Where to find other retro singles?

[FinalVestige79]

Ahhhh now I get it, thanks for the clarification.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I like that that, brother! A woman has to accept you for who you are, Chevy Caprice and all. And it sounds like the current lady in your life may just be such a woman.

Yup, I love my Caprice, and am looking at another one for 150 bucks that runs and drives, so why not? Also, looking for a 66 caprice wagon among other wagons and classic rides, and jacked up trucks. I needs a woman who can appreciate good ol' Detroit Artwork.

The new lady in my life is something else, I gotta say. She told me today how much she respected me for dealing with a couple we are friends with's problems and being honest with the gent in the relationship in telling him that he was completely wrong. It's nice to have a lady look at you for your honesty and integrity and not just if you have a flashy car, looks, and a big pocketbook.

We're going to spend a little time together tomorrow morning before she goes to the *shudders* Disturbed Concert. So, I'm considering asking her to go steady if I don't chicken out. It's sad how shy I get around a gal even when I've known her for so long!

 

[FinalVestige79]

Good luck man!! *Insert Eisenhower D-Day Speech Here*

 

[Chas]

Dating within a "scene" is risky.

My ex and I were fixtures in the Rockabilly scene here in 'Van. She pulled the plug most unexpectedly and whithin a few days it was obvious that there was almost a division of friends as well as goods & chattels. Seeing her in a social setting was decidedly too much for me, and as such I don't go out to rockabilly nites here anymore. If this was NYC, LA or London, I suppose I'd be alright, but Vancouver is rather small.

It's been several years and I've dated a little, but nothing stuck. Now I'm 46 and staring at the prospect of spending my middle age alone. Not nice. It is very hard to meet people here and I get the distinct impression that I am culturally isolated, which makes it doubly hard. I do OK in other cities, mind you. I had a dinner date inside of 12 hours after arriving in Montreal, so I know it's not me, per se.

Currently working on a plan to get the hell out of Dodge.

 

[Diamondback]

Fellow ladies and gents of the Shy Club, here is our new official mantra:

"We choose to do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard!"--John F. Kennedy (who, granted, had it easy in our field)

I think we all need to keep telling ourselves this, start seeing our respective situations as a challenge to rise to. Also, some study of basic psych and natural "tells" I think would help us all--I'm willing to take point on "textbook research" and pass along my notes as I study (and must warn that some will come from unconventional sources, along with the handicap of being--shall we say, "not entirely sane"?--which means I'm gonna have an extra helping of challenge picking up the "secret handshakes", even with my old psych profs helping bird-dog useful references.)

Tom, your shyness makes perfect sense--you're afraid to lose what you've got with her by pushing further, and you're unconsciously moving into "secure the beachhead" mode, consolidating your gains; this makes sense to us, but to some ladies it's a one-way ticket into the Dreaded "Friend" Box.

Chas, you're so right--this is why I've severed ties with everyone I worked with at the time "Amy" and I parted ways; a lot of them are "her people" and I prefer to avoid unnecessary conflict and drama.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I hate the friend box! My strategy used to be, to get to know a lady well before dating her. I didn't want to waste my time dating somebody I wasn't going to enjoy dating, you know? My ex fiance and I were friends for three years before we began dating. It was good, because I knew her oh so well and heck we even lived across the street from eachother for 2 years. But the bad was that when we split, I also lost a good friend. Now, I try not to get too close to a lady before dating her, just to avoid this. That's why I'm very unhappy that I'm falling for a friend once again.

 

[Brinybay]

hmm I find it hard, but I don't actively go to vintage related gatherings either (I should really). I went on a datingsite and in my profile I wrote about my interests and how I would like to meet men who shared them. I got ANGRY mail from non-vintage men saying I shouldn't be so narrowminded and I couldn't just be so discriminating. I closed my account quite quickly. [huh]

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid some guys are. Uh, it's a DATING site, you have a RIGHT to be "discriminating"?

Well darn, I wish I was 30ish again, I'd fly to Sweden in a heart beat!

 

[John in Covina]

Anonimity releasesthe inner monster on the web.

hmm I find it hard, but I don't actively go to vintage related gatherings either (I should really). I went on a datingsite and in my profile I wrote about my interests and how I would like to meet men who shared them. I got ANGRY mail from non-vintage men saying I shouldn't be so narrowminded and I couldn't just be so discriminating. I closed my account quite quickly. [huh]

From the time you originally posted this, I was puzzeled at the responses you got. I find those responses really strange on the part of the men on the site in your area. While it might be considered an unusual hobby / lifestyle crossover to many, the concept of "tolerance" is supposed to run really deep over there, is it just a facade of tolerance?

The idea is that you are looking for a person that fits your ideal or close enough and you're clear and concise as to some things you'd like with the hopes that there is another person not too far away that shares your interests. How does anyone get to complain about you, your life and choice of hobbies?

(It is a component of operating in the anonimity of the Web that emboldens some people to lose or shirk their inhibitions then say (write) and do things they'd NEVER do face to face with a real person.) Those people obviously don't have lives and too much time on their hands.

