The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

I dunno, from the look on her face I'm not so sure Gypsy is entirely sold on the idea.

What apple tree?

It's hard to have a conversation with your throat cut.

Remember when Ed Wynn got booed off the stage at a camp show because all they wanted to see was chorus girls? I don't think a penguin's gonna count.

ALL RIGHT YOU YARDBIRDS LOOK ALIVE

"Me? Oh, I've been around a little..."

Must we? But I could really go for some deer jerky.

So we're talking $160 a month for a double room with meals? Emmy, you pirate, they could rent a whole house -- in FLATBUSH, yet -- for half that, and have enough left over to eat every day at Childs!

*sob*

 

[Fading Fast]

(WELL HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO MEET OUR EGG QUOTA IN THE DARK????)
...

"We'd like to attend the funeral."
"Stay in Bermuda with your wh*re wife, you abdicating embarrassment."
"I'll guess we'll just have a special service for George here."
"Good ideas [sotto voce] *sshole."
Hangs up.
"Well, are we going to the funeral or did your bother walk all over you again?"
"He wanted us to come but he said the security demands were too extensive to undertake on such short notice."
"I should never have married you, you spineless little - and I mean that in every sense of the word - man - and I don't mean that word."
Thinks to himself: "It was easier running a country."

...

(I've never really warmed to Abbott and Costello, but this film does have its moments. It would've been funnier, though, if they had Dorothy Lamour in it.)
...

I saw "The Magnificent Ambersons" twenty or so years ago and was so bored by it, I never saw it again. I'm thinking there has to be more to it, so it might be worth one more try.

...
("Ya awready inna AVWS anna Red Crawss, an' ya give blood twicet a'mont'," declares Joe. "An' now ya gonna set up onna roof an' spot planes?" "I know," shrugs Sally. "I been takin' it easy. Butt'at Russian gal shootin' t'ree hun'red Nazis is makin' me self-conscious. Hey, you know where I c'n sign up for gun-shootin' lessons?" "I dunno," deadpans Joe. "Rogehs Aveneh?")
...

"That Russian Girl" is making all of us self conscious. The story demanded a picture; hopefully, Page Four will come through.

...

Rose Louise Hovick, best-selling author and Broadway star you might better know as Gypsy Rose Lee, will marry Alexander Kirkland, Broadway actor, at her home in Highland Mills, N. Y. on Sunday midnight. Mr. Kirkland, age 41, has appeared in films and on Broadway, and is presently heard on the radio serial "Big Sister." Miss Hovick, currently appearing in "Star and Garter" at the Music Box Theatre, is said to be 28. It is her second marriage, but Mr. Kirkland's first.
...

It's hard to believe she's only 28.

My guess, had Lee been born into the Falkenburg family and had Jinx been born into Gypsy's - basically, had the babies Lee and Falkenburg been switched at birth - Falkenburg would be a famous burlesque dancer and novelist today and Lee would be about to battle it out for the women's single title at the national tennis championships. You make do in life with the start you're given.

...

(Behold das Herrenvolk.)
...

(Meanwhile, Irwin sits in his hotel room playing solitaire and is annoyed to realize that the six of clubs is missing from his deck.)
...

It's a bad day in comicstrip land for old lady German spies.

Irwin could be recovering from a heart attack - the cigar smoking, the pear-shaped body and the fatty diet makes him an ideal candidate.

And in the Daily New

s...


I dunno, from the look on her face I'm not so sure Gypsy is entirely sold on the idea.
...

Lizzie, is there a Randolph branch of your family?

...

*sob*

Jesus.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Chess, checkers, Chinese checkers, Carroms, and Camelot. It's obviously a CODED SPY MESSAGE. "C's" = Seas. 8 "c's" -- 8 attacks planned! Two place settings of a plate, a saucer, and a cup -- two convoys consisting of a battleship, a destroyer, and an escort. And the key to the time and latitudes of each attack must be encoded in the positions of the chessmen! Let's see -- a bishop, a rook, a king, a queen, and a pawn in the two closest rows. Point value of each piece would be 3, 5, 0, 9, and the 1 with the 3 and 5 the five east of the King position and the 9 and the 1 to the west. That's 35 degrees East and 91 degrees West. We can assume that the black pieces then encode the positions North and South. And the pieces in the middle of the board, two pawns and a knight -- it's a night attack, at 0200 hours! CALL THE WAR DEPARTMENT!)

President Roosevelt is today reported to be ready to issue an executive order that would stabilize all wages, as his top economic advisors are reportedly urging him to impose economic controls stricter even than anything considered during the early days of the New Deal. As conferences continue this week at the White House between the President and Judge Samuel Rosenman, who has been researching the problem of inflation for several weeks, economic experts are warning that the present system of ceiling prices may "break wide open" within the next 30 to 90 days unless something is done to control farm prices and wages. Presidential advisors are believed to have dismissed the idea of a flat system of wage controls in favor of a program to stabilize wages except for certain minor increases in very specific circumstances, and while the President has not revealed his own specific wishes in the matter, it is expected that the plan he will unveil on Labor Day will be a "country shaker."

