School Bully Targeting Trilby

[LizzieMaine]

There is such a thing as too much confidence, too. My younger brother was being harassed by a bully when he was in junior high, and he was sure he could handle him. He told the bully to meet him in the park one afternoon and they'd have it out. They both showed up, my brother put his fists up in approved Manly Art Of Self Defense fashion, and the other kid pulled a two-by-four out of his coat and beat my brother senseless.

Moral of the story -- sometimes the one who started it is going to finish it, whether your kid tries to stop him or not.

 

[Mr_D.]

I think what started out as a parent letting off steam to like minded people has opened up a can of worms. Whilst the systems we have in our schools are not perfect (and neither are individual teachers, we are all human), advocating violence as a first resort is not the answer.

I don't know anyone that has said to be violent as a first result. I know I have said this should be after the child has gone to the teachers and parents ect.

There is such a thing as too much confidence, too. My younger brother was being harassed by a bully when he was in junior high, and he was sure he could handle him. He told the bully to meet him in the park one afternoon and they'd have it out. They both showed up, my brother put his fists up in approved Manly Art Of Self Defense fashion, and the other kid pulled a two-by-four out of his coat and beat my brother senseless.

Moral of the story -- sometimes the one who started it is going to finish it, whether your kid tries to stop him or not.

That's why you have to TEACH them self defense. With proper teaching. he could have taken the 2x4 away and whooped the kids butt. On top of that you don't tell the bully you will meet them later to fight. you whoop his butt right then and there. Don't give him time to get a weapon or back up.

 

[Shangas]

They both showed up, my brother put his fists up in approved Manly Art Of Self Defense fashion, and the other kid pulled a two-by-four out of his coat and beat my brother senseless.

This is why I advocate the return of duelling. Flintlocks at dawn usually solved problems quick and easy.

Would you rather apologise, or face a lead ball in the chest from one of these things?

 

[Widebrim]

This is why I advocate the return of duelling. Flintlocks at dawn usually solved problems quick and easy.

Would you rather apologise, or face a lead ball in the chest from one of these things?

I would likely be quick to do the former, Shangas...

 

[Pompidou]

The important thing here is to be realistic. On one hand, most adults are woefully inept at solving bullying problems, and the results range from nothing tried, to nothing achieved, to problem made worse. At some level, the only one who can deal with the problem is going to be the victim of it. That said, the solution can't land the victim in jail. You can go on google and find yourself a handful of permanently debilitating strikes largely marketed to the single woman in a dark alley demographic - eye pokes, throat gouges, groin attacks - you name it. Considering such might give you spine tingles of badass confidence, but actually doing such is likely to land you with at least a lawsuit (that you'll likely lose), and maybe criminal penalties. I still believe that a relatively harmless old-fashioned fight (where the consequences don't extend past a black eye and a bloody nose) are, win or lose, the most effective ways to gain the respect of a bully, but I also believe the whole game changes when one side takes it too seriously/to a new level.

Synopsis: Get bullied, turn around, *whack*, tussle a bit, take your detention, and it should be over with when you come back the next day. Winning doesn't matter. All that matters is consistently standing up for yourself.

 

[Feraud]

On one hand, most adults are woefully inept at solving bullying problems, and the results range from nothing tried, to nothing achieved, to problem made worse.

Speak for yourself.
Realistically, there are plenty of adults who have successfully handle bullying problems. You never hear about these adults because they've successfully dealt with the problem and it didn't include throat punches, eye pokes, or lightsaber battles.

You guys with your one track solutions. Don't you all have a Fight Club to attend?

 

[Pompidou]

Speak for yourself.
Realistically, there are plenty of adults who have successfully handle bullying problems. You never hear about these adults because they've successfully dealt with the problem and it didn't include throat punches, eye pokes, or lightsaber battles.

You guys with your one track solutions. Don't you all have a Fight Club to attend?

Not allowed to talk about it.

 

[John in Covina]

Pay teenagers to bully the bully.

 

[Shangas]

Aren't those called 'bodyguards'?

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

This is why I advocate the return of duelling. Flintlocks at dawn usually solved problems quick and easy.

Would you rather apologise, or face a lead ball in the chest from one of these things?

"He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He puts one of yours in the hospital, you put one of his in the morgue. That's the Chicago way!" ...Sean Connery, The Untouchables

This is highly anecdotal but according to a friend of mine, he had the misfortune, when he was a kid, of being bullied by... shall we say, a very well-known child star*. This well-known child star lived in the same neighborhood as my friend's uncle. Whenever my friend used to visit he would play in the nearby park and he was harassed by this child star. When my friend told his uncle what happened, the uncle gave him a stick and told him the next time this kid gave him any trouble to beat the crap out of him -- which my friend did the next time the child star started to hassle him.


