School Bully Targeting Trilby

[Mr_D.]

Teach your son to turn and punch the bully in the throat. problem solved. I was raised "You better not start anything, but you better finish it." I grew up being bullied ALL MY LIFE in school. I was afraid to fight back. I didn't want to get into trouble. In 9th grade, the straw snapped. A bully was pciking on me and actually spitting on me. I laid into him like a wild cat on fresh beef. I was never bullied again. Self defense is a lesson everyone should learn from an early age.

 

[Shangas]

Call the cops on the *bleep*ing school. I wouldn't put up with crap like that, and neither should you or your kids.

I also advocate Honda Enoch's approach most vocally. Learning self-defence, growing some plums and knowing how to stand up for yourself in school is also important.

I was bullied in school (not excessively, but it was enough to piss me off) and I soon learnt that the only way to stop it is to deal with it by myself. Bullying rarely affected me after that.

 

[W-D Forties]

Teach your son to turn and punch the bully in the throat. problem solved. I was raised "You better not start anything, but you better finish it." I grew up being bullied ALL MY LIFE in school. I was afraid to fight back. I didn't want to get into trouble. In 9th grade, the straw snapped. A bully was pciking on me and actually spitting on me. I laid into him like a wild cat on fresh beef. I was never bullied again. Self defense is a lesson everyone should learn from an early age.

I know where you are coming from, but that is just dangerous, out of proportion to the actual offence (messing with his hat, for goodness sake), and likely to get her son expelled permanently. I understand the temptation to 'sort it out' yourself and I would agree that a swift smack in the nose would be painfully effective, but a punch to the throat can kill.

Let's get this in proportion please.

 

[Feraud]

Well said W-D Forties.
Let's remember who the children are in these situations and not contribute to the problem by encouraging more violence in the situation.
I agree children should know how to defend themselves but the adults should have more to contribution than some b.s. Rambo posteuring.

 

[Carnage]

Teach your son to turn and punch the bully in the throat. problem solved.

That is a huge over reaction, as has been said, and not at all legal either. Punching someone in the throat is a potentially fatal move that would only be valid in the most extreme of circumstances (and by that I mean one in which your life, or the life of another is under threat). Indeed self defence is a lesson everyone should learn, and so is proportionality.

 

[Mr_D.]

I know where you are coming from, but that is just dangerous, out of proportion to the actual offence (messing with his hat, for goodness sake), and likely to get her son expelled permanently. I understand the temptation to 'sort it out' yourself and I would agree that a swift smack in the nose would be painfully effective, but a punch to the throat can kill.

Let's get this in proportion please.

This IS in proportion.It starts with messing with a hat. then when others see that boy won't stand up for himself. they will start pushing him, then hitting him, then spitting on him, then before you know it they are following him home from school and yank him off his bike and put a knife to his throat so they can steal his books (also happened to me in 6th grade). Her son has to put a stop to it NOW.

Well said W-D Forties.
Let's remember who the children are in these situations and not contribute to the problem by encouraging more violence in the situation.
I agree children should know how to defend themselves but the adults should have more to contribution than some b.s. Rambo posteuring.

Obviously the adults are not doing anything about it. if they were then this thread would not be here.

That is a huge over reaction, as has been said, and not at all legal either. Punching someone in the throat is a potentially fatal move...

And I bet after, the bully wouldn't mess with him anymore would he?

After you have been bullied all day every day for years and years and you have walked away, gone to the teachers, the principle and whoever else and no one will do anything. then it's time to stand up and take maters int your own hands.

 

[fluteplayer07]

School administration. Our tax dollars at work.

 

[Feraud]

Obviously the adults are not doing anything about it. if they were then this thread would not be here.

Maybe you missed the update on page 2?

RESULT!!!! I have just spoken to my son's new teacher, who besides being worth his weight in gold, IS A FEDORA FANCIER!!!!

It turns out that it was a lone teacher, the one whom my son had gone to when he was knocked to the ground during playtime, who had told him to simply stop wearing his hat. My son's teacher thinks Dylan's hat is wonderful and "such a natty dresser should be encouraged, after all there are far too many children who don't know how to look smart". He's also determined that one child-bully's behaviour should not be allowed to determine school policy on uniform or anything else for that matter.

It is wonderful to know that at least Dylan's teacher is on-side but of course, actually solving the problem is another matter. Apparently this child is 'troublesome' and has been unpleasant to a great many of the other children but the parents refuse to believe it's their darling angel's doing and the school is struggling with their hands tied.

Thank you to everyone for their kind words of support. :love:

Apparently those who read Geiamama's reply from page 2 and suggested violence towards the other child doesn't know a solution when they read it?
Interesting...

 

[scottyrocks]

I know where you are coming from, but that is just dangerous, out of proportion to the actual offence (messing with his hat, for goodness sake), and likely to get her son expelled permanently. I understand the temptation to 'sort it out' yourself and I would agree that a swift smack in the nose would be painfully effective, but a punch to the throat can kill.

Let's get this in proportion please.

Unfortunately, and I found this out for myself when I was a kid, sometimes the only thing a particular kid will understand is an over-the-top response, as one kid found out back in the days when outdoor garbage pails, and their lids, were still made of metal. Im not condoning it, but all the adult interference in the world may not help. By all means, pursue all the other 'bureaucratic' avenues first, though.

 

[Mr_D.]

Apparently those who read Geiamama's reply from page 2 and suggested violence towards the other child doesn't know a solution when they read it?
Interesting...

