The Wifely Duties

[AmateisGal]

Some feel that when people jam pack their kids weeks by day to day activities...this isn't the same as letting your child find a hobbie/interest that they feel they want to develop...its just occupying them for you...
I think too much can be bought for ease these days...when good old fashioned time and care doesn't even get taken into account...

Yep. My daughter and I make it a habit to spend quality time together and as a result, we've forged a very strong bond. Heck, she is telling me all about the boys she likes in school and what goes on with her friends. I wouldn't give up that openness for anything (though as she just started middle school, this openness may change once the teenage years hit!).

She always keeps herself busy, too, and has really started to become a little writer - at last count, she has written over 71,000 words on her fan fiction novel. Blows me away. She loves to have free time and loves to come home after school and do her own thing. That way, she's developed her own interests, and I'm completely fine with it.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

I'm enjoying this thread immensely. Reassures my belief that there are still good caring parents in this world who do know just what is of the most importance concerning children. All mine are grown except for my son who will start college next year. All of you Mothers are very impressive!
HD

 

[Nobert]

I always feel slightly sad when I hear about kids who are frantically shuttled between planned, structured activities for most of their free time. Back in the 80s and even 90s, this was something I associated with desperately "upwardly mobile" types, but now it seems to be everywhere. I think the more desperate tenor of careers these days has a bunch of parents with the living peewaddin scared out of them, terrified that their kids won't be able to compete without a well-toned leg up. Maybe two legs. Maybe five.

I'm tempted to say, "Do you want your kids to be successful financially or successful human beings?" But, not being a parent, I can afford to be serene about it.

Atomic Era Tom: Ouch. I feel for you. I was in a breakup last year that turned really, really ugly (as in "don't contact me again"). And I'm not even sure how that happened. I'm mostly over it now, but am still dealing with the fallout and leftover debris.

 

[rue]

Nowadays everyone thinks their kid is going to be the next olympian or superstar football (etc) player. I don't know where they get this idea....... It's like moving to Hollywood and thinking you're going to be a star. It's a one in a million chance. I raised my kids to be good at what they wanted and not what I thought they should be or what I thought I should have been. This whole 'stick your kid in everything to keep them busy' thing kills me.... I just don't get it. I want to ask.... "Why exactly did you have kids??? To make you millions????"

 

[AtomicEraTom]

My parents never pushed sports on us. We were taught how to fix things, how to balance budgets, and other things that my parents said we'd be able to use in the future. They always expected the very best of us when it came to grades. We were to do well and get a scholarship if we wanted to go to college. Mom and Dad always said that if we wanted to go to college, they weren't paying for it. I don't blame them and respect it. It teaches one to work harder.

Nowadays everyone thinks their kid is going to be the next olympian or superstar football (etc) player. I don't know where they get this idea....... It's like moving to Hollywood and thinking you're going to be a star. It's a one in a million chance. I raised my kids to be good at what they wanted and not what I thought they should be or what I thought I should have been. This whole 'stick your kid in everything to keep them busy' thing kills me.... I just don't get it. I want to ask.... "Why exactly did you have kids??? To make you millions????"

 

[rue]

My parents never pushed sports on us. We were taught how to fix things, how to balance budgets, and other things that my parents said we'd be able to use in the future. They always expected the very best of us when it came to grades. We were to do well and get a scholarship if we wanted to go to college. Mom and Dad always said that if we wanted to go to college, they weren't paying for it. I don't blame them and respect it. It teaches one to work harder.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.... you come from good people Tommy

 

[Gregg Axley]

Wait, dating is a sport isn't it Tom?
Agreed Tom, I put myself through college, and paid the money back.
I was good in one sport, Soccer, but my parents never pushed me to try and be another Pele.
School would have been cheaper if I had a scholarship in that sport, but I never tried to get one.
Some parents (I feel) have kids to live their lives through them, since that question was asked.
Hence the Cheerleader moms and Soccer moms, that have an almost violence towards anyone that comes between their child and the top spot in whatever activity they are in.

 

[Edward]

My parents never pushed sports on us.

Nor mine. The schools I went to did attempt to force it on me, but every games teacher ever I had learned very quickly that they could make me turn up and wear the stupid kit.... but that's all they were getting. After the twenty-three minute 1600m episode, even the most determined of them never tried to call my bluff again. Ha.

 

[jamespowers]

"Why exactly did you have kids??? To make you millions????"

Gee, I never thought of that. Maybe I am doing something wrong.

 

[jamespowers]

Nor mine. The schools I went to did attempt to force it on me, but every games teacher ever I had learned very quickly that they could make me turn up and wear the stupid kit.... but that's all they were getting. After the twenty-three minute 1600m episode, even the most determined of them never tried to call my bluff again. Ha.

That is about my story with sports. I had no use for them. I still don't even bother to watch them.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Well, I still do chase women. Nowadays, it's just gotta be downhill.

Wait, dating is a sport isn't it Tom?