I'll say it again, there are a number of personals site on the web and many have some sort of specialty focus: short, tall, ethnicity and so on. A retro vintage personals would be kind of cool.

Best wishes to all in their search!

 

[Viola]

Not to sweepingly categorize any but the specific men who do that, but I and some of my girlfriends have casually observed men on dating sites who are very willing to specify physical attributes of the women THEY are looking for, i.e. "women between the ages of 21-28 who are physically fit and of such and such range of dress sizes and this range of height..." are the first to jump on women posting on the same site who have specified interests. [huh]

I guess they figured that within their own narrow scope they certainly don't want to be turned away by "prospective matches" for anything as "picky" as personality. :eusa_doh:

All those guys who act boorishly, though, leave the field open for gentlemen.

 

[Sertsa]

On men's behavior on dating sites: I have to shake my head at that, too, and I don't understand it. I guess seeing that behavior further solidifies the need to be so picky.

I'm surprised at the length of this, thread, too. I guess I'm not the only one who finds it tough to meet the right people and take that step. I suppose the region between appearing inaccessible/aloof and desperate/creepy isn't as wide as we may think.

 

[Gutshot]

appearing inaccessible/aloof and desperate/creepy

I pride myself on being able to pull all of the above off at once.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I always think it's very pathetic when somebody lists what they're looking for in somebody and it's appearances, measurements, etc. I understand age as one thing, because if you're 25 and a 65 year old is putting the moves on you, that can be uncomfortable. But honestly, I'd rather be paired with someone who has a load of personality and common interests and may not be Miss America. Than with a perfect 10 who ain't got the mental capacity to figure out a belt buckle.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Than with a perfect 10 who ain't got the mental capacity to figure out a belt buckle.

Especially if it's your belt buckle. lol


.

 

[Diamondback]

Well said, Tom, but all the personality and common interests, and even looks, in the world are worthless if you're talking about a gal who scores "Epic FAIL" on the most important thing of all: character and personal integrity.

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Now playing: John Williams - The Battle Of Endor II
via FoxyTunes

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Hah, was waiting for someone to make the belt buckle comment.

And I agree with you Diamondback. Even though my standards on morals and such have lowered when looking for a mate. I used to look specifically for ladies who beleived like I did, and were raised like I was, in a Staunch Catholic Household. You know the kind, where if you sneeze during grace, you're going to Hell? Yup, that's how I was raised. But I have turned down many a lady who has been interested in me, but I had known they had been around the block a few times and had a history of cheating on the ones they were goin' round the block with. Low Morals = Low Class.

Well said, Tom, but all the personality and common interests, and even looks, in the world are worthless if you're talking about a gal who scores "Epic FAIL" on the most important thing of all: character and personal integrity.

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Now playing: John Williams - The Battle Of Endor II
via FoxyTunes

 

[Viola]

Just a slight aside, there, AtomicEraTom, but there's a big difference between a history of cheating and just, you know, having a slight before-they-dated you history. I mean, all things in moderation, but... yeah I don't know where I'm going with this I'll be quiet now.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Just a slight aside, there, AtomicEraTom, but there's a big difference between a history of cheating and just, you know, having a slight before-they-dated you history. I mean, all things in moderation, but... yeah I don't know where I'm going with this I'll be quiet now.

I'm a firm beleiver in moderation, and I know that in a small Mayberry-esque town such as the Hamlet that we call Portage is, quite a yarn can be spun about a person, but I usually go with my gut. I know which ladies are high-mileage, and which ones aren't even near their first oil change. (I'm a car guy, not a metaphor master)

 

[Diamondback]

As Viola said, having a history of prior relationships is one thing but it's a whole different ball of wax if the person was unfaithful in them, at least IMO; even if she made poor choices earlier, if she's acknowledged they were wrong and is trying to turn it around... well, I believe a recent former politician said it best.

"I believe in forgiveness, because I have needed it."--George W. Bush

Especially with my own character-flaws, which I make no effort to hide but a spectacular one to control...

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[AtomicEraTom]

Nobody's perfect, I know I've never claimed to be. I just have little tolerance for cheating, because my ex-fiance cheated, my girlfriend before that cheated on me, and my girlfriend before, what who I was with for 3 years cheated on me with 5 guys, 4 of which were my close friends. So, being unfaithful has been an issue for me, especially since I've been a very faithful guy, even when tempted.

As Viola said, having a history of prior relationships is one thing but it's a whole different ball of wax if the person was unfaithful in them, at least IMO; even if she made poor choices earlier, if she's acknowledged they were wrong and is trying to turn it around... well, I believe a recent former politician said it best.

"I believe in forgiveness, because I have needed it."--George W. Bush

Especially with my own character-flaws, which I make no effort to hide but a spectacular one to control...

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Now playing: History Channel Club - Toccata and Fugue
via FoxyTunes

 

[Diamondback]

Understandable, being repeatedly burned by something (or even just once if it's severe enough) can lead to becoming defensive toward that something.

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