The Treasury Department today faces a twice-delayed showdown with the Senate over the Administration's proposal to raise corporate income taxes in the pending revenue bill to 55 percent as a means of curbing wartime profiteering. Committee sentiment seems to be crystalizing in opposition to the Treasury plan despite its provisions for postwar tax rebates and special tax-free business reserves. Informed members of the Senate Finance Committee suggest that if any postwar credit plan is adopted to help tide business over during the period of reconversion to civilian production, it will be written into the bill without increasing the 45 percent tax rate already approved by the House.

Juvenile delinquency is reported up 45 percent in the metropolitan area since Pearl Harbor, according to a report issued this week by the Young Men's Vocational Foundation, in announcing a new fundraising campaign intended to bring in $25,000 for the continuation of its work finding jobs for delinquent youths between the ages of 16 and 21 upon their release from reformatories. Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt, in praising the Foundation's work, also noted in its report that delinquency is also increasing substantially in rural districts, "because of the restlessness of youth who love adventure and often translate it into trouble."

(That's a lot of fines on a spark plug polisher's salary.)

The city's Democratic forces are now lined up solidly behind Attorney General John Bennett's campaign for Governor, with the Bronx County Democratic Committee falling into line today following yesterday's endorsement of Mr. Bennett by Governor Herbert Lehman and Senator Robert Wagner. A vote by the Bronx committee last night during a meeting in the Bronx High School of Science cited Mr. Bennett's "unquestioned fitness" for the job, and purged all remaining traces of allegiance to Senator James Mead from the city's Democratic establishment.

("Aw, we otta go," says Joe, bouncing with enthusiasm. "T' Whip! T'Tilt-a-Whoil!" "On'y if you don' eat no hot dogs an' Coca-Cola," insists Sally. "How 'bout t'is," offers Joe. "We don' go onna Whip an' I get one hot dog an' a lemonade." "One hot dog, a lemonade, an' we go onna Shoot t' Chutes," counters Sally. "Done," declares Joe. "Now, 'bout 'Paris Nights..." "Hell an' Back," insists Sally. "Spook Street!" submits Joe. "Done," declares Sally, because they both knew what they wanted all along.)

A Syosset man faces a year in jail after he reneged on an agreement to join the Army rather than face a jail term for attempting to steal an automobile in Oyster Bay in July. 37-year-old William Kuycinski admitted yesterday before Acting Nassau County Judge L. Barron Hill that he became distracted by a bar and grill he encountered while on his way to the Army recruiting office, and failed to reach his intended destination. "If he can't pass a bar and grill," declared Judge Hill, "I don't think the Army would want him."

(A Pete Reiser sandwich -- you stack it up high and then you throw it hard against a concrete wall.)

The Eagle Editorialist praises the ingenuity of the man seen on a Flatbush subway car reading his paper by aid of a pencil flashlight. The problem of the subway dimout "offers wings to the imagination, and it is possible that the searchlight-fitted cap of the coal miner may become a necessary vogue for the underground traveller."

(Career soldier material.)

An 18-year-old Astoria youth faces third-degree assault charges after a car he was driving without a license jumped a curb and sheared off a pedestrian's leg. Le Roy Walker of 2518 12th Street was arrested last night after the accident at 31st Avenue and 12th Street that cut off 18-year-old Frank Falagaris's right leg at the knee. Falagaris is hospitalized in Long Island City in serious condition.

(IF SLAUGHTER HAD GONE IN THE ARMY LAST SPRING NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Ray "Sugar" Robinson, sensational Harlem welterweight, continued his ring dominance at Comiskey Park in Chicago last night by knocking out Tony Motisi in the first round of a scheduled 10-round bout. The victory marks Robinson's 124th consecutive ring triumph, and required only 2 minutes and 41 seconds. It was Robinson's second win in less than a week.

Last winter's trade that brought Arky Vaughan to Brooklyn from Pittsburgh in exchange for Pete Coscarart, Luke Hamlin, Babe Phelps, and Jimmy Wasdell had a purpose behind it besides filling the Dodger hole at third base -- insiders say Larry MacPhail planned all along to bolster the Bucs sufficently in the exchange that they would serve to run interference against the Cardinals. That strategy seems to have paid off, with the Pirates having beat St. Louis seven times so far this season with six games between the two clubs left to play.

("HAH!" exults Sally. "I TOL' YA! Petey's been WIT' US AWL ALOWNG!")

