items touching her skin become invisible? If so, shouldn't the portions of her clothing that are in contact with her undergarments also be visible? I hate to be the one bringing it up, but this is the kind of thing that goes thru your head when you can't get to sleep at 2 AM.)
...

One cannot think too hard about the "science" behind Invisible Scarlett or one's head will break. For example if, as you suggest, "touch" to the skin was the trigger, shouldn't the steering wheel (or at least part of it) be invisible, but since it's part of the car, shouldn't the car be invisible, but since it's riding on the ground, so shouldn't the ground be....

Or, if it's only the area directly touching her, shouldn't parts of articles of her clothing become visible and then invisible again and again as she moves causing different parts of the articles to come into and out of contact with her skin?

The science is a mess, but to be fair, the storylines have gotten a bit better since the strip first came out.

...

Wait, there's a sub?? ANNIE GET IN HERE! AND BRING YOUR DOG!
...

"STUNT DOG!!! WHERE THE H*LL IS THAT STUNT DOG!!!"

This is really good story development by Gray.

...

She's thorough, you've got to give her that.
...

She's Hu Shee's Lex Luther or Blofeld: "So, we meet again Hu Shee."

It really would be neat if Caniff brought back Hu Shee to defeat Rouge.

...

Is it just me or is today an unusually tense day in the comics?
...

No kidding, a lot of dramatic turns and tense moments today.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Ya really gonna go t'woik wit' t'at knot on ya head?" marvels Sally. "Sueh I am!" insists Joe. "T'eah's a wawr on, right? Solly's oveh t'eah gettin' shot at. Fawlin' downa subway ain' nut'n." "Well, wait a minute," replies Sally, stepping to the closet and removing a small box from the top shelf. "Heah, t'ake t'is." Joe opens the box, and lifts out a blue cap with a white button on top. "A Dodgeh hat?" Joe puzzles. "Wheah'dja get t'is?" "Hilda got it fawr me," Sally explains. "Coupla yeeahs ago. I give her a -- uh -- coupla bucks, an' she pul't some strings. Neveh min' t'at t'ough. Lookit, rap onna sides of it t'eah. Feel'em hawrd sides inneah? It's one'a t'em helmet hats MacPhail come up wit' afteh Medwick got hit. Put'it on, an' if ya fawl again, see, ya head is p'tected." "Hey," comments Joe, as he turns the cap over and examines the band. "T'eah's writin' sewed in heah. A name. Says C-O-S-C-..." "Neveh min' t'at," interrupts Sally, with a wave of her hand. "Put'it on. T'eah now. Ya p'tected, see?" "Heh," hehs Joe, stepping to the mirror and tilting the cap to a rakish angle. "Get a loada me. I'm a Dodgeh! Heh! Me an' Camilli! 'Hey t'eah, Dixie, lawng time no see!" Well, awright t'en, I'm off! 'Petrauskas hits a long drive t'right feel, an' it's up an' oveh t' screen!'" And with a quick kiss and a brisk salute, Joe saunters out the door. "Whatcha gonna do wit'a guy like t'at," chuckles Sally. "I ASK YA!" burbles Leonora.)

The name of Edward J. Flynn, Bronx Democratic leader and former Democratic National Committee chairman, has now been added to the already imposing galaxy of Brooklyn and Manhattan politicians who added to their prestige and influence by putting men to work at high wages in the Workmen's Compensation Bureau. Flynn's name was linked by the Moreland Commission to a number of appointments made by Elmer F. Andrews when the latter was a State Industrial Commissioner. According to testimony before the Commission by Mr. Andrews, Mr. Flynn was "quite persistent" in encouraging the appointment of men he recommended, with Andrews acknowledging that he confirmed the appointment of Henry F. Gordon as an Inspector of Bedding for the State Labor Department less than a week after Flynn supplied a letter of recommendation. In the case of James J. Keenan, endorsed by Flynn for promotion from solicitor to Chief Solicitor for the State Insurance Fund with a wage increase to $5000 a year from $$3500, Andrews noted that then-Assemblyman and current State Senator Irwin Steingut also weighed in to strongly encourage Keenan's appointment to the position. Subsequently Flynn, who was at the time serving as New York Secretary of State, urged that Keenan be advanced again, to a new $7500 a year position, but that recommendation was not accepted.

The Kings County Grand Jury for March handed down a presentment last week calling for the suspension of "all Police Department restrictions upon the uniformed police which hamper their freedom of quick action toward the lawless." "There is a very wholesome respect for law and order engendered by the judicious use of a club," the presentment stated. "Policemen know when and where to shoot their firearms, so that they can also be relied upon to use their clubs with discrimination." The presentment handed to Judge Peter Brancato also criticized leniency on the part of judges in dealing with second offenders. "Because of the courts' mistake," declared the presentment, "the public pays the price of being murdered, raped, robbed, and swindled. Only by the firm hand of justice can we be hope for relief from this plague."

(Point of order -- these two are, it seems, actual sailors. Shouldn't they be subject to a court martial rather than civil prosecution?)

The oldest private in the Army, 52 year old George "Pop" Keller of Brooklyn has finally lost that distinction. Keller, stationed in Panama City, was recently promoted to corporal. The new non-commissioned officer has three sons and a brother also in the service. Along with a new stripe, Corporal Keller was issued a new pair of shoes.

("Unless you wish to leave him..." Hey, that's not a bad idea. THANKS HELEN!)

The Eagle Editorialist notes that the recent revelation by the Office of War Information that, in Europe at this moment, approximately 5,000,000 persons have been enslaved by Nazi Germany should be interpreted as a vision of the future should the world ever be ruled by Hitler. "This is merely the prelude, the initial phase of a great scheme to reduce men to the status of beasts of the field who must serve their masters at the urging of the goad or the knout," the EE declares. " It is a fortunate thing for the world that Nazi ideology, in all of its aspects of horror, stands so fully and vividly revealed. The revelation must strengthen the arm and the will of its enemies."

("Y'mean plow under every third complainer? I'M FOR THAT!")

Italian soldiers keep charging the Americans in Tunisa -- to give themselves up. Reports from Allied Headquarters in North Africa say that in one case, an American truck carrying a group of Italian prisoners was attacked by German fire. The two Americans in charge of the truck abandoned the vehicle, and set out on foot for the closest town, leaving the Italians to fend for themselves. A half hour later, the truck pulled in to an American base --driven by the Italians. They had repaired the damage and continued their journey to its destination. A Signal Corps photographer assigned to take pictures of the new prisoners discovered that there were 26 men in the group -- where there were only supposed to be 18.

