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This generation of kids...

Tiller

Practically Family
Messages
637
Location
Upstate, New York
I think the converse is true, actually. People rarely get what they deserve.

In the end I believe we all get what we deserve. In my mind a man like Hitler not ultimately being punished by a higher being, or ending up having the same end result as a Mother Theresa is an unbearable idea. I'd have a hard time having much love for life if I didn't believe that in the end the just are rewarded and evil punished. I'm not sure how atheist do it, but I admire them that they can.

But I'll just leave it at that. Talking about religion is the only thing more dangerous then talking about politics.

When it comes to ethics this statement from Senator Roark in the film Sin City rings true:

"Power don't come from a badge or a gun. Power comes from lying. Lying big and gettin' the whole damn world to play along with you. Once you've got everybody agreeing with what they know in their hearts ain't true, you've got 'em by the balls."

Mankind basic nature hasn't changed since recorded history. Whether your reading the Old Testament, The Art of War, or any other ancient text that deals with the thoughts ideas of the ancients, you will see the same sins that are around today. In many ways the only difference between mankind today, and then is the level of technology which has opened up a greater connected world, but in the end human weaknesses are today what they where during the time of Sun Wu, and that is never going to change. The seven deadly sins live in all of us, whether we end up falling for greed or pride because we think we know better, doesn't make much difference. Even the culture of the Golden Age had it's weaknesses, and utopia will never exist on the planet, and quite honestly in many ways thank God for that. I wouldn't want to live in a Utopian society.
 
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LizzieMaine

Bartender
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33,766
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Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
The problem with that view, though, is that it offers a lazy way to rationalize abuses -- something we see way too much of in modern culture for my taste. "It's always been like this, so why fight it? Why not grab yours, no matter who it injures, because if you don't someone else will anyway. The poor you will always have with you. Theft and exploitation's always existed, so why try to punish it? Murder has existed since the days of Cain and Abel, so it's just one of those things, you know? Oh those conquerors, always trying to overrun the defenseless. Chuckle, chuckle, boys will be boys."

Nope, sorry, not for me, thanks.
 
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Tiller

Practically Family
Messages
637
Location
Upstate, New York
The problem with that view, though, is that it offers a lazy way to rationalize abuses -- something we see way too much of in modern culture for my taste. "It's always been like this, so why fight it? Why not grab yours, no matter who it injures, because if you don't someone else will anyway. The poor you will always have with you. Theft and exploitation's always existed, so why try to punish it? Murder has existed since the days of Cain and Abel, so it's just one of those things, you know? Oh those conquerors, always trying to overrun the defenseless. Chuckle, chuckle, boys will be boys."

Nope, sorry, not for me, thanks.

As Edgar Allen Poe said in Some Word with A Mummy,

The Count merely said that Great Movements were awfully common things in his day, and as for Progress, it was at one time quite a nuisance, but it never progressed.

It's one thing to stand up for ideals of justice, its another to believe that our generation will succeed where every other has failed. Our time will pass and we won't be any closer to universal justice. I just think your a bit idealistic about this whole thing, but that's me.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
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33,766
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Well, I have no hope whatsoever that this generation will achieve that goal, if that's any consolation. My only consolation is knowing I won't live to see the end result.

No one claims that the generation born between 1900 and 1930 created a utopia, or even wanted to. But no one who understands the cultural history of the 1930s in America can doubt that, by and large, that generation sincerely tried to leave the world a better place than the one they were born into. And in a great many ways they did succeed -- at least for a while.
 
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PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
To me it's about the striving and not giving up-- the things we CAN control. It's that kind of hope and stick-to-it as opposed to sticking it to others that has been greatly reduced in our current cultural conscience (generally speaking).
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
I got a 65/70. I know I can be easily manipulated by certain things, especially situations I understand. I've been known to be too far generous when it comes to excusing certain behaviors in others. (If I think I am being manipulated, heaven help you, though.)

I've been bothered for two days now after a discussion I had with an acquaintance (whom I really like) who said she feared she was too old to get married, and her ex-boyfriend told her she was too educated to be a good wife. It's kind of haunting me because I can really see how easily I could be in her situation and how bad I could feel.

Yeah, I'd not make a good social worker or healthcare provider (pyschologist, nurse, doctor).
 

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
I've been bothered for two days now after a discussion I had with an acquaintance (whom I really like) who said she feared she was too old to get married, and her ex-boyfriend told her she was too educated to be a good wife. It's kind of haunting me because I can really see how easily I could be in her situation and how bad I could feel.

I think it's important to respect the dignity and rights of others, and it's good to understand feelings and live by the Golden Rule, yet one can do that without taking on the feelings and problems of others. Otherwise no one would be happy and nothing would be accomplished. Of course if one is a leader, then it is their job to make sure that their employees aren't exploited.
 

Juliet

A-List Customer
Messages
368
Location
Stranded in Hungary
I've been bothered for two days now after a discussion I had with an acquaintance (whom I really like) who said she feared she was too old to get married, and her ex-boyfriend told her she was too educated to be a good wife. It's kind of haunting me because I can really see how easily I could be in her situation and how bad I could feel.