 

[Edward]

I think, unfortunately, we're a much more black-and-white polarized society here. If you aren't We, you are They, and anyone who departs from the strict, accepted orthodoxy of any ideological position gets spat on. As a culture, Americans have completely and utterly lost any ability to understand nuance, and this is as true in matters of feminism as it is in anything else.

Well, there could be that. I do occasionally dabble in another, mainly US based forum which deals in politics, and I've often struggled to fathom some of the attitudes there - not least the "politics as team sport" mindset. Believe me, where I grew up a monkey could have been elected had it wrapped itself in the 'correct' flag, so I certainly have seen my fair share of blind partisanship. (Never was a truer word spoken than "patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel").

That is about my story with sports. I had no use for them. I still don't even bother to watch them.

I can't even begin to explain how much contempt I have for the very notion that sport is in any way consequential. What I despised most about it at school, however, was the amount of money I saw wasted on maintaining a gym, all sorts of other facilities, and two full-time members of staff when budgets were often short for proper, academic activities.

 

[C-dot]

Nor mine. The schools I went to did attempt to force it on me, but every games teacher ever I had learned very quickly that they could make me turn up and wear the stupid kit.... but that's all they were getting. After the twenty-three minute 1600m episode, even the most determined of them never tried to call my bluff again. Ha.

Oh, yes, me too. I had PE teachers in elementary school calling up my mother all the time to ask what was wrong with me. She would usually tell them it just wasn't my cup of tea, that I preferred academics. In high school, I took the required one PE class in first semester of grade 9, and then I never looked back. I have always hated participating in sports, especially competitive ones.

Contrary to what those teachers said, I in fact did turn out to be a well rounded and physically fit adult, and my parents never forced a sport on me.

 

[jamespowers]

Oh, yes, me too. I had PE teachers in elementary school calling up my mother all the time to ask what was wrong with me. She would usually tell them it just wasn't my cup of tea, that I preferred academics. In high school, I took the required one PE class in first semester of grade 9, and then I never looked back. I have always hated participating in sports, especially competitive ones.

Contrary to what those teachers said, I in fact did turn out to be a well rounded and physically fit adult, and my parents never forced a sport on me.

You got out with just one semester of PE?! I was stuck with it from grade school unitl the end of high school! I could have used that time for something more cerebral that is for sure. 12 years?!:eusa_doh: Especially the one quarter of square dancing.

 

[sheeplady]

You got out with just one semester of PE?! I was stuck with it from grade school unitl the end of high school! I could have used that time for something more cerebral that is for sure. 12 years?!:eusa_doh: Especially the one quarter of square dancing.

In New York state, we were required to do 4 years of high school PE for our high school diploma. (Before grade 9, we had to take it every year). So even the poor people who graduated after 3 years of high school, had to do a year of two PE classes since you needed 4 years of PE to graduate. Which I always thought was incredibly stupid.

 

[jamespowers]

In New York state, we were required to do 4 years of high school PE for our high school diploma. (Before grade 9, we had to take it every year). So even the poor people who graduated after 3 years of high school, had to do a year of two PE classes since you needed 4 years of PE to graduate. Which I always thought was incredibly stupid.

It is. My last year of high school was only about a half day---every day. I did get credit for after school work through an ROP program though. At the end I had way more credits than I needed.
I think I am the only one I know who got thrown out of PE for a quarter. lol lol lol I was bored.

 

[C-dot]

You got out with just one semester of PE?! I was stuck with it from grade school unitl the end of high school! I could have used that time for something more cerebral that is for sure. 12 years?!:eusa_doh: Especially the one quarter of square dancing.

That's awful lol The way our credit system worked was that you could choose your area in the given groups, say science courses instead of technology (for me it was the lesser of two evils), visual arts instead of music, etc. but you absolutely couldn't get out of PE at least once in your first 3 years. Does anyone remember the 12 minute run? Torture.

 

[scottyrocks]

I think, unfortunately, we're a much more black-and-white polarized society here. If you aren't We, you are They, and anyone who departs from the strict, accepted orthodoxy of any ideological position gets spat on. As a culture, Americans have completely and utterly lost any ability to understand nuance, and this is as true in matters of feminism as it is in anything else.

About ten years ago I had a friend who always started political conversations with me with ‘your man #### (insert politician's name there). I always told him that he wasn’t my man, and that I was an Independent.

After doing this to me I don’t know how many times, I told him I’d bet that if they nominated Mickey Mouse to the candidate of choice in his party, that he would vote for said rodent. And he told me in all seriousness, that yes, he would. Needless to say, I was all done having any type of meaningful conversation with him.

 

[Oldsarge]

In California elementary kids are required to have 120 minutes of PE every ten school days. There aren't any minutes requirements for any other subject. Not for reading, science, history, mathematics, none of it. But PE? Oh, yeah, you gotta do that.

 

[jamespowers]

That's awful lol The way our credit system worked was that you could choose your area in the given groups, say science courses instead of technology (for me it was the lesser of two evils), visual arts instead of music, etc. but you absolutely couldn't get out of PE at least once in your first 3 years. Does anyone remember the 12 minute run? Torture.

12 minutes? Well at least we got ten minutes where I would bail out half way and just take a participated grade on it.