My Mother Says...

[Lollipop]

My mum always complains that I look "too old for my age" and I should dress more modern teenage like(Yes, Because wearing Hollister and "fashion mullet." like everyone else is sooo much more better ). She loathes my 1940 dresses, and Victory Rolls. Like a few days ago, I had my hair all done cute...Up in a updo with the bandana, I had pin curled my bangs, and then took them out and pinned them up, so they were "curly fluffy." almost...She refused to leave the house "looking like that" I mean, She didn't mind the bandana or updo, But it was the bangs...I had to undo the bangs, and do a bit of a poofy bit with them, JUST we could leave the house.

Weirdly enough, She doesn't mind the rockabilly/pin upy outfits, or my pin curled hair(As long as it's down.). But with all the comments she and my sisters make, I just smile and say "Thanks."

 

[Lindabelle]

My Mum has pretty much always critised my hair or what I wear, so my wearing vintage is no different. She will just give me that look and say sweetly "is that what your wearing?" which means I wish you'd go change. Before I wore vintage she would comment that my dress was too short or top too low etc and that my hair was too long and needed styling as it just hung around my face. She now tells me repeatedly that my hair suited me much better when it was straight (she hates my hair now I wear it pincurled).My dad on the other hand is very supportive and told my sister that I look like a movie star.lol.He even got my sewing machined serviced when he found out I'm keen to make my own vintage fashions. His biggest complement was how I looked so much like his mum (my nanna) in her 20's right down to my dark hair and colouring. My nanna was such a wonderful influence on me growing up,she used to pincurl my sisters and my hair and taught us the charleston when she was in her 70's. I know she would love my vintage clothes and hair. My husband thinks that vintage style is attractive and flattering and is very supportive. So I try not to let my mum's comments upset me too much.

 

[C-dot]

My husband thinks that vintage style is attractive and flattering and is very supportive. So I try not to let my mum's comments upset me too much.

Exactly. My fiancé likes my style a lot, he says hes proud to walk down the street with a girl men stare at for good reasons. I can't say I'd change my style if he didn't like it, just as I don't change because my mum doesn't like it.

For my birthday dinner, the family got together and went to The Keg. My mum came to my place, saw my seamed stockings, and said "what is this, Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret?"
I kissed her on the cheek, smiled warmly, and said "Mummy, you ALWAYS make me feel secure." lol

 

[ThesFlishThngs]

"Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret" - that's funny. I'm sorry to hear of these unsupportive, critical mothers. Stick to your guns, girls.
Mine's never said anything about my style, but considering I used to be a denim & leather rocker (way back when), she's probably just glad I've matured a bit more girly, and actually married a man with short hair!

 

[Elaina]

Actually, I find that the only person I have to please is myself, and to try and not embarrass my son too badly.

My son, luckily, is very supportive of the dress, and one compliment from him (and he's not stingy with them) more then makes up for any criticism from anyone else. Any time a pre-teen boy tells his mother they look hot, you know everyone else can be shown the door.

 

[Violeta]

My mom has always begged me to look "normal"...."please get a pretty hair color, why can't you color it brown?" "Why dont you wear a nice dress?" "You're wearing that!?" That was in high school, when I used to wear checkered pants with converse. I admit my style was hideous, but I was finding myself! I had a very old pair of converse (holes and everything) they were soo comfy, but every now and then they mysteriously ended up in the trash can! I would take them right back out, and a month later, there they were in the trash again! One time when I was at school, I came home to find that she threw away and burned my clothes!!! She gave me $500 for a new wardrobe, I gladly spent it on books, movies, music... lol Now that I'm older and dress vintage, she loves it and can't stop saying nice things! YAY!

 

[Paisley]

"Queen, you are full fair, 'tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you."

 

[CherryWry]

My mom and approve of each other's styles in waves. Right now, we're doing pretty well. She likes me in vintage/classic styles and she fully supports my shoe and compact addictions. She greatly prefers it to the acid washed-jeans, cowboy boots and ridiculous gobs of black eyeliner I wore in high school.

