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Clean Jokes

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MisterCairo

I'll Lock Up
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7,005
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Gads Hill, Ontario
One of my favourite Herman comics:

Screenshot_20210606-121655_Samsung Internet.jpg
 

MisterCairo

I'll Lock Up
Messages
7,005
Location
Gads Hill, Ontario
"I met a lovely older lady at the bus stop the other day, and we had a bit of a chat. At one point she bemoaned 'oh how I wish things could be like they were in the good old days''".

"So, I took away her pension book and stuffed her grandson up a chimney".

Mel Smith in Alas Smith and Jones.
 

MisterCairo

I'll Lock Up
Messages
7,005
Location
Gads Hill, Ontario
A German sheperd, a Doberman and tabby cat have died and gone to Heaven.

"Tell me, what do you believe in"? God asked the Shepard.

"I believe in discipline and training and service to my master." said the dog.

"Good. You may sit on my right side. And what do you believe in?" God asked the Doberman.

"I believe in bravery in protecting my master." he replied.

"Good, you may sit on my left side, said God. "And what do you believe in?" He asked the cat.

"I believe you're sitting in my seat." replied the cat.
 
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LostInTyme

Practically Family
I went to the Doctor for a check up. He looked me over, took my check and said time was up. Now I'm wondering what he meant.

I need a haircut. Time was when I needed a lot of them cut.

Went out for dinner last evening. I found the waiter being deliberately obsequious whilst serving the creme-de-pom-pa-dore.
 
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