With Larry MacPhail expected to see overseas service when he goes into the Army after this season, the Gestapo, recalling Captain MacPhail's attempt to kidnap the Kaiser in the last war, would be well advised to increase its guard around Herr Hitler.

(Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?)

(You'd think you could smell something like that a mile away. They must have very impressive ventilation. CHECK WITH ALL HVAC COMPANIES!)

(DON"T BE A SAP, DAN -- oh, wait, too late...)

("I mean, the month's almost over and I haven't met my quota for breaking up crap games. Hey kid, are those dice in your pocket?")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Families can be very difficult." It's only the beginning, kid.

Derzhite ikh v polete! (or, "Keep 'em Flying!")

If Liudmilia can do it...

No, that's just an egg the soldiers threw. There'll be more of 'em!

"That's not it, Mother...it's -- oh, never mind."

If Nina ever gets bored with the farm, she needs to take over for Helen Worth.

This is why hoods should always pay attention in knot-tying class.

Well that didn't take long.

So what else is new?

Don't get any ideas, draft-bait.

 

[Fading Fast]

(Chess, checkers, Chinese checkers, Carroms, and Camelot. It's obviously a CODED SPY MESSAGE. "C's" = Seas. 8 "c's" -- 8 attacks planned! Two place settings of a plate, a saucer, and a cup -- two convoys consisting of a battleship, a destroyer, and an escort. And the key to the time and latitudes of each attack must be encoded in the positions of the chessmen! Let's see -- a bishop, a rook, a king, a queen, and a pawn in the two closest rows. Point value of each piece would be 3, 5, 0, 9, and the 1 with the 3 and 5 the five east of the King position and the 9 and the 1 to the west. That's 35 degrees East and 91 degrees West. We can assume that the black pieces then encode the positions North and South. And the pieces in the middle of the board, two pawns and a knight -- it's a night attack, at 0200 hours! CALL THE WAR DEPARTMENT!)
...

"I don't need this kind of abuse for trying to help my adopted country win the war. Maybe instead, I'll invent some useful-to-the-military technology."

...

(A Pete Reiser sandwich -- you stack it up high and then you throw it hard against a concrete wall.)
...

Not inaccurate, but harsh, Lizzie.

...

Last winter's trade that brought Arky Vaughan to Brooklyn from Pittsburgh in exchange for Pete Coscarart, Luke Hamlin, Babe Phelps, and Jimmy Wasdell had a purpose behind it besides filling the Dodger hole at third base -- insiders say Larry MacPhail planned all along to bolster the Bucs sufficently in the exchange that they would serve to run interference against the Cardinals. That strategy seems to have paid off, with the Pirates having beat St. Louis seven times so far this season with six games between the two clubs left to play.

("HAH!" exults Sally. "I TOL' YA! Petey's been WIT' US AWL ALOWNG!")
...

Joe looks down, sighs and slightly shakes his head from side to side.

And in the Daily News...

"Families can be very difficult." It's only the beginning, kid.
...

A divorcee and now a Jewess, change is coming, even to the Royals.

...

Derzhite ikh v polete! (or, "Keep 'em Flying!")
...

Page Four comes through with the pic.

...

"That's not it, Mother...it's -- oh, never mind."
...

"Not that wide, dear, it's only a thermometer."
"Oh, habit."

...

If Nina ever gets bored with the farm, she needs to take over for Helen Worth.
...

"Also, there was no way you two could get together as your wedding invitation would say, 'You are cordially invited to the marriage of Snip and Snipe'."

...

Well that didn't take long.
...

Terry should know better by now, he's not a newbie to the country.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("And besides, wouldn't you rather have them playing checkers than shooting craps?")

Brooklyn will launch the Treasury Department's next war bond drive at noon on Tuesday, with Borough Hall ceremonies planned to kick off the $100,000,000 statewide campaign. Simultaneous rallies will be held in each of the other four boroughs. Film star Charles Laughton is to be the guest of honor at a "million dollar breakfast" Tuesday morning at the home of Paramount Pictures executive Stanley Griffis, and about 3,500,000 foreign-born American citizens will participate in costume rallies displaying the national attire of each of the United Nations. This evening, a broadcast preview of the campaign over the Blue network of the NBC will present radio, stage, and screen stars in a marathon program running from 9 PM to 4 AM, heard locally over WJZ. That broadcast will open with a two-hour production called "I Pledge America," produced by and starring Orson Welles.

Milk distributors are threatening a large-scale cessation of deliveries on Tuesday to protest a "squeeze" between the higher prices being paid to farmers and the OPA ceilings on prices paid by consumers. Representatives of the Independent Milk Marketers, members of which handle approximately 35 percent of the city's fluid milk distribution, declared flatly that unless some action is taken by Federal authorities to aid them financially, they will "go out of business" Tuesday morning. Association members insist that the present regulations, which do not place a ceiling on the price paid to farmers, are costing them a loss of $750,000 per month.

