The fall of proper restaurant service.

[panamag8or]

That describes the Chipotle Mexican Grill that I ate at the other day. They also had a tip jar prominently displayed at the register. lol

I would have asked the little Chipotlets exactly what have they done for me to deserve a tip.

 

[Bunno]

Staggerwing, I've noticed that too--not just making that inquiry, but any question is ALWAYS timed for right when you've just taken in a big mouthful of chow.

To be fair, most servers (or should I say when *I* was a server) we honestly don't have enough time to hawk over and make sure that you've taken a bite before coming to ask the "how is everything?" question. Most of us just stop to check when we're near your table, regardless of when your last bite was.

Its not the server's fault that most people shovel food in their mouths in a near constant rate once the dished have been served. I tease, I tease!

-Sarah

 

[Twitch]

lol lol If we all knew what even the more exclusive eateries do in the kitchens to cut corners and save money we'd all puke! I have memories from when I was in college working in a restaurant.

 

[Diamondback]

Most of us just stop to check when we're near your table, regardless of when your last bite was.

Its not the server's fault that most people shovel food in their mouths in a near constant rate once the dished have been served. I tease, I tease!

lol But even when the customer's a regular, the dining room's all but empty, and a meal's usually drawn out over two hours? (Good food cannot be rushed, and since for me every meal's a "working meal"...)

lol lol If we all knew what even the more exclusive eateries do in the kitchens to cut corners and save money we'd all puke! I have memories from when I was in college working in a restaurant.

Nice thing about the smaller local places... and about being a regular.

 

[jgilbert]

The last few time we had dined out, I have noticed if the server is say late 20's or older, they seem to have a good knowledge of their job.

If they are still in school they try hard, just may miss some things.

So maybe it is just an age thing. Thought?

 

[Easy Money]

We as a society seem to accept this poor service as the norm. A restaurant does not get a second chance to provide poor service. There are too many places that do it right, where I can spend my hard earned money. At one particular local chain here in Pittsburgh www.atrias.com I have waited at the bar for up to an hour for a table. The wait is well worth it though. Good food and outstanding service

 

[Dr Doran]

The first thing I noticed in restaurants in France, Italy, and Austria was that the waitresses and waiters were nice and considerate. Not aggressively nice, but sweet. I always tip, being an American; most people in those countries don't tip much, and yet the service was better anyway. I have not figured out why there is such a difference between Europe and the US. I suspect that there has been a snowball effect here. Servers here got hurried, thus a bit rude or at least inconsiderate; diners expected that and were a bit sharp; it kept rotating like that until we have what we have now.

I still recall a cafe in San Francisco in which the coffee bar woman, a facially pierced punk in her early 30s, wiped her hands on her filthy jeans. I see a lot of this in places where there is guaranteed business because of the foot traffic, so little effort needs to be made to keep the customers, and in places where rudeness is cool and politeness is "square."

 

[staggerwing]

A long time ago, I used to go to a little restaurant/bar/ice cream place. I noticed that one day, the girl behind the ice cream counter licked the spoon as she was preparing my hot fudge sunday - the spoon she then gave me to eat it with! It was ok, since I had the hots for her anyway, which was why I ate so much ice cream back then...still.

 

[Starius]

Keep in mind, this does go the other way around too.

In the early 70s, my mother was a waitress at a restaurant on a US Airforce base in Australia. Like Europe, tipping wasn't a custom there. Though, this was because waitresses were more respected and had much better pay than they do here in the States. In fact, at least back then, a waitress could make much better salary than an office secretary. My mother was appalled on many occasions at just how rude the US men would treat the wait staff sometimes. Though, I guess that didn't stop her from marrying one of those damn Americans...

At any rate, it brings up the idea that perhaps if our food service staff were generally treated better or paid to the extent that they didn't have to rely on tips, things would be different. Although, you really would think that the tipping system would be conducive to better service... the more comfortable you make the patron, the bigger the tip, right?

 

[Paisley]

Miss Manners says that tipping wasn't always the custom: Americans were too proud to accept tips. I work at a non-tipping job, and if someone offered me a tip, I'd be offended. So, yes, I think the whole custom of tipping is demeaning, but since servers rely on tips and it's built into their measely wages, I do tip.

