Tragic dimensions to what we do?

[Foofoogal]

Congratulations Honey Bee. We just had our first grandson also first week in August. So exciting.
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There is a point where we no longer have our stuff but our stuff has us. I think it is wise to stop when one is at that point and only the person can decide for themselves when this is.

I would like to think collecting is only part of who I am, not the whole me.

 

[Mav]

Never been a collector; in fact, I'm a bit of a minimalist when it comes to "stuff." Except for reference books.
But, until a couple of years ago, I was an obsessive "do- er"- I jumped feet- first into anything that struck my fancy and did it to almost the exclusion of everything else. Martial arts (while also being a workaholic- that was a pain- in- the- ass), archery, Harleys, what some would consider heretical spiritual practices, etc.. Much of it somewhat bizarre, at least by accepted standards.
The result is the same: I learned a lot about those particular things, but also missed out on a lot of what is generally considered a "normal" life. No kids, a couple of failed marriages, I'm culturally clueless, etc.. I think this falls into the same category as collecting, in a lot of ways.
The key is "balance."
Yeah, yeah, we all know this. Everyone has seen a Yin- Yang symbol, and grasps it's meaning. The trick is in putting it into practice. There are some basic things that we need to do as humans: socialize, have intimate relationships, have a somewhat diverse circle of friends, hold down a job, laugh (a lot)...the list goes on. If what you are doing (or collecting) cuts into your basic human functionality, you've got a problem, and need to dial it back. I don't call it "obsession" -that's a bit of an unnecessary judgement call, and better reserved for the blowback of other practices, which I don't discuss publically.
However, this requires a serious application of the words written above the door of the Temple at Delphi, and that is an incredibley difficult thing to do. Maybe the most difficult endeavour there is.

 

[Flat Foot Floey]

Since you bring it up, there are a couple of other issues that are possibly involved with "what we do here." Some people on this forum seem very unhappy in their disdain for modern style, culture, modern times.

If someone is happy doing their own thing, great. But when they become obsessed with how awful modern times are and how much better they were back in the day etc, then they are setting themselves up for a pretty unhappy life.

If this describes anyone reading, think about it. If it does not describe you, then it is all good.

:arated:

That's pretty much what I think every time when I read negative statements about modern life. Some things were better some things were far worse (I live in germany...need to say more?)

I am happy with my hobbys but maybe I am not excessive enough to judge the problem.
The Vintage stuff even helps me to expand my social contacts. Much of my friends/acquaintances from my teens are into Punk or Mod/Skin subculture.

Now that I grow older I talk to and write with people from all kinda social groups. We often share the love for clothes and swing music. So I would call this a rather social hobby....and not a "freak thing"

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

@ Honey Bee:

Congradulations

Yeah, for me it is creating my own 'bubble' from the insanity. Parents, family...that's pretty much a no-go area for me. So it's up to me to establish my own 'bubble'...lol

Although, I'd like to move my bubble closer to the sea. It would be nice going for a walk along a deserted beach every so often. I don't get out much with my CFS, and I think that would afford me the best of both worlds.

I haven't been to crazy about things going on at my apt. lately...*sighs*

 

[kampkatz]

If we look at life realistically, what it all boils down to is relationships. Jobs, hobbies, pastimes, etc., are all additional(some more important than others).
No thing should ever be more important than the people who are closest to us. If you are a spiritual person, you probably believe that after this life there is something on the "other side." Loved ones who passed away before us are hopefully waiting for us. After we are gone it doesn't matter what material things we leave behind(for the most part). The important thing is that we tried to make life a little better for those around us.

 

[John in Covina]

Here in the Observation Bar section we've had some terrific threads and one of the things that comes up is the seperation from the ordinary. We seek something that is not really in existance now with only a few hold over pockets. Many "regular" people have no appreciation or understanding of vintage or even of a concept of collecting things. In some places if you are too far from the ordinary you'll find that people will be disdainful towards you as a person or towards your hobbies. Part of this can be seperation due to non-acceptance.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

^ I totally agree. And living in a small town kind of exacerbates the situation. It also makes what is really a rather small 'problem', blown way out of proportion due to how 'extreme' the situation is. So it is partly due to the physical reality, but also partly a psychological/spiritual/emotional situation to deal with.

I think that if I lived in an area more 'open' to this sort of thing, the psychological/spiritual/emotional aspect would be downplayed in equal proportion...in other words, it wouldn't 'feel' so bad.

 

[Foofoogal]

Prien. You could possibly understand my sheer blouse thread on the Powder room. lol lol
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Just saying.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

I had to go read it and...well...yep. lol

In small towns, it seems like everything is blown out of proportion. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time with the mentality. Things that I don't think anything of, most of the people in the town get hysterics over...

*sighs* [huh]

 

[LizzieMaine]

I had to go read it and...well...yep. lol

In small towns, it seems like everything is blown out of proportion. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time with the mentality. Things that I don't think anything of, most of the people in the town get hysterics over...

