The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

And don't think you can cheat, Butch will be going door to door with a thermometer.

"There!" declares Miss Helen Hayes. "Let's see Katherine Cornell top THIS!"

"I notice that you have a dog. Where I come from we are forced to eat dogs to survive. This is a very good sandwich. May I have another?"

Well, they pay half a buck per mow.

Why don't you STUFF YOUR CHECKBOOK IN THE HOSE?

Snipe knows a lot of tricks.

"Hmm, nobody in this town but flood refugees. BUT THEY'LL LOVE A GOOD SHOW!"

"Yeah, this guerilla pirate queen I know says that a lot. Wait, I shouldn't have said that either, right?"

Still too much? Well, there's a doorknob, and for ten cents I'll sell you this piece of string.

My grandfather had hallucinations like this -- right before he died. Nice going, kids.

 

[Fading Fast]

(Ahhhhh Babs. They're not gonna put up with that stuff in the Heights, you know. Maybe she can get a job working in MacPhail's office.)
...

Exactly, which one is the lucky county that gets her and hopefully they have a big repair budget.

...

A bronze plaque in memory of Sara Delano Roosevelt, mother of the President was removed from a 37-foot flagpole in the park bearing her name, by order of Parks Commissioner Robert Moses, who declared that the plaque had not received the required approval from the Municipal Art Commission. Police patrolmen pried the plaque off its base just minutes before the dedication ceremonies for the monument were to begin. Chairman Harry H. Schlacht of the Roosevelt Memorial Park dedicatory committee attempted to "abash the policemen" from completing their task by flourishing a letter from the President congratulating the city on the new park. As police carried the plaque away, rain began, washing out the rest of the ceremonies.
...

There can be no smaller or self-righteous mind than that of the bureaucrat enforcing a petty ordinance of the regulatory state.

...

(With all these guys going in the service, why not offer him a contract?)
...

Normally, I'd say he first has to get into shape, but that looks about like the shape Ruth was in when he was playing.

...

("Deer Mary Worth Writer: I want to remine you again that I am abul and willin to work, efectiv immidiately. I think I wud be a good worker in your comic, because I would make Bill Biff look like he is smart. We could be a team like Abbit and Costella. Let me har from you soon. Gallopin gold Fish, Detectif Irwin Higgs.")
...

"Enclosed, please find one resoomay."

...

(Starring role, name in the title, all the meals he can eat. It pays to have a good agent.)

"Call my agent, NOW!"

Crew
"What is Sandy barking about? He's such a fussy dog."
"Just scratch behind his ears and he'll settle down."

...

"I notice that you have a dog. Where I come from we are forced to eat dogs to survive. This is a very good sandwich. May I have another?"
...

"Can this day get any worse!"

Crew
"What's he fussing about now?"
"He does bark a lot."

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Jeez, way to take all the drama out of the convention -- I was really looking forward to an old-fashioned knock-down-drag-out. But I do look forward to Parrott's perspective.

U. S. Army bombers set fire to a large enemy merchant ship in an attack on an Axis Mediterranean convoy, and hammered the important Axis base of Matrah in a night bombardment, it was reported today. In London, the Admiralty reported that British submarines have sunk from four to six Axis supply ships in torpedo attacks off the Norwegian coast, and in the Mediterranean.

The Soviet press today commented in a relatively subdued manner on the Churchill-Stalin conference in Moscow, while continuing to give prominence to dispatches, especially those from London, calling for the opening of a second front. There was, however, considerably less enthusiasm today in the wake of the conference between Stalin, Churchill, and American representative W. Averill Harriman than there was after the recent formalization of the Anglo-Soviet Alliance, which was seen by the Soviet people as heralding the imminence of a second front. The Communist Party newspaper Pravda summed up official reaction by stating "the successful results of the negotiations constitute a great political defeat for Hitlerite Germany," while the official government paper Izvestia pointed out that the Red Army continues to carry the greatest burden as the war enters its "decisive phase."

The Office of Price Administration is considering a three-point program intended to hold off meat rationing, in the face of increasing distribution issues. With regional meat shortages already pressing, OPA officials warned that any plan to forestall consumer rationing depends on the Agriculture Department reversing its opposition to ceiling prices on livestock. The OPA program would add strict controls of all "on the hoof" livestock to the controls already in place on processed meat, would establish Federal allocations for meat on a nationwide basis, and would impose a "general readjustment" of retail meat prices, intended to level out regional inequalities while maintaining the present general levels. Wilbur LaRoe, Jr, the general counsel for the emergency conference of meat packers declared that the Government's failure so far to impose ceiling prices across the meat industry is as much responsible for current shortages as increased military demands and the requirements of Lend-Lease aid to the Allies.

(Hiya, Mr. Farley!)

Open warfare between the Brooklyn National League Baseball Club, Inc. and ticket brokers will come to a showdown tomorrow in Bronx Supreme Court, when club president Larry MacPhail will be required to show cause why the club should refuse to honor tickets to games at Ebbets Field sold by Bronx ticket broker Beverly Mandell. Miss Mandell, who has held a state license as a ticket broker for the past five years, argues that her clientele includes persons who purchase blocks of tickets for various events over the course of the season, and that the team's refusal to accept brokered tickets constitutes a breach of contract, since she is in compliance with the statement printed on each ticket limiting resale price to no more than 75 cents over face value. Miss Mandell also charges that the club's refusal to accept tickets she has resold has damaged her reputation and good will. MacPhail issued an order June 16th prohibiting the use of brokered tickets at Dodger games, and posted large billboards outside Ebbets Field stating this policy. Miss Mandell further accused MacPhail of "letting the fan down" by setting aside tickets for "hot games" before the season, for sale under a plan priced beyond the reach of the average buyer, leaving only undesirable seats to these games for "the less affluent fan."

(I've been to political conventions, and "sweet and sophisticated" is not an aroma that permeates the atmosphere.)

("GREATLY OVEHRATED?" snorts Sally, a proud ALP voter. "We'll show ya greatly ovehrated!" "Bennett's got it in the bag," laughs Joe. "Why, downa canny stoeh, t'ey givin t'oiteen t'five on Bennett! I can't lose!" "What?" snaps back Sally. "Nut'n," murmurs Joe.)

("Mikado Rubber Company?" C'mon, everybody knows they only make pencils.)

Patriotic males wishing to do their part for their country should present themselves at Rockville Center on August 25th where they will be entitled to kiss Joan Crawford for the price of a war bond. The screen star will be guest of honor at the Rockville Center War Bond Day Block Party.

The "singing telegram" will be discontinued for the duration by Western Union and the Postal Telegraph Company, along with all other fixed-rate special message services, for the duration under new wartime restrictions adopted by the Federal Communications Commission. The novelty greetings, popularized several years ago, are being crowded out by increased demands on telegraph lines for official communication.