 

[Riposte3]

Often when one of my servers offers a black napkin to a guest wearing black slacks, the guest looks up, confused, and says "...why?"

I'll have to plead ignorance here (of course, you can only learn something if you admit you don't know it in the first place), but I would be one of those confused guests, as I've never heard of that before. So I'll go ahead and ask: "Why?"

-Jake

 

[Dr Doran]

A long time ago, I used to go to a little restaurant/bar/ice cream place. I noticed that one day, the girl behind the ice cream counter licked the spoon as she was preparing my hot fudge sunday - the spoon she then gave me to eat it with! It was ok, since I had the hots for her anyway, which was why I ate so much ice cream back then...still.

You could have used this to your advantage.

 

[leaette]

my in-laws eat out several times a week and they just moved to our city to be close to us, so we've been eating out alot in the last few weeks. i have 2 new pet peeves at restaurants: "guys". everything is "guys": "is everything ok guys", "are you guys ready to order", "can i show you guys the dessert menu?".
ok, i'm not stuck up or anything. and i usually let a lot of things slide off my back, but this one really bothers me. we aren't eating at applebees either, these are nicer places.
and pet peeve #2: i've always been taught (and i've never even worked in a restaurant) to walk around the table, but almost every place we go now, the servers REACH ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE TABLE! grrrrrrr. can't you walk around? i don't want your arm in my face.

 

[Foofoogal]

Service seem horrible everywhere. I bought about $200.00 worth of stuff at Kohls the other day and the lady rang me up, handed me the bag and just walked away. Astonishing. No thank you or anything.
Along with bad service in restaurants I am finding a whole trend of restaurants being all hype and not that good food. Seems to be restaurants geared for younger people. Does anyone know what I mean? Put beautiful young girls around and beautiful decor and you will not realize you are paying $14.00 for a salad or whatever and not that great food. The liquor usually flows at these. :eusa_doh:
I have termed them Wally World restaurants.

 

[panamag8or]

I'll have to plead ignorance here (of course, you can only learn something if you admit you don't know it in the first place), but I would be one of those confused guests, as I've never heard of that before. So I'll go ahead and ask: "Why?"

-Jake

My guess is that it matches the pants, thus being less obtrusive. Possibly to avoid getting white lint on black pants? I had never heard of this, either, but I think it's kinda cool.

 

[$ally]

We honestly were more disappointed in the lack of table setting than anything. That has nothing to do with the server. Presentation is everything.
I think beaucaillou's point was overlooked. If it isn't appreciated, there is no point in providing the pleasant extras. If patrons will open the lemon cloth to see what the present is, then the effort is lost. Maybe there isn't a demand for many white glove establishments any longer? Perhaps most people go bowling on their anniversary these days?
I just watched a news story of the Siena Hotel's II Palio restaurant in NC offering a week long etiquette camp for children ages 8-12 in mid-June. It covers introductions, dining, car & phone manners.
http://www.sienahotel.com/
My son went to Sally's charm and finishing school. I'll hand out some free basic tips to American dinner parties, not that anyone here needs my help:
-Respect the hosts religious beliefs (saying grace) or cultural differences
-Wait until everyone is seated to put napkin in lap, where it will remain until finished with meal
-Wait for host(ess) to begin eating
-If there are some foods you can not eat, it is important to state this as far in advance as possible. Your host will want you to enjoy the meal.
-Do not eat anything that has dropped onto the table, yourself, the floor, etc (no 30 second rule!)
-Excuse yourself from the table for any kind of bodily function, if at all possible (including sneezes and flatulence)
-No elbows on the dining table
-Do not chew with mouth open
-Do not speak with mouth full
-No grotesque talk of health problems, death, carnage, toilet issues or subjects inappropriate for children if present. Avoid offensive and vulgar topics
-Do not check watch impatiently during boring conversation
-Cover mouth with napkin to cough
-Don't yawn. If unavoidable, cover mouth discreetly.
-Do not reach for a serving dish, ask politely for it to be passed unless servers are present
-Do not demand anything, ask politely with please, may I, would you mind, thank you, etc
-Do not point at item to be passed, do not point at another person
-Do not interrupt others as they are speaking
-Always answer questions with more than just a yes or no
-Try to include everyone in the conversation
-Do not talk about yourself unless asked. Avoid being an attention vampire.
-Try not to gossip about others not present
-Do not whisper to the person next to you
-If the food is not to your liking do not spit it out or make a face like a child
-Do not complain about the food if you are a guest in someone's home. In that case, if something is too rare, burned, or of poor quality, leave it on the plate. If asked, simply state tactfully that you prefer your steak well done or lie that you haven't a large appetite.
-Do not get drunk and loud (unless it's that kind of party)
-Ask to be excused before leaving the table for any reason
-Do not follow a meal with public toothpick usage
-When done, do not push your chair back, put your feet up on the table, and belch loudly.