She's less certain about the red lipstick, and I'm sure when I go home next week I'll get, "Oh, you're growing your hair again? But the bob looks so nice on you...when it's long it just HANGS there..."

I love that she's stopped coloring her hair and started wearing fewer accessories. She'd try to wear a necklace and earrings and bracelets and a scarf and a pin and rings with every outfit and it seemed overwhelming to me.

<shrug>

I'm happy with the way I dress, she's happy with the way she dresses, and we've realized that we're always going to disagree on certain points.

 

[flashalee]

Gosh, I feel so fortunate that my mom loves and encourages my vintage habit! She loves to go shopping with me to look for "dancing dresses" and always wants a fashion show.

 

[PS]

Gosh, I feel so fortunate that my mom loves and encourages my vintage habit! She loves to go shopping with me to look for "dancing dresses" and always wants a fashion show.

This is my mom too. We don't live close so we don't get to shop together much but she likes it when I send pictures of what I've bought or how I've done my hair. I am sure when I was a teenager she wasn't quite sure what would become of my style but she loves that I try to look like a lady. I won't lie, I can slob it up too. I've had a lot of stress this summer so I've spent most days in tank tops, ripped jeans, cardigans and flip flops but I can turn it out with the best of them. I think she likes that, we had a funeral this summer and I saw many people I had not since I was a little girl and she said she was proud to have me on her arm. One woman said I was exquisite from my dress, to the way I carried myself that I was just exceptional and my mother admitted that it made her feel proud to know that I came from her. That was a beautiful compliment.

 

[get_atomized]

I like reading about everyone's relationships with their mothers! This is turning out to be a very interesting thread.

My mother doesn't make terribly negative comments either way, but she definitely prefers it when I wear a vintage look than when I don't. I have a mohawk dyed green, so when I wear vintage I also wear wigs to go with the look. But she likes the vintage even more than popular contemporary styles for young women! From pictures I have seen, she was pretty stylish herself in the 60s, and always makes comments like "Oh I had a dress just like that", I think she likes that I take after her in that respect!

When I'm not wearing a full vintage look, my look usually consists of very short skirts, patterned tights, visible lingerie, rips, bleach stains, platform pumps, etc, the kind of disheveled skankiness I think a lot of ladies in the Lounge pride themselves in avoiding, so yes, she definitely prefers the vintage.
She has seen me browsing the forum and thinks you ladies are lovely! ...Not to mention the gentlemen

 

[analiebe]

my mother (naturally HATES my tattoos) but LOVES me wearing vintage...

when i was still a teenager and wore vintage garb in more of a punk/ rebellious tone she quietly kept her opinions to herself - although a raised eyebrow can be worth a thousand words...
when i hit my 20's however, and started to have a more authentic/ elegant take on things she just said that this was how she always saw me... i think i remind her a lot of her mother (who died when she was 17) and she always complimented me on my style and clothing...
now i'm 38 she still hates my tattoos but when she visits always asks to see my new vintage finds and brings me vintage patterns shes found or a piece of my grandmothers or great aunts jewelry/ photographs or a small vintage family treasure...

 

[C-dot]

Bump!

If I hadn't started this thread before, I sure would be now.

95% of the time I can laugh about my mother's comments, but honestly, she can really get me down.

Shes over right now having tea. I have my job interview today (that I posted in the other thread about) and I invited her along to the mall so we could shop after. She's already told me to "look normal for once" for the interview, because she thinks they won't hire me.

I've put my hair into a neat Betty Grable updo, am wearing a nice sweater with high waisted trousers and will wear understated heels. I've kept my make-up low-key. She looks at me like I have two heads, then exclaims "Oh GOD! You aren't going to the interview like that, are you?! Really Laura, you're way over the top!"

I told her her attitude was way over the top and she went away, grumbling about "not knowing anything." Jeez woman, I'm nervous enough about being interviewed again as it is!

