The Era -- Day By Day

[Fading Fast]

...

A 20-year-old Williamsburg man pleaded not guilty in Felony Court yesterday to charges of burglary, possession of burglar's tools, and petty larceny stemming from a robbery of a small grocery store at 25 Broadway. Store owner William Frieberg charged that Philip Niewradowski of 279 Wythe Avenue stole $15 worth of goods, consisting of ten pounds of coffee, three pounds of butter, and ten pounds of cheese. Magistrate Thomas Cullen ordered Niewadrowski held on $1500 aggregate bail for a hearing next Tuesday.
...

"Burglar tools," you just know Davega has a selection of last year's tools. "Oh, we have some of those over in our, umm, uh, [lowering his voice] pilfering department."

...

("Well!")
...

The expression "you did it to yourselves" comes to mind.

("large Louie Newsom?" "HAHAHAHA!" laughs Fitz. "That's funny!")
...

"Now, Dear, we've talked about this. Other people have feeling just like you do."
"No, no, but this is really funny."
[Sharply] "Frederick Landis Fitzsimmons!"
[Contritely] "Yes, Dear."

...

Tommy Holmes relates a story passed on to him by "some of the boys" at Bear Mountain. It seems that one day in the midst of last summer's tight pennant race. Pete Reiser was standing in center field, in geographic proximity to the First Lady of the Bleachers, Hilda Chester, when Hilda tossed a note down from her seat in the upper deck, and commanded Pete to pass it along to Leo in the dugout. When, at the end of the inning, Pete did so, the Lip responded with a roar. "What the 'ell is this!" the Dodger skipper bellowed. "You play center field and worry about your hitting! I'll handle the pitchers!" Flabbergasted, Pete took a look at the note. "Casey looks tired," it read. "You better get somebody warmed up!"
...

That Is freakin' awesome. It's just so funny and believable.

...
(What, no interesting facts about Monty? That press agent isn't so hot after all.)

I caught that too and agree, that's no coincidence.

...

("We call this hairstyle 'the Raven.' Don't ask me why." And meanwhile, BRING ON THE ALLIGATORS.)
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If it's still Saunders or whomever, as I think there have been changes, the person writing the dialogue right now is on fire as this obnoxious guy is hilarious. As we've talk about, he's very much a true type to the era. It wouldn't fly today, but the imperious boss who condescendingly puts down the "newbies" was quite common.

Mike Terry started out as a much cooler character, but she's proved not to be a Kay Harrington.

And in the Daily News...

Yeah, he'll live.
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As Freddie looks at the picture on Page Four, he's about to make a comment about it to his wife, but then thinks better of it.

..,.

Somehow I've never imagined Tracy to be a main of faith.
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It reminds me of those "Little Orphan Annie" storylines from Gray where you felt Gray was working out his personal philosophy through his strip. It seems, Gould's pondering the bigger questions of life right now. The scales all wackadoodle, but the illustrations of this storm have been very cool.

Point of order: ever seen a rhino up close? Their heads are much bigger than this, unless it's a baby rhino, in which case how awful a human being do you have to be to hang a baby rhino's head over your fireplace, in which case you deserve to have Willie sleeping on your couch.
...

Most of the not-Caniffs of the comicstrip world struggle, as noted above, with scale quite often.

...

That was easy.
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Rouge is like an evil Hu Shee. If she escapes, she could become Hu Shee's Lex Luthor.

Oh, and...

I'm shocked, shocked.

This is not going to improve the Brahmins' opinion of the Irish.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Incidentially, note that today's Hill Page is actually the Hott Page. I can't tell you what's happened to ol' W. E., but Nell Hott was a prominent contemporary of his, who was best known for her drawings of children appearing in the old "Life" magazine, and her many magazine covers, from the 1910s into the 1930s. Mr. Hill is too old to be drafted, but maybe he fell asleep on the LIRR while carrying his drawing for this week into the city, and missed his deadline...

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Whattya cawl'is stuff," grumbles Joe, who is in no mood for it. "Fried souse," sighs Sally. "It's made out of a berl't pig's head an' tail an' stuff." "NO!" yells Joe. "I AIN' EATIN'NAT!" "WELL'EN YOU CAN GO WIT"OUT!" roars Sally back, as Leonora gapes with astonishment and Stella scurries to safety under the stove. Sally takes a deep breath. "Look, it ain't my fault ya t'rew out ya back las' night. You was t'one wawned t'go out dancin'." "Well how was I t'know tat'd hap'n?" snaps back Joe. "It din' LOOK hawrd." "Well, how'ya t'ink I feel?" retorts Sally. "Ya try to backflip me, an'nen ya tip oveh an' I lan' right on my behin'. Ev'ybody lookin' at us. Ev'na band stawrted laughin'! I ASK YA!" "I dunno why t'at hap'nt," insists Joe. "I musta miscalcalated." "It happn't," sighs Sally, "because ya awmos' toity, at's why it happn't. Ya din' see too many toity-yeeah ol's doin'nem kin'a steps, didja?" "Well, we USETA be able t'do it," argues Joe. "We din' useta be awmos toity!," counters Sally. "I'm gonna be toity in a coupla weeks! You t'ink I don' t'ink about t'at ev'ry day? Fois' I toin toity, an'nen befoeh ya know it, I'm swillin' down Lydia Pinkham's by t' bot'l." "Well," huffs Joe, "I gotta coupla mont's longeh." "Yeah," acknowledges Sally, "but t'at don' make no diff'nce. Ya ain' a kid no moeh, an' ya can' expect to do t'tings ya useta do when ya was. Now eatcha souse, it's bette'hn nut'n." "T'at's debatable," grumbles Joe. "What?" "Nuh'--OWWWW.")

Hundreds of Britain's biggest bombers shattered German U-Boat installations at St. Nazaire on the French Atlantic Coast last night in a heavy and concentrated raid that carried the terrific new Allied aerial offensive through its third night. The powerful force of four-engined Lancaster, Stirling, and Halifax bombers struck at the submarine pens, repair facilities, and crew barracks at St. Nazaire, while fires were still smoldering in Berlin from the heaviest raid of the war on the German capital. Big fleets of planes continued to swarm across the Channel today to continue the offensive.

German bombers struck Britain today in a weak attempt at reprisal for the Allied raids. Nazi planes bombed a school clinic at a southern coastal town, killing an undisclosed number of persons and seriously injuring many, including children. After raking the streets of the town with machine gun fire, the planes wheeled back out to sea.

Berlin remains "a sea of flames," with the glow of fires last night visible from 150 miles away, and a pilot leaving the area of the raids said that "the whole city seemed to be burning." The Soviet news agency Tass stated today that Gestapo chief Heinrich Himmler has placed all of Germany under a virtual state of siege as a result of air raid violations and increasing sabotage. All street traffic was reported to have been prohibited after 11 PM local time, blackout penalties increased, and military courts given jurisdiction over many cases formerly heard in peoples' courts.

(Queen WIlihemena says "hi.")