*As I myself can't substantiate the story, the well-known child star will remain nameless. And as a further disclaimer, considering the amount of debate generated on this thread concerning methods of bully-abatement this by no means should be taken as an endorsement for employing similar methods... (geesh, I should have been a lawyer!)

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Is it sad I saw body guard, and Whitney Houston's "And I will Always Love You" popped in my head?

Aren't those called 'bodyguards'?

 

[John in Covina]

Bullies and dictators have similar traits and rarely respond to diplomatic talks as you'd like them to.

 

[Carnage]

And I bet after, the bully wouldn't mess with him anymore would he?

What mess with him after he's been punched in the throat and has died?

Of course there are times when force will have to be used, and I will add that I always believe that the level of force that should be used should be the minimum that is needed, but if you think going round punching people in the throat is acceptable then you are wrong, especially if the offence is one of messing with someone's hat. What kind of message does that send out to people?

 

[Pompidou]

The important thing is that you're recognized for sticking up for yourself. Getting condemned for brutality isn't good for either side. Who knows? The kid might not even have to swing, but there might be a few punches or pushes - that's the extent of my argument for fighting as a solution. Don't be the little guy - that's what it comes down to. Just trying to distinguish my position again from the death strikes position.

 

[martinsantos]

Depends. A trully bodyguard is a guy tall, strong, is always thinking that the whole world hates his boss, like to show gun in the worst manner nd has no brains. Usually can't go home alone when is raining, because will be lost.

Aren't those called 'bodyguards'?

 

[Mr_D.]

Speak for yourself.
Realistically, there are plenty of adults who have successfully handle bullying problems. You never hear about these adults because they've successfully dealt with the problem and it didn't include throat punches, eye pokes, or lightsaber battles.

You guys with your one track solutions. Don't you all have a Fight Club to attend?

No, but the SELF DEFENSE class meets every Friday night.

I think that's where your misunderstanding. no one is saying the boy should just go around beating the crap out of bullies for no reason. Once again. Go to the teachers, the parents, ect. THEN if nothing is done. Defend yourself.


To those parents that "successfully handle bullying problems." Brovo to them. I honestly am glad they resolved the problem with no violence. Their little child can now grow up and become a 35 year old that runs to mommy or daddy every time the big bad co worker picks on them.

This is all called GROWING UP. Sit down and watch the movie 'A Christmas Story' There are a few scenes that will open your eyes.

 

[Feraud]

I am sorry you note contempt in solutions that do not involve violence.
Perhaps had you not been a victim of it all your school life (your words not mine) you would have a better perspective on handling these situations like adults do. They don't exclude options but are not bound to them by fear.

 

[Fletch]

Whoa. Hold on a minute, Enoch. There are several different schools of thought on this particular issue, but you seem to be redrawing it in black and white.

Do you know, for certain, that kids who get adult help resolving conflicts can't and don't learn how to do it for themselves as adults?

 

[Mr_D.]

I am sorry you note contempt in solutions that do not involve violence.
Perhaps had you not been a victim of it all your school life (your words not mine) you would have a better perspective on handling these situations like adults do. They don't exclude options but are not bound to them by fear.

I'm sorry you fail to see that the REAL world requires one to be able to stand up for them self.

Whoa. Hold on a minute, Enoch. There are several different schools of thought on this particular issue, but you seem to be redrawing it in black and white.

Do you know, for certain, that kids who get adult help resolving conflicts can't and don't learn how to do it for themselves as adults?

I was raised by a psychologist. I have also studied the field myself. There are countless studies on this very matter. When a child goes to an adult to get help resolving a situation, the adult needs to TEACH the child how to. This may involve the adult DOING it once or twice so the child may see how it's done, but in the end the adult needs to step back and let the child do it and learn. This could mean by teaching the child how to take someone to court and sue, or how to but up their fist and kick butt. It don't mater how you fight, just fight. I said DEFEND YOURSELF. Stick up for yourself. I never said it always had to be by throwing fist. Stop always running to someone else and expecting them to fight your battles.

So to answer your question. YES. I know, for certain, that kids who get adult help resolving conflicts can't and don't learn how to do it for themselves as adults when the adults don't TEACH the child how to do it. There are WAY too many people out there today that have life handed to them and when times get tough, they run to mommy and daddy for a bail out.

It IS as simple as black & white. Grow up and learn to defend yourself from the world. or Just get older but none the wiser and let the world kick your butt.

 

[Fletch]

One may find such people contemptible, but in the current discussion, isn't our contempt best saved for adults who allow the bullying to go on?