Miss, Mrs. or Madam? The demise of Ms?

[Miss Caroline]

I like being called ma'am, but that very very rarely happens in the UK.
Infact, in the uk one usuall becomes accustomed to the non gender specific "OI".

I do, though, refer to myself as Miss... as I am unmarried.
I feel funny about Ms.
My mum is divorced and still goes by her married name.

 

[Emer]

I actually had this conversation with a firend of mine last week! We'd noticed on (our favorite show) "I Love Lucy," Lucy always introduces herself as "Mrs. Ricardo" or (when she wants attention) as "Mrs. Ricky Ricardo" and Ethel as "Mrs. Mertz." Very rarely do you hear them introduce themselves by their first names.

Sorry if that went a bit fftopic:

Personally, I love being called "Mrs." In the South mothers always had their children call me Miss Emer, and I really hated that. :rage: I'm married and darn proud of it! Call me Mrs. M, please. However, always being around military personel I get ma'am most of the times and that's fine too. I was taught to refer to a lady as Ms. if she was divorced or if you didn't know her marital status, and Miss if she is unmarried/never been married, even at 80 years old.

 

[dhermann1]

Sunny

Where did I get that??? Where, indeed. I always say my brain is full of a vast amount of trivia, 90% accurate.
Actually, I believe I read a story about Mary Wollstonecraft, mother of Mary Shelley, that mentioned that she styled herself Mrs., when she worked as a governess, tho she was not actually married. This would have been about 1780.

 

[scotrace]

Remember this thread?
http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=8916&highlight=demise

Yes - saved me the trouble of digging, thanks.

Mergerated. -ed

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Which begs the question: will boys, single men and married men ever be called more than "mister"?


(Yes, it's true that well-heeled young boys used to be called "master", but that fell by the wayside long ago -- about the time that young girls stopped being called "mistress".)

.

 

[Subvet642]

Which begs the question: will boys, single men and married men ever be called more than "mister"?


(Yes, it's true that well-heeled young boys used to be called "master", but that fell by the wayside long ago -- about the time that young girls stopped being called "mistress".)

.

My wife tells me (with her degree in English Lit.) that only the oldest children (male and female) in a household would be called Master or Mistress; all other children would be addressed by their first names. When I was a child, all mail addressed to me by family members would include the title "Master". I was told that this was the proper form of address until I reach my majority or I marry (I can't quite remember which).

 

[dhermann1]

My wife tells me (with her degree in English Lit.) that only the oldest children (male and female) in a household would be called Master or Mistress; all other children would be addressed by their first names. When I was a child, all mail addressed to me by family members would include the title "Master". I was told that this was the proper form of address until I reach my majority or I marry (I can't quite remember which).

According to my mother, who explained it to me when Pride and Prejudice came out some years ago, the eldest daughter would be addressed as Miss Smith, the other daughters would be Miss Jane, Miss Mary, etc.
I think little boys continued to be called master longer than little girls were called mistress.

 

[Subvet642]

According to my mother, who explained it to me when Pride and Prejudice came out some year ago, the eldest daughter would be addressed as Miss Smith, the other daughters would be Miss Jane, Miss Mary, etc.

Ah! As usual, I have "mis-remembered" her words. No wonder she gets irritated with me sometimes! [huh] You're right, of course, that is how she explaned it to me. Sorry, just a guy!

 

[DBLIII]

My wife tells me (with her degree in English Lit.) that only the oldest children (male and female) in a household would be called Master or Mistress; all other children would be addressed by their first names. When I was a child, all mail addressed to me by family members would include the title "Master". I was told that this was the proper form of address until I reach my majority or I marry (I can't quite remember which).

Correct in my case. My brother and sister were their names, I am the oldest and was always "Master" - this was at my grandparents' home, they had a very large house and had a butler, maid, and other people working for them at the house - I am not sure how to refer to them, I don't like "domestic help" at all but for lack of a decent term I will use it here with no ill intent meant. This would have been 1960 to 1965 or so. All the help called me "Master David" all the time.
Once I related this story to my wife, she immediately decided that title from my childhood has caused me to have a larger than appropriate ego. Probably true.....
In business, I see "Ms" virtually never. In fact, it's generally just a person's name without anything else. Even a doctor isn't Dr. James James, he's listed as James James, M.D.
Out in the world, one way I knew I had passed "youth" was when people in their 20s and 30s started calling me "sir." Unfortunately, I suspect I just look older because I don't wear a uniform nor a sign saying "call me sir!"