("Not much larger than a minute steak used to be." Now is that nice?)

Out in Milwaukee, team president Bill Veeck is whipping up excitement for the Brewers by sending his manager, Charlie Grimm, out on a vaudeville tour prior the start of the American Association season. Appearing this week in the Cream City's largest theatre, Jolly Cholly walked out on stage with a long-necked banjo, and performed a crowd-pleasing twenty-minute act of songs and funny stories. It might seem a long way from the days when Grimm piloted the Cubs to the World Series, but he's an intelligent, fun-loving guy who found the act in no way degrading. Maybe Lippy Leo, who recently pulled down a cool $1000 for a guest appearance on Milton Berle's radio show, ought to give the idea some thought.

Red Skelton and a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer film crew will begin shooting sequences at Ebbets Field tomorrow for the upcoming comedy "Whistling in Brooklyn." Several actual Dodgers are expected to join the titian-topped comedian in the film.

(Shoulda stuck with the cracker factory, kid.)

(Scarlett's real super power is PSYCHOLOGICAL TERROR! Let's see Tracy top that!)

(I knew we'd get to this eventually...)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG SMASHES MEAT RACKET, DOESN'T EAT EVIDENCE. Hey, wasn't there more meat than that?)

("Anyway, hand it over here. I wanna see if Caniff is hiring.")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

All the good liquor hijackers are in the Army.

Got a back room?

That's the problem with the world today, nobody wants to get involved.

"Annie, about this sub..." "Sub? What sub?"

Don't double park, they're awful about that in this town.

Never mind Millie, it's Mama you've got to worry about.

"You couldn't identify him." That's not a question.

Awwwww.

Hey, guy's gotta earn a living.

"Umm...wanna dance?"

 

[Fading Fast]

("Ya really gonna go t'woik wit' t'at knot on ya head?" marvels Sally. "Sueh I am!" insists Joe. "T'eah's a wawr on, right? Solly's oveh t'eah gettin' shot at. Fawlin' downa subway ain' nut'n." "Well, wait a minute," replies Sally, stepping to the closet and removing a small box from the top shelf. "Heah, t'ake t'is." Joe opens the box, and lifts out a blue cap with a white button on top. "A Dodgeh hat?" Joe puzzles. "Wheah'dja get t'is?" "Hilda got it fawr me," Sally explains. "Coupla yeeahs ago. I give her a -- uh -- coupla bucks, an' she pul't some strings. Neveh min' t'at t'ough. Lookit, rap onna sides of it t'eah. Feel'em hawrd sides inneah? It's one'a t'em helmet hats MacPhail come up wit' afteh Medwick got hit. Put'it on, an' if ya fawl again, see, ya head is p'tected." "Hey," comments Joe, as he turns the cap over and examines the band. "T'eah's writin' sewed in heah. A name. Says C-O-S-C-..." "Neveh min' t'at," interrupts Sally, with a wave of her hand. "Put'it on. T'eah now. Ya p'tected, see?" "Heh," hehs Joe, stepping to the mirror and tilting the cap to a rakish angle. "Get a loada me. I'm a Dodgeh! Heh! Me an' Camilli! 'Hey t'eah, Dixie, lawng time no see!" Well, awright t'en, I'm off! 'Petrauskas hits a long drive t'right feel, an' it's up an' oveh t' screen!'" And with a quick kiss and a brisk salute, Joe saunters out the door. "Whatcha gonna do wit'a guy like t'at," chuckles Sally. "I ASK YA!" burbles Leonora.)
...

That wasn't easy for Sally, but she understands what she has in Joe. It was a touching moment for those two.

...

(Point of order -- these two are, it seems, actual sailors. Shouldn't they be subject to a court martial rather than civil prosecution?)
...

Good question.

...

("Unless you wish to leave him..." Hey, that's not a bad idea. THANKS HELEN!)
...

"In the 20 years of our married life, this man has never had a world of sympathy for me, and all the sacrifices and struggles I have been though with him."

Obviously, we are only hearing one side of it, but this is a marriage that has problems well away from the office "vampire."

...

Italian soldiers keep charging the Americans in Tunisa -- to give themselves up. Reports from Allied Headquarters in North Africa say that in one case, an American truck carrying a group of Italian prisoners was attacked by German fire. The two Americans in charge of the truck abandoned the vehicle, and set out on foot for the closest town, leaving the Italians to fend for themselves. A half hour later, the truck pulled in to an American base --driven by the Italians. They had repaired the damage and continued their journey to its destination. A Signal Corps photographer assigned to take pictures of the new prisoners discovered that there were 26 men in the group -- where there were only supposed to be 18.
...

If ever a country should have sat out a war.

...

(Scarlett's real super power is PSYCHOLOGICAL TERROR! Let's see Tracy top that!)
...

Tracy is usually his own parody, but he gave his all to save that kid, so I'm giving him two free no-mocking-him days.

...

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG SMASHES MEAT RACKET, DOESN'T EAT EVIDENCE. Hey, wasn't there more meat than that?)
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This could break either way for Bo.

...

("Anyway, hand it over here. I wanna see if Caniff is hiring.")

You're shooting a little high there, Sis, with Caniff, maybe see if "Invisible Scarlett" is looking for a new villain. Or, I'm just gonna say it, maybe try for a one-day-a-week gig with "Fritz and Ritz" or whatever that silly strip is called.

...

Got a back room?
...

Oh my God, this guy is trying to run a candy store as a candy store. In game theory, that is called a "category error."

...

That's the problem with the world today, nobody wants to get involved.
...

Just another day of insanely impressive illustrations from Caniff.

...

"You couldn't identify him." That's not a question.
...

Yes, King is doing incredible work capturing this war both in his illustrations and in his storylines.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think what King is doing with the war is especially noteworthy because he's doing something that had never been done before in American popular fiction. Skeezix isn't just some random character -- he's someone readers literally saw grow up, day by day, in real time, from infancy. I personally, thanks to the wonderful "Walt and Skeezix" series of reprint volumes, have read all of "Gasoline Alley" back to 1918 -- and it's difficult to look at Skeez in this situation, and remember when he was just a defenseless little baby being raised by a fussy fat bachelor. Even over the three and a half years we've been doing these postings we've seen Skeezix grow from being a green kid trying to figure out adulthood to someone who can literally look death in the face and not flinch.

Frank King may not have written the "great American novel," but that's only because he worked in a medium that still doesnt get the respect it deserves. His work is, in all sincerity, the story not just of Skeezix Wallet -- but of a generation.

