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Clean Jokes
- Thread starter jamespowers
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A young man went off to college. Only halfway through the semester and having foolishly squandered all his money he called home.
"Dad, you won't believe it" he said. "They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our coon dog to talk!"
"That's amazing," his dad said. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him over here with $1,000 and I can get him in."
So his father sent the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds the way through 2nd semester again the money ran out. So the young man called home.
"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his father asked.
"Awesome Dad! Ole' Blue is talking up a storm, but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good results they've started to teach dogs how to read!"
"Read!?" No kidding! How do we get Ole' Blue in that program?"
Just send $2,500 and I'll get him in," came the answer.
The money promptly arrived. The young man and his girlfriend were able to live like kings & queens and buy enough marijuana and beer to last the whole semester. But in the end his father would have to find out Ole' Blue can neither talk nor read. Even though he always seemed to be able to lie his way out of trouble, the young man asked his girlfriend to help him think of a good way to tell his dad.
She thought a minute then replied, "Shoot the dog!"
When he arrived home at the end of the year his father was very excited.
"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to hear him talk and see him read something!"
"Dad, I have some grim news," replied his son. "Yesterday morning just before we left Ole' Blue was kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. He turned to me and asked, 'So is your father still messing around with that little redhead down the road?'"
With that all the color left his father's face.
"I hope you shot that damn lying dog before he causes problems with your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"You're a good son!"
After graduation the young man and his girlfriend married and went on to have long careers in politics.
"Dad, you won't believe it" he said. "They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our coon dog to talk!"
"That's amazing," his dad said. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him over here with $1,000 and I can get him in."
So his father sent the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds the way through 2nd semester again the money ran out. So the young man called home.
"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his father asked.
"Awesome Dad! Ole' Blue is talking up a storm, but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good results they've started to teach dogs how to read!"
"Read!?" No kidding! How do we get Ole' Blue in that program?"
Just send $2,500 and I'll get him in," came the answer.
The money promptly arrived. The young man and his girlfriend were able to live like kings & queens and buy enough marijuana and beer to last the whole semester. But in the end his father would have to find out Ole' Blue can neither talk nor read. Even though he always seemed to be able to lie his way out of trouble, the young man asked his girlfriend to help him think of a good way to tell his dad.
She thought a minute then replied, "Shoot the dog!"
When he arrived home at the end of the year his father was very excited.
"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to hear him talk and see him read something!"
"Dad, I have some grim news," replied his son. "Yesterday morning just before we left Ole' Blue was kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. He turned to me and asked, 'So is your father still messing around with that little redhead down the road?'"
With that all the color left his father's face.
"I hope you shot that damn lying dog before he causes problems with your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"You're a good son!"
After graduation the young man and his girlfriend married and went on to have long careers in politics.
drmaxtejeda
I'll Lock Up
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Techno
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drmaxtejeda
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Fedora Lounge is missing
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drmaxtejeda
I'll Lock Up
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Nice hat
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Sent directly from my mind to yours.
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2jakes
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2jakes
I'll Lock Up
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2jakes
I'll Lock Up
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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Sent directly from my mind to yours.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Sent directly from my mind to yours.
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"There's a man who leads a life of danger..."
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