My Mother Says...

[LinaSofia]

I envy you ladies who have supportive mothers! My mum can be supportive about some things, but when it comes to my vintage look she hates it and is really critical! She says "oh can't you stop this now! can't you wear some nice clothes". She does like some of my dresses, but she doesn't like that it's a bit different, she'd rather that I was a bit more "normal". When I wore red lipstick in her house last time I visited she came in and said I looked like a clown! Hmm, I try to brush it off as best I can, but it's quite hurtful sometimes.
But then, anything that sticks out is not her cup of tea... she hates my fiance too, because he has tattoos

 

[Juliet]

My mother is very supportive. I guess it helps that manners, ladylikeness etc. is a must in our family - but when I was woefully experimenting in my teenage years, she never objected, or made fun of me. Now, she's very happy with my style.
The only thing that slightly bothers her is the red lipstick. She doesn't object to the lipstick in itself, she says that I just look so cute without make-up and so grown-up with it. Interspersed with proclamations: "When will you grow up completely?!" Must be a parent thing)))
I must say, I never thought SO many mothers react this negatively to their daughters dressing like a lady. Complete shock, in fact.


Actually, if I won't find a thread on this, I'll be starting one about dolling one's mother up, who is outerly reluctant and stubborn, but admires the style very much (but keeps saying: "not for me, I'm too old, for whom should I do this", ARRGH)

 

[1finefeline]

Like some of you ladies, my mother is so used to my strange dressing phases she barely noticed when I first started dressing vintage. The goth phase, the "emo" phase, the hippie phase, I did it all! I think my first day of full on vintage dressing I wore a salmon-pink 1950s housedress to go yardsale-ing! Didn't even bat an eyelash and told me I looked nice that day. Now that I'm somewhat settled in on dressing vintage, I think she's grown to like it quite a lot. Although I'm far away at college and I don't see her often I will text her pictures of my sets in the morning. She also bought me my first set of curlers. My mom is still fairly young though, and she has tattoos and piercings of her own so she's just very accepting overall.

I don't see my grandmother very often, I think she was kind of a polite society kind of woman in the late 50s and 60s and she went to a sort of finishing school. Now I'm curious what her reaction would be if she saw me!

 

[Berlin]

I envy you ladies who have supportive mothers! My mum can be supportive about some things, but when it comes to my vintage look she hates it and is really critical! She says "oh can't you stop this now! can't you wear some nice clothes". She does like some of my dresses, but she doesn't like that it's a bit different, she'd rather that I was a bit more "normal". When I wore red lipstick in her house last time I visited she came in and said I looked like a clown! Hmm, I try to brush it off as best I can, but it's quite hurtful sometimes.
But then, anything that sticks out is not her cup of tea... she hates my fiance too, because he has tattoos

Well, looking at your avatar, you look far from a clown with red lipstick

 

[BunnyLamarr]

Not an ex punk or goth, but I was a Mod in high school

Me too! My mother was really supportive of it when I was at school, she didn't like the bowl cut I had too much but she did love the shift dresses and made me so many of them, they were fab. She did teach me everything I know about sewing too.
We don't really talk much at the moment, we have always had a tricky relationship. I'm not sure what she would think of my Vintage passion. She doesn't like the swing/big band music so I am guessing she wont like the clothing either. I think it reminds her of growing up too much and hearing my Grandma play it.
My Grandma, who is more like my Mother loves it! She lets me rummage around her gloves and bags and is sorry she threw 'this and that' away. She's great for tips and hints even though she is bed bound now I just know if she could get out she would come shopping with me. She loved clothes and she always looked immaculate in pictures.
She taught me how to knit, crochet & bake and gave me the love of swing music, taught me how to make preserves, play the piano, curl my hair and tells me stories of how her mother and grandmother used to save up with their friends and each month one of them would pool money to get a perm with a machine. She tells me of how she and her sister used to come in from dancing and Nanny would lend them her furs. She even let me have her prized vintage scales and wicker shopping basket and her beautiful silver. She's just about the best friend I ever had next to my Grandad. He thought I was so wonderful I could have walked around in a bin liner and he would have said I looked 'Grand'

 

[rue]

Me too! My mother was really supportive of it when I was at school, she didn't like the bowl cut I had too much but she did love the shift dresses and made me so many of them, they were fab. She did teach me everything I know about sewing too.
We don't really talk much at the moment, we have always had a tricky relationship. I'm not sure what she would think of my Vintage passion. She doesn't like the swing/big band music so I am guessing she wont like the clothing either. I think it reminds her of growing up too much and hearing my Grandma play it.
My Grandma, who is more like my Mother loves it! She lets me rummage around her gloves and bags and is sorry she threw 'this and that' away. She's great for tips and hints even though she is bed bound now I just know if she could get out she would come shopping with me. She loved clothes and she always looked immaculate in pictures.
She taught me how to knit, crochet & bake and gave me the love of swing music, taught me how to make preserves, play the piano, curl my hair and tells me stories of how her mother and grandmother used to save up with their friends and each month one of them would pool money to get a perm with a machine. She tells me of how she and her sister used to come in from dancing and Nanny would lend them her furs. She even let me have her prized vintage scales and wicker shopping basket and her beautiful silver. She's just about the best friend I ever had next to my Grandad. He thought I was so wonderful I could have walked around in a bin liner and he would have said I looked 'Grand'

I had a difficult relationship with my mom until I was in my late 30s, but she still doesn't get why I look the way I do or why I like the music I like. The other day she called and I could hear Lady Gaga in the background at her house and meanwhile I'm listening to Rudy Vallee. She was a flower child born in 51' raised by a man born in 1908 and I guess, like you, I'm more like my grandparents than my own mother. You're so lucky to still have your grandma with you

 

[Snowdrop]