British and Fighting French forces advanced today along a front running from Djebel Abiod, on the northernmost Tunisian sector. A considerable number of prisoners, mostly Italians, were taken. It is reported that most of the French troops are native Moroccans known as "Goums," ferocious fighters who are accustomed to being paid at the rate of 60 francs for each enemy left ear turned in to the French. The Goums at one point met the Italians in direct hand-to-hand fighting, and the Italians rapidly fell back.

Workers at the two Brooklyn plants of the Bendix Aviation Corporation's marine division were back at their benches today, turning out precision instruments for the Army and Navy after ending a 24-hour work stoppage by order of their union president. The rank and file had voted Friday night to strike until and unless the Army or Navy took over the two plants. John J. Buckley, president of Local 853 of the United Automobile Workers CIO, appeared last night during a Bendix workers' dance at the Hotel St. George to announce that the Army and Navy are "in the picture" at the two plants, and while this does not mean a full takeover is imminent, it does mean that "they will remain to help solve conditions" within the company. The protest had been launched last week against what the workers called "intolerable conditions" last week, with more than half of all Bendix workers walking off the job.

A 29-year old Flatbush woman was among nine accused bookmakers arraigned yesterday in Weekend Court. Johnnie Hallawell, "an attractive blonde," was released on $500 bail by Magistrate Vincent Sweeney for hearing on Friday. Miss Hallawell was arrested by Patrolman Cornelius O'Shea at her apartment at 263 Flatbush Avenue, where she was alleged to be taking bets over the telephone. Patrolman O'Shea told the magistrate he had gained entrance to the apartment posing as a bettor. He testified that he found numerous betting slips in the apartment, and that racing results were being received over the radio. Offered as evidence was $220 in cash found on Miss Hallawell's person and $6.95 in silver found in a cigar box next to the telephone. Numerous persons were observed to come and go at the apartment before the patrolman entered, and when he asked Miss Hallawell what she was doing, she admitted "I work for a big bookmaker, and I get a certain percentage."

Kosher butchers in the city are petitioning the Office of Price Administration to reverse or abolish the price differential that places kosher-killed meat in the same category as processed meat sold to restaurants, which, they argue, gives packers a monetary incentive to sell to restaurants instead of small retai shops. Members of the American Federation of Retail Kosher Butchers warned in the petition that over 800 kosher shops in the city may be forced to close within a week due to their inability to secure an adequate supply of kosher meat.

("Lanallure?" Ann Sheridan says "oomph!")

Reader May Hennessey writes in to thank the unknown lady who "so kindly gave me treatment on the 86th Street-Fort Hamilton Parkway bus Saturday night." Seems Mrs. Hennessy's knee popped out of joint, immobilizing her, and making her "quite ill." But this fellow passenger's "kind and willing hands expertly slipped the kneecap back into place," allowing her to cross the street and go to a drugstore for further treatment.

("Bad enough we gotta pay that war tax on corn squeezin's!")

The musical world today is mourning the death of Sergei Rachmaninoff, pianist, composer, and conductor, considered by musical authorities to be the greatest master of the keyboard since Franz Liszt. Maestro Rachmaninoff, Russian-born, but an American citizen, died yesterday at his home in Beverly Hills, California, at the age of 70. There is no place in the world where he was not hailed as a virtuoso, and there is hardly anyone who learned to play the piano after 1900 who was not taught based on his techniques, such was his influence on the art, and there can hardly be a person who has ever heard music at all who is not familiar with his Prelude in C Sharp Minor, which has attained a popularity almost approaching that of an Irving Berlin number.

("Old Blowhard?" That's unkind, Mr. Parrott. Bobo's only 36.)

Dodger fan Stanley Tiger of Sea Gate, now a flight officer stationed at Lake Charles, Louisiana, has pledged to name his new bomber after the first Dodger to hit a home run after the regular season begins.

("Besides, walking around with a phone book on your head will look better than that hat.")

(If this story doesn't end with the Snail losing his legs for real, the years Mr. Stamm spent as Chester Gould's assistant will have been totally wasted.)

(Odds that one of these two end up gator food now running 1-1)

("Wait, this is a brick wrapped in suet. Oh well, there's a war on...")

(Leona says I CAN'T BELIEVE I AGREED TO DO THIS.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Princess Doris Farid-es Sultannah." Let's see Barbara Hutton top THAT. Oh, and don't be a sap and loan money to an archduchess. Everybody knows they're as bad as counts.

In other news, the new host of radio's Army Hour will be...

With a beard like that you can actually get away with saying "hark!"

"Hey, I know that guy! He busted me for runnin' beer in '32! LET HIM FREEZE!"

"Oh all right. There's a pawn shop just over that hill."

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

HAW!

Y'think???

Made for each other.

I'M SURE WE CAN TRUST THIS GUY DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM

 

[Fading Fast]

("Whattya cawl'is stuff," grumbles Joe, who is in no mood for it. "Fried souse," sighs Sally. "It's made out of a berl't pig's head an' tail an' stuff." "NO!" yells Joe. "I AIN' EATIN'NAT!" "WELL'EN YOU CAN GO WIT"OUT!" roars Sally back, as Leonora gapes with astonishment and Stella scurries to safety under the stove. Sally takes a deep breath. "Look, it ain't my fault ya t'rew out ya back las' night. You was t'one wawned t'go out dancin'." "Well how was I t'know tat'd hap'n?" snaps back Joe. "It din' LOOK hawrd." "Well, how'ya t'ink I feel?" retorts Sally. "Ya try to backflip me, an'nen ya tip oveh an' I lan' right on my behin'. Ev'ybody lookin' at us. Ev'na band stawrted laughin'! I ASK YA!" "I dunno why t'at hap'nt," insists Joe. "I musta miscalcalated." "It happn't," sighs Sally, "because ya awmos' toity, at's why it happn't. Ya din' see too many toity-yeeah ol's doin'nem kin'a steps, didja?" "Well, we USETA be able t'do it," argues Joe. "We din' useta be awmos toity!," counters Sally. "I'm gonna be toity in a coupla weeks! You t'ink I don' t'ink about t'at ev'ry day? Fois' I toin toity, an'nen befoeh ya know it, I'm swillin' down Lydia Pinkham's by t' bot'l." "Well," huffs Joe, "I gotta coupla mont's longeh." "Yeah," acknowledges Sally, "but t'at don' make no diff'nce. Ya ain' a kid no moeh, an' ya can' expect to do t'tings ya useta do when ya was. Now eatcha souse, it's bette'hn nut'n." "T'at's debatable," grumbles Joe. "What?" "Nuh'--OWWWW.")
...

Did the world back then not know that peanut butter is a good source of protein? My God, I'd rather have a PB&J than some pig's head/tail combination something, blech!

...

British and Fighting French forces advanced today along a front running from Djebel Abiod, on the northernmost Tunisian sector. A considerable number of prisoners, mostly Italians, were taken. It is reported that most of the French troops are native Moroccans known as "Goums," ferocious fighters who are accustomed to being paid at the rate of 60 francs for each enemy left ear turned in to the French. The Goums at one point met the Italians in direct hand-to-hand fighting, and the Italians rapidly fell back.
...

