The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

("I still ain't sueh'r'v it," sighs Alice, gazing at the voter-registration card lying before her on the kitchen table. "What'f I get arrested? Y't'ink t'eyd sen' me back t'stir?" "Neh," reassures Krause, bent over the sink as he replaces a washer in the cold-water tap. "Lemme do it, Pap," requests Willie. "Lemme do it!" Krause nods, and pulls over a chair, allowing the boy to apply the pipe wrench to the packing nut." "Caeh'f'l a' ya awrm," calls Alice, without turning around. "T'em bruises ain' heal't yet." "I'm awright," insists Willie. "It ain' nut'n." Alice sighs, and returns to her thoughts, just as there's a rapping at the window. She jumps up, and snaps the latch, swinging the window upward. A scruffy-faced youth kneeling on the sidewalk to gaze down into the basement apartment delivers a message. "Gawtta cawl f'yeh at Schreibstein's!" Alice inhales sharply, scrambles in her overall pocket for a quarter and pushes it thru the window to the youth. "Whazzat?" queries Krause. "Nut'n," shouts Alice as she drags on her jacket and races for the door....)

Soviet Premier Joseph Stalin is expected to urge upon British Prime Minister WInston Churchill the idea that the Big Three Allied powers maintain their wartime military establishments during the postwar era on a sufficient scale to deal with any aggression or threat of aggression. Speaking in Moscow at a luncheon in Churchill's honor, the Soviet leader urged that the peace-loving nations of the world "never again be caught unawares and unprepared as they were at the outbreak of the present war." With Churchill, dressed in the uniform of a British Army colonel, seated at his side, Stalin paid warm tribute to the British and American contributions to the common Allied war effort, while Churchill, for his part, rose to praise the Red Army for "tearing the guts out of the German Wehrmacht."

Governor Thomas E. Dewey today began work on a new series of campaign speeches to be delivered as he prepares for a tour of the Midwestern states, where he is expected to make his case to the nation's farmers and industrial workers. The Republican presidential nominee will make his first speech on farm issues in St. Louis on Monday.

(An ammonia tank blew up. Get over yourselves.)

("Boy, thet tharr's no bettur'n Co-Coluh," sneers the Corporal as Joe punches a hole in an olive-drab can of GI beer. "Yo' evuh had real down-home co'n whisky?" Joe snickers as he sips. "Lemme tell yeh," he laughs, "about me faw'tehr 'n lawr...")

The body of Wendell Willkie arrived today in his hometown of Rushville, Indiana, for burial in that quiet rural community where he was born. The mortal remains of the 1940 Republican Presidential nominee were carried home by special train following funeral services at the Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, where 2500 persons inside the church and more than 35,000 outside paid tribute to the man who, in a time of crisis for his country, rose to become, without the benefit of public office, the political conscience of America and the world.

(Every fall I have to decide whether "Pug Manders" or "Bruiser Kinard" is the greatest football name ever.)

(Ah, Bill Biff vomiting. We're off to a great start with this one.)

(Oh, Josephine, you and your rhetorical questions.)

(As any reader of Wodehouse knows, you can never get rid of Jeeves.)

(At least she didn't register to vote.)

(America's Number One Hero Dog hasn't yet realized he couldn't care less about the colt.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Yes, people really do use lorgnettes, if they're Lady Astor.

Another hokey count? At least he's not guilty of bigamy, yet.

Hey kid, quit whining. My senior year of high school I worked a full-time job. Uphill. IN THE SNOW.

At least until that dopey reporter showed up.

"She isn't drugged, it's sugar shock!"

"AT LAST! THE HOUSE TO MYSELF!"

Airport's that way.

Aim high, kids.

Come now, you've been around this bunch long enough to know how it goes.

Nice by-line.

 

[Fading Fast]

"Whazzat?" queries Krause.

He must have been exhausted from that speech; it was a long one for him.

*******************************************************************************

Every fall I have to decide whether "Pug Manders" or "Bruiser Kinard" is the greatest football name ever.

Can we add Bronko Nagurski to the list?

*******************************************************************************

Ah, Bill Biff vomiting. We're off to a great start with this one.

I'll still take it over Señora De Leon and the stupid plastic-surgery storyline.