What does it mean "too educated to be a good wife" ? This isn't an outraged outburst, I'm just curious what exactly does that mean?


P.S. I posted more in the last days than in my entire life, I think. Just to be un-ladylike for once, being on sick leave sucks.
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
It means the ex-boyfriend who said it is an insecure idiot.

Yes. I've seen plenty of people with this attitude, men and women alike. I ran into the attitude when I was dating, so it was easy to understand what she was going through.

What does it mean "too educated to be a good wife" ? This isn't an outraged outburst, I'm just curious what exactly does that mean?

This young woman is from a culture which is very focused on being married young. (Before 30). According to her, it is very undesirable to be unmarried by age 30, she is in her mid/late twenties and worried that she will reach 30 without finding someone to marry. She told me that she is afraid her parents may get sick because they worry so much about her not being able to find someone to start a family with. (This young lady is not from the US).

This young lady will have a PhD when she finishes school, and she said that in her culture she would probably have to find another PhD, MD, or JD man to marry (or the equilvalent education). She would like to find someone in the US, as she has found that men from here tend to be more open to differences in educational level (although her ex was in the US- don't know how long he lived here or if he was born here, I really don't know much about him except he's a twit.)

I tried to convince her that she would find someone eventually, and she wasn't old at all. I have another friend who is turning 30 this year that has a very similar situation (pressure from family to get married, told by men she is too educated and makes too much money). This friend has called me crying from some of the things that were said to her.
 

Yeps

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,456
Location
Philly
told by men she is too educated and makes too much money

I don't understand how these things could not be seen as a bonus to a great woman. From my point of view, if she is educated, that is a pretty good indication that she can hold down her end of a conversation better than average, and if she makes a lot of money, hey, she doesn't have to rely on the notably unsteady work that I am in.
 

Harp

I'll Lock Up
Messages
8,508
Location
Chicago, IL US
This young lady will have a PhD when she finishes school, and she said that in her culture she would probably have to find another PhD, MD, or JD man to marry (or the equilvalent education). She would like to find someone in the US...

I tried to convince her that she would find someone eventually, and she wasn't old at all.

Tell your friend that overeducated Irish bachelors can be found in Chicago. ;)
 

Derek WC

Banned
Messages
599
Location
The Left Coast
I like smart women - Have you ever tried talking to somebody who is obviously less educated than you? It's difficult. From the Empathy test: 41/70. I tend to be fairly neutral in most things, however this test is dodgy. I would call myself empathetic, but not a pushover, while being stern - probably 50/70.

Well put, Feraud. Another way of saying it is that the guy who said it is afraid that his wife/girlfriend would be 'superior' to him, thus the insecurity.
 
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Messages
10,883
Location
Portage, Wis.
I LOVE smart women!! And I mean LOVE 'em! Nothing is more attractive to me than a woman who can carry an intelligent conversation. I don't really wanna talk about the last episode of 'The Hills' If we can talk about something of some depth, I'm happy as a clam!

I like smart women - Have you ever tried talking to somebody who is obviously less educated than you? It's difficult. From the Empathy test: 41/70. I tend to be fairly neutral in most things, however this test is dodgy. I would call myself empathetic, but not a pushover, while being stern - probably 50/70.

Well put, Feraud. Another way of saying it is that the guy who said it is afraid that his wife/girlfriend would be 'superior' to him, thus the insecurity.
 

Feraud

Bartender
Messages
17,190
Location
Hardlucksville, NY
Just want to say being empathetic and "soft", weak-willed, gullable are very different things.
Unfortunately people tend to view empathy as a type of weakness or female oriented trait. One is not a "A Man" or soft-hearted if they display empathy for others. I disagree. Being callous to the suffering of others because you watch too many YouTube videos, or the nightly news, or lack life experience is not a positive personality trait.
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
I don't understand how these things could not be seen as a bonus to a great woman.

I feel the same way, personally. I once asked my husband what he'd think and if he'd be offended if I made more than him: significantly more (which I don't, and probably won't ever, but that is due to my career choice). He stared at me for a minute and said, "We'd have more money. How is that a bad thing???!!!?? Who'd be upset about MORE MONEY???" For the education, well, I think that people should be proud of their partner if they have more degrees than them. They know how much work they take.

There was an interesting article about some of the power struggles over making more money, which a friend posted on Facebook a while ago: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/01/world/europe/01iht-letter.html. I don't really agree with anything in that article (marry before success, etc.), but my friend who posted it is the young woman who has been told this type of thing (ie, you make too much, too educated) in her relationships before. Just an example that this line of thought is still out there.
 

Fletch

I'll Lock Up
Messages
8,865
Location
Iowa - The Land That Stuff Forgot
Just want to say being empathetic and "soft", weak-willed, gullable are very different things.
Unfortunately people tend to view empathy as a type of weakness or female oriented trait. One is not a "A Man" or soft-hearted if they display empathy for others. I disagree. Being callous to the suffering of others because you watch too many YouTube videos, or the nightly news, or lack life experience is not a positive personality trait.
I don't think anyone would seriously argue that. But people do argue that "hardness" is a sign of experience in the real world, and that can excuse, or even condone, callousness to others.
 

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