(Pitching is not what it should be, and the lead is down to 7 1/2 games with a month and a half to go. Hey Larry, send a scout to that Yankee thing and see if Walter Johnson has anything on the ball. Whattaya got to lose?)

A nineteen-year-old former star of the James Madison High School baseball team has signed a minor-league contract with the Dodgers. Cal Abrams, a fast and rangy outfielder with a powerful throwing arm, will report immediately to the Olean, New York club in the Class-D Pony League. He is 6-feet-one-inch tall, weighs 175 pounds, and bats and throws left handed. Since his graduation from Madison this year, Abrams has played with the semi-pro Dodger Rookies team.

(Yeah, this tactic only works if you really *are* Pat Ryan.)

(And since this isn't 1932, it probably isn't booze, either.)

("Huh!" snort the marketing executives of Parmalee System and Checker Cab. "Where do THEY rate a plug?")

(Poor Bo DOES look kinda skinny. No wonder he wants handouts.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

I can't believe they didn't save the moustache in an envelope and auction it off for war bonds.

It's harder to stop complaining than it is just not to start.

Makes you wonder how she came up with "Sandy."

That's the way, remember. You beat it AFTER you get rid of them.

"Look, stupid -- just pull over and let's get to it."

Yeah, they usually do evacuate the town WHEN THERE'S A FLOOD.

"And if a big guy with black curly hair shows up, someone will tell me, right?"

I'm sure that's very reassuring.

You really ought to enlist, son. The saltpeter would do you a world of good.

 

[Fading Fast]

...

The Soviet press today commented in a relatively subdued manner on the Churchill-Stalin conference in Moscow, while continuing to give prominence to dispatches, especially those from London, calling for the opening of a second front. There was, however, considerably less enthusiasm today in the wake of the conference between Stalin, Churchill, and American representative W. Averill Harriman than there was after the recent formalization of the Anglo-Soviet Alliance, which was seen by the Soviet people as heralding the imminence of a second front. The Communist Party newspaper Pravda summed up official reaction by stating "the successful results of the negotiations constitute a great political defeat for Hitlerite Germany," while the official government paper Izvestia pointed out that the Red Army continues to carry the greatest burden as the war enters its "decisive phase."
...

"The Communist Party newspaper Pravda"
"the official government paper Izvestia"

Okay.

...

The Office of Price Administration is considering a three-point program intended to hold off meat rationing, in the face of increasing distribution issues. With regional meat shortages already pressing, OPA officials warned that any plan to forestall consumer rationing depends on the Agriculture Department reversing its opposition to ceiling prices on livestock. The OPA program would add strict controls of all "on the hoof" livestock to the controls already in place on processed meat, would establish Federal allocations for meat on a nationwide basis, and would impose a "general readjustment" of retail meat prices, intended to level out regional inequalities while maintaining the present general levels. Wilbur LaRoe, Jr, the general counsel for the emergency conference of meat packers declared that the Government's failure so far to impose ceiling prices across the meat industry is as much responsible for current shortages as increased military demands and the requirements of Lend-Lease aid to the Allies.
...

Open warfare between the Brooklyn National League Baseball Club, Inc. and ticket brokers will come to a showdown tomorrow in Bronx Supreme Court, when club president Larry MacPhail will be required to show cause why the club should refuse to honor tickets to games at Ebbets Field sold by Bronx ticket broker Beverly Mandell. Miss Mandell, who has held a state license as a ticket broker for the past five years, argues that her clientele includes persons who purchase blocks of tickets for various events over the course of the season, and that the team's refusal to accept brokered tickets constitutes a breach of contract, since she is in compliance with the statement printed on each ticket limiting resale price to no more than 75 cents over face value. Miss Mandell also charges that the club's refusal to accept tickets she has resold has damaged her reputation and good will. MacPhail issued an order June 16th prohibiting the use of brokered tickets at Dodger games, and posted large billboards outside Ebbets Field stating this policy. Miss Mandell further accused MacPhail of "letting the fan down" by setting aside tickets for "hot games" before the season, for sale under a plan priced beyond the reach of the average buyer, leaving only undesirable seats to these games for "the less affluent fan."
...

Be it baseball tickets or meat, when you restrict the free market for good, bad, legal or illegal reasons, willing buyers and willing sellers will still try to find a way to meet at a mutually acceptable price.

...

(I've been to political conventions, and "sweet and sophisticated" is not an aroma that permeates the atmosphere.)
...

I'm guessing a "sweet and sophisticated" aroma is what some delegates are looking for in their hotel rooms after the day's hard work of conventioning is over. Is that Senga I see shopping at the perfume counter at Martins?

...

("GREATLY OVEHRATED?" snorts Sally, a proud ALP voter. "We'll show ya greatly ovehrated!" "Bennett's got it in the bag," laughs Joe. "Why, downa canny stoeh, t'ey givin t'oiteen t'five on Bennett! I can't lose!" "What?" snaps back Sally. "Nut'n," murmurs Joe.)
...

I used to think Joe didn't know when to keep his mouth shut, but watching his game for awhile now, I believe he is the master of the intentional slip and pull back.

...

Patriotic males wishing to do their part for their country should present themselves at Rockville Center on August 25th where they will be entitled to kiss Joan Crawford for the price of a war bond. The screen star will be guest of honor at the Rockville Center War Bond Day Block Party.
...

I'm not shy and would want to do my part, but Crawford scares me, is Carol Landis or Rogers available? Heck, if O'Sullivan isn't off filming a Tarzan sequel, I'd pony up for a bond or two for her.

...

(Pitching is not what it should be, and the lead is down to 7 1/2 games with a month and a half to go. Hey Larry, send a scout to that Yankee thing and see if Walter Johnson has anything on the ball. Whattaya got to lose?)
...

And in 2022, the Yankees once formidable lead has slipped to only 10 games and looks wobbly. Be it 1942 or 2022, baseball season is just one long worry no matter what is happening to your team. Right now, my '42 and '22 teams are ahead and I feel nothing but anxiety.

...

(Yeah, this tactic only works if you really *are* Pat Ryan.)
...

Dan is the '42 comic strip version of all those idiot guys who, in the early '80s, were dressing like Don Johnson from "Miami Vice" in New Jersey bars. A pastel linen suit and T-shirt maybe, just maybe, looked okay in Miami, but in blue-collar NJ, it looked ridiculous.

...

("Huh!" snort the marketing executives of Parmalee System and Checker Cab. "Where do THEY rate a plug?")
...

Any chance it is an early marketing agreement and The Yellow Cab Co. actually paid for that placement?

 

[LizzieMaine]

I'd think a company as big as Yellow Cab could afford product placement in, you know, a good strip.

I'm really disappointed in what "Dan Dunn" has become since Marsh went into the service. It was often batspit crazy, but there was earnestness to the crazy that made it entertaining, and the odd art was the seasoning that made it even better. Dan is better looking now, but he's no longer as joyously stupid as he was when Marsh was writing his dialog, and that's a real loss. And will we *ever* see Kay again?

