Braxton36
One of the Regulars
- Messages
- 166
- Location
- Deep South, USA
I had to go to Best Buy on Saturday. You probably have one nearby. They're getting to be like Walmarts. And cockroaches. They just show up.
As I walked around aimlessly looking for a wall-mounted telephone (they had three models among the hundreds of others that did everything but brush your teeth) hoping that someone would point me in the right direction (they have dozens of harried employees - most of whom look like they've recently been graduated from pull-ups to regular underwear) and away from that god-awful music (you know you're getting old when you can't understand the lyrics except for the bad words).
It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps I have lived beyond my time of technological ability. I thought about my grandparents (all four born c. 1900) and wondered what one thing in this enormous store they could find that would make any sense to them. And how could I explain?
A microwave oven?
(We use ours to make popcorn and cook bacon... used to be called a frying pan)
A vacuum system?
(It used to be called a "Hoover" - the concept is the same, they just look like somebody's science project now. Does alot that a broom and a rag does.)
An entertainment system?
(Well it's a television, and it plays music, and records and plays movies and television shows. I'm not sure that some don't polish shoes and clean up after the dog, too. I do know that they come with remote controls that look like you could launch an entire air force with them and a set of instructions that have about as many words as the Encyclopedia Britannica used to have. In four languages.)
A digital camera?
(It's a Kodak. Same thing. Just now you don't have to worry about everyone in the drug store passing around your embarrassing pictures.)
A copier/printer/scanner?
(Think photostat machine or mimeograph without the purple stains and the lurid smell.)
Digital everything else?
(Short for disposable - the backs don't open up - just plan on throwing them out when they break.)
I'm going to go lie down now.
As I walked around aimlessly looking for a wall-mounted telephone (they had three models among the hundreds of others that did everything but brush your teeth) hoping that someone would point me in the right direction (they have dozens of harried employees - most of whom look like they've recently been graduated from pull-ups to regular underwear) and away from that god-awful music (you know you're getting old when you can't understand the lyrics except for the bad words).
It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps I have lived beyond my time of technological ability. I thought about my grandparents (all four born c. 1900) and wondered what one thing in this enormous store they could find that would make any sense to them. And how could I explain?
A microwave oven?
(We use ours to make popcorn and cook bacon... used to be called a frying pan)
A vacuum system?
(It used to be called a "Hoover" - the concept is the same, they just look like somebody's science project now. Does alot that a broom and a rag does.)
An entertainment system?
(Well it's a television, and it plays music, and records and plays movies and television shows. I'm not sure that some don't polish shoes and clean up after the dog, too. I do know that they come with remote controls that look like you could launch an entire air force with them and a set of instructions that have about as many words as the Encyclopedia Britannica used to have. In four languages.)
A digital camera?
(It's a Kodak. Same thing. Just now you don't have to worry about everyone in the drug store passing around your embarrassing pictures.)
A copier/printer/scanner?
(Think photostat machine or mimeograph without the purple stains and the lurid smell.)
Digital everything else?
(Short for disposable - the backs don't open up - just plan on throwing them out when they break.)
I'm going to go lie down now.