("What?" they scoff in the back room of a certain Brownsville candy store. "No icepick?")

(Luidmila is only one.)

Reader Harold J. Fleming of Flushing writes in to say that, while he is not one to complain about public services, can not something be done about the ventilation in the underground terminal of the LIRR at Flatbush Avenue? Conditions there on hot, humid days are "simply abominable," anf "folks entering trains on hot days are forced to endure the heat and humidity for many minutes before the trains pull out." Spend a few thousand dollars, he recommends, to fix this -- and if necessary, the Public Service Commission should so order it.

("Gloris?")

A 64-year-old Bedford-Stuyvesant widow has been denied the restoration of electric service to her home after a Supreme Court justice ruled that discontinuation of that service by Brooklyn Edison Company was justified because the electric meter had been tampered with. Mrs. Margaret Osborne of 360A Gates Avenue told Justice Francis Hooley that Brooklyn Edison had cut her off after she disputed a charge by the utility of $657.19 in overdue payments covering a ten year period, arguing that the service charge for her 11-room house averaged only $1 a month during the summer and $1.25 in the winter. A Brooklyn Edison technician testified that he found evidence that the seal on the meter had been broken and a "jumper" used to bypass the mechanism. A test of the line with a kilowatt meter, he further testified, indicated that the house had used 583 kilowatt hours of electricity between April 20th and July 3rd, while the meter, for that same period, registered the use of only 33 kilowatt hours.

("I read one'a t'em books onna train t'oteh night," says Joe. "It ain' bad -- 'at Moses, he's quite a sluggeh. Awmos' like Batman." "We otta get one a' t'em books f' Leonora," says Sally. "I dunno," says Joe. "I had no idea t'eah was s'much rough stuff inna Bible, allat fightin' an' people gettin' kilt an' awt'at." "Huh," shrugs Sally. "Can't be wois'n 'Lit'l Owphan Annie.")

(LEAD DOWN TO FIVE GAMES. And if things are so desperate -- and they are -- that Leo is thinking about playing, then why not reactivate Fitz too? He's had three months rest, and he always could win the clutch games. From here on, ALL games are clutch games.)

The motion picture industry will observe September 15th as Carole Lombard Day, with picturegoers nationwide asked to buy an extra bond in memory of the screen star who gave her life during a bond-selling tour. Dozens of Hollywood's brightest stars will criss-cross the country in connection with the campaign, making personal appearances to encourage war bond purchases with a quota for the month of $1,000,000,000.

("And be prepared to give her TWO LUMPS.")

(Point of order: shouldn't the guy with one eye be called "Blinky?")

("But you can stop off at the first hot dog stand you see -- I'm hungry!")

(LOCAL POOCH BREAKS SPY RING -- PRESIDENT DECORATES #1 HERO DOG.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Hmph," says Lt. Morris of the Royal Army Pay Corps. "As if I'd want my daughter to marry into THAT lot!"

"Hmmm," says young Driftwood. "Perhaps not all my family is gone after all."

Better start paying attention, kid.

As opposed to the pleasant, reasonable Tiger Lilly?

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Never mind the cute byplay, Granny -- feed that poor skinny cat!

Not so fast kid, wait'll you see the movie.

Well, I guess he's better than Tops, maybe.

Most romantic married couple in the comics.

"So what about you? I imagine you'll be going in the Army any day now." "Um, sure is good you're here. Yeah. Sure is good you're here."

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

C'mon now, is that nice?

 

[Fading Fast]

("And besides, wouldn't you rather have them playing checkers than shooting craps?")
...

Assuming the eighty-one-year-old "woman physician" obtained her medical degree in her twenties or thirties, that means she graduated medical school in the late 1800s. How cool is that?

...

Brooklyn will launch the Treasury Department's next war bond drive at noon on Tuesday, with Borough Hall ceremonies planned to kick off the $100,000,000 statewide campaign. Simultaneous rallies will be held in each of the other four boroughs. Film star Charles Laughton is to be the guest of honor at a "million dollar breakfast" Tuesday morning at the home of Paramount Pictures executive Stanley Griffis, and about 3,500,000 foreign-born American citizens will participate in costume rallies displaying the national attire of each of the United Nations. This evening, a broadcast preview of the campaign over the Blue network of the NBC will present radio, stage, and screen stars in a marathon program running from 9 PM to 4 AM, heard locally over WJZ. That broadcast will open with a two-hour production called "I Pledge America," produced by and starring Orson Welles.
...

I doubt Charles Laughton would raise much money if he offered to kiss women buying large quantities of war bonds. Now, Cary Grant on the other hand.... (Sally might even cough up a few bucks for that one or is Grant's uber urbanity not her thing - she might be more of a John Garfield kinda girl?)

...