As for our boy Joe, he does have a bit of the troll in him, and over the years of his marriage he's learned just how far up to the line he can step. He's not going to be subscribing to the Journal-American just to read Dorothy Kilgallen anytime soon, but he might "just happen" to find a copy on the train. I think that deep down Sally knows what's going on, and plays along with it up to a point. UP TO A POINT.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Not quite the Second Front, but at least it's something. And gee, I wonder who Mr. Schroth will vote for.)

Nine seamen landed at an East Coast port today after an incredible 48 days adrift on a raft. Their ship, identified as a Norwegian merchantman, was torpedoed in late June, with 13 members of the crew of 44 lost. Twenty-two others, including the captain, made land in lifeboats some time ago, but nine last seen struggling over the waves on two flimsy 6 x 9 foot liferafts lashed together, were given up for lost. But they weren't. They survived roaring gales which swept some of them into the sea, and fed on fish and turtles caught with a safety pin and a piece of string. When they were finally picked up by a Norwegian freighter after seven weeks adrift, they were nearly a thousand miles from their starting point. Interviewed today at the Norwegian Shipping and Trade Mission in Manhattan, the men seemed sunburned but healthy, with only swollen feet and ankles to show for their ordeal.

American and Brazilian planes today joined in a campaign against Axis submarines off the South American coast, attacking seven of the undersea raiders, sinking one and perhaps two, as Brazil was brought closer to an official declaration of war. Angry crowds in the streets of Rio de Janerio and other cities stoned German-owned shops and demanded vengeance against the Axis for the sinking of five Brazilian ships, with a total loss of life of over 670 persons.

President Roosevelt has ordered the Army to seize a munitions plant in Boston after its owners defied a War Labor Board order requiring that they sign a union-membership maintenance contract and establish an arbitration mechanism for their 650 employees. The S. A. Woods Machine Company manufactures munitions under a contract with the Army, and has refused four demands by the WLB that it comply with its orders.

Police have stepped up their search for the firebug responsible for a continuing wave of fires in Bedford-Stuyvesant and Bushwick, following yet another blaze, the ninth in the series, this morning in a three-story frame house at 609 Van Buren Street. The fire was reported at 2 AM in the apartment of tenant Roger Martin, and was quickly extinguished with only light damage. Police believe the firebug climbed to the top of the building's high stoop, lit a tightly wadded newspaper, and tossed the flaming paper in thru Martin's open front window. It set fire to the curtains, and ignited the wooden sill before spreading to other parts of the apartment. Three families evacuated the building before the blaze was out. Police from the Ralph Avenue station are heading the investigation.

("And you'll note that my garden is paved with plain old red bricks I found down in the railyard.")

The victim of the second shooting in 24 hours resulting from a police drive to end "mugging" in Harlem is in critical condition today at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital with a bullet wound to the stomach. Seventeen year old Albert Brooks, "a Negro," of 2177 8th Avenue, was shot early this morning by Patrolman Anthony F. Paduno in a dark tenement hallway at 74 W. 118th Street, into which Paduno and a partner, in plain clothes, had allowed themselves to be lured. According to Paduno, a second Negro youth, identified as 17-year-old John Lee of 1987 7th Avenue in Manhattan, had approached the disguised policemen and offered to take them to a place where they could "meet girls." Upon arriving at the 118th Street building, they were taken down the dark hallway where Lee and Brooks reportedly produced "push-button knives" with which they attempted to rob the two patrolmen. Paduno drew his revolver and shot Brooks in the stomach. Both youths will face charges of felonious assault. The incident occured less than a day after Patrolman John M. Bou shot and killed 32-year-old Joseph Fulton after the latter had fired two shots at him in a dark hallway at 132 W. 113th Street.

The War Manpower Commission will ask that the Army and Navy halt all voluntary enlistments, and turn full responsibility for the procurement of fighting men to Selective Service. Chairman Paul V. McNutt is also expected to accompany that request with a request that the minimum draft age be lowered from 20 to 18 years. It is believed that Mr. McNutt's request will be based on the belief that the Government, rather than the individual, is better able at this time to determine where any one man is best suited to serve the war effort.

(Why don't you take that stupid, ugly "Civic Virtue" statue while you're at it?)

(Because you know what they say about "all work and no play...")

("Ya lucky. My mother-in-law worked at Rock Island Arsenal in 1917!)

A total of 1363 motorists received summonses for violation of the Federal motor-vehicle tax stamp law in a roundup yesterday covering Brooklyn, Queens, and Nassau County. Deputy Internal Revenue Collectors, aided by local and state police, stopped and checked all vehicles at strategic arteries, and ticketed all drivers failing to display the required $5 stamp on their windshields. Violators will be required to appear at Federal Court in Manhattan on Friday morning with a valid tax stamp, or be sentenced to 30 days in jail, a fine of $25, or both.

("I thought you said there was nothing to your going in the Army." "Absolutely. There's nothing to it at all. I don't know where you reporters get these stories." "Turn your head and cough, Captain." "What? *cough* You see, nothing to it at all.")

(You're not a very good prowler, are you?)

(I dunno, it just seems to me that a truck loaded with glass jugs of gasoline out on the street in broad sunlight is sorta asking for trouble...)

("Wait, that's not how you draw a tree. Look, you need to put more branches and sort of differentiate the different group of leaves so that it has a sense of motion...")

("What a racket! Hey Sandy, enjoy your cheap canned 'dog food'!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Let me get this straight. The captain's wife who killed the colonel's daughter turned out to be...no, that's not it. The colonel's captain whose wife killed his daughter...no, that's not it either. Be patient, I'll get it.

"Hey, we don't have enough convention photos to fill out the page." "Who cares, just grab something off the slush pile there and send it down to the engravers. Who'll notice?"

"As you say..."

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

"Hah!" hahs Sally. "Hey Joe, gettaloada t'ese funny lookin' charactehs inna cawtoon. You eveh see anyt'ing like t'is inya life?" "Heh," chuckles Joe. "Lookat'at boid wit' no shoes on. Whassat he's eatin', a pickle? Hey, izzata Crown Deluxe Full Soueh? I wisht I hadda pickle. I'm goin' downa deli an' get some." "Yeah," nods Sally. "Putcha shoes on foist."

Wait'll Equity hears about THIS.

Nice to see Tula's doing her bit.

"I want a zoot suit -- with a reet pleat --"

Kid, you're gonna come to a sad, sad end.

"We don't have the slightest idea what we're doing, do we?"

 

[Fading Fast]

(Not quite the Second Front, but at least it's something. And gee, I wonder who Mr. Schroth will vote for.)
...

They changed the format of the cover page a bit, didn't they?

...