I know these are human lives and none of this is meant to conjure up funny images, but still, I imagine something like this:

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A 29-year old Flatbush woman was among nine accused bookmakers arraigned yesterday in Weekend Court. Johnnie Hallawell, "an attractive blonde," was released on $500 bail by Magistrate Vincent Sweeney for hearing on Friday. Miss Hallawell was arrested by Patrolman Cornelius O'Shea at her apartment at 263 Flatbush Avenue, where she was alleged to be taking bets over the telephone. Patrolman O'Shea told the magistrate he had gained entrance to the apartment posing as a bettor. He testified that he found numerous betting slips in the apartment, and that racing results were being received over the radio. Offered as evidence was $220 in cash found on Miss Hallawell's person and $6.95 in silver found in a cigar box next to the telephone. Numerous persons were observed to come and go at the apartment before the patrolman entered, and when he asked Miss Hallawell what she was doing, she admitted "I work for a big bookmaker, and I get a certain percentage."
....

A certain candy store owner and grandmother takes note of the Magistrate's name and breathes out a bit.

...

("Lanallure?" Ann Sheridan says "oomph!")
...

Kudos to MGM's publicity department for writing a nice speech for Ms. Turner.

The movie referenced, "Slightly Dangerous," is full-on sweater-girl fluff (comments here: #28,598 ), but Lana does look great:

And in the Daily News...

"Princess Doris Farid-es Sultannah." Let's see Barbara Hutton top THAT. Oh, and don't be a sap and loan money to an archduchess. Everybody knows they're as bad as counts.
...

So much more stuff happened to jewelry back then to make it news.

It appears to be Lana Turner Day in all the papers.

...

Y'think???
...

Mom to Dad: "He's probably just telling her how much he loves her."

Dad to Mom: "That's sweet."

Girl to Soldier: "No we can't do it standing up here on the platform, you pig! I don't care that I may never see you again, the answer is still no!"

That's a really good illustration.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("I ain' gettin' t'in on top," concludes Joe as he leans into the mirror hanging over the kitchen sink. "Am I?" "Nah," replies Sally, after giving her husband's scalp a cursory tousle. "It's jus' as t'ick an' wavy as eveh." "Jus' like Jawn Gawrfiel'," Joe preens. "Who's gettin' ol'? I ain' gettin' ol'." "Siddown an' eat," directs Sally. "Today we got Spam. One can I got at Bohack's. Well, not 'zackly Spam, it's Treet, butcha neveh know t'diff'ence." "Well now!" enthuses Joe, rushing for his chair. "OWWWWW!" he bellows, doubling up with pain. "It hoits t'siddown! What'd I do to my back, anyways?" "Well," shrugs Sally. "At leas' ya not gettin' ol'.")

Soviet troops smashed back into a network of German fortifications northeast of Smolensk today and captured three hamlets, while forces on the Kharkov front hurled back renewed attempts to force the upper Donets. Nearly 300 German officers and men were killed in fighting that led to the capture of the three towns south of Bely on the Smolensk front, a Soviet communique reported. Elsewhere on the muddy defense perimeter of Smolensk, the communique reported only patrol activity with one Soviet unit credited with killing 200 German infantrymen, destroying an artillery battery, and capturing assorted war material.

Britain, the United States, and Canada are reported to be massing gigantic land, sea, and air strike forces for invasions of Europe, soon to follow the routing of the Axis in Tunisia. Allied observers stated today that the primary landings may be made in Norway and Greece, with possible diversionary thrusts across the Channel and the North Sea into France, Belgium, and Holland, and across the Mediterranean into Italy. Prime MInister Churchill has already stated that the Allies are preparing to launch "invasions," and it was considered noteworthy that he used the word in plural.

A Queens woman has a message to relatives of men reported missing in action: do not lose hope. Mrs. Annie Jewett of 86-84 Palo Alto Avenue in Hollis stresses that the War Department isn't always right, and that their telegrams, though official, may be mistaken -- like the one she recently received telling her that her son, Pvt. Lincoln H. Jewett, was missing in action even though she already knew for a fact that he was not. Pvt. Jewett's name turned up today on a list of missing area men released by the War Department, but when contacted by the Eagle, she laughed and noted that that statement "is old stuff." SHe noted that she had received an official telegram on March 8th, but eight days later received a hand-written letter from her son, dated February 26th, in which he stated that he was in a British hospital far from the lines, recovering from "a touch of exhaustion."

The House of Representatives today voted down an amendment to the Carlson-Ruml "skip a year" income tax plan proposed on behalf of Rep. Claire Boothe Luce (R-Conn.). That measure, a compromise, would have forgiven income taxes on only the first $25,000 of 1942 income. The amendment was rejected as House Speaker Sam Rayburn (D-Texas) predicted the House will go on to reject the Carlson-Ruml plan to forgive the entire years' income taxes entirely. The Democratic majority in the House favors a pay-as-you-go withholding tax to begin on July 1st without any abatement of the previous year's tax obligations.

A Brooklyn surgeon faces further hearing today before Magistrate John F. X. Masterson on charges that he beat a 7 year old boy to keep him from squirming as the doctor removed his stitches. Fifty-six-year-old Dr. Michael Canick of 896 Park Place was charged with assault on young Barry Cooper after his mother, Mrs. Edith Cooper of 38 Lott Avenue discovered bruises, scratches and welts on the boy. Mrs. Cooper testified yesterday that the doctor called her son "a nasty little beast," but that claim was denied by Dr. Canick and by his nurse, Violet Nichols.

(On the fourth floor of 215 Montague Street, Mr. Branch Rickey picks up his phone and receives a roaring blast thru the receiver. "TICKET BROKERS! I PUT A STOP TO THAT ONCE!" explodes the voice. "RESOLD TICKETS WILL POSITIVELY NOT BE ACCEPTED AT THE GATES! POSITIVELY NOT! I FOUGHT THEM IN COURT ONCE AND I'LL FIGHT THEM AGAIN! PUT MCDONALD ON THE PHONE!" "The Eengleesh," replies Mr. Rickey, assuming a vague and high pitched dialect, "I do not speak. Very much I thank for call." Mr. Rickey returns the receiver to its cradle, and shakes his head. "Judas Priest," he mutters.)

"Property Owner" writes in to suggest that the Police Department might do everyone a favor by posting "CURB YOUR CHILDREN" signs in place of those which now read "CURB YOUR DOG." Dogs, he assert, do far less harm than the unsupervised children who break down fences, tamper with cellar windows, mutilate trees and shrubs, and generally disregard the rights of other people.

(The idea of "gremlins" will become one of the Second World War's most enduring contributions to American popular culture.)

In Riverhead, L. I. the Suffolk County District Attorney is investigating reports that an illegal cattle-slaughtering operation is a source of black-market meat, being butchered and sold without the required Government health inspections. District Attorney Fred J. Munder noted that any prosecutions in the case would be for violations of state health codes, not only because the meat is not being inspected for safety and wholesomeness, but also because the methods used to slaughter the animals are "cruel and inhuman." The investigation comes as Suffolk County supervisors consider establishing a system of local health inspections of all meat raised and slaughtered in the county.