("What?" they scoff in the back room of a certain Brownsville candy store. "No icepick?")
...

Yet all Colonel Annie wears is a dress and she blew up an enemy submarine.

...
("I read one'a t'em books onna train t'oteh night," says Joe. "It ain' bad -- 'at Moses, he's quite a sluggeh. Awmos' like Batman." "We otta get one a' t'em books f' Leonora," says Sally. "I dunno," says Joe. "I had no idea t'eah was s'much rough stuff inna Bible, allat fightin' an' people gettin' kilt an' awt'at." "Huh," shrugs Sally. "Can't be wois'n 'Lit'l Owphan Annie.")
...

All true.

...

(LOCAL POOCH BREAKS SPY RING -- PRESIDENT DECORATES #1 HERO DOG.)

"Oh, come on! All he did was bark when he saw his owner, that's Dog 101. Was he part of a team that blew up a Nazi submarine?"
"What exactly was your contribution to that effort?"
"Shut up, I was in the boat."

And in the Daily News...

"Hmph," says Lt. Morris of the Royal Army Pay Corps. "As if I'd want my daughter to marry into THAT lot!"
...

Both families have the right to think (quoting from "Mrs. Miniver"), "It happens in the best of families."

...

As opposed to the pleasant, reasonable Tiger Lilly?
...

Considering that Tracy is one of the worst dads ever - he brought his kid into the middle of a ring of killers, literally - you might not want to rush that recovery effort, Junior.

...

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW
...

YAY!!!

...

Never mind the cute byplay, Granny -- feed that poor skinny cat!
...

"There was a Paris when you were a girl?"

Oh, and...

C'mon now, is that nice?

Disappointed but not surprised, by 1942, the dilettante amateur was a thing of the past.

I wouldn't mind a picture of her "equally beautiful, formful blonde" opponent. Where's Page Four when you need it?

 

[LizzieMaine]

Joe thinks he kinda looks like John Garfield, except maybe not so much in the muscles, but at least more than Pete Coscarart does.

 

[Fading Fast]

Joe thinks he kinda looks like John Garfield, except maybe not so much in the muscles, but at least more than Pete Coscarart does.

Good to see the Coscarart (that name does not spell itself) thing hasn't gotten under his skin.

 

[LizzieMaine]

"T'at guy," he sniffs. "Wittem high-class mannehs. 'Scuse me Lady' he says inna subway. But he still hit .129 lass yeeah!"

Joe would never say so out loud, but he thinks Dorothy Kilgallen is kinda cute.

 

[Fading Fast]

"T'at guy," he sniffs. "Wittem high-class mannehs. 'Scuse me Lady' he says inna subway. But he still hit .129 lass yeeah!"

Joe would never say so out loud, but he thinks Dorothy Kilgallen is kinda cute.

If Joe values his life, that is a thought he wants to keep very, very much to himself. You can find your girlfriend's girlfriends attractive and if you are not stupid or obnoxious about it, you can say it and your girlfriend will be fine, but if she has a nemesis, saying you think "that" girl is attractive - true or not - is a horrible move. We can talk all we want about honesty in a relationship - and for the big things, it is incredibly important - but there are small corners of a relationship where a strategic not-truth is the only way to go.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Mrs. Herrick is one of history's forgottens -- she started out as a divorcee with two kids, working in a shoe-polish factory, became a production supervisor for DuPont, quit to get a degree in economics, became executive director of the New York State Consumers League, wrote important studies on working conditions facing women employed in canneries, laundries, and candy factories, led the campaign for the New York minimum wage law, and became regional head of the NLRB -- all before the age of forty.)

Battle-hardened Australians and a few American service troops, hacking thru chest-deep mud and dense rain-soaked jungle, are tonight reported winning a key battle against Japanese invasion forces in the Milne Bay area of New Guinea, after Japanese air support was driven off by American bomber attacks. Japanese troops who spilled ashore under cover of darkness on Tuesday are now reported to have "melted into" the jungle along the 35-mile peninsula, 225 miles east of the great US base at Port Moseby. The latest communique from the headquarters of General Douglas MacArthur indicated that heavy fighting continues.

Reliable private reports tonight state that Finland, after 26 months of fighting for the Axis against Russia, is on the verge of starvation. The food shortages have become increasingly acute over the past three months, with the present bread ration consisting of five slices per person per day of sour, almost inedible gray loaf. Potatoes are reported to be practically unobtainable, and while there is a theoretical meat ration of one pound per month per person, in practicality meat is almost impossible to get. There are also grave shortages of clothing and shoes, especially for children. Under such circumstances it is believed that the Finns will be unable to further aid the Nazis by carrying out any further offensive action against Russia during the winter of cold and hunger that lies ahead.