Nine seamen landed at an East Coast port today after an incredible 48 days adrift on a raft. Their ship, identified as a Norwegian merchantman, was torpedoed in late June, with 13 members of the crew of 44 lost. Twenty-two others, including the captain, made land in lifeboats some time ago, but nine last seen struggling over the waves on two flimsy 6 x 9 foot liferafts lashed together, were given up for lost. But they weren't. They survived roaring gales which swept some of them into the sea, and fed on fish and turtles caught with a safety pin and a piece of string. When they were finally picked up by a Norwegian freighter after seven weeks adrift, they were nearly a thousand miles from their starting point. Interviewed today at the Norwegian Shipping and Trade Mission in Manhattan, the men seemed sunburned but healthy, with only swollen feet and ankles to show for their ordeal.
...

"...and fed on fish and turtles caught with a safety pin and a piece of string"

Kudos to them. I wonder how they got water?

...

("What a racket! Hey Sandy, enjoy your cheap canned 'dog food'!")

Sandy: "Hi, Burt, it's your most valuable client, that stupid Bo is now trolling me."

Burt: "Sandy, baby, I told you, you're getting yourself worked up over nothing. It's a second-rate schlock strip. It will be gone inside of a year; meanwhile, you're in front of your public everyday in one of the country's most-successful strips."

Sandy: "Okay, but you know I could carry a strip of my own!"

Burt: "Of course you could and you will, but right now, we're building your recognition with the public - you're going to be even bigger this way."

Sandy: "Well, you know I don't care about the fame, it's the quality of the work that matters."

Burt: [sotto voce] "Oy Vey" [loudly] "Of course, I know you only care about doing meaningful work. Hey, gotta hop, that out-of-work turtle you sent to me is on the other line."

And in the Daily News...

Let me get this straight. The captain's wife who killed the colonel's daughter turned out to be...no, that's not it. The colonel's captain whose wife killed his daughter...no, that's not it either. Be patient, I'll get it.
...

I had trouble following both that story and the opera, well, soap-opera one. It's all the names and marriages - it gets confusing.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Struggle? Wasn't it supposed to be a shoo-in? But that said, the best thing Flynn could do for Mead is stay home.)

The Russians announced today that they have been forced further south of fallen Krasnodar by masses of German tanks and infantry passing dangerously close to Novorossisk, most important remaining Soviet naval base on the Black Sea. The Red Army's noon communique stressed, however, that Soviet troops are holding their positions on all other fronts, and reported the destruction of 52 more German tanks and the killing of another 8400 German troops, in addition to the elimination of an entire enemy column. The Russians withstood the massed German attack south of Krasnodar for nearly 24 hours before being forced back into a valley beyond, where ferocious fighting continues.

American Flying Fortresses from General Douglas MacArthur's forces, speeding to the aid of Marines in the Solomon Islands, have hammered Japanese naval forces northeast of the American beacheads, it was announced in a communique today. The attack achieved "unknown results," according to the statement, but all planes safely returned to their base.

A spick and span 1941 sedan threaded its way thru traffic in midtown Manhattan today, running on only three of its six cylinders, in a gasoline-conservation demonstration sponsored by the Sun Oil Company. The car, carrying six persons, showed all the indications of a return to Model T days as it vibrated along, laboring at low speeds, requiring frequent acceleration and gear shifting without any of the pep built into it. But, oil company officials stressed, the arrangement reduced gasoline consumption by the car by 20 percent. The alteration, it was stated, can be made to any six-cylinder car by a competent mechanic for $10 to $20.

(Well, the Democrats *did* lead the fight for Repeal.)

800,000 men in Selective Service class 1-B, suitable for limited military service, will be reclassified under an order abolishing that classification. Beginning in steps on September 1st, all men in that class will be reassigned either to 1-A, rendering them subject to immediate induction, or to class 4-F, deferring them indefinitely due to significant physical defects. The reclassification process is expected to be completed by January 1st, with local draft boards instructed to give "full consideration" to dependency status of 1-B registrants when reassigning their classifications. The abolition of the 1-B classification follows a Selective Service directive that married men, with or without dependents, will be drafted as the need arises, with some men in class 3-A already having been reclassified as 1-A and inducted.

In San Francisco, the Fourth Army and Western Defense Command announced today that the military exclusion order governing who may reside on the Pacific Coast has been expanded to permit the Army to remove any person, American citizen or not, who may be deemed "dangerous or potentially dangerous." Lt. General John DeWitt, head of the Western Defense Command, stated that a board of Army officers will be the sole judge who will be removed under the order, based on evidence presented to that board, and that in all cases affected persons will be given time to arrange their personal affairs before they are relocated to a "non military area." Those requiring assistance in that relocation will be provided it by the Army.

(Fun For The Delegates! Toomey's Grill, aka Toomey's Diner, a tiny little building two blocks from Ebbets Field, will live on as late as 2019, but has, alas, been replaced recently by an upscale establishment that, from the looks of it, is a lot less Fun.)

(Meanwhile the two gals in the back are saying MIGAWD, they made HIM an officer??)

A Rosedale man was hauled into Flushing Magistrate's Court on a charge of keeping game birds, but the defendant, Ludwig Wagonbauer of 139-44 232nd Street, pleaded not guilty, insisting that his thirteen golden pheasants are pets. Wagonbauer cited information from naturalist William Beebe and other scientists to support his claim, and the Health Department Inspector who served the summons acknowledged he was unable to respond to that claim. Magistrate Henry Soffer assigned Corporation Counsel the task of clearing up the question, and adjourned the case until September 24th.

(All right, Reiser is trying to switch-hit, that's great, anything for an edge, it couldn't possibly be because he's having visual disturbances from trying to play with a severe concussion or because his shoulder is messed up from hitting that wall, I mean, look at him RUN! Sigh.)

(Gawdawmighty. MacPhail's a megalomaniac, but he's OUR megalomaniac. And never mind the convention, I'm heading over to A&S for a pair of Commando Service Shoes.)

(And if there's one thing this guy knows about, it's cheese.)

(When Norman Marsh went in the service, Russell Stamm bought all his leftover plots.)

(How does Dan even talk with a jaw like that?)

("Such Crust!" snorts George Bungle. "Just because you're taking over my space doesn't mean you can help yourself to my catchphrase!" "That low hound," sniffs Jo. "That bold cur! Parading across the page as if he owns it!" "Well, it's not that," mutters George, "but you do think he might have, well, asked first.")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

An officer and a gentleman.

"Hah!" hahs Joe. "What a sap! Um, I'm goin' down right now an' buy a stamp!" "We ain' got a cawr," notes Sally, not looking up. "Oh yeah," replies Joe. "Bum!" summarizes Leonora.

"And besides, you're the one who didn't want to go to Schrafft's."

"Don't worry, General Auntie, I'll -- you know -- take care of any nosey people."

SPY CAPTURED OUTSIDE BASE. Suspect Babbles In Foreign Language: "OH MIN!"

Look, stupid, why not just shoot them and dump them overboard? Off, out, and easy.