The interesting part is the fact that had the FIRST teacher done something about it, then this thread would not be here. But even more interesting is if the other child's PARENTS actually done their job and raised him to not be a jerk. then this thread would not be here. Say what you want, but I am a firm believer that EVERY bully needs to have their butt kicked to teach them the world is not theirs to control.


Also I do not see a solution in that reply. it even says:

It is wonderful to know that at least Dylan's teacher is on-side but of course, actually solving the problem is another matter. Apparently this child is 'troublesome' and has been unpleasant to a great many of the other children but the parents refuse to believe it's their darling angel's doing and the school is struggling with their hands tied.

Sounds to me like the bully is still being a jerk and needs to have his butt kicked to teach him a lesson.

 

[Feraud]

I think you missed the tone of geiamama's reply. Her problems are not solved but she seems relieved to have support in this situation.
That is not to say you should not raise a strong, confident child. Teaching 8 year olds violent solutions to problems is not the best way to raise an emotionally healthy child.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Perhaps slightly fftopic:

I've always had a problem with the way schools are funded. There must be a better way to fund schools than how many warm bodies you can cram into the classroom. That being said, that is one of the reasons why many schools seem unwilling to get rid of bullies, chronic troublemakers and other disruptive elements.

 

[scottyrocks]

But even more interesting is if the other child's PARENTS actually done their job and raised him to not be a jerk. then this thread would not be here. Say what you want, but I am a firm believer that EVERY bully needs to have their butt kicked to teach them the world is not theirs to control.

Not to go too far fftopic: here, but this is the undiscussed problem in the educational system today - the parents who create these (insert expletive) and then either dont know how to handle them, or think its all fine. Nobody ever points the finger at them because its way too hot a button to push.

Sorry, mini-rant over.

 

[Feraud]

Three of my neighbors are teachers and the stories they tell about certain parenting styles would make your skin crawl.

 

[Mr_D.]

...Teaching 8 year olds violent solutions to problems is not the best way to raise an emotionally healthy child.

No, but NOT teaching them to defend them self is not healthy either.

 

[Feraud]

You're barking up the wrong tree pal, I never said it was.
Are you still still harping on that punching in the throat business?
Do you have children? Are you teaching them this nonsense?

 

[Mr_D.]

You're barking up the wrong tree pal, I never said it was.
Are you still still harping on that punching in the throat business?
Do you have children? Are you teaching them this nonsense?

I never said you said anything I was making a point.

yes i have children and yes I am teaching that if someone starts something with you, they better finish it.

 

[Snowdrop]

Three of my neighbors are teachers and the stories they tell about certain parenting styles would make your skin crawl.

Seriously! I'm doing my MA in Broadcasting right now, so to make ends meet, I work as a part-time high school English Lit. teacher and the conversations I've had with a few parents have left me almost speechless. One parent told me I wasn't to give her son homework because she felt having to do work outside of school was 'unfair' and that he wanted to ride his dirt bike instead of doing assignments. (This kid was failing class and at 14, had the reading age of a 9 year old.) Other parents explained their kid's bad behaviour by saying they were just 'expressing themselves'.

I have generally found that when the behaviour of a pupil has shocked me, their parent's attitude has been equally shocking and has usually explained their kid's acting out behaviours. I'm not saying for a second that every unruly child is due to bad parenting, there are other factors to consider I know, but this is just in my personal experience.

Geiamama - I hope you get it all worked out and that your little boy is okay.

 

[W-D Forties]

I think what started out as a parent letting off steam to like minded people has opened up a can of worms. Whilst the systems we have in our schools are not perfect (and neither are individual teachers, we are all human), advocating violence as a first resort is not the answer.

As a parent and teacher myself, I understand the frustrations. As we all know, the apple does not fall far from the tree, and having met parents of 'problem' pupils over the years it is usually pretty obvious where the 'problem' stems from. Therefore, suggesting that more violence will somehow 'sort out' a violent child usually only confirms what that child aready thinks - that violence is the answer.

Lest I be accused of being a namby-pamby tree-hugger, let me say that I am definitely not. I am a realist. We are talking about children here, not adults, they are still learning. Let's think a bit more carefully about what we are teaching them.

I appreciate that some people have endured terrible bullying when they were growing up that wasn't dealt with when it should have been. That was wrong. But I hope this generation will find a better way of dealing with thing than using a 'first-strike' attitude. Isn't that what bullies do?

 

[Shangas]

I'll be very honest. Sitting back and hoping, begging, praying and pleading for the school to sort out your child's (or your own) bullying problems...

...is not the answer.

If it was, I wouldn't have had to do anything. The truth is that teachers are not grief-counsellors or anti-bullying experts and they can't help you. Or at least, nowhere near as effectively as you think they can, or they think they can, themselves. Dealing with bullies requires a certain level of confidence, a Rhett Butler attitude ("I don't give a damn!") and the ability to stand up for yourself. You can't make yourself a doormat and expect the teachers to lock that door to stop people walking over you. You have to be able to do it yourself.

If brawn doesn't work, then the opposite is brains. Publicly insulting and humiliating someone in front of a crowd will hurt their egos quite as much as a good punch to their guts will hurt their bodies and will make them think twice about accosting someone who made them feel small, emotionally, in front of a whole group of people. Having quick wits and a few snappy comebacks in the quiver is a good thing to have. I did a bit of that in school and not only is it amazingly satisfying, but it also leaves everyone unharmed...so to speak. I remember a particularly good incident with a schoolmate named George Dick (no I didn't make that up). Well, one thing led to another which led to another which led to about a half-dozen people laughing their heads off. He decided it was better, after that, to save his pride rather than go after me.