The applications of 27 school teachers for an order requiring the Board of Education to reinstate them to their jobs were denied yesterday by Supreme Court Justice John McCrate. The teachers, whose jobs were eliminated as a budget conservation measure, contended that they had been hired nine years ago as instructors for teachers' training colleges which have since been discontinued, and were subsequently reassigned as high school teachers, and that as such they are fully entitled to both pay and pension rights.

(There's Always A Brooklyn Angle.)

The Eagle Editorialist salutes Soviet heroine Sr. Lt. Liudmila Pavilichenko, Red Army sniper whose sharpshooting skills have downed 309 Nazi officers and men on the Eastern Front. "Lieutenant Pavilichenko is living proof," he declares, "that when the going gets tough, women can take care of themselves even in fields which tradition has denied them." But he also expresses the hope that "American counterparts will not be necessary."

The Duke of Kent, younger brother of King George VI, was buried today in a simple wartime ceremony at St. George's Chapel, Windsor Castle. The King gently sprinkled earth into the grave as the coffin, bearing the Duke's red and gold personal standard, was lowered into a vault beneath the chapel. The Duke's widow, the former Princess Mariana of Greece, sunk to her knees as the King performed the final ritual. King Haakon of Norway, King George of Greece, King Peter of Yugoslavia, and Queen Wilhemina of the Netherlands, all monarchs in exile, also attended the funeral services. The Duke's other brother, the Duke of Windsor, attended a memorial service at the cathredral in Nassau, Bahamas. The Duke wore a navy admiral's uniform with a black mourning band, while his wife, the Duchess of Windsor, appeared dressed entirely in black.

Congressman Emanuel Cellar, one of New York's most prominent members of the House of Representatives, today endorsed Attorney General John Bennett for Governor. "I'm going to campaign for him," declared the Congressman in a statement to the Eagle, "and I'll do my damndest for his election." The Congressman also defended his own recent speech in the House of Representatives supporting President Roosevelt's right to take a position in state politics, and indicated that he gave that speech order to "stop the screechings" of certain prominent anti-New Dealers against the President for having endorsed Senator James Mead prior to the Democratic State Convention.

(HEY MORT COOPER WHY AREN"T YOU IN THE NAVY?)

(And let's all salute Mr. Henry J. Kaiser, proof positive that looking like a Lichty character need be no barrier to success.)

(Yep, definitely Raven's sister. Or mother, depending on when this is supposed to be taking place.)

("Um, if it please the General -- not so handsy?")

(Get up a petition for a recall vote?)

(*snif*)

(Yeah, and you'll still have to pay for the house call. And Irwin -- don't be so hasty there, after all you *do* need a new job...)

(Hey Jinx, ever consider taking up golf?)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"And on top of it all, they were really good kosher pickles!"

Aw, what about the tight-lipped old lady who wins every race and then vanishes into the crowd with her winnings. Hiya, Aunt Edie!

Watch out, Tracy! COMPETITION!

War Is Hell.

Next Week: Chester meets shady old Professor Marvel.

It's always best to leave no forwarding address.

It's nice that they let her dress for the occasion.

I'm sorry, but I really don't want to think about Goofy being as virile as a team of horses. I just don't.

That's one way to keep the kids busy.

That's a pretty keen garrote you've got there, kid. Let's all get one!

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

HEY JINX, TOP THIS!

 

[Fading Fast]

...

The Duke of Kent, younger brother of King George VI, was buried today in a simple wartime ceremony at St. George's Chapel, Windsor Castle. The King gently sprinkled earth into the grave as the coffin, bearing the Duke's red and gold personal standard, was lowered into a vault beneath the chapel. The Duke's widow, the former Princess Mariana of Greece, sunk to her knees as the King performed the final ritual. King Haakon of Norway, King George of Greece, King Peter of Yugoslavia, and Queen Wilhemina of the Netherlands, all monarchs in exile, also attended the funeral services. The Duke's other brother, the Duke of Windsor, attended a memorial service at the cathredral in Nassau, Bahamas. The Duke wore a navy admiral's uniform with a black mourning band, while his wife, the Duchess of Windsor, appeared dressed entirely in black.
...

Information in brackets added for clarification:

"The Duke's other brother, the Duke of Windsor [learning the meaning of the phrase 'familial retribution'], attended a [meaningless and embarrassing] memorial service at the cathredral in Nassau, Bahamas. The Duke [whose greatest contribution to humanity was saving another man from marrying his wife and starting a bunch of silly sartorial styles] wore a navy admiral's uniform with a black mourning band, while his wife , the Duchess of Windsor [the divorcee, Nazi sympathizer and cause of the abdication and exile], appeared dressed entirely in black."

...

(HEY MORT COOPER WHY AREN"T YOU IN THE NAVY?)
...

The once formidable leads of the 2022 Yankees and the 1942 Dodgers are now down to 7 and 4 games respectively.