"Ah, well then. I've been facing death since I was twelve, of course, and I guess I never really had time to learn the protocols."

C'mon, Snipe -- you're smarter than this. Yeah, you're thirty and the clock is ticking, but you're still smarter than this.

"Yeah, Rough-House and I used to live in this seaside town, until he got in a fight with this weird little sailor with funny arms. Just as well though, we got tired of havin' this other guy around always moochin' hamburgers."

Enter -- Lana?

 

[Fading Fast]

...

A spick and span 1941 sedan threaded its way thru traffic in midtown Manhattan today, running on only three of its six cylinders, in a gasoline-conservation demonstration sponsored by the Sun Oil Company. The car, carrying six persons, showed all the indications of a return to Model T days as it vibrated along, laboring at low speeds, requiring frequent acceleration and gear shifting without any of the pep built into it. But, oil company officials stressed, the arrangement reduced gasoline consumption by the car by 20 percent. The alteration, it was stated, can be made to any six-cylinder car by a competent mechanic for $10 to $20.
...

My girlfriend's 1995 4-cylinder, 4-speed Acura Integra ran that way without any alteration (steep hills were a challenge), but it did have the gas mileage to match.

...
(Fun For The Delegates! Toomey's Grill, aka Toomey's Diner, a tiny little building two blocks from Ebbets Field, will live on as late as 2019, but has, alas, been replaced recently by an upscale establishment that, from the looks of it, is a lot less Fun.)
...

I don't know if it was Covid that did Toomey's Grill in, but Covid did, sadly, take out a lot of very old New York businesses, like, most notably, the famous 21 Club, but also a lot of not-famous local joints that, of course, can never be replaced.

...

("Such Crust!" snorts George Bungle. "Just because you're taking over my space doesn't mean you can help yourself to my catchphrase!" "That low hound," sniffs Jo. "That bold cur! Parading across the page as if he owns it!" "Well, it's not that," mutters George, "but you do think he might have, well, asked first.")

Meanwhile, Oakdale just laments that he didn't get to the "free" house first.

And in the Daily News...

An officer and a gentleman.
...

Three wives, does that make him a trigamist? And he sounds like quite the catch, doesn't he? Yet he managed to convince three women to marry him. Good thing Snipe has Dr. Meager.

...

"Hah!" hahs Joe. "What a sap! Um, I'm goin' down right now an' buy a stamp!" "We ain' got a cawr," notes Sally, not looking up. "Oh yeah," replies Joe. "Bum!" summarizes Leonora.
...

This is a funny story, unless you swap the sexes of the participants.

...

Look, stupid, why not just shoot them and dump them overboard? Off, out, and easy.
...

Ditto leaving Tracy in the basement, just shoot 'em!

I refer us all once again to The Fedora Lounge Rulebook for Killing a TV, Movie or Comic-Strip Enemy, which states: "Always kill your enemy as fast as you can and, then, check carefully to make sure he or she is dead."

It isn't that hard, but nobody follows the rulebook.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(The idea of a Willkie-headed ALP ticket is not so surreal when you recall that Mayor LaGuardia ran in 1941 on, simultaneously, the Republican, ALP and Fusion tickets. Ah, New York politics.)

Defying intensive police effort to stop him, the Brookyln Firebug today set four more blazes in
the Bedford-Stuyvesant section, leaving his tell-tale burnt matches behind at the site of each fire. All of the latest fires were set in barrels of waste in cellars, one in the basement of a three-story house at 137 Patchen Avenue, and the other three in different parts of a basement at 185 Reid Avenue. The latest fires bring to twelve the total number attributed to the pyromaniac, who when caught will face homicide charges in the death of 65-year-old Maude Lamper, rooming house resident who suffered fatal burns in a fire last week at 517 Monroe Street.

U. S. Army Flying Fortress raids on German-occupied territory today emerged as a vital element of the Allied raid on Dieppe, and as a portent of early attacks on the French invasion coast. Official reports indicate that the Dieppe raid was far more than a simple Commando attack, with the British fleet firing hundreds of shells into key Nazi targets, while planes pounded ground troops with 261,000 pounds of high explosives and fragmentation bombs. An authorized informant stated that Commandos captured the race track at Dieppe and converted it into a landing field for the use of raider planes.

President Roosevelt today ordered the heads of all Government agencies and departments to immediately cease airing inter-departmental disputes in public, and to submit all disagreements to his office for personal consideration. In identical leaders distributed today to all department and agency chiefs, the President noted that OWI director Elmer Davis has reported to him that "publicized disputes between high officials" are creating confusion among the public and aiding the enemy. "The policy of the Government," declared the President, "shall be announced by me, as the responsible head thereof."

("A foehteen-room house," sighs Sally. "Wit' t'ree people in it. I ask ya." "T'ey prob'ly got a lotta relatives," replies Joe. "Wit' jus' t'ree rooms, see, y'ain'gotteh worry 'boutt'at.." "Well," interjects Sally as Leonora pulls down the box of empty cans and sends them scattering across the floor, "I could live wit' ano'teh room a'two. Y'know, like t'em houses on Midwood Street." "Yeah, wit' a shootin' gal'ry next door." "What?" "Nut'n.")

(When it takes a troll to get the job done, see Doc Brady!)

General Douglas MacArthur today awarded Soldiers' Medals to three Negro combat engineers today for rescuing a pilot whose plane had crashed in a New Guinea river. Privates Julius S. Franklin of Charleston, South Carolina, Harvey M. Crandle of Greenville, North Carolina, and James Scott of Montgomery, Alabama dived into the crocodile-infested water to pull out the pilot and bring him back to shore.

A 54-year-old New Jersey man wearing the uniform of an Army colonel faces Federal charges of impersonating an officer after writing a bad check for $150 at an Asbury Park hotel. Leroy Ellsworth Grooms told police he was the former commissioner of the Nevada State Sanitary Commission, and had "mailed in his application" for a colonel's commission, but admitted that he had not yet received it

(Tap-dancing at home plate? They must pack the dirt really hard. Meanwhile, "Rudy Vallee got a CPO rating in the Coast Guard -- which is lots higher than his Crossley rating." C'mon, is that nice?)

The Eagle Editorialist congratulates Jack Bennett for his nomination as the Democratic candidate for Governor, citing the work of James Farley and Kings County Democratic Chairman Frank Kelly as vital in keeping the votes of the Brooklyn delegation in line to ensure the victory. "We congratulate Jack Bennett on his success, and hope that the scars of the battle can be healed and the party ranks closed so as to make possible his triumphant election in the fall."

(It's funny because it's true.)

(And speaking of trolling, BILL TERRY AS PRESIDENT OF THE DODGERS? Don't be ridiculous. That's like making Durocher manager of the Giants.)