(Gawdblessya boys. Get out there and sell those bonds.)

(We haven't checked in on the dear Doc in a while, but it's nice to see his bedside manner is as charming as ever. "If you think you know better than I do, it's your funeral *chuckle*")

(CALLED IT!)

(HAW HAW GOOD THING I GOT THIS PLAY MONEY FROM WOOLWORTHS! NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!)

(Ohhhh, the alligators will take care of her...)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG FOUGHT BRAVELY BUT WAS OVERCOME BY SUPERIOR FORCE OF NUMBERS. WHERE'S THOSE OPA GUYS WHEN YOU NEED 'EM!)

("Like Damon 'n Runyon!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Jesus died, why can't we?" This is called "missing the point."

"Might have been chilly, too." Yep, a vertiable Stalingrad.

Careful where you point that gun.

Hope the kid can still breathe under there...

"Sapping the Sap."

Movies on paper.

"Y'know, I saw 'The Desert Song' twice. Wasn't that a great movie?"

"EEEEK!" says the mouse, is a nice touch. As is young Kitty's conclusion in panel three that this entire afternoon has been wasted.

Poor Shadow. NO RESPECT AT ALL.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

The Browns? Hey, I'm all for it. But the Giants? HAHAHAHAHA! The GIANTS? ARE THE GIANTS STILL IN THE LEAGUE?????

 

[Fading Fast]

...

(The idea of "gremlins" will become one of the Second World War's most enduring contributions to American popular culture.)
...

"Break Hon. Glass In Case of Hara-Kiri."

..

In Riverhead, L. I. the Suffolk County District Attorney is investigating reports that an illegal cattle-slaughtering operation is a source of black-market meat, being butchered and sold without the required Government health inspections. District Attorney Fred J. Munder noted that any prosecutions in the case would be for violations of state health codes, not only because the meat is not being inspected for safety and wholesomeness, but also because the methods used to slaughter the animals are "cruel and inhuman." The investigation comes as Suffolk County supervisors consider establishing a system of local health inspections of all meat raised and slaughtered in the county.
...

"Say, Sally, how far is Riverhead from here?"
"Shut up and eat your Treet."

...

(CALLED IT!)
...

Spot on call, Lizzie.

Other than the occasional "stand up straight," I wasn't "taught" posture growing up. In my twenties, I hurt my upper back and went to a physical therapist who taught me correct posture and showed me some exercises to maintain it.

I went to her once and that was some of the best money I've ever spent on healthcare as it's now three decades later and I feel much better to this day doing those exercises and maintaining good posture when sitting, standing and walking. It really makes a difference or, at least, it does for me.

...

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG FOUGHT BRAVELY BUT WAS OVERCOME BY SUPERIOR FORCE OF NUMBERS. WHERE'S THOSE OPA GUYS WHEN YOU NEED 'EM!)
...

"Allow me to edit: 'America's Number One Hero Dog' fought viciously trying to protect the blackmarket meat he was selling as a war profiteer. Several of the patriotic dogs trying to make a citizen's arrest were injured in the battle."

CNN vs. FOX News 1943 style.

And in the Daily News...

"Jesus died, why can't we?" This is called "missing the point."
..

If Ed Norris is to be believed, Flynn might have met the less bad of the two sisters.

...

Careful where you point that gun.
...

Is anyone gonna call the police or are Annie and "Uncle Malcolm" going full vigilante justice?

...

Poor Shadow. NO RESPECT AT ALL.

Ed's done several hard pivots in this storyline, but kudos to him as they've mostly worked.

Oh, and...

The Browns? Hey, I'm all for it. But the Giants? HAHAHAHAHA! The GIANTS? ARE THE GIANTS STILL IN THE LEAGUE?????

What's most interesting about these types of letters is the passion that went into them. Today, when you have a bitter thought, you can fire it off on social media in seconds with all but no effort, but back in '43, Jim Ryan had to get out pen and paper, write the letter, look up the News' address, then find, address, stamp and seal an envelope and, finally, go out and mail the letter. Sadly, a lot of why social media is tearing us apart today can be explained by the removal of friction.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Butch inna Awrmy," marvels Joe. "'Magin'nat. He'll be t'on'y gen'rl inna Awrmy rides up t't'front on a fieh engine." "Fois' MacPhail an' now LaGawrdia," nods Sally. "I wonneh what's keepin' Rickey out?" "I c'n hawdly remembeh who was Mayeh befoeh LaGawrdia," continues Joe. "Was'nit Wawkeh? Ol' Gen'leman Jimmy?" "Nah," says Sally. "O'Brien. Jawn P. O'Brien. Remembeh him?" "Nah." "Neiteh does anyone else," scoffs Sally. "But I do remembeh t'at one t'ing he said -- somebody ast'im 'who ya gonna appernt f'police commissioneh?' An'ee says 'I dunno, t'ey ain' tol' me yet!'" "Oh yeah," nods Joe. "T'at guy. Wow. Diffen' woil' t'en." "Yeh," agrees Sally. "Fois' MacPhail, now LaGawrdieh." "Uh-huh," says Joe, leaning back in his chair to pick a speck of Treet out of his teeth. "Hitleh ain' got a chance."""One t'ing f'sueh," laughs Sally. "HItleh won' get no awrtichokes!")

While the prospect of relief from the meat shortage looked brighter today, independent wholesale dealers continue to be dissatisfied. At the Fort Greene wholesale meat market, dealers said they haven't yet seen a single pound of the emergency meat supply promised by the Chicago packing firm of Wilson & Company, and several wholesalers claimed that the promised meat is instead going to restaurants, hotels, and major grocery chains, and only a few "favored" wholesale customers. Wholesale meat dealers are expected to join with independent retail butchers and grocers tomorrow in a mass meeting at the Brooklyn Academy of Music where they will demand that the OPA work out a schedule so that they "can get a fair supply of meat."

Increasingly abandoned by its Nazi ally, Finland is on a starvation diet that may soon force it out of the war. Reports state that Finland is at present no better than an occupied country, with Germany failing to deliver on its promises to supply food, and other war-borne problems pressing heavily on the Finns. The Finnish meat ration is presently down to to 10 cents worth per person per month, amounting to about one sausage a week -- when sausages are available at all. There is only enough milk available to supply babies under a year old, and of other foods, only fish are usually in a sufficient supply to feed the population. Official rations in other countries are lavish compared to those received by the Finns, and Americans probably waste more under the present rationing in the United States than the entirety of the rations issued to the Finns. With the diminishing food supply, it is reported that the appetite of the Finnish people for continuing in the war is also on the wane, and it is considered likely that the Nazis will soon lose a small but valuable ally.