 

[EngProf]

I think what King is doing with the war is especially noteworthy because he's doing something that had never been done before in American popular fiction. Skeezix isn't just some random character -- he's someone readers literally saw grow up, day by day, in real time, from infancy. I personally, thanks to the wonderful "Walt and Skeezix" series of reprint volumes, have read all of "Gasoline Alley" back to 1918 -- and it's difficult to look at Skeez in this situation, and remember when he was just a defenseless little baby being raised by a fussy fat bachelor. Even over the three and a half years we've been doing these postings we've seen Skeezix grow from being a green kid trying to figure out adulthood to someone who can literally look death in the face and not flinch.

Frank King may not have written the "great American novel," but that's only because he worked in a medium that still doesnt get the respect it deserves. His work is, in all sincerity, the story not just of Skeezix Wallet -- but of a generation.

King is doing as much for the ground forces as Caniff is doing for the Air Corps.
King's attention to detail in terms of Army equipment, field gear, and firearms is amazing.
This may not mean much to the average reader, but he even included the magazine-winding-key on the Tommy gun (!).
Prior to Skeezix's induction, King's attention to detail was just as impressive. When Skeez and Bounce were talking about the engineering courses they were taking, it brought back memories, since I took those exact courses in undergrad. (I later taught some of those courses.)
When he was working in the R&D lab, I got some similar flashbacks there, also, since some of his test setups looked an awful lot like some of my research equipment during my dissertation research.
All of that technical information was so dead-on that I looked up a biography of King to see if he had gone to engineering school himself. As far as I could determine, he had not, but he sure picked up a lot of good information somewhere.
Skeezix's evolution from engineering courses, to civilian R&D, and then into Army Ordnance is a case of the Army putting the right man in the right job.

The human elements and interactions of Skeez, Dixie, and the Sarge are just as good.

The "Big Three" of WWII cartoonists, in my opinion, are Caniff, King, and later Bill Mauldin. If we stay with this long enough we may eventually get to meet Willie and Joe.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("HAH!" hahs Joe. "I'd rat'eh fawl downa staiehs inna BMT any day a't'week t'n hafteh ride onna Lawn Guylan' Rail Road!" "Y'din' fawl down again," inquires Sally with a look of concern. "Didja?" "Nah," shrugs Joe. "But'cha know, it was kin'a funny. I was woikin' at me lathe, an' a coupla times I seen two of 'm. But I figgehed t'at out, I conc'ntrated onna bot'm' one, an' ev'yting was jake." "I don' like t'souna t'at," replies Sally. "You sure you ain' got a concussion?" "A which?" says Joe. "When ya hit ya head an' it shakes ya brain," Sally explains. "Like hap'nt t' Reiseh when he run inta t'wawl." "Nah," dismisses Joe. "Nut'n wrawng wit' me." "T'n howcome ya jus' drop'ta spoonfulla oatmeal in ya lap?" "Oh oh!" gasps Leonora.)

House Republican Leader Joseph W. Martin Jr. last night demanded immediate action on a pay-as-you-go income tax plan to prevent what he called "financial chaos." "The Congress owes it to the nation, Rep. Martin declared in a written statement, "to see that a tax bill on a current basis is formulated promptly. If it is not done, the American people will know where to place the blame -- on the (Democratic) majority who control the legislature." House Democratic Leader Robert L. Doughton (D-N. C.), the chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, and sponsor of the Administration's "no forgiveness" tax plan, which was recommitted on Tuesday, had no comment on Martin's statement. Representative Harold Knutson (R-Minn.) who led an unsuccessful battle for the Ruml "forgive a year" tax plan was relaxing at Treasure Island, near St. Petersburg, Florida. Representative Aime J. Forland, (D-R. I.), sponsor of the only compromise plan so far, declared that both Republicans and Democrats on the Ways and Means Committee are being "bullheaded" about the issue.

(Seems like a soldier can't walk ten feet in Tunisia without being bugged by surrendering Italians. There oughta be a law.)

The Red Army of the Caucasus smashed thru a new German defense line north of Novorossisk yesterday as improving weather touched off intense land and air battles for the Kuban bridgehead into which glider-borne Axis troops were moving for a showdown fight. Soviet dispatches said the Russians were battering at the German defenses skirting Novorosssik on the south and the big Black Sea naval base was threatened with isolation by the fall of several villages near the only highway linking it with the Taman Peninsula to the northwest. A squadron of Stormovik assault planes intercepted a fleet of gliders rushing reinforcements into the bridgehead, and shot down four fully-loaded with troops. Moscow reports indicated that the same squadron ran into 18 German bombers and shot down six.

The Royal Air Force, taking advantage of improved weather to put its resumed offensive on a day-and-night basis, raided Abbeville and Brest today, a few hours after bombing Lorient and St. Nazaire, the biggest U-Boat bases on the French coast. British fighter-bombers attacked the Nazi airdrome at Abbeville, the base for German planes attacking Britain, as American-made Ventura light bombers blasted the dock area at Brest, located at the tip of the Breton peninsula. Air Ministry reports stated that five German Focke-Wulf 190s were destroyed by a wing of Canadian Spitfires escorting the bombers to Abbeville, and only one British plane was lost.

In Hollywood, screen star Dorothy Lamour appeared at the Marriage License Bureau with Army Captain William Ross Howard III, with Miss Lamour announcing that the wedding will take place "within the next four or five days." Fingering the edge of his Air Force uniform, Capt. Howard stated that no honeymoon is immediately contemplated. Miss Lamour noted that she had worked extra hard to complete two pictures ahead of time in order to allow for a honeymoon, but now it will have to wait until her soon-to-be-husband's next furlough.

"There can be no compromise with crime," declared Acting District Attorney Thomas Craddock Hughes yesterday in announcing a new policy in his office which will refuse to accept plea agreements for minor offenses in cases where a defendant is indicted for a crime of violence. "Crime cannot be stopped or fought even minimally by compromise," he stated. "It can be controlled only by bringing the full force and effect of the law upon muggers, thieves, bandits, and burglars. It must be brought home to those who commit crimes of violence that they will be severely dealt with."

Clergymen have "slovenly reading habits," according to a recent survey conducted by the librarian at Cooper Union, with the books favored by men of the cloth "falling short of the standard one would expect of a group with such high educational background and so rich an opportunity for educational leadership. The survey conducted by Librarian Harold Lancour quizzed 20 percent of the graduates of Union Theological Seminary, with approximately half of the questionnaires returned with usable answers. Religious books comprise about a third of titles named, with popular fiction running second at 15 percent, and most of the books named had been published since 1930, suggesting clergymen, like general readers, get most of their reading recommendations from book reviews and other forms of publicity. The most popular fiction book among those replying? "Gone With The Wind."