"Sugar Ray" Robinson is the heavy favorite to defeat "Cowboy Rube" Shank tonight at Madison Square Garden, with observers predicting a decisive victory for Robinson following his defeats of Henry Armstrong and Frankie Zivic. Robinson weighed in at 144 1/2 pounds today, with Shank edging him there at 146 3/4, but the extra weight is expected not to be a factor against the spectacular Harlem welter, who has won all 33 of his professional bouts, most of them by knockouts.

A decision was reserved today in Bronx Supreme Court in a ticket broker's lawsuit against the Brooklyn National League Baseball Club, Incorporated. Dodger Attorney Mark F. Hughes responded to charges by broker Mrs. Beverly Mandel of the Bronx that the club's refusal to accept brokered tickets at Ebbets Field had damaged her reputation and cost her goodwill by arguing that it is the Dodger club itself that has lost goodwill because of brokers cornering good seats to important games and reselling them at high markups. Hughes further noted that Mrs. Mandel had once held a license to sell Dodger tickets on McKeever Place, across from the ballpark, but that license has been revoked by the club. Responding to an argument from Mrs. Mandel's lawyer that "certain brokers" are allowed to call up the Dodger office and buy "all the tickets they want," Hughes stated that the club "does not knowingly" sell tickets to brokers.

(I once asked a locksmith about wax impressions of keys, and he laughed, saying that's just movie stuff. BUT HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT CHEESE.)

(Impressive left! Maybe Scarlet should fight Sugar Ray Robinson next.)

(Marlene Dietrich has just about had it with this gig.)

("One of you lead the way." Yeah, there's one like that in every group.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News.

All right, four people. And maybe they've got a bunch of dogs.

"Basil A. (Pat) Ryan?" You're not fooling anybody, bud.

Annie's got a boyfriend!

"Great, I get seasick."

Yes, people really do dress like this in 1942.

Just tell it all to the nice man in the white coat.

"Taffy, listen," sputters Terry, "if we run into a guy with one eyebrow saying 'Bless Bess' all the time, IGNORE HIM."

Oh my.

"Who's this fresh little punk? G'wan kid, before I push your face in."

Lillums! Or Downwind Jaxon in drag.

 

[Fading Fast]

(The idea of a Willkie-headed ALP ticket is not so surreal when you recall that Mayor LaGuardia ran in 1941 on, simultaneously, the Republican, ALP and Fusion tickets. Ah, New York politics.)
...

That LaGurardia could run on all those tickets just tells you how much of an insiders' game it really is. The one completely intolerable thing this year is Flynn - caught stealing red handed and was freed by the political machine anyway. It's worse today because NYC is a one-party town and one-party towns (of either party) become smugly corrupt owing to too much power and too little sunshine on what they are really doing.

Man, your family dynamic is really broken when you are pro-actively going to the police to have your son arrested for stealing and pawning clothes from your house or when you are stealing and pawning clothes from your parents' house.

...

Defying intensive police effort to stop him, the Brookyln Firebug today set four more blazes in
the Bedford-Stuyvesant section, leaving his tell-tale burnt matches behind at the site of each fire. All of the latest fires were set in barrels of waste in cellars, one in the basement of a three-story house at 137 Patchen Avenue, and the other three in different parts of a basement at 185 Reid Avenue. The latest fires bring to twelve the total number attributed to the pyromaniac, who when caught will face homicide charges in the death of 65-year-old Maude Lamper, rooming house resident who suffered fatal burns in a fire last week at 517 Monroe Street.
...

This should be a bigger story. What is amazing is that the police don't seem to have any, even a vague, description of the person. I assume they are following up each fire by intensely questioning neighbors. How haven't a few seen "a suspicious looking character" around just before the fire started that would give the police and the public some idea of what the person looks like?

...

President Roosevelt today ordered the heads of all Government agencies and departments to immediately cease airing inter-departmental disputes in public, and to submit all disagreements to his office for personal consideration. In identical leaders distributed today to all department and agency chiefs, the President noted that OWI director Elmer Davis has reported to him that "publicized disputes between high officials" are creating confusion among the public and aiding the enemy. "The policy of the Government," declared the President, "shall be announced by me, as the responsible head thereof."
...

So were the crops intentional arranged to be pointing to the airplane factories or not?

...

(When it takes a troll to get the job done, see Doc Brady!)
...

My opinion of Dr. Brady before today's column was that he's a jerk, it hasn't changed.

...

A decision was reserved today in Bronx Supreme Court in a ticket broker's lawsuit against the Brooklyn National League Baseball Club, Incorporated. Dodger Attorney Mark F. Hughes responded to charges by broker Mrs. Beverly Mandel of the Bronx that the club's refusal to accept brokered tickets at Ebbets Field had damaged her reputation and cost her goodwill by arguing that it is the Dodger club itself that has lost goodwill because of brokers cornering good seats to important games and reselling them at high markups. Hughes further noted that Mrs. Mandel had once held a license to sell Dodger tickets on McKeever Place, across from the ballpark, but that license has been revoked by the club. Responding to an argument from Mrs. Mandel's lawyer that "certain brokers" are allowed to call up the Dodger office and buy "all the tickets they want," Hughes stated that the club "does not knowingly" sell tickets to brokers.
...

This story is ripe for real investigative journalism. There is a lot of inside/dirty/possibly illegal dealing that has gone on for a long time that needs to come to light to explain what is really going one here. I'd bet nobody's hands, including the Dodgers, are clean. Perhaps the papers are shying away from this story because they don't want their sportswriters to be on the outs with Dodger management. Otherwise, it's hard to explain the nonchalant reporting of a huge scandal that is important to many of the papers' readers, i.e., ticket-buying Dodger fans.

...

(Marlene Dietrich has just about had it with this gig.)
...

It's shaping up to be a climatic battle scene, which is, despite the new writer, very Marsh like.

...


"Basil A. (Pat) Ryan?" You're not fooling anybody, bud.
...

As we noted recently, these multiple-partners divorce stories are confusing as heck and not helped at all by four-part names.

...

Oh my.
...

I used to think Snipe knew exactly what she was doing, but I'm beginning to believe she's just struggling to figure it out like the rest of us.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Maniatis threw the knife. It hit Hughes in the back, dropping him." Hemingway writes for the Eagle now?)

Legal proceedings were begun today in an attempt to save the jobs of 27 out of the forty teachers in New York City high schools who were scheduled to be dropped on August 31 under a resolution passed last month by the Board of Education to meet a budget deficit. Attorney Leonaard M. Walstein, representing the 27 teachers, served upon the Board an order signed by Brooklyn Supreme Court Justice Francis Hooley demanding that the Board show cause why those dismissals should not be revoked, and why the board should not be restrained from carrying out the resolution that it adopted. The group of teachers involved formerly taught in Teachers' Training Colleges under the jurisdiction of the Board of Education until those colleges were discontinued nine years ago and their staffs reassigned to city high schools. Their legal status as high school teachers was not challenged until this year. Attorney Walstein challenged the order on the grounds that teachers must be dismissed on reverse basis of seniority, and that all teachers facing dismissal are entitled to individual trials on specific charges.