*sighs* [huh]

Interesting. I've lived my entire life in small towns, and I've never run into that kind of mentality myself -- just the opposite, in fact. People in this part of the country are the most live-and-let-live sorts you'll ever meet -- they're raised to believe, first and foremost, in minding their own business. The only grief I've ever gotten for being a non-modern type of person has been in cities -- where non-conformity is fine, but only if it's the fashionable kind of non-conformity.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

Oh - that's cool that it isn't a 'stereotypical small town' sort of thing. For example in my town, there was hysterics over the high school's 'Day of Silence' - the awareness of the GLB-T community. The police even had to be at the school to keep away reporters.

[huh]

 

[Undertow]

Interesting. I've lived my entire life in small towns, and I've never run into that kind of mentality myself -- just the opposite, in fact. People in this part of the country are the most live-and-let-live sorts you'll ever meet -- they're raised to believe, first and foremost, in minding their own business. The only grief I've ever gotten for being a non-modern type of person has been in cities -- where non-conformity is fine, but only if it's the fashionable kind of non-conformity.

I think it depends on the town, the folks that have been there all their lives, the region, etc.

There are some small towns in Iowa so backwards, it hurts to bend over because they're so far twisted around. On the other hand, there are some small towns that are as accepting and open as any. [huh]

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think it depends on the town, the folks that have been there all their lives, the region, etc.

There are some small towns in Iowa so backwards, it hurts to bend over because they're so far twisted around. On the other hand, there are some small towns that are as accepting and open as any. [huh]

The problems here don't come from those of us who were born or raised here, interestingly enough. It's the people from away who tend to be the meddlers and the busybodies. Minding our own business is a central tenet of the Northern New England character -- it's not so much a matter of "acceptance", because acceptance implies that we actually care what other people are doing with their own personal matters. We *don't.* We're not out to convert other people to our way of thinking, and we have no interest in being converted to anyone else's. You mind your business, I'll mind mine, and we'll get along fine. We don't need each other's "acceptance" to get along -- respect for privacy and personal dignity are far, far more important in the way we think here.

The concept of "acceptance" bothers me, a lot. It implies that someone thinks they have some kind of authority to be "accepting" of a lesser person. Who is *anyone* to presume that they have that right?

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

I agree with what Undertow said. I also like what LizzieMaine said.

Here where I live it's the exact opposite. I don't want this to be taken as 'bashing Christians' (because not all are 'socially conservative'), but this town has a population of approx. 5,000 people. I counted 22 churches* that have a Danville listing. And this relates with what I mentioned above about the 'Day of Silence'. No one pressured anyone to take part in it, it was all voluntary for the students. But there was such an uproar over it that it left me perplexed. I had said to my mom (who is Roman Catholic) that, I didn't understand all the fuss because there were GLB-T people prior to Christianity and there will be GLB-T people till the end of time...so...why make such a fuss over something one has no control over? She agreed.

In the end, and I wasn't the only one that noticed this, that the whole scenario just proved the point of the 'Day of Silence'.

I like the outlook that LizzieMaine's 'area' has. That's how I feel. We won't agree on everything (besides that'd make for a boring world) but there is a way to just 'agree to disagree' with respect and simply respect another. There's no need for hysterics.

LizzieMaine: "We don't need each other's "acceptance" to get along -- respect for privacy and personal dignity are far, far more important in the way we think here."

Well said! I just wish that was the case where I live... Even the cafe I frequent, they had a GLB-T thing they hosted and the person who was the garbage collector just up and stopped collecting the garbage for the owner because hosting the meeting was against his beliefs! The sad thing is, the garbage man never even gave so much as a courtesy call to let the owner know...he just up and stopped collecting the garbage.

[huh]

*There are so many churches here because when the town was founded and growing there were 'break-away' members that broke away from the original church and started their own.

 

[Undertow]

I agree with what Undertow said. I also like what LizzieMaine said.

Here where I live it's the exact opposite. I don't want this to be taken as 'bashing Christians' (because not all are 'socially conservative'), but this town has a population of approx. 5,000 people. I counted 22 churches* that have a Danville listing. And this relates with what I mentioned above about the 'Day of Silence'. No one pressured anyone to take part in it, it was all voluntary for the students. But there was such an uproar over it that it left me perplexed. I had said to my mom (who is Roman Catholic) that, I didn't understand all the fuss because there were GLB-T people prior to Christianity and there will be GLB-T people till the end of time...so...why make such a fuss over something one has no control over? She agreed.

In the end, and I wasn't the only one that noticed this, that the whole scenario just proved the point of the 'Day of Silence'.

I like the outlook that LizzieMaine's 'area' has. That's how I feel. We won't agree on everything (besides that'd make for a boring world) but there is a way to just 'agree to disagree' with respect and simply respect another. There's no need for hysterics.

LizzieMaine: "We don't need each other's "acceptance" to get along -- respect for privacy and personal dignity are far, far more important in the way we think here."

