The Single & Ridiculously Good-Lookin' Room

[carter]

That's not "cute", that's "looking for a carpet to make a 'special delivery' on"... lol

 

[pretty faythe]

That's not "cute", that's "looking for a carpet to make a 'special delivery' on"... lol

Buts it's Santas Little Helper lol

 

[pretty faythe]

Big delivery, wont step in that in the middle of the night

 

[fourstarbanner]

Step in? More like walk in to. Gross...

 

[thebadmamajama]

So would we call that "single and ridiculously good looking" or does it not qualify?

 

[M Tatterscratch]

OMG! *dies*

Anyone single who looks like that???

Absolutely. My old neighbourhood in Chicago is filled with chaps who look exactly like this - lack of shirt, tattoos, and all. The only drawback seems to be that they'll get you pregnant twelve times and then make you stay home for the rest of your life. But you have to get them before they're eighteen. They're married by then. [huh]

T.

 

[M Tatterscratch]

[homer simpson]Mmmmm....velcro flies...[/homer simpson]

When you look
At the hooks
On your pants
it makes you wanna dance
I say yay-yeah
I said yay-yeah
There ain't never a catch
All you gotta do is snatch
And do the Velcro Fly...

Mssrs. Gibbons and Hill

 

[LocktownDog]

You don't have the beard to make those lyrics work, Tatterscratch.

Richard

 

[LocktownDog]

Anyone who is single that looks like that, stays single so that they can play the field. Darn them. I have many many many good looking male friends who are like that. :rage: Makes me want to smack them upside their heads a few times, ones for the heck of it and ones more for good measure. (I'm sure their moms wouldn't mind) lol

That's why you need more friends like me, Faythe darling. Too old and tired to play the field, and far enough below average in the looks department where it doesn't matter anyway. lol

Richard

 

[M Tatterscratch]

You don't have the beard to make those lyrics work, Tatterscratch.

Richard

Believe me, Sir, I've watered it and watered it, and the darned thing just won't grow!

Suffering from Whisker Envy,

T.

 

[Miss Brill]

Absolutely. My old neighbourhood in Chicago is filled with chaps who look exactly like this - lack of shirt, tattoos, and all. The only drawback seems to be that they'll get you pregnant twelve times and then make you stay home for the rest of your life. But you have to get them before they're eighteen. They're married by then. [huh]

T.

The stepson of one of my friends has 5 children by 5 different women. He is from Chicago. But there are lots of guys in Tennessee who don't believe in using condoms, and lots of women who can't think of any other way to hang onto a man for the rest of his life, except by having his unwanted baby. And the "married by 18" happens to most people here too. Most everyone I went to school with got married at least by their early 20s, the funny thing is, many (most) are divorced by now, and are back on the market. It seems married people in their 30s get the "wandering eye" and let their other parts wander too.

 

[pretty faythe]

That's why you need more friends like me, Faythe darling. Too old and tired to play the field, and far enough below average in the looks department where it doesn't matter anyway. lol

Richard

Below average..pish posh.

 

[M Tatterscratch]

The stepson of one of my friends has 5 children by 5 different women. He is from Chicago. But there are lots of guys in Tennessee who don't believe in using condoms, and lots of women who can't think of any other way to hang onto a man for the rest of his life, except by having his unwanted baby. And the "married by 18" happens to most people here too. Most everyone I went to school with got married at least by their early 20s, the funny thing is, many (most) are divorced by now, and are back on the market. It seems married people in their 30s get the "wandering eye" and let their other parts wander too.

Yes indeedy, I know it. An ex of mine lives in Tennessee, and another is originally from there, so I've had quite a few looks at the wildlife. The difference, so far as I've been able to tell, is that not a lot of the rural Tennesseeans look like the tattooed chap from Incubus. More like Kevin Federline, as I think you so glibly put it.

However, there are loads and loads of pretty Mexican and Puerto Rican chaps who look just like the Incubus fellow Miss Dahlia wants running around the neighbourhood where I lived until recently. However, somewhere around 18 they traditionally seem to get some poor girl pregnant and eventually end up pushing a double stroller across Armitage with a confused and slightly teed-off look on their lovely faces.

At least they'll have prettier babies, I suppose... [huh]

Breeding Selectively,

T.

 

[Pink Dahlia]

Let me clarify here. I just want a sexy bloke with tattoos not a dumb fool who just wants to knock me up. (In case you're wondering I am not stupid enough to get knocked up just to hang onto a man.) Hope that helps clear the confusion on my type.

 

[M Tatterscratch]

Let me clarify here. I just want a sexy bloke with tattoos not a dumb fool who just wants to knock me up. (In case you're wondering I am not stupid enough to get knocked up just to hang onto a man.) Hope that helps clear the confusion on my type.

Fear not, Ms. D., I never doubted you for a moment. I just happen to know of a vast natural resource for the physical type. If your sexy tattooed bloke doesn't turn up, though, perhaps you can pull a reverse 'enry 'iggins in Logan Square and do the place a favour - Miss Dahlia's Home For Wayward Sexy Tattooed Blokes - The ladies of Chicago would build a shrine to you!

I'm planning on a similar project over here - Mr. Tatterscratches' Home For Wayward Pale, Raven-Haired, Eastern European Beauties...

 

[Pink Dahlia]

Oh I am so alone when that actually sounds like a good idea. :cry:

 

[M Tatterscratch]

Oh I am so alone when that actually sounds like a good idea. :cry:

Golly, Ms. D., that's deeply puzzling... It sounds like there are so many of you pretty Vintage-loving ladies in Arizona that I can't understand why gents haven't descended on the state like a plague of be-hatted locusts. Are the local fellows just backwards? [huh]

T.

 

[Miss Brill]

I think Brandon is Mexican and white--we have people of that mixture in Tennessee too, but the only guy I've seen who looked anything remotely like him was from Iraq.

 

[Pink Dahlia]

Golly, Ms. D., that's deeply puzzling... It sounds like there are so many of you pretty Vintage-loving ladies in Arizona that I can't understand why gents haven't descended on the state like a plague of be-hatted locusts. Are the local fellows just backwards? [huh]

T.

They must be M! If ladies like myself and the lovely Miss Lolita Haze are still single. They must be...

However, AZ is currently opening its boarders to sane gents who might like to date gorgeous gals with the world to offer. Any takers?
(But only if they are well off and can support our frivolous I mean completely necessary shopping trips. )

 

[M Tatterscratch]

They must be M! If ladies like myself and the lovely Miss Lolita Haze are still single. They must be...

However, AZ is currently opening its boarders to sane gents who might like to date gorgeous gals with the world to offer. Any takers?

MISS HAZE is SINGLE?!?!?!? For heaven's sake, I had the lady up as my wallpaper two weeks ago! What on EARTH is going ON? Something is simply NOT right out there...

If I were single and tattooed I wouldn't be typing this. I'd be packing.