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So trivial, yet it really ticks you off.

Tiki Tom

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,399
Location
Oahu, North Polynesia
Ugh. Greetings and departures are like a mine field. Europeans often do cheek kissing, but not always... sometimes both cheeks, but the Dutch do three kisses. Sometimes hand shakes... but after you've had a drink or a conversation with them, it then becomes kisses. Arriving at a party, you ideally go around and greet everyone, the same at departure. I'm always unsure who to kiss and how many times and I normally just try to follow along. I then come back to the states for vacation and find myself trying to kiss people on the cheeks and receiving horrified reactions. Oye!
 

2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
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Messages
12,734
Location
Northern California
The area I grew up in is very touchy-feely. As a woman, I still have to fight the urge to give a hug to anyone I've just met socially when we part. Also it's weird as heck to have friendships with people I don't hug on parting.

So I'd recommend avoiding at least the part of NY state I was raised in if you don't like hugs. Because people here hug... a lot.
Nothing wrong with hugging. Hugging makes for a happier and kinder world. We need more hugging.
:D
 

swanson_eyes

Practically Family
Messages
827
Location
Wisconsin
One of my blessings is that I no longer have to deal with all that. I pity the young man who nowadays wants to explore the possibility of --maybe-- you know, wanting to tentatively and delicately explore the possibility of --maybe, possibly-- ...oh, forget it. Romance is dead and buried. Creepy if you do, spineless if you don't. In this world of --justly so-- 50/50 division of everything, shouldn't the burden of "rejection" also be shared 50/50? Gals never pay compliments because they don't have to. Guys are creeps because ...9 times out of 10 if they pay a compliment (sincere or not), they are a "creep"; but one time out of ten, they are a hero. If they never venture a compliment, they are alone every Saturday night. Of course, there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything and there is no excuse for being a boor. And so the sad cycle continues. Equality in all things (except, of course, risking rejection. That's a man's job.) Fortunately, I guess, guys are idiots who are eternal optimists. Women might strongly disagree. On the other hand, sometimes an innocent compliment is sometimes just an innocent compliment. You can get in trouble for both noticing someones new hair style and NOT noticing her new hair style. Been there, done that.
All true and I apologize on behalf of my gender. We really don't know how to fix this. I personally don't take compliments well. :(

It is surely true that a person (let's narrow that down and call that person a heterosexual woman) might welcome the very words coming from a fellow she finds attractive that would be anything but welcome coming from a man she finds unappealing.
More truth. See above.
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
25,082
Location
London, UK
A lady very kindly and gently explained to me once that when you try to dismiss a compliment, you're actually dismissing the other person's opinion. I've been careful not to do that since, though for those of us who struggle somewhat with self-esteem issues, it's not always easy.
 

2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
I have no problems with compliments.
Makes me feel good whenever someone compliments my vintage bicycle I ride
daily or the ’46 pickup when I go cruising the back roads.

The best compliment from a woman regarding me personally and how I look,
was just the other day. My doctor.
She told me I was in great physical shape and wished some of her other patients
that can but won’t, do the same as far as staying active.



About the only time, a woman made a “sexy” remark towards me was
at work.
I was in a swimming competition at my television station with other stations.
It was a benefit at SeaWorld to raise money for orphan children.

The elastic band on my “wallymart” swim trunks didn’t hold up
as I was getting out of the pool.
My shorts slipped down, showing my “cheeks”.

The event was being taped. When I heard the laughter,
I laid down on the wet cement and wanted to die,
wishing I was somewhere else.

Later at the studio the reporters were looking at the video,
poking fun at me.
My boss removed the video and said there was nothing wrong with
having “buns of steel” and winked at me.

She and I go back a long time and she made me feel better.
I took it as a compliment.:cool:
 
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2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
Jake, today at the pharmacy my skirt fell to the floor. No one noticed but probably the security guy if he happened to see it on camera. I'm still embarrassed. Life and wardrobe malfunctions happen, I suppose.

Swanson_eyes.
It’s easy for someone to tell you. It’s ok, or, it’s no big deal.
But it’s different when it happens to them.
And I can understand how you still feel about it.
It’s not funny and I’m sorry it happened to you.
Hoping that tomorrow you’ll feel better.
If it’s of any assurance, perhaps it’s not on camera.
 
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sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
One of the women I work with was teaching a class full of students when the elastic broke on her slip as the was crossing the room.

She apparently looked down at it, said, "huh," and stepped out of it. She picked it up, walked over to the trash can, threw it in, and then went right on teaching.

Her students thought she was fantastic.
 

2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
One of the women I work with was teaching a class full of students when the elastic broke on her slip as the was crossing the room.

She apparently looked down at it, said, "huh," and stepped out of it. She picked it up, walked over to the trash can, threw it in, and then went right on teaching.

Her students thought she was fantastic.

She’s a cool lady. (no pun intended)

First thing that came to mind reading your reply was “cats”.
Polo slipped from the top of the icebox.
He wasn’t hurt at all, except it looked awkward for a moment.
He calmly went back as if nothing had happened and it was
a natural thing to do that.
 
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Hercule

Practically Family
Messages
953
Location
Western Reserve (Cleveland)
First thing that came to mind was “cats”.
Polo slipped from the top of the icebox.
He wasn’t hurt at all, except it looked awkward for a moment.
He calmly went back as if nothing had happened and it was
a natural thing to do that.

That is simply the best thing about cats. The stupidest, most embarassing thing could happen to them and they walk away owning the moment as if it were planned or didn't happen at all. I suppose we could all learn from that.


But you want embarrassing - My dad was particulary, um..., gassy, one day when he and my mom were shopping. As he told it he looked all around him in the aisle, an feeling assured that he was indeed alone he let it rip. Only to turn around to find a lady standing behind him. So there you have it, a classic measure twice and cut once lesson.
 

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