Well said! I just wish that was the case where I live... Even the cafe I frequent, they had a GLB-T thing they hosted and the person who was the garbage collector just up and stopped collecting the garbage for the owner because hosting the meeting was against his beliefs! The sad thing is, the garbage man never even gave so much as a courtesy call to let the owner know...he just up and stopped collecting the garbage.

[huh]

*There are so many churches here because when the town was founded and growing there were 'break-away' members that broke away from the original church and started their own.

I don't want to step on any toes, but your story is so unfortunate.

I know if a person has principles they should stand up for those beliefs, defend them if necessary and they shouldn't allow social change to sway them unreasonably.

On the other hand, although tolerance and diversity are subjective terms that carry alot of emotional weight with people, I think history has shown just how dangerous ignorance and intolerance can be.

I believe if you have a professional obligation, or professional responsibility, ethics dictate you should fulfill your contract to the best of your ability and not allow personal distaste to cloud your obligations.

 

[LizzieMaine]

On the other hand, although tolerance and diversity are subjective terms that carry alot of emotional weight with people, I think history has shown just how dangerous ignorance and intolerance can be.

I think the problem with "tolerance" is that it implies "well, we *tolerate* you, but you're still One Of Those Other People." Too many people today are so busy congratulating themselves for being "tolerant" that they can't see the hypocrisy involved. If they actually, deep down, considered Those Other People their true equals, they wouldn't have to fuss so much about "tolerating" them.

It goes back to what I said before about respect for human dignity and privacy. If you've got those, everything else is irrelevant. These are the "Small Town Golden Era Values" I was taught growing up, and I still live by them today.

 

[Richard Warren]

I agree with what Undertow said. I also like what LizzieMaine said.

Here where I live it's the exact opposite. I don't want this to be taken as 'bashing Christians' (because not all are 'socially conservative'), but this town has a population of approx. 5,000 people. I counted 22 churches* that have a Danville listing. And this relates with what I mentioned above about the 'Day of Silence'. No one pressured anyone to take part in it, it was all voluntary for the students. But there was such an uproar over it that it left me perplexed. I had said to my mom (who is Roman Catholic) that, I didn't understand all the fuss because there were GLB-T people prior to Christianity and there will be GLB-T people till the end of time...so...why make such a fuss over something one has no control over? She agreed.

In the end, and I wasn't the only one that noticed this, that the whole scenario just proved the point of the 'Day of Silence'.

I like the outlook that LizzieMaine's 'area' has. That's how I feel. We won't agree on everything (besides that'd make for a boring world) but there is a way to just 'agree to disagree' with respect and simply respect another. There's no need for hysterics.

LizzieMaine: "We don't need each other's "acceptance" to get along -- respect for privacy and personal dignity are far, far more important in the way we think here."

Well said! I just wish that was the case where I live... Even the cafe I frequent, they had a GLB-T thing they hosted and the person who was the garbage collector just up and stopped collecting the garbage for the owner because hosting the meeting was against his beliefs! The sad thing is, the garbage man never even gave so much as a courtesy call to let the owner know...he just up and stopped collecting the garbage.

[huh]

*There are so many churches here because when the town was founded and growing there were 'break-away' members that broke away from the original church and started their own.

Must be tough to live in a town with that many churches. Maybe you should move somewhere else.

 

[noonblueapples]

Interesting. I've lived my entire life in small towns, and I've never run into that kind of mentality myself -- just the opposite, in fact. People in this part of the country are the most live-and-let-live sorts you'll ever meet -- they're raised to believe, first and foremost, in minding their own business. The only grief I've ever gotten for being a non-modern type of person has been in cities -- where non-conformity is fine, but only if it's the fashionable kind of non-conformity.

I only see that in small towns when it is people that are all alike. Born and bred in the same town, so sure they accept each other.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

We don't need each other's "acceptance" to get along -- respect for privacy and personal dignity are far, far more important in the way we think here.

The concept of "acceptance" bothers me, a lot. It implies that someone thinks they have some kind of authority to be "accepting" of a lesser person. Who is *anyone* to presume that they have that right?

I agree with this, I just think there is not an easy word for this concept, and people like easy words and so misuse 'acceptance' a lot.

Granted, not everyone who says 'acceptance' means the 'respect for differences' side of it.....but I know at least some do.

 

[LizzieMaine]

In my experience it's been a matter of attitude more than a matter of where people came from. One of our closest family friends when I was growing up was a fellow From Away -- upper class, came from a rather privileged background, as different from the rest of the people in the neighborhood as you'd ever see, the only person on the street who'd been to college, in fact -- but he didn't wear that on his sleeve. He didn't come into town with the attitude of "OK, now I'm gonna show you rubes what it's all about." He respected us, without condesencion, without expecting any special treatment or deference, without telling us how he expected us to live our lives, and we respected him back. That's how it goes. Respect us, we'll respect you.