Baseball, I am becoming convinced, is some evil genius' plan to ruin summer.

...

(Yep, definitely Raven's sister. Or mother, depending on when this is supposed to be taking place.)
...

To your point, "Red Ryder's" Raven doppleganger looks more 1940s than whatever time in the 1800s this is suppose to be.

...


(Get up a petition for a recall vote?)
...

"Invisible Scarlett" answers the never-asked-in-1942 question, why do we have whistleblower laws?

...

(*snif*)
...

Well done. Plus, Bushmiller squeezed in some comicstrip porn between the pro-war-effort message. And the dog is cute as all heck.


"I notice dog-faced Bo doesn't even warrant a strip on the all-important Sunday comicstrip page. Allow me to mention, 'Little Orphan Annie' is a seven-day-a-week strip. "
"Umm, 'dog-faced'?"
"Shut up!"

And in the Daily News...

"And on top of it all, they were really good kosher pickles!"
...

So much about fraternities and sororities seems petty, mean and stupid, but if you kill yourself because you think your high school sorority is going to blackball your sister, your suicide is about something much bigger going on in your life and your head than a sorority problem. Also, when did high schools even have sororities and fraternities?

...

Watch out, Tracy! COMPETITION!
...

If long-suffering Tess Trueheart gets dumped for Frizzletop, she will kill herself, especially if she sees Frizzletop.

...


War Is Hell.
...

I'm just old enough to have lived through the end of the era at work when some communication was done by hand-written notes - the hell of that usually was just trying to read your boss' handwriting.

One thing large companies and the military have in common is that both can kill you with process, procedure, rules, regs and paper (now electronic, but the same thing) documentation.

Oh, and...
...
HEY JINX, TOP THIS!

Probably the only time in history this phrase has been written, "If she isn't stripping or writing or reading proofs..."

 

[PrivateEye]

I'm constantly amazed at the frequency with which scantily clad women appear in the comics...but I'm not complaining...

 

[LizzieMaine]

("It's ABOUT TIME!" blasts Sally, her fist pounding the kitchen table. "T'em cops, wastin' time raidin' cawd games when t'eeahs a wawr on!" "T'at remines me," says Joe. "Y'heah f'm ya brutteh lately?"
"T'ey made 'im a cawrpr'l," declares Sally with not a little pride. "T'ey said he shows great promise as a leadeh of men." "Leadin'm 'rouna exehcise yawrd." "What?" "Nut'n.")

American forces in the Solomons are well-established on six islands, it is reported, and using air fields and seaplane bases captured from the Japanese, have shot down 111 Japanese planes, and have taken full control of the air over the Tulagi area. The latest air success came on Saturday, with two Japanese planes shot down in a pair of air raids. Earlier, according to a headquarters communique, land-based planes from Guadalcanal sank one large destroyer, probably sank another, and set a smaller one on fire.

The pay-as-you-go Federal tax plan, which would skip payment of taxes on 1941 incomes, was explained in detail yesterday in a radio broadcast by its originator Dr. Beardsley Ruml. Appearing on the "Wake Up America" program over station WJZ, Dr. Ruml, the chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York and the treasurer of R. H. Macy & Company told how he had overcome the objections the Treasury Department to "windfall" benefits from the plan to those persons whose 1941 incomes were substantially greater than the previous year by proposing that the tax on capital gains for 1941 not be cancelled, thus creating "a partial correction of the situation." According to Dr. Beardsley, the plan might be likened to Daylight Saving Time. With millions paying income taxes this year on money earned during 1941, taxpayers already owe an additional eight months for money earned so far in 1942. By "turning the tax clock ahead," Dr. Beardsley suggests, and collecting pay-as-you-go taxes now, for money earned now, the matter of taxation will be placed on a "permanent cash basis." Dr. Beardsley noted that those whose pay-as-you-go payments end up exceeding their total tax liability for 1942 would receive a rebate from the Government at the close of the tax year, but if they have still not paid enough to cover their debt, an additional payment will be required to bring the account into balance.

The Federal Trade Commission has charged the American Tobacco Company with illegal misrepresentation in the advertising of Lucky Strike and Pall Mall cigarettes. The complaints charge that Luckies are not "toasted," do not have twice as many exclusive smokers as all other brands among "independent tobacco experts," and are not "less irritating to the throat" than other brands, and that the tobacco used in their manufacture is not better than that used by competing brands. The complaints also charge that Pall Malls do not reduce finger stains, do not protect the throats of smokers, and that the smoke is not "filtered" due to the extra length of the cigarette in such a way as to reduce irritants. The company has 20 days to file a response to the charges. The FTC recently filed similar complaints against the manufacturers of Camel, Philip Morris, and Dunhill cigarettes.