(Hmph. Without Williams, Pesky, and DiMaggio, what's left of the Red Sox? And Hig is "stocky" now? Too much whiskey will do that.)

Old Timer Jack Ferrand speaks with knowledge on the topic of old-fashioned red flannel underwear, because that was once his business -- he handled a full line of the long-stemmed garments as a wholesaler in the underwear trade. Tastes in the old days ran to both red flannels and white woolens for winter wear -- always long-sleeved shirts and long-legged drawers, never union suits -- and balgriggans, gauze, or white merino for summer. Many wore red flannel all year round, as it was seen as an excellent preventative of rheumatism. But Mr. Ferrand is fully up to date with today's trends in gents' underfurnishings -- "it's shorts thruout the year!"

(A jangling telephone interrupts Mr. Rickey's Sunday slumber, and as he fumbles for the receiver an unmistakable foghorn voice blares out. "WHO TOOK THAT PICTURE!" roars a certain Lieutenant Colonel. "CHESTER GOULD?? *click.* "Judas Priest," murmurs Mr. Rickey, burying his head in the pillow.)

Arthur Pollack predicts that "just because of Oklahoma!, we'll have better musical comedies hereafter. The comedy with and in song at the St. James Theatre may not revolutionize musical comedy within six months or even by the year after that, but musical comedy is going to be better hereafter because of it. You may be sure of that."

Olsen and Johnson are happy to be back at the 46th Street Theatre, where, five years ago, it all began with "Hellzapoppin'." "Hellz" is but a fragrant memory now, and its rowdy little boy "Sons o' Fun" is moving into the 46th Street house after moving on from the Winter Garden, with audience interest as high as ever. "It's been quite a job to squeeze this show together to make it fit the stage," says Ole Olsen. "We've got 17 girls in a room meant for seven. But the gang all like it, and everybody out front tonight seemed to feel the same way!" The boys have to head west in June for a picture, and had planned to close the show at that time, but the way things are going they're leaning now toward keeping it running with substitute leads during their absence. Come the fall, they plan to take "Sons O' Fun" on the road until heading west again in January for another picture. And then in the Spring? "Hellzapoppin of 1944!"

("Fatten him up for the buzzards!" Well, to be honest, he *is* pretty stringy.)

("I am NOT," sniffs Sir Hughe Knatchbull-Hugesson, "a P. G. Wodehouse character.")

("You'll shoot your eye out, kid! And if you don't, I will!")

(Panel nine makes Joe wince.)

(MEET CUTE. And Dan, you dope, before the night is over you're gonna wish you'd kept those cartridges.)

(Because of an accident, I've had to wear a partial upper since I was 18, and I've gone thru four of them in the past forty-two years. HEY MRS POTTS WHO'S YOUR DENTIST?)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

No words.

"This will be a familiar sight." "Look," growls Mrs. Hill, "I told you to leave me out of it."

Don't do it, Gould. We're warning you.

Never let a man do a ten year old girl's job.

"Really? Then let's get to it! Got a hatchet?"

Yes, indeed, it'll be no work at all for Rouge to pass as "Gueeneeveere Marian Tuckair"

By this time, Walt must have thighs of steel.

"Well, I guess that's it, then. Here you go, boy -- have a cigarette?"

Some rush headlong into adulthood, and some resist it at any cost.

All right, I laughed. Sue me.

 

[Fading Fast]

("HAH!" hahs Joe. "I'd rat'eh fawl downa staiehs inna BMT any day a't'week t'n hafteh ride onna Lawn Guylan' Rail Road!" "Y'din' fawl down again," inquires Sally with a look of concern. "Didja?" "Nah," shrugs Joe. "But'cha know, it was kin'a funny. I was woikin' at me lathe, an' a coupla times I seen two of 'm. But I figgehed t'at out, I conc'ntrated onna bot'm' one, an' ev'yting was jake." "I don' like t'souna t'at," replies Sally. "You sure you ain' got a concussion?" "A which?" says Joe. "When ya hit ya head an' it shakes ya brain," Sally explains. "Like hap'nt t' Reiseh when he run inta t'wawl." "Nah," dismisses Joe. "Nut'n wrawng wit' me." "T'n howcome ya jus' drop'ta spoonfulla oatmeal in ya lap?" "Oh oh!" gasps Leonora.)
...

Even for 1943, where regular readers of newspapers are used to a lot of "shocking" news about prostitution, rape, sex crimes, etc., the "schoolgirl" prostitution ring is pretty shocking and demoralizing.

...

Clergymen have "slovenly reading habits," according to a recent survey conducted by the librarian at Cooper Union, with the books favored by men of the cloth "falling short of the standard one would expect of a group with such high educational background and so rich an opportunity for educational leadership. The survey conducted by Librarian Harold Lancour quizzed 20 percent of the graduates of Union Theological Seminary, with approximately half of the questionnaires returned with usable answers. Religious books comprise about a third of titles named, with popular fiction running second at 15 percent, and most of the books named had been published since 1930, suggesting clergymen, like general readers, get most of their reading recommendations from book reviews and other forms of publicity. The most popular fiction book among those replying? "Gone With The Wind."
...

It's still better than our TLDR world.

...

(MEET CUTE. And Dan, you dope, before the night is over you're gonna wish you'd kept those cartridges.)
...

"My sister got stood up like that once. She found out later that her boyfriend had fallen for a lady taxi driver on the way to the church!"

Had Warners Bros. made that movie, Joan Blondell would've played the "lady taxi driver," Cagney; the guy, Ann Dvorak; the jilted bride and Guy Kibbie; the flummoxed minister. Seventy-six minutes long, directed by Roy Del Ruth and completed in six weeks, it would've turn a nice profit for Warners and been seen by Sally and Joe.

Did Dunn really not see the risk to a fire?

...
(Because of an accident, I've had to wear a partial upper since I was 18, and I've gone thru four of them in the past forty-two years. HEY MRS POTTS WHO'S YOUR DENTIST?)

Standards of appearance were different back then and the frugality of someone born in 1865 is foreign to even the frugal amongst us today, so God only knows what that upper looked like.

...

Don't do it, Gould. We're warning you.
...

Ditto, Lizzie, a very strong ditto.

...

Never let a man do a ten year old girl's job.
...

Seriously, Salt's an idiot. Annie's going to have to clean this entire mess up by herself.

"Don't forget about me!"