In Chicago, an 18-year-old heiress and her two teen-age escorts were kidnapped by a group of five bandits and carried on a wild car chase thru the city's North Side and Loop district. Miss Helen Priebe of Lake Forest, Illinois was abducted after bandits forced a car in which she was riding to the curb, and robbed her two escorts, 18-year-old meatpacking heir Thomas Stanton Armour, and plumbing scion Kent Clow, Jr., of $30. Two of the bandits commandeered Armour's car, and, with Miss Priebe in the back seat, joined with their associates, who had taken Clow into the first car, in speeding toward the city. Shortly before arriving in Chicago, the bandits driving Armour's car stopped long enough to push Armour out, flipping him a dollar for his trouble, before speeding off again. After police captured the car containing three of the bandits and Clow, the other two bandits stopped again to shove out Miss Priebe before speeding away.

(Perhaps Dr. Mills would do a better job himself as a wiper in an engineering plant.)

The lives of many thousands of war workers every day are being put at risk by the failure of the city to provide improved entrance and exit facilities at the 36th Street station of the BMT. A score of firms located at Bush Terminal have formed a committee to demand improvements, and have brought their case first to Borough President John Cashmore, with Paul A. Lynch of the Merchant and Manufacturers Association of Bush Terminal, Inc. calling the new drive a renewal of a four-year fight to stop the subway bottleneck at the station. More than 25,000 people a day, most of the war workers at the various Bush Terminal plants, surge thru the station, which serves an an express stop for the Sea Beach, West End, and Culver lines that bring workers to their jobs from all parts of the borough, and which are "dangerously overcrowded." There have already been several accidents causing injury to workers on the station stairways during the evening rush hours, including one in which Herbert L. Carpenter, manufacturer and leading advocate of transit unification, was knocked down and trampled by a rush hour crowd. Mr. Lynch declared that during those times of heaviest demand, there is "chaos" in the station as workers battle their way thru the narrow entrances and among milling crowds of incoming passengers waiting to change trains for locals.

("Eh," ehs Joe. "At least it ain' t' L-I-R-R!")

Brooklyn's April war bond quota stands at $95,000,000, an unprecedented goal to be achieved during an 18-day campaign scheduled to begin with a mass rally on April 12th. The campaign is part of a U. S. Treasury Department drive to sell $13.000.000.000 worth of Government securities during the month.

(It's good to hear that the Gargantuas are doing well, but did anybody ever figure out who was poisoning the elephants?)

A Brooklyn congressman is urging that severe punishment be meted out to black marketers. Representative Andrew Somers declared that black market operators are "stabbing our armed forces in the back with practices that are very close to treason." Somers predicted that if enough black marketers were punished severely enough, others will abide by the law.

A prediction that two out of three able-bodied men in New York City between the ages of 18 and 38 will be called for military service during 1943 was made today by Richard C. Brockaway, New York director of the U. S. Employment Service department of the War Manpower Commission. While the exact number of local men to be summoned to uniform during this year is a "military secret," Brockaway stressed that "we can be sure that this number will run into the thousands." Replacement of those men who will be drafted out of essential jobs "is not going to be an easy task," he acknowledged, "but it is going to have to be done." Brockaway noted that many employers are now understanding the importance of training unskilled workers to do jobs given up by skilled men who will face the draft, and urged that they also give careful attention to making greater use of "the potential supply of Negro employees."

Meanwhile, men up to the age of 45 who are now exempt from military duty may be drafted to work on farms. As the Government prepares to begin tomorrow to channel men currently exempted from military duty due to age or disability into important war work, it is reported that heavy consideration is being given to extending the present age limit for such conscription from 38 to 45. The order would apply to all men up to that age who are presently employed in jobs specifically declared as non-essential to the war effor and non-deferrable in the order issued on February 2nd by War Manpower Commission Chairman Paul V. McNutt. Local draft boards will begin tomorrow to strip draft exemptions from all men aged 17 to 38 who are still employed in those jobs. In addition, the Army's policy of discharging men who reach the age of 38 is to be halted tomorrow, but men of that age will be allowed to transfer to the enlisted reserve on the condition that they take jobs in essential industry. Draft boards also intend to summon 6200 men in class 4-F who have experience on dairy farms in order to "urge" them to return to that occupation.

("That's why I've signed up to work the swing shift at Todd Shipyards.")

A musical version of the Theatre Guild's 1931 comedy "Green Grow The Lilacs" will open tonight at the St. James Theatre. Entitled "Oklahoma!," the Guild's new production based on Lynn Riggs' original play will feature music by Richard Rodgers, a book by Oscar Hammerstein II, and will feature Betty Garde, Alfred Drake, Joseph Buloff, Joan Roberts, Lee Dixon, Howard da Silva, Celeste Holm, and Mark Platt. The production is to be directed by Rouben Mamoulian.

("The entire April war bond effort in Brooklyn has been built around the team." Name another community anywhere where that could happen.)

Senator James M. Mead (D-New York), who believes his recent comments concerning the continuation of baseball in wartime may have been "misinterpreted," writes in to clarify his views. The Senator emphasizes that he does not call for the elimination of baseball in 1943, and in fact advocates that it should continue as it did in 1942 -- except that, if necessary, the All Star Game and the World Series should be either played on a "local basis" or eliminated, depending on hotel and travel conditions. He also urges that every effort should be made by ball clubs to see that their games are broadcast by radio to the Armed Forces "wherever they may be."

("HMPH! You'd take a different view if it was a matter of you or the moose!")

(Fortunately, people HAW HAW around these cops so often they don't even hear it any more.)

(JUST NO PLEASING YOU IS THERE DICK? I MEAN DAN.)

("Such crust!" "HEY THAT'S MY LINE!" -- Geo. Bungle.)

("How are you fixed for innertubes?")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Polly Adler, "Dollar A Year Woman."

Fine 1942 models, aaaaaand a few 1941. And yeah, maybe a 1939 or two.

"Begin the torture at once." "Are yuh sure that's wise, Uncle Malcolm?" "Of course, Annie, Ha! Ha! What was I thinking. Have them all killed immediately." "That's the stuff, Uncle Malcolm!" "Arf!"

""Wh--wh---wheere's my --- hat?"

Better do something about that cowlick, wise guy.

JUNIOR COMMANDOS ARE EVERYWHERE

And no camel this time.

"You wanted action, friend? Grab a shovel."

Oh, I'm sure there are plenty of other mice around that'll work just as well.

"What?? There's a light bulb shortage, OK?!"

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

Bobby Watson will spend much of his career playing Hitler, including a series of low-budget B pictures in which der Fuehrer, Mussolini, and Japanese agent "Suki Yaki" engage in wacky antics. Last year's "The Devil With Hitler" marked the start of that series, but this picture does not fall within that continuity. Only 1943, and it's already hard to keep the Hitler Cinematic Universe straight.