 

[Tomasso]

-When done, do not push your chair back, put your feet up on the table, and belch loudly.

I was doing great until the last one.[huh]

 

[$ally]

I was doing great until the last one.

In some places that is considered very polite. Hopefully you are in one of those places.

 

[Twitch]

Businesses of all types seem to be running on skeleton crews for the most part. And no matter how nice or jovial the people are it won't make up for waiting in a long line because there aren't enough personnel to check you out or assist you in the store.

The apathy from service personnel is actually the norm these days.

But after my Mom died and I needed to close her account in a Washington Mutual branch I had to stand in line for 35 minutes to get it done. That's the reason I don't/won't do business with them- long waits all the time of the day.

When the manager again after several attempts asked why I was closing the the joint account I finally told her, "it's taken me 35 minutes to get outta here with one simple transaction. You don't have enough people and I know you know that. I don't care if that is corporate's fault or not. I will never do business with your bank ever again.

There's more to customer service than just saying "have a nice day."

 

[Feraud]

Oh boy.. I broke too many of these rules while dining out this weekend. :eusa_doh:

My son went to Sally's charm and finishing school. I'll hand out some free basic tips to American dinner parties, not that anyone here needs my help:
-Respect the hosts religious beliefs (saying grace) or cultural differences
-Wait until everyone is seated to put napkin in lap, where it will remain until finished with meal
-Wait for host(ess) to begin eating
-If there are some foods you can not eat, it is important to state this as far in advance as possible. Your host will want you to enjoy the meal.
-Do not eat anything that has dropped onto the table, yourself, the floor, etc (no 30 second rule!)
-Excuse yourself from the table for any kind of bodily function, if at all possible (including sneezes and flatulence)
-No elbows on the dining table
-Do not chew with mouth open
-Do not speak with mouth full
-No grotesque talk of health problems, death, carnage, toilet issues or subjects inappropriate for children if present. Avoid offensive and vulgar topics
-Do not check watch impatiently during boring conversation
-Cover mouth with napkin to cough
-Don't yawn. If unavoidable, cover mouth discreetly.
-Do not reach for a serving dish, ask politely for it to be passed unless servers are present
-Do not demand anything, ask politely with please, may I, would you mind, thank you, etc
-Do not point at item to be passed, do not point at another person
-Do not interrupt others as they are speaking
-Always answer questions with more than just a yes or no
-Try to include everyone in the conversation
-Do not talk about yourself unless asked. Avoid being an attention vampire.
-Try not to gossip about others not present
-Do not whisper to the person next to you
-If the food is not to your liking do not spit it out or make a face like a child
-Do not complain about the food if you are a guest in someone's home. In that case, if something is too rare, burned, or of poor quality, leave it on the plate. If asked, simply state tactfully that you prefer your steak well done or lie that you haven't a large appetite.
-Do not get drunk and loud (unless it's that kind of party)
-Ask to be excused before leaving the table for any reason
-Do not follow a meal with public toothpick usage
-When done, do not push your chair back, put your feet up on the table, and belch loudly.

To give credit where credit is due, I will recommend Chan's Dragon Inn in New Jersey. The restaurant has classic style in spades with regards to decor and menu and the staff is amenable towards customer requests. I found the dining experience very satisfactory.