School Bully Targeting Trilby

[scottyrocks]

As a teacher, I cannot agree with your solution, Pompidou, but I will tell you that, as a kid, the only way I got results when being physically picked on was by putting doubt into the soul of the initial aggressor. While I didnt always win every fight, the picking stopped when it was obvious that there would be physical retaliation, and often, the more over-the-top, the better.

 

[Fletch]

...as a kid, the only way I got results when being physically picked on was by putting doubt into the soul of the initial aggressor.

When I was your age, I didn't even know they had souls. I don't think they knew.
You approached these guys on their terms or you avoided them entirely. Being clever impressed no one.

 

[Pompidou]

It's not really an agreeable solution. Clocking a guy in the face isn't really proportional retaliation for a single incidence of property abuse and harassment. Most people will agree there. Is it proportional on the 2nd offense? How about the third? The fourth? Everyone has a line they'll draw in cases like this. By all means, let the staff tell the victim that if he ignores the bullies, they'll go away. It's never worked for anyone, but it absolves the staff of further responsibility, and when it comes down to it, isn't that the important thing? You can also go to the parents of the bully, and rest assured that the same fine parenting that raised a bully will take care of the situation. At some point, career bullying warrants a violent response. It's just a matter of deciding for one's self how much abuse warrants saying enough is enough. By all means, try the rational solutions first. But, don't lose sight of the real goal here - stopping chronic abuse - just because the solution isn't pretty.

 

[scottyrocks]

When I was your age, I didn't even know they had souls. I don't think they knew.
You approached these guys on their terms or you avoided them entirely. Being clever impressed no one.

I am not sure if this is being directed at me in particular, so I'll just say that the only way that some chronic bullies can be stopped is by making them think that their target is not as easy as they had thought, simple as that. I dont want my perceptions of life as a kid and an adult to be confused by anyone. I realize and express things now in a slightly different manner than back then.

 

[Lincsong]

Buy him a speed bag and some gloves.

 

[Fletch]

I am not sure if this is being directed at me in particular, so I'll just say that the only way that some chronic bullies can be stopped is by making them think that their target is not as easy as they had thought, simple as that. I dont want my perceptions of life as a kid and an adult to be confused by anyone. I realize and express things now in a slightly different manner than back then.

Sorry if I gave the wrong impression - I meant to refer to my own experiences as a youth. Our bullies were usually from the "wrong side of the tracks" and respected nothing but muscle. If you could not physically overpower them, you just had to stay out of their way.

Good thing they were few in number, and tended to leave school entirely after 9th grade (the minimum in our state). Until then, there wasn't a lot the community could do with them until they committed a serious enough offense for juvenile authorities to get involved.

 

[1961MJS]

As a teacher, I cannot agree with your solution, Pompidou, but I will tell you that, as a kid, the only way I got results when being physically picked on was by putting doubt into the soul of the initial aggressor. While I didnt always win every fight, the picking stopped when it was obvious that there would be physical retaliation, and often, the more over-the-top, the better.

Hi

The son of our Baseball coach was getting picked on as a sixth grader in a geographically and demographically EXTREMELY diverse school. Three sets of rich kids, two sets of gangbangers, and poor kids in one junior high. None of them would see each other in high school either. The kid getting picked on grabbed the next kid that smacked him by the throat, threw him to the ground and was choking him and bashing his head on the concrete when the school police grabbed him. He did two weeks out of school, but NO ONE ever picked on him again.

Later

 

[W-D Forties]

Unfortunately, as much as I would like to say that clobbering this thug would work, it'll be difficult if he's a lot bigger than your son.
I would keep a log of any problems yourself and inform the school immediately of each and every one. This way the school can build up an accurate picture of this kid's behaviour. Complain each time to the teacher, then the head, then the school governors. The school need evidence if they are to act.
Don't be afraid to kick up a stink. This will stop.
And, speaking as the mother of 6 and 11 year old boys who both have fedoras and wear the occasional cravat, I hope your son sticks to his guns. Life is certainly easier if you toe the party line, but it's far less interesting. Something to muse over in 10 years time when this particuar young man is enquiring 'if you want fries with that'.

 

[Geiamama]

As much as I would love to see this kid get a pop in the jaw, I'm not sure my boy would be able to do it. He's tall but very slight, give it a few years though and he'll be the size of a brick... well... you know, just like his uncle and cousins. I've spoken to the mothers and fathers of the other affected children and we're writing down each time there is a problem, and thankfully so is my son's teacher, however I think this has shown me that I ought to enroll the little lad into somesort of self-defence class like boxing or martial arts. He's not thrilled by the idea, he'd prefer dance classes so he can be like Gene Kelly (I may have been a bit of an influence there ), but as a boy who likes to dance, sew, knit and paint, I fear this may be a recurrent problem

And, speaking as the mother of 6 and 11 year old boys who both have fedoras and wear the occasional cravat, I hope your son sticks to his guns. Life is certainly easier if you toe the party line, but it's far less interesting. Something to muse over in 10 years time when this particuar young man is enquiring 'if you want fries with that'.

lol lol lol LOVE IT!!!