 

[Fading Fast]

("Butch inna Awrmy," marvels Joe. "'Magin'nat. He'll be t'on'y gen'rl inna Awrmy rides up t't'front on a fieh engine." "Fois' MacPhail an' now LaGawrdia," nods Sally. "I wonneh what's keepin' Rickey out?" "I c'n hawdly remembeh who was Mayeh befoeh LaGawrdia," continues Joe. "Was'nit Wawkeh? Ol' Gen'leman Jimmy?" "Nah," says Sally. "O'Brien. Jawn P. O'Brien. Remembeh him?" "Nah." "Neiteh does anyone else," scoffs Sally. "But I do remembeh t'at one t'ing he said -- somebody ast'im 'who ya gonna appernt f'police commissioneh?' An'ee says 'I dunno, t'ey ain' tol' me yet!'" "Oh yeah," nods Joe. "T'at guy. Wow. Diffen' woil' t'en." "Yeh," agrees Sally. "Fois' MacPhail, now LaGawrdieh." "Uh-huh," says Joe, leaning back in his chair to pick a speck of Treet out of his teeth. "Hitleh ain' got a chance."""One t'ing f'sueh," laughs Sally. "HItleh won' get no awrtichokes!")
...

I don't "Google ahead" any of these stories as I want to experience them "in real '43 time," so I don't know, but my memory of NYC history doesn't include LaGuardia serving in the army in WWII, but it looks like (yet again) my memory has failed me. I'm really curious to see who took on the role of mayor when he was away as I have no memory of that at all.

...

In Chicago, an 18-year-old heiress and her two teen-age escorts were kidnapped by a group of five bandits and carried on a wild car chase thru the city's North Side and Loop district. Miss Helen Priebe of Lake Forest, Illinois was abducted after bandits forced a car in which she was riding to the curb, and robbed her two escorts, 18-year-old meatpacking heir Thomas Stanton Armour, and plumbing scion Kent Clow, Jr., of $30. Two of the bandits commandeered Armour's car, and, with Miss Priebe in the back seat, joined with their associates, who had taken Clow into the first car, in speeding toward the city. Shortly before arriving in Chicago, the bandits driving Armour's car stopped long enough to push Armour out, flipping him a dollar for his trouble, before speeding off again. After police captured the car containing three of the bandits and Clow, the other two bandits stopped again to shove out Miss Priebe before speeding away.
...

This sounds like it was well planned. Good grief.

(It's good to hear that the Gargantuas are doing well, but did anybody ever figure out who was poisoning the elephants?)
...

Good question. It appears to be just another one of many stories that comes up and, then, disappears unresolved like the blonde female bank robber or the dead body in the grease pit.

...

A Brooklyn congressman is urging that severe punishment be meted out to black marketers. Representative Andrew Somers declared that black market operators are "stabbing our armed forces in the back with practices that are very close to treason." Somers predicted that if enough black marketers were punished severely enough, others will abide by the law.
...

"Rut Roh"

And in the Daily News...

Polly Adler, "Dollar A Year Woman."
...

Prostitution and alcohol - same thing. The government needs to make its peace with the businesses and then regulate them to protect everyone involved as much as possible, in particular, the prostitutes themselves.

...

Fine 1942 models, aaaaaand a few 1941. And yeah, maybe a 1939 or two.
...

As Joe reads the ad, he mumbles, "well, baseball season is here, so maybe I should buy a tabletop model to have in reserve, just in case one decides to throw itself out the window as radios seem to do from time to time."

"What?"

"Nut'n."

...

"Begin the torture at once." "Are yuh sure that's wise, Uncle Malcolm?" "Of course, Annie, Ha! Ha! What was I thinking. Have them all killed immediately." "That's the stuff, Uncle Malcolm!" "Arf!"
...

I find it hard to take Uncle Malcolm seriously with that insane beard.

...

Better do something about that cowlick, wise guy.
...

"Jumping the shark," comicstrip-storyline style 1943.

...

"You wanted action, friend? Grab a shovel."
...

Doesn't look like a bomber, but if it is, grab the bombsight.

...

"What?? There's a light bulb shortage, OK?!"

Shadow's smarter than this.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Terrence would be best sticking to plausible script. The Rambo Rouge act is a bit much, what with the bargain
deal with Jitsu discarded and Cork's cold shoulder towards her and his later straight arm distance with Taffy.
Maybe I'm jaded but it seems a good amount of gender personality-normal chess game story plot line amidst
wartime China-is deliberately avoided.
And this is perhaps more apparent because the actual newsprint stories rip adultery, homicide, political
intrigue, and that's not even tossing Hollywood into it are stark. And then there is the War itself.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Well now," says Ma Sweeney. "If Joseph needs some worrk to do while this business is goin' on at his plant, why, I'm sure we c'n foind somethin' for him to do." "He neveh said nut'n t'me 'bout no strike comin'," replies Sally. "T'ey ain' too happy 'bout t' subway up t'eah, but I dunno what else t'is could be awlabout. But he wen' in t'is aftehnoon like awrways, so I guess I fin' out when he gets home t'night." "I need a boy t'do me some little errands," continues Ma. "Thar's some things I need to be picked oop ooover in t' Flatlan's. Joost a smaal parrcel, that's all. Woon't be but a half hoors' work. Uusually Danny Leary does it foor me, boot he's -- ootherwise occupied t'day." "I dunno," shrugs Sally. "Joe don' know his way aroun'a Flatlan's too good. Las' time he was oveh t'eah, him an' Solly Pincus, t'ey en'ned up awla way out t'Canarwsie, down by Barren Islan'. I hadda berl his cloe's t'get t' smell awff. T'ey hadda wawk awla way back home, six miles t'ey hadda wawk, 'cause, Joe said, t'ey bot' laws t'eah billfolds. 'Magine'nat." "Ah," says Ma. "I wonndur if I can get Jimmy Leary to do it.")

Selective Service officials are working today on plans that would abolish all dependency exemptions for men in currently holding 3-A, 3-B, and 3-C draft classifications. It is understood that the only possible exceptions would be for men with children born before Pearl Harbor, but even that is by no means definite. Fathers excepting those born after Pearl Harbor, and those in non-deferrable jobs, cannot be drafted until the present ban against inducting them is officially lifted by order of Selective Service Director Maj. Gen. Lewis B. Hershey -- an order he is expected to issue in the near future. The new arrangement of classifications would place married men not entitled to an occupational deferrment, now holding 3-A classifications, in class 2-A; married men who hold jobs essential to war production, now holding 3-A or 3-B classifications, in class 2-B; and married men with essential jobs in agriculture now in class 3-C would be reclassified 2-C. It is anticipated that those men who receive 2-B and 2-C classifications would hold what amounts to an exemption for the duration of the war so long as they remain in their present employment. The manpower shortage remains critical, with the pool of single men "at rock bottom," and childless married men being inducted in large numbers. Men in class 2-B could be expected to be called only if the situation worsens, with class 2-C the last to be called.

Red Armies smashed two strong German attacks on the Kharkov front today and inched deeper into the Smolensk defense belt on the sodden central front. The shrinking German bridgehead in the northwest Caucasus was in grave danger of being cut in two as a result of the Soviet capture yesterday of Anastasevakaya, 38 miles north of Norvorrossisk, and only 12 miles northeast of Verenikovskaya on the last highway link between German forces north and south of the Kuban River.

The German radio today claimed that an American Flying Fortress raid on Rotterdam yesterday killed 180 persons, injured 400, destroyed more than 1000 houses and left 10,000 homeless. British and American planes rocked Adolf Hitler's European fortress with a record 15,000 tons of bombs during March, it was estimated today, but bad weather last night prevented the Royal Air Force from observing its 25th Anniversary with another blockbuster raid on Germany itself.