"Oh, please, I spent half the morning cleaning up your pee puddles because you're so nervous and all you've actually been doing is watching the stunt dog in 'your' scenes."
"Shut up!"

 

[PrivateEye]

Even for 1943, where regular readers of newspapers are used to a lot of "shocking" news about prostitution, rape, sex crimes, etc., the "schoolgirl" prostitution ring is pretty shocking and demoralizing.

One of the most shocking stories we've read. What are the odds she dreamt this up herself, and there isn't a yet-unknown adult behind it?

If she came up with this on her own at the age of 15 that's horrifying.

 

[LizzieMaine]

My thought on reading both the Eagle and the News coverage is that no way does a 15 year old come up with this -- especially given the specialized demographic of the clientele -- without some outside instigation. Investigate the family.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Does'is mean," queries Joe, as he stands over the sink pouring a froth of Bromo-Seltzer from glass to glass, "t'at we'eh gonna get some real meat pretty soon?" "I'm goin' down t'day," promises Sally. "I'm comin' back wit' sump'n. I dunno what, but I'm comin' back wit' sump'n. Hey, whassa big idea drinkin'at stuff?" "Ahhhh, nut'n," dismisses Joe. "Jus' got a lit'l headache, t'at's awl." "Lit'l headache nut'n," explodes Sally. "Y'got a concussion is what you got! F'm fawlin' down'innat subway! T'at hospit'l's fulla quacks, t'at's what, quacks an' bums!" "BUMS!" interjects Leonora. "T'ey give ya t'bum's rush out t'doeh," insists Sally, her face reddening, "'cause t'ey was afraid t'ey wan' gonna get paid." "Whattaya wan' fr'm me," shrugs Joe. "I ain' gotta concussion." "T'en why did y'jus' poueh t'at stuff ya drinkin' downa fronna ya shoit?")

German tanks renewed their assault against a firmly-held Soviet beachhead on the north bank of the Donets River below Izyum today as the Russian press warned that a great Axis summer offensive may be brewing. Soviet artillery broke up the latest Donets attack, the Soviet communique stated. Only yesterday the Germans threw 3000 men, 20 tanks, and a large force of supporting aircraft into a heavy attack against the same sector of the front only to fall back after losing 1000 men. Apart from a Russian advance that resulted in the capture of "strategically important positions" in the northwest Caucasus, the Soviet communique stated there were no significant changes anywhere along the 1800 mile front.

Secretary of the Treasury Henry Morgenthau unveiled before a group of Senators today an administration plan for post-war industrial money stabilization proposing a worldwide restoration of the gold standard. The meeting before the Senate Committees on Foreign Relations, Banking and Currency, and Postwar Economic and Policy Planning was secret, but it was understood that the administration proposals consisted of four main points: the establishment of an international fund contributed to and participated in by all members of the United Nations, the creation of an international board to control that fund, an agreement among all members of the fund not to engage in competitive depreciation of their currencies, attainment of stability by fixing the value of currencies in terms of gold, and the retention of all established international channels of trade and international banking for all international transactions. Senator Elmer Thomas (D-Oklahoma) told the United Press that he believes that the establishment of a World Bank founded on a standard international coin --preferably gold -- is inevitable, but that no nation dares to commit itself now due to the economic uncertainties of the future.

In Los Angeles, Madame Chiang Kai-Shek went again into seclusion today under a doctor's care after forcing herself to carry thru a public address to an audience of 30,000 persons yesterday at the Hollywood Bowl. Grim, white-lipped, and clinging firmly to the speaker's lectern, she said that China is fighting not only for its "homes and hearts," but for the upholding of pledges and principles in the interests of international decency and honor. As she concluded her speech with the vow that "never again would aggression be allowed to raise its Satanic head," she swayed, stumbled, and grasped at the arm of the secretary-general of her tour, L. K. Kung. Returning immediately to her hotel, Madame Chiang was placed under the care of a specialist. She is expected to return to New York when she has regained strength, and will be hospitalized here for a few days before her return to Chungking.

(Whit had a couple of drinks before the transfusion to make sure the blood would be compatible.)

A plan proposed yesterday by Mayor LaGuardia for a co-operative medical insurance plan for middle-class families has received the endorsement of the Group Health Co-Operative, Incorporated. Executive Director Winslow Carlton today released a letter to the Mayor pledging his organization's full support for the proposal. Mr. Carlton noted there is "substantial support from the medical profession for such a plan," based on the support expressed by many county medical societies who have studied such programs. The Mayor's plan, outlined in his weekly radio broadcast over WNYC, approaches the question of medical insurance as a "cost of living problem" for middle class families, noting that at the present time, the cost in medical expenses and lost wages from any serious sickness or major operation, or even a slight operation, will set such a family back months or even years. "It is not at all unusual," the Mayor pointed out, "for a moderate-income family to go into debt because of illness." The co-operative medical insurance plan would "remove the dread of illness and its resulting economic troubles."

Conspicuously absent from the Mayor's broadcast was any mention of the recent rumors that he is about to accept a commission as Brigadier General in the Army, for assignment to a special mission in North Africa, after taking a leave of absence from his duties as Mayor. The Mayor instead devoted much of his broadcast to budget matters for the coming year, and added a blow at the Legislature for its failure to take action against loan sharks.

(As long as you keep your grades up, you can go to Brooklyn College tuition-free. Keep 'em flying, kids!)

Radio commentator and former Brooklyn Eagle editor H. V. Kaltenborn has established a Harvard University journalism scholarship for students from Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island. The "Hans V. Kaltenborn Scholarship" will be awarded each year to a student who has expressed an interest in training for "news reporting and analysis in the press or over the air." Mr. Kaltenborn himself was unable to afford to attend college at the usual age and found it necessary to work for several years following graduation from high school -- and when he did, finally, go to college, he received a "leg up" from scholarships awarded to students who lacked the financial means to carry on their education.

In Seacaucus, New Jersey, a reward of five hamburgers offered by restaurant owner Max Bucher for the return of his missing cat went unclaimed, but the cat -- skinny and hungry after a week of roaming -- was safely returned. The person bringing the cat home declined the hamburgers, so Mr. Bucher fed them to his cat.

(A babushka? A jacket covered with signatures of your friends? It must be 1939 Nostalgia Night!)

The Eagle Editorialist is offended by a comment in a Springfield, Missouri paper about Dodger rookie Luis Olmo, who "doesn't speak or understand English, which is fine. They don't speak English in Brooklyn anyway." The EE raises himself to a high dudgeon in denouncing such persons who don't appreciate Brooklyn speech "because they speak a less melodious form of the English tongue" as being like "the raucous crow who resents the liquid notes of the lark." He invites the Springfield commentator to visit Ebbets Field this summer and test out his linguistic skill by denouncing the Dodgers."He will be understood no matter how high toned his speech," the EE sneers, "but what will happen to him shouldn't happen to a dog."