Me too! My mother was really supportive of it when I was at school, she didn't like the bowl cut I had too much but she did love the shift dresses and made me so many of them, they were fab. She did teach me everything I know about sewing too.
We don't really talk much at the moment, we have always had a tricky relationship. I'm not sure what she would think of my Vintage passion. She doesn't like the swing/big band music so I am guessing she wont like the clothing either. I think it reminds her of growing up too much and hearing my Grandma play it.
My Grandma, who is more like my Mother loves it! She lets me rummage around her gloves and bags and is sorry she threw 'this and that' away. She's great for tips and hints even though she is bed bound now I just know if she could get out she would come shopping with me. She loved clothes and she always looked immaculate in pictures.
She taught me how to knit, crochet & bake and gave me the love of swing music, taught me how to make preserves, play the piano, curl my hair and tells me stories of how her mother and grandmother used to save up with their friends and each month one of them would pool money to get a perm with a machine. She tells me of how she and her sister used to come in from dancing and Nanny would lend them her furs. She even let me have her prized vintage scales and wicker shopping basket and her beautiful silver. She's just about the best friend I ever had next to my Grandad. He thought I was so wonderful I could have walked around in a bin liner and he would have said I looked 'Grand'

That's so nice! I was close to my grandparents too, I adored my nana and I think I thought my grandpa just about hung the moon. I know my love of vintage things comes from them, they lived close by, so I saw them almost every day and would stay with them every weekend with my sister. I'd watch old black and white movies with my grandpa and my nana would play Frank Sinatra and Glenn Miller records whilst she cooked and she'd tell me about all her favourite movie stars.
She loved that I liked the fashions she'd worn when she was young, but sadly, I'm 5 inches taller and 4 dress sizes smaller than she was, so not many of the things she kept fit me. I have a couple of cardigans and some beautiful brooches, pins and purses that belonged to her and I keep a little bottle of her perfume on my dressing table.

My Mom has always been more about the 'here and now', but she likes vintage fashions (not that she'd ever wear it herself), but like all you other ladies have mentioned, she too HATES red lipstick!

 

[BunnyLamarr]

I had a difficult relationship with my mom until I was in my late 30s, but she still doesn't get why I look the way I do or why I like the music I like. The other day she called and I could hear Lady Gaga in the background at her house and meanwhile I'm listening to Rudy Vallee. She was a flower child born in 51' raised by a man born in 1908 and I guess, like you, I'm more like my grandparents than my own mother. You're so lucky to still have your grandma with you

I am! She is marvellous My mother is very smart, classically so. She looked like Elizabeth Taylor when she was young and was so beautiful but she's always been a bit 'icy'. I don't think she means it but she's hard to reach. My Grandma and I still have good giggle together and before she was in so much pain she was just about the best fun you could ever have.
I don't expect my relationship with my Mother to improve any time soon, I suppose it's just something I am learning to live with

That's so nice! I was close to my grandparents too, I adored my nana and I think I thought my grandpa just about hung the moon. I know my love of vintage things comes from them, they lived close by, so I saw them almost every day and would stay with them every weekend with my sister. I'd watch old black and white movies with my grandpa and my nana would play Frank Sinatra and Glenn Miller records whilst she cooked and she'd tell me about all her favourite movie stars.
She loved that I liked the fashions she'd worn when she was young, but sadly, I'm 5 inches taller and 4 dress sizes smaller than she was, so not many of the things she kept fit me. I have a couple of cardigans and some beautiful brooches, pins and purses that belonged to her and I keep a little bottle of her perfume on my dressing table.

My Mom has always been more about the 'here and now', but she likes vintage fashions (not that she'd ever wear it herself), but like all you other ladies have mentioned, she too HATES red lipstick!

I think my Grandad did too we were pooh and christopher robin!
I have the opposite problem, Grandma is tiny, size 3 feet and dainty hands. I do have some jewellery and even a brooch from her Grandma. She has promised to leave me her wartime wedding and engagement rings, they are so small!
I shouldn't think my mother would like the red lipstick, I would probably get a 'strawberry jam' comment or something like that but I really don't care. It's nice to feel smart and on a grey English day there's nothing better than red lipstick and a bright housecoat to blow the blues away

 

[Juliet]

Come to think of it, there is one thing that bugs me to no end. When I dress up to achieve a most elegant and dignified look, and my calm, solemn mother practically squeals: "You're are so cute!!!". Which has me checking for things that might be wrong all over)))
But I suppose it's not the worst thing ever)))


Edit: Just to clarify, she never does that when I'm actually going for the "cute look"!

 

[Hey_Laaaaaady!]

About the lipstick, it must be a 'mom' thing, because my mom *always* tells me that I'm "wearing too much lipstick". It never fails.

 

[rue]

Yesterday when I was talking to my mom on the phone (she lives in Arizona) she asked me if I was still wearing those jelly rolls. I couldn't figure out what she was talking about and she said "you know those curly things in your hair?" I finally figured out she meant victory rolls lol

I told her no, more subdued than that, but then she asked why I can't wear my hair more natural like veronica Lake and Katharine Hepburn in Bringing up Baby :eusa_doh:

She's not a fan

 

[Miss Peach]

I think my mom even goes as far as admiration and usually seeks my help with anything remotely artistic, especially regarding style (she doesn't do the vintage look but you understand what I mean--that all-important another-girl validation).

My grandmother was epically good at putting outfits together...such a pillar to live up to. I only wish she were alive now that I have figured out who I am and could really relate to her more. My mother never liked my grandma's type of music, et.c (probably due to overkill) but I think that my love for it and for that period sort of creates a lost link between her and her own mother by way of her daughter. Fascinating how it all works.


I do wish that I didn't hinge myself on her approval in most other things, though. It can be excruciating.