A 29-year-old Boerum Hill woman is being held on $10,000 bail for the Grand Jury after her arraignment yesterday in Felony Court on charges of felonious assault. Miss Anna Kowal of 285 State Street is accused of throwing the contents of a can of lye in the face of 52-year-old Sam Nadbourne of Manhattan as they sat in a parked car at the corner of Manhattan Avenue and Frost Street on the night of March 2nd. Nadbourne stated that he was burned severely by the lye, and has lost the vision in his right eye.

(Mothers, don't let your sons grow up to be babyish Nazis.)

The $6,200,000,000 war revenue bill approved by the House of Representatives appeared headed for major revision today, along the lines recommended by Administration economists who believe that war taxes should absorb most of the individual income not required for bare essentials. Chairman Walter F. George (D-Georgia) of the Senate Finance Committee, which begins its major deliberations on the measure on Monday, stated that heavier income taxes are necessary "if we are serious about paying for the war and checking inflation." George's statement was nearly a complete reversal of remarks made by the Senator only a few days earlier, when he argued that the House proposals were "as steep as possible."

In Chicago, an eleven-year-old boy talked his way past Army sentries at the Air Corps Technical School and into the office of Colonel Alfred T. Lindeburg, commandant of the facility. The boy, freckle-faced Philip Van Reeth of Chicago, told the colonel that he had come to offer the Government his invention designed to "save the lives of hundreds of pilots." As explained by the boy from plans he pulled out of his pocket, the proposed device consists of a weighted plunger installed in the nose of each plane, attached by a cable to the control joystick in the cockpit. If a pilot loses consciousness, and the plane goes into a dive, the plunger will engage, pulling the joystick back toward the pilot's body, pulling the plane out of the dive and into a climb. The Colonel praised the boy for his patriotism in offering his idea to the government, but did not commit to its production.

("Craege Coyle?" That can't be right.)

(OK, I'm doing my part. Make with the luck already.)

In Hornell, New York, high school principal Edward Cooke has laid down an edict banning the wearing of slacks by girls, likening the apparel to "dresses worn by boys." Girls appearing in class in "masculine attire" will be sent home to change into dresses.

The Eagle Editorialist places the black mark on merchants who persist in complaining about blackout regulations. "The dimout regulations are not severe enough to cause hardship," he scolds. "They have been carefully tested to assure the minimum of inconvenience while protecting lives and cargoes at sea. Any violation of those regulations for selfish reasons or due to carelessness deserves sharp and immediate punishment, and if the measures already taken against violators along Flatbush Avenue do not bring immediate results, sterner steps should be taken. Cooperation of everyone in this is too vital to permit shilly-shallying with violators."

(Kid, you're already part of it!)

Bandleader Dick Robertson writes in to complain about Mayor LaGuardia's new restrictions on the use of hot water, noting that a musician's usual routine, which begins early in the evening and extends nearly to sunrise, would, under the Mayor's plan to shut off hot water overnight, make it impossible for working musicians to shave or shower or engage in other necessary activities.

(Well, with Joe Louis in the service, they had to do something to keep the Bum Of The Month Club open. Sorry "Cowboy Ruben." And it's too bad Larry had to stick to his guns on this -- the one thing that might get Dodger fans to skip a Giant doubleheader might be a chance to see Babe Ruth vs. Walter Johnson one last time, and for a good cause.)

("How do I know, maybe he went to the bathroom?")

("What's this jug marked 'Tetraethyl Lead?'" "Our water contains only the finest minerals.")

("Sigh," sighs Irwin Higgs, as he waits for room service to bring his corned beef sandwich while he listlessly tosses playing cards into his hat.)

(That's right, stand there and bicker. No wonder you got this crappy assignment.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"The ever-loving Captain." Well, that's one way to put it.

Ho ho ho.

Don't count on it, kid.

"Faiiiiiiiith an' begorrah!"

"Maybe you could give us some pointers..."

"Sooooo....anybody here know how to -- uh -- unwrap 'em?"

Oh, she'll be back.

The Boy From Marketing.

You might as well go for it, kids -- he's gonna be in the Army by Christmas.

 

[Fading Fast]

("Maniatis threw the knife. It hit Hughes in the back, dropping him." Hemingway writes for the Eagle now?)
...

Outstanding, Lizzie.

The amnesiac cop, jazzed up, could be a "Dan Dunn" or "Dick Tracy" story.

Somebody needs to have a talk with Marilyn Renner if she felt compelled enough to write and mail a letter to Australia about her frustrations. Maybe a vacation to a friend's farm would do the trick.

...

In Chicago, an eleven-year-old boy talked his way past Army sentries at the Air Corps Technical School and into the office of Colonel Alfred T. Lindeburg, commandant of the facility. The boy, freckle-faced Philip Van Reeth of Chicago, told the colonel that he had come to offer the Government his invention designed to "save the lives of hundreds of pilots." As explained by the boy from plans he pulled out of his pocket, the proposed device consists of a weighted plunger installed in the nose of each plane, attached by a cable to the control joystick in the cockpit. If a pilot loses consciousness, and the plane goes into a dive, the plunger will engage, pulling the joystick back toward the pilot's body, pulling the plane out of the dive and into a climb. The Colonel praised the boy for his patriotism in offering his idea to the government, but did not commit to its production.
...

"If you don't like this idea, I have a plan for a submarine-aircraft carrier I could show you."

[A young man pops his head in the office]"Excuse me sir, there's a woman here to see you?"

"Who's she and what does she want?"

"She says she's an actress and has an idea for coding messages sent electronically."

...

("Craege Coyle?" That can't be right.)
...

Unbelievable as it may seem, she appears to have chosen that name. That said, if she'd just flip the first and last names, it wouldn't be so bad.

And in the Daily News...

"The ever-loving Captain." Well, that's one way to put it.
...

When two actors like Michele Morgan and Billy Marshall announce their engagement, it would be helpful if they'd also announce the year they plan to get divorced so that we'd have a complete picture of the marriage right at the start.

...

"Maybe you could give us some pointers..."
...

If there was only one child psychiatrist available with only one opening in his/her appointment book, unbelievably, you'd have to recommend he/she see Driftwood ahead of Annie.

...

"Sooooo....anybody here know how to -- uh -- unwrap 'em?"
...

Even for "The Gumps" this storyline is spiraling a bit out of control. Where's the penguin and where is her egg?

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Frank Zank has seen too many Cagney pictures.)

U. S. Army Flying Fortresses, scoring one of the war's greatest victories over the German air force, shot down three enemy fighter planes and probably destroyed or damaged nine others in a battle against 20 to 25 planes yesterday over the North Sea, it was announced. All eleven Fortresses returned safely to their base after the 25-minute battle, although two were hit by enemy fire. One of the gunners reported that when they were hit, the German fighters, including the new Focke-Wulf 190s and the Messerschmitts, "peeled off like limp cabbage leaves" and plunged into the sea.

