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My Mother Says...

kamikat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,794
Location
Maryland
My mother and I have had a very rocky relationship. She's still not supportive of me or my lifestyle choices. However, she is an estate sale addict and has come to the end of her household goods shopping list. When I asked her to look for 50's handbags and costume jewelry, she got very excited.
 

moonmatrix

Familiar Face
Messages
84
Location
utica ny
I am so thankful for my mother. She is my my best friend and always has been. Beyond suportive of the whole vintage look. She buys me vintage clothing at estate sales if I am not with her. She helps me dig through sales and keeps others out of the bins and closets so I can look safely. She is a master seamstress and helps make anything I can not. She is working on an amazing 1942 pattern right now for me, horror's abonding, but that is another story. She always compliments and tells me how much I look like my Grandmother who has passed away. She knows if I didn't buy vintage and second hand I would not be able to afford the wardrobe I have. She doesn't like my two tatooes but she knows I keep them hidden so she doesn't mind them so much these days and I hardly ever where all my earrings anymore, I had 12 holes. My brother and his wife just think I am weird. The rest of my family doesn't get it and I am just starting to wear my vintage around them, toned down of course. I come from a large family in Maine of very conservitive old school backwards thinking folks. My grandfather on the other hand adores my look.
 

Femme Fatale

New in Town
Messages
27
Location
North Carolina
My mom isn't one to criticize what i'm wearing but she will gently try to get me to wear other things. She actually thinks I should wear more sexy, modern clothes. I never could figure out why usually people have parents telling them to cover up. So instead of actually saying i'm not really liking your vintage clothes she sends me clothes she thinks I should wear; like the time i got a mini skirt in the mail. Hopefully that thing found a good home when I took it to Goodwill. I've been showing her lately that wearing vintage clothes can absolutely be sexy without showing places where the sun doesn't shine, slowly but surely i think its starting to click.
 
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annet

One of the Regulars
Messages
149
Location
Antwerp, Belgium
my mother usually laughs at me clothes. she used to say i should start to be more elegant (when wearing jeans and t-shirts) and now she just chuckles at my dresses and high waisted pants. when i go shopping and show her what i got she picks out the one item that is the most moderns and says something like 'i don't care for the rest but this i like!'

too bad for her i'm not changing anything. i finally like my clothes!
 

Land-O-LakesGal

Practically Family
Messages
864
Location
St Paul, Minnesota
My mom and i have always had a rocky relationship there were a few years I didn't speak to her at all. Now that I have a family we talk more but we can still get into some bad disagreements. When I was a teen I was shaving my head and tearing up my clothes punk rock style she was so embarrassed of me she asked me to hide in the back of her car so she would be seen with me. She hates tattoos as you say most of your moms do. So now some victory rolls and snood don't phase her much. She really likes antiques too she doesn't get out of sorts about my decorating style. She has a lot to say about my financials and my kids but well we can't have everything.
 

AdrianLvsRocky

One of the Regulars
Messages
238
Location
Wales, UK
My Mam (as we say here in Wales) loves my vintagey look but then she has always been complimentary even through my teenage punky/grungy years with multi-coloured hair and body piercings. I think she trys to see the best in everything!

I guess she must be pretty relieved that I now sport a more elegant, lady-like look!

In fact, just last weekend, we went out for a meal and she told me that my Nan & Gramps would have loved my hair and dress which made me very chuffed!

It must be very frustrating for you lovely ladies who have trouble with your mother's opinion on your look. I feel very lucky that mine is so supportive.

Now, if the subject was fathers - that would be a very different story!!
 

BoPeep

Practically Family
Messages
637
Location
Pasturelands, Wisc
My mom (born 1941) is happy with what I'm doing. She loves that I sew from her mother's patterns (40s and 50s), but when I excitedly tell her about my latest project, she just laughs and shakes her head. "I wore that in high school!" she says, or "I tried to make that same dress in navy tweed!" She can't understand why I would want to wear styles she had to wear. Like many women of that decade (who've come to appreciate the casualness of this decade), she disliked the garter belts, the necessity of gloves and heels whenever you left the house, etc. She is a great source though, when I feel the need to be very authentic about something.
 

lolly_loisides

One Too Many
Messages
1,845
Location
The Blue Mountains, Australia
It's 9 years today since my mother died & I feel her loss every day (especially today though). She was a fantastic home seamstress & she would have loved that I am using her (and my grandmothers) patterns. There are so many things that I wish I had taken greater notice of when she was alive. She loved to knit & crochet & I never really took the time to learn. She also enjoyed cooking & I think I'm going to do a bit of baking today as a kind of remembrance.
 

Julius8122

New in Town
Messages
32
Location
Nampa, ID
My mom just laughs at my wardrobe choices. I've always been the odd one in the family. She supported me through my polyester shirt phase, the nothing but orange phase, the punk phase, the cowboy phase, the stoner phase...now she says I finally have a look that she can support without a fake smile and lots of prayers. The only comments she makes anymore on my appearance is to tell me how lovely I look and how my Grandma Julie would have loved me (she died a week before I was born and I was named after her).
 

Tatum

Practically Family
Messages
959
Location
Sunshine State
My mother loves my vintage look, as does my grandmother (but it might be the Alzheimer's, hehe). Hubby and I just got back from a trip to see my mom and other family, and setting my hair while we were gone just wasn't convenient. Mom and hubby both whined about my perpetual ponytail! Hubby doesn't say much about my hair, so that was big for me.