(Gawdblessya, Hilda. If any fan should be elected to the Hall of Fame, it's you.)

The Bushwicks inaugurated their 1943 season at Dexter Park yesterday by shutting out the Lancaster Red Roses 5-0. The combined pitching of Wally Holborow, Gene Phillips, and Bots Nekola held the Pennsylvanians to just two hits on a chilly Woodhaven afternoon.

("And now I'm OFF TO JOIN THE WAACS! Good DAY to you sir!")

(All right, now let's see you get her out of the car.)

(FULL BURMA)

(An important part of any business is inventory management.)

(WELL LOOK WHO'S BACK!!! Um, wait a minute. Oakdale is going by "Bill" now? That seems a bit pedestrian. He and Peggy got the marriage annulled? And who are these other kids? Adopted? A bizarre experiment by some weird cousin gone awry? Leftovers from "Hugh Striver" who needed jobs? EXPLAIN PLEASE!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News,

If Butch really is leaving, he wants to make sure you have plenty to talk about while he's away.

This just gets worse and worse. They better be planning to release the names of the "customers."

Lively, isn't she?

Yeah, you do that. Lotta traffic comes by here.

If you blow up the castle, the rubble will sink the sub! EASY BREEZY!

Sulphathiazole: an early antibiotic that can be effective in treating pneumonia. If it doesn't make you sicker first.

WAIT"LL MY MOUSTACHE GROWS BACK THEN YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY!

War is Hell.

Before there was an Internet.

Yeah, act a little more suspicious, willya?

 

[Fading Fast]

...

Secretary of the Treasury Henry Morgenthau unveiled before a group of Senators today an administration plan for post-war industrial money stabilization proposing a worldwide restoration of the gold standard. The meeting before the Senate Committees on Foreign Relations, Banking and Currency, and Postwar Economic and Policy Planning was secret, but it was understood that the administration proposals consisted of four main points: the establishment of an international fund contributed to and participated in by all members of the United Nations, the creation of an international board to control that fund, an agreement among all members of the fund not to engage in competitive depreciation of their currencies, attainment of stability by fixing the value of currencies in terms of gold, and the retention of all established international channels of trade and international banking for all international transactions. Senator Elmer Thomas (D-Oklahoma) told the United Press that he believes that the establishment of a World Bank founded on a standard international coin --preferably gold -- is inevitable, but that no nation dares to commit itself now due to the economic uncertainties of the future.

In Los Angeles, Madame Chiang Kai-Shek went again into seclusion today under a doctor's care after forcing herself to carry thru a public address to an audience of 30,000 persons yesterday at the Hollywood Bowl. Grim, white-lipped, and clinging firmly to the speaker's lectern, she said that China is fighting not only for its "homes and hearts," but for the upholding of pledges and principles in the interests of international decency and honor. As she concluded her speech with the vow that "never again would aggression be allowed to raise its Satanic head," she swayed, stumbled, and grasped at the arm of the secretary-general of her tour, L. K. Kung. Returning immediately to her hotel, Madame Chiang was placed under the care of a specialist. She is expected to return to New York when she has regained strength, and will be hospitalized here for a few days before her return to Chungking.
..

A plan proposed yesterday by Mayor LaGuardia for a co-operative medical insurance plan for middle-class families has received the endorsement of the Group Health Co-Operative, Incorporated. Executive Director Winslow Carlton today released a letter to the Mayor pledging his organization's full support for the proposal. Mr. Carlton noted there is "substantial support from the medical profession for such a plan," based on the support expressed by many county medical societies who have studied such programs. The Mayor's plan, outlined in his weekly radio broadcast over WNYC, approaches the question of medical insurance as a "cost of living problem" for middle class families, noting that at the present time, the cost in medical expenses and lost wages from any serious sickness or major operation, or even a slight operation, will set such a family back months or even years. "It is not at all unusual," the Mayor pointed out, "for a moderate-income family to go into debt because of illness." The co-operative medical insurance plan would "remove the dread of illness and its resulting economic troubles."
...

The above three stories in order discuss:

1. Global monetary stability
2. The future of China, which subsequently split into Mainland China and Taiwan
3. Cooperative healthcare

Just noting that all three are still stories today with #1 and #2, in particularly, having grabbed major headlines only recently.

...

added a blow at the Legislature for its failure to take action against loan sharks.
...

Ma Sweeney takes a sip of coffee and mutters to herself that no one forces them to borrow the money.

...

The Eagle Editorialist is offended by a comment in a Springfield, Missouri paper about Dodger rookie Luis Olmo, who "doesn't speak or understand English, which is fine. They don't speak English in Brooklyn anyway." The EE raises himself to a high dudgeon in denouncing such persons who don't appreciate Brooklyn speech "because they speak a less melodious form of the English tongue" as being like "the raucous crow who resents the liquid notes of the lark." He invites the Springfield commentator to visit Ebbets Field this summer and test out his linguistic skill by denouncing the Dodgers."He will be understood no matter how high toned his speech," the EE sneers, "but what will happen to him shouldn't happen to a dog."
...

"They don't speak English in Brooklyn anyway."

A good line is a good line even when you, we fans of Brooklyn, are the target.

...

(Gawdblessya, Hilda. If any fan should be elected to the Hall of Fame, it's you.)
...

She is a treasure, no question.

It's just a small blurb and he's not even running in the race, but every race of three-year olds in 1943 is about Count Fleet. The Kentucky Derby will be here in only four weeks.

...

(FULL BURMA)
...

I'm getting more of a Burma/Cindy (from "Smilin' Jack") derivative vibe. And let's not kid ourselves, Burma doesn't own a single article of clothing that doesn't button up the front.

I get what can't happen in 1943 comics, but if Alfred Andriola could, Caniff like, imply that Dan and Amber have hate sex this night in the swamp, he'd take "Dan Dunn" to an entirely new level. It's the perfect hate-sex opportunity as nobody's getting out of that swamp at night and, well, now that they've found each other, what else is there to do?

...

(WELL LOOK WHO'S BACK!!! Um, wait a minute. Oakdale is going by "Bill" now? That seems a bit pedestrian. He and Peggy got the marriage annulled? And who are these other kids? Adopted? A bizarre experiment by some weird cousin gone awry? Leftovers from "Hugh Striver" who needed jobs? EXPLAIN PLEASE!)