 

[Subvet642]

Correct in my case. My brother and sister were their names, I am the oldest and was always "Master" - this was at my grandparents' home, they had a very large house and had a butler, maid, and other people working for them at the house - I am not sure how to refer to them, I don't like "domestic help" at all but for lack of a decent term I will use it here with no ill intent meant. This would have been 1960 to 1965 or so. All the help called me "Master David" all the time.
Once I related this story to my wife, she immediately decided that title from my childhood has caused me to have a larger than appropriate ego. Probably true.....
In business, I see "Ms" virtually never. In fact, it's generally just a person's name without anything else. Even a doctor isn't Dr. James James, he's listed as James James, M.D.
Out in the world, one way I knew I had passed "youth" was when people in their 20s and 30s started calling me "sir." Unfortunately, I suspect I just look older because I don't wear a uniform nor a sign saying "call me sir!"

Thanks for the partial redemption! On another note, I work in a teaching hospital (goon, hired goon), and the reason for the "M.D." business is that while all M.D.'s are doctors, not all doctors are M.D.'s, some are Ph.D.'s and are not physicians. I however, address all doctors as such, whether they are M.D.'s or Ph.D.'s.

 

[Red Diabla]

For whatever it's worth, I prefer "Ms." for myself, as I'm married but kept my maiden name. And to go off even further, I kept my maiden name because it's perfect for my career, not as any sort of lack of respect to my husband or his family. Anyway, "Ms." fits the bill perfectly.

And here in California the wimmins get all huffy if they're called "ma'am". I blame it on everyone thinking that "ma'am" sounds old, and being old here is a big no-no. When I worked in Texas for a year, I got used to being called "ma'am" and now I find it extraordinary when I hear it in CA, Los Angeles in particular!

RD

 

[LizzieMaine]

And here in California the wimmins get all huffy if they're called "ma'am". I blame it on everyone thinking that "ma'am" sounds old, and being old here is a big no-no. When I worked in Texas for a year, I got used to being called "ma'am" and now I find it extraordinary when I hear it in CA, Los Angeles in particular!

RD

I've never understood the huffiness that seems to attatch to "ma'am" in some places -- it certainly isn't the case here. In this part of the country, if you're over the age of 25, you're going to get called "ma'am," and if you don't like it, well, you better get over yourself.

Do men have the same problem with being called "sir?"

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I don't like the sound of the word "ma'am". With that sharp "a", it comes out as a whiny nasal bark. "My lady" sounds much better, come to think of it.

 

[Paisley]

Miss Manners once said that if you say something makes you feel old, it makes you sound old.

 

[miss_elise]

i'm more comfortable with ma'am than with madam....

i'm a Mrs...

but at work I'm not

 

[kyda]

ms,miss or mrs

I am a Mrs and I am proud of it, I get annoyed when on mail I am a Ms or it is just my name. When I was single I always ticked Miss, I was told Ms was for a woman who could not decide if she was married or single.

My mum is no longer married and she still calls herself a Mrs in the buisness world because that is how they know her. [huh] [huh] [huh]

 

[Mrs. Merl]

I (obviously - from my screen name) love to be Mrs. Merl! I am very proud of my marital status, but I was equally proud of being single too and always made a point of Miss. I do very much dislike Ms. And I absolutely hate that when I work at the school I am very rarely introduced as Mrs. Merl. I prefer to be introduced as such and even introduce myself that way in most situations no matter the age of the acquiantance.

 

[dnjan]

It also depends upon whether you are following the Ms, etc. with a name. I have no problem saying "Ms. Smith", with the Mzz pronounced rather quickly (not Mzzzzz).
But if I didn't know that the lady's name was Smith, I would say either Miss or Mame (pronounced mamm). When I was younger I was more careful about when I used Mame, but now (being on the grey side of 50) I am not so selective. Though if a woman appears older than I am, I will tend to use Miss.

When addressing men, I can't picture using Mister (without a name) unless it is being spoken by a young child. I would always use Sir, unless the person is early teens or younger (when I probably would not use a form of address at all - just an "excuse me, but could you please ...").

Back in graduate school I had to walk through a bit of a questionable neighborhood between the University and home. If I met little kids along the way, they would either address me as "Sir" or "Honkie".

 

[Diamondback]

There are more terms, you know...

-- She Who Must Be Obeyed

.

Or the one I use for my mother:
-- The Evil Queen of Numbers. (Yes, she knows about this and even admitted it fit!)

 

[Emer]

I'm seriously contemplating introducing myself as Mrs. M from now on, follwed by a, "But you may call me Emer." When I was younger, my mother taught me to always refer to an adult as Mr. or Mrs. (Ms. ) Their Last Name until I was told by them to do otherwise. I was always a favorite of my friends' parents for this. And honestly, some of them liked it so much, I never was given permission to call them by their first names! And I think I'll start correcting those whole call me Ms.