Valentines Day?

[Diamondback]

I'm awfully sorry if I frightened you Diamondback! This is a very bitter and scorned woman speaking. Don't mind me

Trust me, I understand about being bitter--I didn't get to being a jaded, cynical, prematurely-old ba***rd overnight, and being the only thing that can rival the intensity of a woman scorned, a cheesed-off full-house Asperger, didn't help much either. Guess what I'm trying to say is it's natural to be annoyed, even to seeing-red, but you have to be very careful about dealing with rage or it will eat you alive. I know, I tapped those fires within for a solid three years, and it cost me bigtime--and then took two years afterward to regain my proper frosty demeanor. (Also, given my reputation as "triggerhappy gun-nut"...)

On the other hand, at least you have the outlet of a target for your fury... in my case, I believe the girl who handed me my heart on a plate really was trying to do what she thought was best for me (despite that I had spent the previous two years gambling my life in one of the highest-risk but most effective* strategies available to protect her from a stalker ex), so I don't even have that.
*Deflection, basically diverting the threat's attention onto a more hardened target--kinda like how we tried to goad Japanese kamikazes to attack our well-armored battleships and up-gunned picket destroyers instead of the vulnerable aircraft carriers--sorry, History student, I tend to draw such parallels for everything.

 

[C-dot]

*Deflection, basically diverting the threat's attention onto a more hardened target--kinda like how we tried to goad Japanese kamikazes to attack our well-armored battleships and up-gunned picket destroyers instead of the vulnerable aircraft carriers--sorry, History student, I tend to draw such parallels for everything.

I think I have a crush on you! I didn't study history in post-secondary, but in high school I won a few awards for it. Please do not apologize, I do the same thing and seldom meet people who understand.

 

[Zip Gun Aria]

In the past, I tended toward romantic gestures in the manner of Chrétien de Troyes and the troubadours: acrostics based on the recipient's name, contrapuntal pieces derived from same with pitches substituted for letters. These tended not to be understood. I've since learned that the most important gesture is to be attentive and flirtatious no matter what, plan the night loosely, and wait to hone details in future cases when one's beloved has become as familiar in her desires as when being desired.

Commercialized holidays usually annoy me, but I rather like the principle of Valentine's Day. If only there were a way to confine the holiday's cultural importance to those who actually enjoy it. Then the day wouldn't be used to torture those who are unattached or involved in glacial relationships.

Whether literal or merely literary, I've always loved the story of Dante fainting when he first saw Beatrice in the other world (Purgatorio 31). I grew up playing Chopin and Scriabin and reading Poe and Keats. Though I'm sure critics could point out to me what they felt were the patriarchal and patronizing aspects of Romantic Love, I'm more inclined to focus on its beauty.

Here's a book I enjoy reading on Val Day when I'm not attached: A Lover's Discourse, by Roland Barthes. It reads like Proust analyzing every possible romantic scenario from Goethe, 40s noir and 60s French new wave. I particularly like the entry, "Dark Glasses" (concerning the practice of wearing shades so that others won't see you've been crying, even though that is precisely how they deduce your secret).

Some critics think the book is cold simply because it is analytical, but that is far from true. These are the same people who think Bach and Webern are emotionless because they are cerebral as well as emotional. Such critics are so accustomed to button-pushing pabulum that they think something's missing when exposed to works of art that have everything. Like the haunted suitor in his scenarios, Barthes makes lists -- only to render the effect of rejection more painful.

The effect on the reader, however, is one of catharsis. A Lover's Discourse is an exorcism for the heartsick predicated on the idea that the lonely reader is not alone.

 

[Diamondback]

fftopic:

I think I have a crush on you!

Bad idea, bella ragazza--as much of a nuisance as they are, there are good reasons I'm firmly stuck in the "single and hating every picosecond of it" demographic, like certain traits that make me extremely difficult to employ outside of specialized niches. Besides, I don't mean to intrude but don't you already have somebody--and somebody I wouldn't wanna go toe-to-toe with?

I didn't study history in post-secondary, but in high school I won a few awards for it. Please do not apologize, I do the same thing and seldom meet people who understand.

Actually, I got my AA in Business, then threw it all away to restart as a History major--still looking for a college that can handle my unique set of issues as a condition of enrollment. Plan is to finish my BA, if by some miracle I can get an officer's commission in the US Army at my age to go for it, eventually a Masters in WWII Studies (thesis already being written: a new look at what made MacArthur tick, basically I believe he had the same neurological condition as I do and was the greatest of our breed--PM if interested), eventually a PhD in either Military History or Forensic Psych and eventual retirement to a community-college WWII History classroom. "Line it up and draw the parallels" is actually something I picked up from a "brain donor", the fictional Professor David Webb. (You might know him better as his other personality, "Jason Bourne"...)