Yes, very confusing, but any chance that "The Bungles" (and Tootsie) are coming back to replace stupid "Hugh Stiver" is a moment to savor.

...

This just gets worse and worse. They better be planning to release the names of the "customers."
...

I believe a few names of "customers" were released yesterday, but yes, absolutely, release them all.

Stunningly, there is still no indication of an adult running it.

Also, it's just all but inconceivable that it went on. Running a business that is illegal, complex and has (very sadly) young girls as "employees" is incredibly difficult to do and hide. How long did it go on for?

...

Lively, isn't she?
...

Dyeing hair on the fly with mercurochrome must make for quite a look.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Babe Hoiman is back?" exults Joe. "T'ree men on t'oid Hoiman! Y'know, I was at t'at game t'day t'at hap'nt!" "Ahhh, dismisses Sally." "Ya wehhrn't niet'eh." "Gawd'smywitness. Nineteen Twenny-six. A doubleheadeh gains' t' Braves. I seena whole t'ing. Bases loaded, Hoiman hits it off t'wawl, one guy scoehs, one stops at t'oid, t'guy aheada him gets halfway home an' changes his min', runs backta t'oid, an'nen Hoiman, who ain' lookin', comes barrelin' inta 't'oid. T'ree men on t'oid! Hah! Y'know, I neveh seen how t'at woiked out." "What?" guffaws Sally. "Ya see sump'n like t'at an'nen ya LEAVE?" "It wasn' voluntary," shrugs Joe. "See, I wasn' act'shl'y inna seat -- me an' a buncha kids was, you know, layin' onna sidewawlk on Bedf'd Aveneh, y'know? Lookin' undeh t'at gate? An'nen t'at big cop t'ats awrways aroun'neah, t'at huge guy wit'a face like a moose? He stawrts swingin'at club a' his, an'ne runs us off." "Oh, I know who ya mean," nods Sally. "He t'rew Ma out oncet." "I neveh seen ya ma get noisy at a bawlgame." "Oh, it was f'sump'n stupid. She was up t'eah inna bleachehs playin' a guessin' game wit' people -- you know, t'ey'd write stuff down on little pieces a' papeh an' give 'em to 'eh, you know, guessin' if t' nex' pitch was gonna be a bawl owr a strike. T'at kin'a stuff. T'is moose face guy comes along, says it's agains't' rules, an' gives 'eh t' rush. I ASK YA!" I wonneh," ponders Joe, "if Hoiman remembehs how t'at play come out?")

Nazi invaders slaughtered all civilian residents under the age of 15 and and over the age of 50 in four Soviet cities, and enslaved 16,500 persons between 15 and 50 after destroying their homes. A broadcast from Radio Moscow, revealing the results of a special investigating committee into German atrocities committed at Vyazma, Gzatsch, Sychevka, and Rzhev, stated that the information was compiled by the investigators as evidence for future war crimes trials. The report also stated that Soviet prisoners of war held at camps in the liberated areas were found to be dying of hunger, typhus, and dysentery and receiving no medical treatment whatever. The investigating committee was appointed by the Soviet government after the Nazis were driven out of the four cities by Red Army advances.

The Germans hurled 1000 infantrymen and 10 tanks against the Soviet bridgehead south of Izyum today, but fell back in a ferocious battle. The attack, launched under heavy aerial cover, was the latest in a series of strong German thrusts designed to eliminate the Russian toehold on the south bank of the Donets River. Along most of the rest of the river stretching to Kharkov, the Red Army has been pushed back to the north bank.

Navy planes and RAF fighters followed up on a daylight raid on Antwerp with attacks last night on shipping in the English Channel. A strong force of Allied planes roared over the Channel today, and observers on the South Coast of England could see fighter planes overhead and the sound of engines higher up in the glare of sun indicated the fleet might contain heavy bombers. The raiders bombed one small and two medium-sized ships north of Dieppe, scoring at least one hit on the leading vessel. Two torpedo boats near La Touquet were also damaged.

Easter plants by the truckload will be distributed to 14 Government hospitals thruout the metropolitan area starting April 23rd, it was announced today by the Easter Plants for Hospitalized Servicemen Committee. Adolph Goss, president of the Association of Retail Florists, stated that it is the aim to put a plant by the bedside of every wounded soldier in the city, and to decorate the altars of all hospital chapels. Although Easter lilies are expected to be scarce this year, the association is pledging to provide at least fifty plants for each chapel. Delivery is to be made by the Red Cross Motor Corps, with direct distribution handled by Red Cross Gray Ladies.

A Gowanus cabbie was held up today for the second time in the past two months. Joseph Weneg was driving his taxicab near 4th Avenue and 8th Street early this morning when he was hailed around 5:30 AM by two youths who directed him to drive to Erie Basin. After a few blocks one of the passengers pressed a gun to Weneg's ribs and ordered him to "cough up." The two bandits escaped with $32.25 in cash.

Mayor LaGuardia dismissed talk of his impending brigadier-generalcy during an appearance yesterday on a British radio quiz program. The Mayor joined in via transatlantic shortwave for a broadcast of the BBC's "Brains Trust" feature, a program similar to our own "Information Please," and when questioned by the program's moderator about his commission, the Mayor replied "I'd lay off that if I were you. I have enough trouble with the politicians."

(Annnnnnnnnd just what do we know about Mr. Michael Rucci? C'mon, Valentine, let's investigate.)

A Jersey City police patrolman was shot and killed today by a woman in the hallway of her home at 366 Central Avenue there. Forty-one-year-old Ptl. Alfred Lundgren, a native of Brooklyn, who is married with two children, arrived at the home of Mrs. Elise Hendrickson Farr, "an attractive blonde," who is estranged from her husband, where she told him that she was planning to move to California. Mrs. Farr stated that Lundgren replied "you wouldn't leave me, you love me too much." An argument followed, and Lundgren drew his service revolver and handed it to her, telling her to "put me out of my misery." Mrs. Farr told police that she fired a shot at his chest, but insisted that she "didn't mean to kill him." Lundgren, a member of the Jersey City force for eighteen years, was considered "a model policeman," and was said to have known Mrs. Farr, a dental receptionist, for about four years. Mrs. Farr was charged with murder, and held without bail for the Hudson County grand jury.

(Miss Andrews is, as you may recall, George Jessel's ex-wife -- who married the then-forty-two-year-old comedian when she was 16. She left him last year because he turned out to be a boring old man.)

TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO IN BROOKLYN: Transit companies are said to be pressing for a six-cent fare.