 

[Yeps]

As much as I would love to see this kid get a pop in the jaw, I'm not sure my boy would be able to do it. He's tall but very slight, give it a few years though and he'll be the size of a brick... well... you know, just like his uncle and cousins. I've spoken to the mothers and fathers of the other affected children and we're writing down each time there is a problem, and thankfully so is my son's teacher, however I think this has shown me that I ought to enroll the little lad into somesort of self-defence class like boxing or martial arts. He's not thrilled by the idea, he'd prefer dance classes so he can be like Gene Kelly (I may have been a bit of an influence there ), but as a boy who likes to dance, sew, knit and paint, I fear this may be a recurrent problem

He sounds a lot like me. I was homeschooled until high school, and thereby avoided much of the problem. However, for the first two years of high school I was picked on relentlessly. One day freshman year, during gym class, I got so fed up with one tormentor (ironically much shorter than me, but a mean son of a gun nonetheless) that I walked away. He followed me, continuing to jeer and I lost my temper, turned around and socked him hard in the temple, dropping him to the ground. I got a good talking to, and they figured he had enough punishment. We became friends for the rest of the four years, more or less.

By the way, I was in dancing and musical theatre my whole life (opera now). I never quite fit in with the jock types.

 

[W-D Forties]

As much as I would love to see this kid get a pop in the jaw, I'm not sure my boy would be able to do it. He's tall but very slight, give it a few years though and he'll be the size of a brick... well... you know, just like his uncle and cousins. I've spoken to the mothers and fathers of the other affected children and we're writing down each time there is a problem, and thankfully so is my son's teacher, however I think this has shown me that I ought to enroll the little lad into somesort of self-defence class like boxing or martial arts. He's not thrilled by the idea, he'd prefer dance classes so he can be like Gene Kelly (I may have been a bit of an influence there ), but as a boy who likes to dance, sew, knit and paint, I fear this may be a recurrent problem


My boys do Jujitsu, which is basically self defence. You are using your oponents force to best him. Whilst I wouldn't say it has turned my eldest into Bruce Lee (more Jackie Chan!), it has given him the confidence to know that he can handle himself if he needs to, and that confidence is what puts the bullies off having a go.

 

[SGT Rocket]

Peace through superior firepower

If I was a parent, I would wait outside the school and have my son point out the bully. Then I would see if the bully gets on a bus, his parents pick him up, or he walks home. I would follow him and find out where he lives. I would then call the police and tell them that the kid has repeatedly assaulted your son and you want a protection from abuse order, and have the parents served.

Of course, there's also the "dark alley" solution....would have been fine in the 50's, but you'd get a charge of assaulting a minor now because kids have more rights than adults.

I agree with the above post. However, you son of the original poster may just have to pop the bully in the nose. If the school officials see that as aggressive, so be it. All my children know that if a teacher will not stop the abuse of a bully~~ they are allowed to kick his a$$.

Peace through superior firepower.

 

[SGT Rocket]

As much as I would love to see this kid get a pop in the jaw, I'm not sure my boy would be able to do it. He's tall but very slight, give it a few years though and he'll be the size of a brick... well... you know, just like his uncle and cousins.

I think it is good that you are getting with other parents to log all the abuse. BUT, you mention that your son has cousins-- perhaps "the size of a brick?" Maybe the cousins should join your son after school for a talk with the bully?

 

[Widebrim]

American schools are run by either paddling zealots or imaginary lawyers, so I can't imagine a good outcome here. Wearing the hat at all would be considered disruptive by either type of administrator.

Not all schools, Fletch...Many of our students wear fedoras and caps, as do I.

 

[sheeplady]

Geiamama- I think the one thing I haven't seen mentioned is that you should really reassure your son that coming to you was smart and the right thing to do. A lot of kids hide bullying that happens to them or others (or at least the extent of it) from their parents and even teachers for a host of reasons. They might be afraid of it escalating, or afraid that they will be labeled a tattle-tale, etc. So often people do not realize it is happening to a child/ multiple children until something really horrible happens.

The parents may be bullies themselves and that is why they cannot see their child's behavior- they think their child is normal or they may even encourage their kid to act that way. Some people grow out of bullying, but some never do, and then they go about terrorizing adults and children as adults.

 

[Diamondback]

Yes, we call these people "psychopaths".

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Oh this takes me back. I used to get targeted by teachers because of my opinions, politically (I won't get specific there.) Anyhow, I ended up having trouble from a lot of staff and my father ended up coming to the school and asking my principal to "Step outside and settle it like men." Mind you, my dad is a body builder and a bit intimidating, not to mention he has a short fuse. A few threats from him and we never even got report cards anymore lol

 

[LittleMissPussyCat]

My daughters school (sorry they call themselves college now) banned all hats years ago. My son (10) however does not attend school, partly due to the bullies that made his life hell when he did go, He always wears a hat of some description, and does at times attract the attention of bullies when we pick up from school.

 

[Akubra Man]

Obtain a restraining order from the local court against the bullies ordering them not come closer than say 300 feet from your son. Provide the superintendent at the school division and the principal copies of the order and demand that the school enforce the order. You should have 20 or so days before the bullies can have the order amended if they can show cause it should. Next get your popcorn ready for the show.

I wish your son the best. No child should have to look over his shoulder to see who is coming after him when he is just trying to get an education.

 

[SGT Rocket]

Hmmmm

fftopic:
Akubra Man, I LOVE your avatar.