I feel a little better now...

 

[RebeccaDoll]

C-dot, I'm sure you look remarkable, fantastic, and completely hirerable (is that a word?). Thanks, for the thread BTW, when I'm feeling down, knowing that all the other lovely ladies of the lounge are in the same boat, too, is comforting.

 

[Antje]

My mom actually stopped commenting me, when I was about 16 years, I have always done something different with my hair and clothes then other girls in school would do.

She doesn't know why I curl my hair, its the only thing she somethimes says something about,

"why do you curl your hair when it is already curled by itself ??"

 

[jayem]

My mom doesn't mind at all. I don't really dress vintage everyday, but when I do she compliments it, usually saying "The classics never go out of style!"

I hate the fashion now of recycled late 80s, early 90s fashion. I wore neon windbreakers when I was 10, I'm not wearing them again. And, nobody thought MC Hammer pants were cool... not even MC Hammer.

 

[Lindabelle]

Oh C-dot I'm sorry that your mum gave you such a a hard time when you needed support. The worst thing is when my parent's criticise me like that they actually think they are doing me a favour by letting me know what they think! lol I personally think your mum should thank her lucky stars that she has a daughter that has pride in the way she dresses and isn't wearing plunging necklines or skirts that show off her undies like half of the population.
I think you look gorgeous!

 

[Lillemor]

It's not direct criticism but my mom's trying to influence my style in a street style direction with clothes gifts. I do need new clothes. Some basic items are worn out but I feel guilty that instead of being grateful I'm really irritated that I don't feel she respects the direction I want to take my style. More authentic looking retro as long as I can't afford vintage, some Bollywood glam influences but that's not the same as the metro street styles you might be used to seeing! I don't know what the difference is, maybe it's all in my head. If someone wants to help me add to my collection of retro/vintage inspired clothes, I'd appreciate it more if the'd actually made an attempt to understand how I envision my style! *Sigh!*.

C-dot. I'm sorry about your mom's reaction. I understand her concern. She just wants you to have the best chances of getting the job and she (I think wrongly) thinks your style will work against you.

Honestly, my style has never got in the way of me getting a job at KFC, Aldi (supermarket chain), or a nursing home. Of course these were jobs where I'd have to wear some sort of "uniform" so the employers didn't care about my personal style.

I think what you put together was classic and timeless and with just enough personal touch without seeming to interefere with a professional image.

 

[C-dot]

Thanks so much RebeccaDoll, Lindabelle and Lillemor - You ladies are sweet! <3
My mum will get an idea into her head - in this case, no one will hire me - and give her opinion as though I've asked for it. Then she can't understand why I wouldn't listen to her.

...Although I did get to rub it in her face! The manager interviewing me was the manager who had seen me before, and she absolutely raved about my vintage look! I told her I tried to tone it down for the interview, and she said "Ohmigosh NO! I love it! It's so lovely and different - It's what made me remember you!" Not only that, but the ladies at the MAC counter had to interrupt my mum's question to them to tell me how amazing my look was.

Boy, was she mollified! As good as that felt, encouragement from like-minds was way better. Thanks again

 

[Amy Jeanne]

My mom doesn't care what I wear -- never did! I did the whole punk thing when I was a pre-teen and teen. I even used to cut and shave my own head. And dye it with food dye lol She would just say, "Hey, want that new Siouxsie album?" She just let me go through my phases naturally and never hassled me about them. And looking back, she did the right thing.

My Aunt, on the other hand, ALWAYS gave me crap. Her goal was to get me to look "normal" so I can get a man. Because, ladies (as you all know!!), you are not complete without a man lol. She gave me crap up until I met my husband in 2004 (I was 28 when she stopped treating me like a dumb kid!) You should have seen all the winners she tried to hook me up with over the years. None my type at all. I saw her a couple weeks ago at my grandmother's birthday party and she actually told me how great I looked, she liked my platinum 1930s style hair, and liked my dress and even asked me what year it was from!