(Sorry, Joe. "Pre-existing condition.")

The regional War Labor Board today approved a raise of $5 per week for chorus girls and $10 for equestrians employed by the Ringling Bros.-Barnum & Bailey Circus. Circus management petitioned the board on March 31st for permission to increase the pay for chorines and riders from the present level of $30 per week to meet increases in the cost of living. Regional director T. W. Kheel indicated that it was "the speediest decision the board has ever reached." The circus opens its annual New York visit at Madison Square Garden on Friday.

(Gee whiz, Leo -- movies, radio shows, on and on it goes. Maybe Skelton can play third base.)

Doc Brady has no time for complaints today. Mrs. "..." writes in to complain that she wrote in for one of his booklets weeks ago and has yet to receive it. "What kind of service do you offer? This is just a scheme to collect stamps!" Doc points out that he has her letter, but for a return address she just wrote "city." "The post office insists that there are hundreds of places classified by that name," the Doctor retorts, "and they return such stuff to us stamped 'returned for insufficient address! Next time, instead of arching your back at us, please use a better address!"

("That lovably breezy reporter in the turned up hat? I'LL KILL HIM!")

("WENCH??? You're next, Stamm!")

(WHY IS DAN TURNING INTO CARY GRANT????)

(THE OPA NEVER SLEEPS!)

(A Moran? With that mouth on him? Sounds more like a Sweeney!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"HAH" snorts Artie Shaw. "IT'LL NEVER LAST!"

I don't think this is how it works.

"Who you calling a tot? See this GIANT BEARD? I'm no TOT. Oh, wait, you mean 'tot.' Never mind."

It isn't what you do, it's how many people see you doing it.

YEAH TRACY! COULD BE WORSE! -- Little Face.

I wouldn't worry, Bimbo. As soon as he doesn't give Andy a bagful of cash for some dumb scheme, everybody'll know he's a phony.

Skeez has always been a very fast learner.

Damn you, Caniff.

C'mon, Willie. Report him to Consumer's Union!

Kid, that American Lit class you cut every day but one just saved your life.

 

[Fading Fast]

("Babe Hoiman is back?" exults Joe. "T'ree men on t'oid Hoiman! Y'know, I was at t'at game t'day t'at hap'nt!" "Ahhh, dismisses Sally." "Ya wehhrn't niet'eh." "Gawd'smywitness. Nineteen Twenny-six. A doubleheadeh gains' t' Braves. I seena whole t'ing. Bases loaded, Hoiman hits it off t'wawl, one guy scoehs, one stops at t'oid, t'guy aheada him gets halfway home an' changes his min', runs backta t'oid, an'nen Hoiman, who ain' lookin', comes barrelin' inta 't'oid. T'ree men on t'oid! Hah! Y'know, I neveh seen how t'at woiked out." "What?" guffaws Sally. "Ya see sump'n like t'at an'nen ya LEAVE?" "It wasn' voluntary," shrugs Joe. "See, I wasn' act'shl'y inna seat -- me an' a buncha kids was, you know, layin' onna sidewawlk on Bedf'd Aveneh, y'know? Lookin' undeh t'at gate? An'nen t'at big cop t'ats awrways aroun'neah, t'at huge guy wit'a face like a moose? He stawrts swingin'at club a' his, an'ne runs us off." "Oh, I know who ya mean," nods Sally. "He t'rew Ma out oncet." "I neveh seen ya ma get noisy at a bawlgame." "Oh, it was f'sump'n stupid. She was up t'eah inna bleachehs playin' a guessin' game wit' people -- you know, t'ey'd write stuff down on little pieces a' papeh an' give 'em to 'eh, you know, guessin' if t' nex' pitch was gonna be a bawl owr a strike. T'at kin'a stuff. T'is moose face guy comes along, says it's agains't' rules, an' gives 'eh t' rush. I ASK YA!" I wonneh," ponders Joe, "if Hoiman remembehs how t'at play come out?")
...

"...a guessing' game..."

It's 1926 and Ma is making book in the bleachers on single-play bets; that's freakin' perfect. She was almost a hundred-year ahead of DraftKings and its ilk.

...

A Jersey City police patrolman was shot and killed today by a woman in the hallway of her home at 366 Central Avenue there. Forty-one-year-old Ptl. Alfred Lundgren, a native of Brooklyn, who is married with two children, arrived at the home of Mrs. Elise Hendrickson Farr, "an attractive blonde," who is estranged from her husband, where she told him that she was planning to move to California. Mrs. Farr stated that Lundgren replied "you wouldn't leave me, you love me too much." An argument followed, and Lundgren drew his service revolver and handed it to her, telling her to "put me out of my misery." Mrs. Farr told police that she fired a shot at his chest, but insisted that she "didn't mean to kill him." Lundgren, a member of the Jersey City force for eighteen years, was considered "a model policeman," and was said to have known Mrs. Farr, a dental receptionist, for about four years. Mrs. Farr was charged with murder, and held without bail for the Hudson County grand jury.
....

Seriously? Something isn't right with her account even though it sounds like a confession.

...

Doc Brady has no time for complaints today. Mrs. "..." writes in to complain that she wrote in for one of his booklets weeks ago and has yet to receive it. "What kind of service do you offer? This is just a scheme to collect stamps!" Doc points out that he has her letter, but for a return address she just wrote "city." "The post office insists that there are hundreds of places classified by that name," the Doctor retorts, "and they return such stuff to us stamped 'returned for insufficient address! Next time, instead of arching your back at us, please use a better address!"
...

While Brady is not wrong in this case, the way he chose to respond to her and everything else we know about him tells us he's got to be one big giant jerk face.

...

(WHY IS DAN TURNING INTO CARY GRANT????)
...

The set-up today is even better for hate sex than it was yesterday: "I recognized you when...saw your picture," "Are you giving yourself up as a prisoner!" "Before I slap the cuffs on you, let's agree on a safe word." Okay, I made that last one up.

...

I don't think this is how it works.
...

No, not at all.

Technically, he's in jail for forgery and illegal bookmaking, but in reality, he's in jail for being an idiot.

Wait till he gets into dice games in prison, this guy will never have a cigarette to his name.

He's 30 years old and more stupid than crooked, the judge made a bad call, the better option: general infantry.

...

Damn you, Caniff.
...

There is no one else in his class.

This is the best one of Raven, in her iconic soccer jersey, I could find in a short search.

 

[EngProf]

Dan Dunn should be checking with Mrs. Eliza Potts about some quality dentures after *trying* to remove metal-jacketed bullets from cartridge cases with his teeth. OWWW!!!