 

[Harp]

O, human love! thou spirit given
On Earth, of all we hope in Heaven!
Which fall'st into the soul like rain...

Edgar Allan Poe, Tamerlane

 

[C-dot]

Edgar Allan Poe, Tamerlane

I was waiting for you to bring us a romantic poem!

 

[Harp]

Your wish is my command fair lady.

 

[23SkidooWithYou]

I was never big on Valentine's Day. As a child, we used to take decorated shoe boxes to school on the big day and give/receive little cards. The hitch was that we had to give a card to each and every classmate. Now, not each and every classmate got along so giving/receiving to/from such a person just wreaked of insincerity. The whole thing seemed rather pointless to me. (I did enjoy the Cream Soda the teacher let us have during our little party!)

Several decades later, I still find the whole day rather silly. I don't care to fall in line with the masses so the wear red, get roses, go to dinner stuff is not my cup of tea. I usually wear black from head to toe in protest. Not because I hate romance but because I hate fake romance. Make sense? I used to watch men sweat it out at the jewelry counter, what to buy, how much to spend just having gone into debt over Christmas. I'd never want a gift that was purchased under diress, lol.

Besides, I'm an odd duck...I love rose bushes, but hate rose bouquets. Give me carnations on Feb 10th, pick up some Chinese and give my dogs some toys and spend some quality time just kicking back. Now THAT would be an awesome Valentine's Day!

As for rekindling old romances...tried that once and it was creepy. Thanks, no thanks.

 

[Harp]

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need before sun and candlelight.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning; Sonnets from the Portuguese

 

[Abyss]

I don't have any activities planned for Valentine's day, but I know several lonesome females back home who will be pleasantly befuddled to find a mysterious rose on their doorstep...

 

[ReeReeRockette]

I know I'm new here, but thought I'd share my Valentine's plans.

I'm trying to be proactive about the lack of love life, so have organised a Stylish and Single get together. Its just going to be a group of single people who meet at a bar and hang out, meeting new people, all single, and hopefully all stylish in their own way.

So far I have managed to get a few different people from different methods (twitter, facebook, forums etc) so it should be a nice little mixed group.

Better than staying in alone!

 

[Lillemor]

Don't celebrate it. Don't care. I want hub to be loving, caring and attentive 365 days a year.lol It was still considered an American thing until I moved back to Denmark at the end of 1997 and at least for me, that was the first time I saw it mass marketed in Denmark, sadly. It's not genuine sentiments I mind it's the consumer hysteria and unrealistic romantic expectations some people have of one date a year. Well, at least there's something to celebrate in February if one cares.

 

[avedwards]

I personally can't think of a more cheesy idea for a special day, and being intollerant to cheese I don't like cheesy things.

I tried to use it last year to get myself a date and failed epically. I had far more success three months after V day by just being as genuine as possible and going on a respectable date in my suit and fedora which went down well.

While I have someone to celebrate V day with, I don't think a romantic meal is in order. I think something more along the lines of dressing in grey (just because grey is possibly even more unromantic than black) and feeding the ducks as I can then at least think that I'm being charitable towards someone.

 

[BinkieBaumont]

"Here in the Swan River Colony, the Swan River times, publishes its "Book of Lurvvv" on V.D , its twenty pages of messages in the middle of the paper, people pay to declare their love to each other, its all rather bizarre, full of cheesy "Pet" names for each other, and "Inside jokes" I will have to scan it and post, pass me the bucket!

 

[BinkieBaumont]

I was never big on Valentine's Day. As a child, we used to take decorated shoe boxes to school on the big day and give/receive little cards. The hitch was that we had to give a card to each and every classmate. Now, not each and every classmate got along so giving/receiving to/from such a person just wreaked of insincerity.

.

"Oh I hope you didn't all grow up to be "Swingers"

 

[Harp]

I don't have any activities planned for Valentine's day, but I know several lonesome females back home who will be pleasantly befuddled to find a mysterious rose on their doorstep...

Like your style Abyss. :eusa_clap

 

[Carlisle Blues]

Valentine's Day is for those who forget to be loving and attentive the rest of the year. If unattached it is a great way to break the ice with someone with a flower or some chocolate or even a kind word or act.

I think going to where ever the person is and cooking "Stir Fry Sophia" (Prawns) would be the ticket...

 

[Foofoogal]

Goodness gracious people. Any day anyone can come up with that one may have a slight chance of getting chocolate is a "good" day.
or a shrimp/lobster dinner. lol

 

[Foofoogal]

yummmmmyyyy....lol

 

[JimWagner]

Well, I feel kind of sorry for all the bitterness in this thread.

I've been married for 38 years and while I don't go overboard on Valentines day I don't ignore it either. Wife says she doesn't care if I do anything or not but I know better than to actually believe that. So she'll get a card and dinner at a nice restaurant and she'll mist up a little (like always).