Strict enforcement of the dimout regulations for automobile headlights will begin tonight, with the Police Department issuing citations to all violators. Speaking over station WNYC in his weekly "Talk To The People" broadcast, Mayor LaGuardia warned that trolley cars and buses are also subject to the dimout regulations. Under the rules, vehicles equipped with parking lights may use those lights only for nighttime illumination, while vehicles without parking lights, or which have parking lights integrated into the headlights, must mask the entire top half of each lamp, either with a mounted hood fixture, or by coating the top half of the lens of each lamp with opaque black paint.

(If they don't have a dancing mama and baby penguin, I for one will be sorely disappointed.)

The New York State Communist Party has nominated its state chairman Israel Amster as its candidate for Governor, but party officials say they are reserving the right to withdraw his candidacy should an arrangement be made by September 4th to instead endorse the slate of the American Labor Party. It was stated that such an agreeement would depend on the ALP's willingness to fully endorse a Second Front in Europe and a policy of full national unity for the defeat of both the Axis and the "Copperhead-Farley Forces now controlling the Democratic Party." Party secretary Earl Browder told the convention that "politics as usual" among the major parties is being "engineered by defeatists" in New York State, calling Republican nominee Thomas E. Dewey a "Hoover-influenced" choice, and Democratic nominee John Bennett "the favorite candidate of the advocates of a negotiated peace with Hitler." Browder denounced State Democratic Chairman James Farley, in particular, as "the hero of the Christian Front, the Coughlinites, and of the whole camp of the Fifth Column." Browder further declared that "only fools can propose a Socialist transition in the United States at this moment," and called "a fully centralized war economy" the "highest form of capitalism," which must be reached if victory is not to be postponed.

Dressed in black, with shoes and stockings to match, and grapes entwined in her hair, Gypsy Rose Lee was "visibly nervous" early today as she married actor-producer Alexander Kirkland at her country home in Highland Park. The marriage reconciled Miss Lee, queen of stripteasers, with her mother, Mrs. Rose Thompson, ending a period of "unfriendliness" that had resulted following Miss Lee's divorce from her first husband Robert Mizzy. The bride and groom both returned immediately to New York following the ceremony, with both due on stage tonight -- she as co-star of "Star and Garter" and he in a leading role in "Junior Miss."

(A Red Skelton baseball comedy with "Brooklyn" in the title? Hey Leo -- call your agent!)

("WE WANNA BE LIKE BO -- AMERICA'S #1 HERO DOG! WOOF!")

(War is Heck.)

A 42-year-old real estate broker from Flatbush was held yesterday for Special Sessions court after he appeared before Magistrate Charles Solomon in Brooklyn Weekend Court on a charge of third-degree assault after trying to run over a policeman with his car. Patrolman James Cameron of the Parkville station testified that he had "berated" motorist James Kelly of 135 Amersfort Place for "honking his horn steadily" while stopped at a red light at the intersection of Church and Coney Island Avenues, and stated that Kelly then backed up his car and deliberately drove it straight at him. "You can't do that to our policemen," reprimanded Magistrate Solomon as he paroled Kelly into the custody of his attorney pending a further court appearance.

(THREEEEEEEE GAAAAAAAAMES. Yes, Mr. MacPhail, by all means get Paul Derringer. Get DIZZY DEAN. Get ANYBODY. And meanwhile, why look, Reiser's gone back to Johns Hopkins. I WONDER WHAT THAT'S ALL ABOUT. AAAAAAUGH!)

(WOULD YOU LIKE TO -- JOIN HER?)

(Imagine how many contractors there are getting rich off the "secret underground room" business.)

(And just like that, Dan spiraled into a helpless, hopeless gambling addiction.)

("Your dog? Bo is ALL AMERICA'S DOG. Aren't ya boy?" "WOOF!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Aw, I'm just a little disappointed that the wedding didn't climax with Bobby Clark popping out of a trunk, but I guess you can't have everything.

"C'mon," enthuses Joe. "Y'otta sign up!" "Me?" replies Sally, sloshing a diaper in the pail. "Why not? Lookit t'at Jinx Falkenboig. Who eveh hoid'a her till she was Miss Rhiengol'? 'Magine, t'ree t'ousan' bucks, a trip t' Hollywood, an' ya face in ev'y windeh of eve'y saloon in Brooklyn." "Ya make it soun' so appealin'..."

Gee.

"Woo hoo, it's good eatin' tonight!"

There are still millions of unredeemed war stamps floating around, and the Treasury Department will still cash them in for face value. But you don't get a dive-bomber.

Serving troops get to send all mail FREE.

MANPOWER SHORTAGE DESPERATE. REPORT FOR IMMEDIATE INDUCTION. LOCAL DRAFT BOARD 348.

"I bring you a message from -- Hu Shee!" "Who? I forgot all about her!"

I wonder if Lil is any relation to Sam the Presser?

Beefcake!