Government subsides to permit low-income Americans to buy about as much food as is available to those in the upper brackets were envisioned today during an interview by Roy F. Hendrickson, food distribution administration director and a chief aide of Federal food administrator Chester C. Davis. Mr. Hendrickson pointed out in the interview that low-income Americans generally can afford 40 percent less food than those in high income groups, but in England, which before the war had an even greater food gap, it has been by means of government subsidies, reduced to 10 percent. Congress has already rejected a suggested appropriation of $100,000,000 for this purpose, and Mr. Hendrickson stated "it looks damned tough for those without income. I don't think anybody intends for anybody to be hungry. I think these groups ought to be protected by Government subsidy thru the increase of Federal and State allowances."

Meat quotas for distributors in New York City are to be increased by "at least half again as much," according to Brooklyn Congressman Emanuel Celler, who announced that Price Administrator Prentiss Brown has increased that quota after a conference with local wholesalers and Congressmen. Rep. Celler did not mention a specific figure, but stressed that the increase will mean more meat available for distribution to local butchers. These quotas, he added, will remain in effect until Price Administrator Brown receives a report from a staff of experts studying the meat problem in the city.

(YOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOO! I wonder if Marshal Timoshenko gets in much golf?)

(Meh. Give me "The Boys from Syracuse" any day.)

"Gone With The Wind," which has lately been playing the neighborhood houses, returns today to the Brooklyn Strand for the benefit of those who want to brush up their memories of the lengthy, fascinating spectacle first screened at the end of 1939, as well as for those who were in Timbuctoo when the picture made its first tour of the borough in 1940. The Strand will present the full-length version, three and three-quarters hours of Technicolor splendor, and the temptation to see it again to prove if it was as good as you remember it is likely to be overwhelming.

("I hear there might be an opening for Mayor soon, though. I'm lookin' into that!")

Reader Marshall Tyler, who just moved here from Connecticut complains about the Sullivan Law, which forced him to leave "a fine collection of target guns reposing in a Connecticut attic." He further complains that he was "made to feel like a gangster" when he was required to file for a permit to bring those guns into New York -- and he didn't even get one.

A month-old baby was found abandoned this morning, in the hallway of a Flatbush apartment building. The superintendant of 236 E. 28th Street, Julia Lash, found the clean, well-dressed baby girl in a carriage in the hallway, and turned the child over to police. The infant was subsequently removed to the New York Foundling Hospital in Manhattan.

(Exhibition game in two days at Ebbets Field? Is the ground thawed yet?)

(Whew. I'd never make it as a model.)

(Y'know, Snail, you oughta patent this wheel-board thing. I got a feeling it might catch on with kids.)

(Dan would never make the cut in the Girl Scouts.)

(OH BOY PRICE ADMINISTRATOR PRENTISS BROWN WILL GIVE ME A MEDAL AND ALL THE NEWSREELS WILL BE THERE AND I'LL BE ASKED TO SPEAK ON THE RADIO AND EVERYTHING)

("Oh you dear boy, don't you know how lonely it is to be a lonely old lady?")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Why aren't these boys in the Army? Commissions not come thru yet?

NOW STOP.

If this guy doesn't turn out to be Driftwood's long lost father, I'll be sadly disappointed.

20 MPH? Hope the hospital's not too far away.

You know, this is exactly what Townsend Zander did to Bim ten years ago. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE REALLY UNCLE BUMLEY???

I imagine we'll be finding Lt. Peter A. Mist any moment now.

Be sure to do the roots.

In this house, every day is April Fool's Day.

We had school desks like this, and I got in trouble in the first grade for tying the shoelaces of the bratty kid who sat in front of me to the legs. He got up, desk was bolted to the floor, and I got in trouble. BUT HE ASKED FOR IT.

Shadow Smart, Secret Operative. Kay's been doing some quality recruiting.

 

[Fading Fast]

("Well now," says Ma Sweeney. "If Joseph needs some worrk to do while this business is goin' on at his plant, why, I'm sure we c'n foind somethin' for him to do." "He neveh said nut'n t'me 'bout no strike comin'," replies Sally. "T'ey ain' too happy 'bout t' subway up t'eah, but I dunno what else t'is could be awlabout. But he wen' in t'is aftehnoon like awrways, so I guess I fin' out when he gets home t'night." "I need a boy t'do me some little errands," continues Ma. "Thar's some things I need to be picked oop ooover in t' Flatlan's. Joost a smaal parrcel, that's all. Woon't be but a half hoors' work. Uusually Danny Leary does it foor me, boot he's -- ootherwise occupied t'day." "I dunno," shrugs Sally. "Joe don' know his way aroun'a Flatlan's too good. Las' time he was oveh t'eah, him an' Solly Pincus, t'ey en'ned up awla way out t'Canarwsie, down by Barren Islan'. I hadda berl his cloe's t'get t' smell awff. T'ey hadda wawk awla way back home, six miles t'ey hadda wawk, 'cause, Joe said, t'ey bot' laws t'eah billfolds. 'Magine'nat." "Ah," says Ma. "I wonndur if I can get Jimmy Leary to do it.")
...

I don't see Joe as part of the strike group, but we'll find out when he gets home.

Lamarr's suit will be interesting to follow.

How can someone be shot in the chest and it not be serious with 1943 medical knowledge?

The attack in the Bronx Opera House sounds brutal, too brutal to be detailed in a 1943 newspaper, but the between-the-lines read isn't pretty.

...

A month-old baby was found abandoned this morning, in the hallway of a Flatbush apartment building. The superintendant of 236 E. 28th Street, Julia Lash, found the clean, well-dressed baby girl in a carriage in the hallway, and turned the child over to police. The infant was subsequently removed to the New York Foundling Hospital in Manhattan.
...

Didn't Ginger Rogers and David Niven star in the movie version of this story a few years ago?

...

(Whew. I'd never make it as a model.)
...

There are a ton of work-a-day models in NYC and it is not easy work at all. Obviously, you need to know all the things Towers is teaching (many pretty girls wash out during the training), but also getting work regularly is hard, the actual day of modeling is long, tedious and stressful and it's a short career (that's changing a bit). As in any field, the ones who make it big, do well, but the average model has a hard job.

...

("Oh you dear boy, don't you know how lonely it is to be a lonely old lady?")

"Oh, great, the guy who uses made-up words is complimenting my intelligence."

And in the Daily News...

Why aren't these boys in the Army? Commissions not come thru yet?
...

Even by the standards of society affairs, Mrs. Gundry and Mr. Danielson sound like nasty, selfish and small people.

...

Be sure to do the roots.
...

How will zee snap-ee Yonkee nurse explain her accent?

...

We had school desks like this, and I got in trouble in the first grade for tying the shoelaces of the bratty kid who sat in front of me to the legs. He got up, desk was bolted to the floor, and I got in trouble. BUT HE ASKED FOR IT.
...