Fifteen Yugoslav guerilla planes inflicted "many casualties" on the Axis garrison and a column of German troops at Banja Luka, a Bosnian city 160 miles west of Belgrade, as it was reported today that a new wave of patriot activities in Western Europe followed the Allied raid on Dieppe. Reports from the secret headquarters of Yugoslav War Minister Gen. Draja Mikhailovich stated that more than 515 Axis troops were killed, wounded, or captured in the most recent attacks, including the entire Italian occupation staff of one town.

New disturbances are reported today in the Madras, Bengal, and United Provinces of India, as legal parties and political units in New Dehli met tonight to negotiate a formula for government that would have the support of all political and religious factions. Violence loosed by Mohandas K. Gandhi's campaign of "passive resistance" two weeks ago was claimed to be subsiding in yesterday's press dispatches, but today's papers from the interior reported that unrest continues there. Travelers reported difficulty maintaining order in interior villages, with three instances of arson reported. As negotiations continue, observers in New Dehli believe that any formula for a new government must include the granting of broad powers by the British, and the release of Gandhi, Pandit Jawaharal Nehru, and other All-India Congress leaders now imprisoned by the British. Upon release, Nehru, it is believed, would form a new government with himself as its head.

("Meh!" snorts Sally. "I tried t'em decal things. Couldn' get'm on straight." "Izzat what t'at was?" comments Joe. "I t'ought you sat onna wet road map." "What?" "Nut'n.")

NIne block parties to benefit Russian War Relief will be held around the borough Wednesday night from 6 to 10 PM. The parties will take place in Boro Park, Brownsville, Crown Heights, Flatbush, Brighton, Kings Highway, Sea Gate, Rockaway, and Williamsburgh, and will feature a traveling chorus group of 60 singers along with several troupes of dancers, and speakers. The series will kick off with a garden party this afternoon at 2pm at the home of Alexander Stoliaroff at Sheepshead Bay, with several Soviet sailors expected to attend.

The Eagle Editorialist endorses the recent decision by the Selective Service System to discontinue the 1-B classification, and draft men who have minor physical defects. "There are thousands of Army jobs that can be filled by men far from physically fit for combat duty," he observes. "To tie up the physically perfect in such posts is a waste of manpower which the new ruling will do much to remedy."

(Eight straight wins for the Cardinals? That can't last. Can it??? Meanwhile, Walker vs. Ott actually sounds pretty lame, but Medwick vs. Werber would be some real action.)

A new attendance record may be set at Yankee Stadium today with 85,000 people expected to see the Bambino face the Big Train one last time in a benefit exhibition for Army-Navy Relief between games of a Yankees-Senators doubleheader. Babe Ruth, age 48, and Walter Johnson, age 55, will be in uniform for their first batter-pitcher duel in fifteen years, with retired umpire Billy Evans back in blue to call the balls and strikes. "I've still got enough to get that guy out," says Johnson, once the game's greatest pitcher and now a lanky Maryland farmer. In fourteen years of pitching against Ruth, Johnson only yielded 10 home runs -- and was one of only a few American League hurlers not to contribute to the Babe's record 60 home run season in 1927. "He won't get a loud foul off me," Johnson grins.

Professional football makes its kickoff in the metropolitan area Friday at 6:45 as the Football Dodgers meet the Green Bay Packers at Ebbets Field. Reports from the training camp at Princeton finds new Dodger coach Mike Getto "well pleased" with the progress his squad has made during the pre-season. Although star quarterback Ace Parker is now in the service, Getto has many returning veterans on his team this year, including Bruiser Kinard back at tackle and Pug Mandera at fullback.

(And please note that Gen. the Hon. Sir Harold Rupert Leofric George Alexander is a real person and not a character in a Noel Coward patter song.)

"Arsenic and Old Lace," still rolling along at the Fulton Theatre, is now playing in three other countries, translated into Spanish and Swedish. The homicidal antics of the Brooklyn Brewsters are reported to be a particular success in Buenos Aries, where director John Reinhard has exactly reproduced every detail of the original production for local audiences.

Olsen and Johnson, starring as ever in "Sons of Fun" at the Winter Garden, this week celebrate their 27th anniversary as a comedy team. Their professional -- and personal -- relationships remain as strong as ever as their current show approaches its one-year anniversary, following the unprecedented three years-three months run of "Hellzapoppin." They attribute the success of their partnership to having long since realized that each of them has strong points, and there's no point in getting jealous over who gets the most laughs in any given performance. "All that matters," they say, "is that the audience is amused."

Not to be outdone, Bobby Clark celebrates his fortieth anniversary on the stage during Wednesday's performance of "Star and Garter." The loud man with the painted-on eyeglasses, the big cigar, and the wagging cane, who for years was partnered with the late Paul McCullough, says he's very happy with his present job working opposite Gypsy Rose Lee.

Favorite movie mug Allen Jenkins started his show business career, believe it or not, as a fifteen-year-old dancing chorus boy. Despite his dese-dem-and-dose screen persona, he is widely known in Hollywood as one of the film capital's "more cultured individuals."

Old Timer Cecil Johnson recalls the turn of the century days when Brooklyn barbershops echoed with song -- from real barbershop quartets, complete with big handlebar moustaches. These were real songs, he declares, not the songs of "meaningless jumble" that you hear people whistling now.

("Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the candy store to get down a real bet.")

( I can remember people throwing pennies at players from the bleachers, but it wasn't meant to be affectionate.)

(I auditioned for the part of Miss Brown myself, but they told me I wasn't the type. I ASK YA!)

(Honestly, I bet this happens a lot.)

(Little Sunny is going straight to hell someday. And gee Dan, hope there's no spokes in those rims.)

(And Balzac died at 51.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Look, the Pink Edition is going to press, and we need a headline for this Page Four thing." "What story? I thought we had Limpus today." "Bottom sixth, some filler item, I ain't even read it." "I don't care, put whatever you want. I'm waitin' to hear from my bookie. I wanna put ten dollars on Ruth to hit a home run at that thing at the Stadium." "Are you sure, because..." "JUS' SHADDUP AN' DO IT!"

Yeah, I can relate. I won't say in which way, but I can relate.

Ahhh, that's what you get for buying cheap lawn equipment.

"Always has a sunny smile! Now wouldn't it be worth your while! If you could be -- like Little Orphan Ann-ie!"

If there's one thing the funnies have taught us, it's that mooching is the whole point of having relatives. And incidentially, I'm sure that Kitty and Kayo will one day enjoy a long and happy marriage.

Yeah, stupid, didn't you read those big ads in the paper about long-distance calls???

I realize we have to park Normandie somewhere while the storyline moves on, but shouldn't they try and get Merrily out of the war zone altogether?

It runs in the family.

Judy's pretty good at it too.

It's Andy. He's heard that Chester is much better at show business than he is.