My mother in law, on the other hand, is not supportive at all. I will find these great pics of her in the '40s and '50s, and ask her if she remembers how she had it cut, how she set it (she always had great hairstyles) and she always says she doesn't remember (I don't believe that for a second, as she is a crappy fibber), and why can't I just keep my hair the way I used to instead of trying vintage styles!
 

Lady Jessica

One of the Regulars
Messages
243
Location
Southern California
My mom bought me some cold cream she thought I'd like since the box looked vintage and she's always pointing out things she thinks will be my style so she's pretty supportive! My Grandma likes my dresses and says things like, "This style is flattering on you! i used to wear dresses just like that!"
 

HarlowQueen

New in Town
Messages
16
Location
Vancouver, British Columbia
I figure I must be one of the terribly lucky ones in this thread. My mother is an amazingly supportive person and is no different when it comes to my sense of style. She is the one who raised me on late night old movies and has always embraced my being a bit different.

We go thrift store shopping together and she spots all sorts of lovely things like my amazing GE bonnet dryer almost brand new she found for $5 and a lovely little vintage velvet hat. She is my absolute best friend and love everything vintage, just as I do. The only thing we have differing opinions on seems to be Greta Garbo and Jean Harlow!

I'm also very lucky in the fact that most of the time on weekends when my dad sees me, he has nothing but high praise. Both he and my mother constantly say how I was born in the wrong era and how wonderful and "at home" I seem to be in my vintage garb.

I'm terribly sorry to hear of all the horrible feedback some people on here get but I just want to add my two cents.
If we spent all our time worrying about what our family's and friend's and even strangers thoughts towards us were, we'd never have time to remember why we all love the vintage so much. We do it for OURSELVES because this what we love. That really is the bottom line and what matters most.
 

zombi

A-List Customer
Messages
491
Location
Thoracic Park
Seems like a lot of us are "ex-" goth or punk or what-have-you. Interesting!

My mother thinks my vintage things look beautiful. Of course, she has always been supportive of me, but I think the vintage look is one she feels more genuinely complimentary of. She doesn't like my tattoos, of course, but she won't say anything about them to me now.
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
Seems like a lot of us are "ex-" goth or punk or what-have-you. Interesting!

My mother thinks my vintage things look beautiful. Of course, she has always been supportive of me, but I think the vintage look is one she feels more genuinely complimentary of. She doesn't like my tattoos, of course, but she won't say anything about them to me now.

Not an ex punk or goth, but I was a Mod in high school :)
 

Berlin

Practically Family
Messages
510
Location
The Netherlands
My mom is very supportive. If I am happy, she is aswell. She thinks I have an old soul and likes the vintage I am wearing.. but now and then I do hear a little complain that she would like to see me more often in jeans. Cause it looks so good on me, is what she says. But wearing jeans is a no go for me, haven't worn any since years.

Grandma likes it aswell, and even helps me with some looks.

So I am quite lucky!
 

Geiamama

One of the Regulars
Messages
201
Location
Cheltenham, UK
My mother is thrilled that I wear vintage because I learnt it all from her! She has been into 1930s and 1940s fashions since as long as I can remember. She is always really encouraging. She is forever sending me surprise parcels of shoes, clothes and especially vintage knitting patterns, even a sewing machine once! She never liked it when I bleached my hair blonde or my tattoos but, bless her, she was the one in the bathroom battling my hair with a tint brush and the one holding my hand when needle hit skin.

My grandmother, however, thinks that we are completely nuts. She lived through the Golden Era and can't for the life of her understand why we would want to emmulate that time as all she can remember is the hardship. Although she does think we look much more 'ladylike' than "these modern types"! lol
 

Amelia

New in Town
Messages
5
Location
New York, New York
I'm learning to dress vintage, so my grandmother loves it, even gave me some old skirts she had when she married in 1944. My mother is a more modern women so I hear things like:

"don't come to my job looking like that"

"what &$@( is that you have on now"

"this is why your 21 and have no boyfriend"

"wearing that and I'll never get any grandkids from my only daughter"

"those shoes....seriously need to go in the trash, your grandma didn't wear them after the 1960s for a reason"

She makes me laugh, because I'm her daughter, I have a great amount of things to say to her too lol.
 

Hey_Laaaaaady!

Familiar Face
Messages
55
Location
somewhere between 1947-1951
My mother is mostly supportive...she likes the fact that I dress well and envies my "style" (my mother has absolutely no fashion sense :p ) ; she also helps me find vintage clothes in stores and such and is always on the lookout for me...but she is also quick to point out what looks "odd" to her (40s barrel bangs, stuff like that) and says it's "funky". I tell her, "Mom, you were raised in the 70s, don't be telling me what's funky!"

I set my hair for the past few weeks and she kept commenting on how she wished I would leave it straight just for a little while. I didn't set it last night (too tired) and came down to breakfast this morning and she said, "Oh. Well, that's boring." :D

My mom also can't understand dressing to impress. She is a seriously casual person (but she's ill a lot of the time) and every time I put on a nice blouse (even with jeans) she asks me why I'm so "dressed up". But I really don't care what my mother says, I use her as a fashion gauge some of the time but mostly ignore her. :p
 

Tenuki

One of the Regulars
Messages
202
Location
Seattle
My mom is supportive as well. The first time she saw my middie and pin curl set, she dug up some photos of her in the 40s - and we had the same hairstyle, which she thought was great. Before she retired to the Rez worked in corporate America and dressed up everyday, though she didn't really want to. She just felt "it was ladylike". That could explain why the Rez was so appealing to her. Now, she only has to dress up for powwows.
 

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