Had those desk, too, in sixth grade grammar school in '75.

School budgets truly were much more frugal then and that is not "In my day we walked six miles in the snow to school..." thinking as school budget increases have truly exceeded inflation for decades since the 1970s.

Our night table is a school kid's desk, but not with the chair attached, from the same era (ink well and all).

 

[LizzieMaine]

Here's the News story on the Bronx theatre attack., with little held back. I"m not a big trigger-warning person, but this time it's entirely warranted.

There is no possible comment.

 

[Fading Fast]

Here's the News story on the Bronx theatre attack., with little held back. I"m not a big trigger-warning person, but this time it's entirely warranted.

View attachment 503600
There is no possible comment.

You could feel the awfulness of this in the carefully worded article in the Eagle.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("F'Gawd's sake, Joe!" bellows Sally as she bursts into the outpatient department at Lutheran Hospital, three blocks from the Sperry plant at Bush Terminal, shortly after 2 AM. "What HAPP'NT? Ma comes awlaway oveh f'm Flatbush, comes bangin' onna doeh inna mit'l a't' night, says t'ey cawled'eh up inna an' said you was in heah wit' a busted head!" "It ain' busted," winces Joe, tapping at a bandage wound around his forehead. "It don' feel too good, but it ain' busted." "Wha' happ'nt? T'ey sen' in comp'ny goons a' sump'n? T'EM RATS, I AWRWAYS KNEW T"AT GILLMOEH WAS NO DAMN GOOD! I r'membeh when he pin 'at E badge on ya an' shook ya han', he din' even look ya inna eye! I hope ya at leas' got in some good licks!" "No," sighs Joe, "I fell downa staiehs inna subway." "What?" blurts Sally. "I was goin' downa steps, you know, up t'eah t'T'oity-Six Street, an' my back seized up again. Bent me right oveh onna steps. An'awlese guys comin' up behin' me, did't'ey stop? HELL NO! T'ey come plowin' righ inta me, push me down, I roll awla way back downa staiehs an' I lan' on my head. Knocked me out col'. Guard comes oveh an' hauls me outta t'way, an' when I come to I get up an' get up t'staiehs an'nen I pass out again, an' when I wake up I'm in heah, wit' noisses pokin' at me an' wrappin'is t'ing aroun' my head. I know Schreibstein's ain' open'nis time'a night, so awl I can t'ink to do is cawl ya Ma." "Oh, Joe," sighs Sally. "She come right oveh. She's oveh't house now wit' Leonoreh. C'mon, let's get outta heah an' getcha home." "Downa subway again?" shudders Joe. "I'd rat'eh wawk." "T'ree miles?" roars Sally. "You ain' wawkin'. We'll get a cab." "I dunno," shudders Joe again. "Lotta shady charactehs drivin' cabs t'is time'a night. B'sides, who can pay to ride aroun' in cabs?" "Y'll be gettin' a raise soon," declares Sally. "Or I'll go oveh an' bust Gillmoeh's head myse'f. I betcha Gillmoeh rides aroun' in cabs! Ya don' see Gillmoeh gett'n pushed down inna subway." Sally takes a breath and continues. "Subway is fulla bums! "O'ny time it eveh wasn't was'at time in Prospec' Pawk station, remembeh? Petey runs inta me onna steps afteh t'game an'ne says ''scuse me, lady.' A real gent'lm'n. But nowadays? BUNCHA BUMS! C'mon, les' get a cab!")

Nazi broadcasts asserted today that British parachutists bent on sabotaging the German war effort from within pending a full-scale Alllied invasion, are now operating in Denmark. It was reported that armed British saboteurs dropped from planes were responsible for setting fire to at least four workshops and a German barracks in Copenhagen alone, and elsewhere blew up a large factory. The Danish incidents were reported as Nazi occupation authorities in Norway pressed a large-scale search of the Hardanger Vidda, a mountain plateau west of Bergen for British and Norwegian commandos said to have established a headquarters there. The claims that British paratroopers have landed in Denmark followed closely a wave of sabotage in that country, a wave so severe that reports from Stockholm state that the Nazi authorities are threatening mass executions.

Amidst reports that German Foreign Minister Joachim von Ribbentrop's status in the Nazi government is "shaky," it was learned reliably today that Nazi officials last December purged a number of officials in the German Foreign Office, the Air Ministry, and the Ministry of Economics for "furnishing information to the enemy. All of these officials, among them Hans von Schlechia, first secretary of the German Embassy in Warsaw before the war, were summarily hanged according to Nazi custom. It is reported that the officials thus executed by Heinrich Himmler's Gestapo were part of an anti-Nazi ring operating within the German government dating back to before t -- and that they were doing so voluntarily, and not as paid British agents.

("He's a gigolo and a heel!" Which came first, the chicken or the egg?)

Petitions urging consumer support for retail butchers will soon appear in every butcher shop in the city, following a vote by members of the Retail Butchers Protective Association to take their case on the present meat situation to the public. Association president Frederick Benedict declared to a meeting of butchers yesterday at the Brooklyn Academy of Music that those involved in the retail meat trade "are the second largest and most vital industry in the country, yet no other group is as cruelly victimized by bureaucratic organizations as we are." Reflecting on his recent visit to Washington to meet with Price Administrator Prentiss Brown, Benedict further asserted that "I learned one important thing. If you go down there as an individual or as a representative of a small group they won't even listen to you. If you represent a large, well-organized body, you receive immediate justice!" A second mass meeting, to be held at the Manhattan Center on April 7th, will bring together representatives of all factions of the meat industry for further discussion.

(Those annoyed that Olsen & Johnson were pushed out of the Winter Garden in favor of Milton Berle should take comfort in the knowledge that he'll probably feature plenty of their material. Although I must admit I'd like to see him singing "Escamillo" in a zoot suit.)

("1001 Ways To Make Hash.")

(Warning to Mr. Thompson: there's French, and there's Quebec French. Don't get confused!)

The Bushwicks will open their 1943 season at Dexter Park on Sunday against the Lancaster Red Roses, with six new players in their lineup. Manager Joe Press feels that he's put together a team this year, built on power and speed, that will prove "quite a stumbling block" for the many outstanding road teams that pass thru the Woodhaven field.

Leo Durocher's side career as a radio comedian continues next Tuesday over WJZ when Lippy joins Ed "Archie" Gardner on "Duffy's Tavern." Then on Saturday April 10th, Leo will play it straight, talking baseball with Bill Stern on the WEAF Sports Newsreel.

(Code-switching, Brooklyn edition.)

(Point of order: if Scarlett's clothes also become invisible when she becomes invisible, why doesn't her car? Do only items touching her skin become invisible? If so, shouldn't the portions of her clothing that are in contact with her undergarments also be visible? I hate to be the one bringing it up, but this is the kind of thing that goes thru your head when you can't get to sleep at 2 AM.)

(No Sullivan Law in Louisiana!)

("HOLD KID, HERO DOG IN MEAT RACKET" "OK, NOW DO I GET PAID??")

("Ew!" sniffs Leona. "Chew some Sen-Sen!")