*******************************************************************************

Another hokey count? At least he's not guilty of bigamy, yet.

I thought we just shot spies back then. Oh, and while not a bigamist, he'll soon be having sex with multiple partners, but they won't be his wife...or a woman.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Awright," declares Alice, her voice edged in granite. "I hoid fr'm Moskowtiz t'ot'eh night. He seen'em kids t'at beat up Willie. He gimme a poifeck d'scription. I got it wrote down'eeh onnis papeh." "Hmm," hmms Uncle Frank, putting on his glasses to examine the sheet. "Says heeere, 'Westaaarn Electric Coompany Kaaaarney Waaarks Prooduction Ordarr..." "Gimme t'at," snaps Alice, snatching back the paper. "T'at'sa confidential wawr pr'duction docyehm'nt.' She shoves the paper down her front overall pocket, and fishes a torn-off piece of butcher paper out of her back pocket. "T'is is it," she contines. "Look'eeh." "Hm," hms Uncle Frank as he reviews the pencil scrawl. "This could be a hoondred diffr'nt kids," he shrugs. "Neveh mine'at," frowns Alice. "T'eh was no school t'day, but t'marrah mawrnin' I want Danny an' Jimmy oveh by Moskowitz's. An' when'eese kids..." "Oi can't give ye Jimmy," exhales Uncle Frank. "Nora's got soom jaaahb she wants'im t'do t'marra marrnin'. She was taaaahlkin' aboot it at soopar t'night. She won' tell me what it is, but..." "We had a deal, Frank," growls Alice. "How many'a t'em cigawrs y'got left?" "Well, uh..." stammers Uncle Frank, his fingers twiddling nervously in mid-air. "I wawn' bot' t'em boys t'marrah mawrnin'," commands Alice, her fists on her hips, "awr y'gonna be suckin' Tootsie Rolls t'illey putcha inna groun'." "Oi'll see," sighs Uncle Frank from behind closed eyes, "what Oi c'n' do...")

A new high in Anglo-Soviet relations was reported from Moscow, as Marshal Joseph Stalin made an unprecedented appearance at a British Embassy dinner attended by high-ranking Russian, British, and American officials. The Soviet Premier for the first time accepted an invitation to dine at a foreign embassy, and in his remarks offered particular praise for the American war effort. While, noted Marshal Stalin, the Soviet Union and Great Britain have both played great roles in the victories over Germany, "things might have been different without the aid of the United States."

The chairman of the Republican National Committee today predicted that Pennsylvania will fall into the Dewey column in next month's election. Chairman Herbert Brownell Jr. offered that prediction as he arrived today at LaGuardia Field after a conference in Pittsburgh with Dewey campaign workers and local Republican candidates. "It looks as if Allegheny County will deliver the strongest Republican vote since 1920," he projected, adding that he has discussed the election with Governor Edward Martin, who predicted a statewide swing to Dewey.

("Queens," frowns Sally, slurping the last of her Coke, "is a regl'eh terlet." "Oh yes," nods Ma, polishing the fountain spouts as Leonora counts nickels. "I mean," continues Sally. "Lookit t'place. Crooked cawps, gamblehs, awlat stuff. C'n you IMAGINE try'na bring up a kid decent inna place like t'at?" "Ootrageous," agrees Ma. "Weeh shawrt," says Leonora. "T'ree nick'ls missin'." She glances at the locked backroom door. "Waw'mee check?" she offers. "Nevvvvvar ye moind, darrlin," hastens Ma, scooping the nickels into a bag. "Whoy don'chee go ye ovarr t'th' rack tharr, 'n read a fonnybook." Leonora frowns, and slides off her stool. "T'ree nickl's!" she fumes. as her mother gazes wonderingly. "Sometimes," Sally sighs, "it scaehs me how smawrt t'at kid is." "Yee doon't knooow th' halfoovit," exhales Ma....)

("A deep throated newcomer of the menace type." Settle down, Janie.)

(Well, condescending fathead though he may be, the old boy's not wrong.)

The Daily News announced today that it has discontinued publication of its "Presidential Battle Page" following the receipt of two complaints. The "Battle Page" had been running in the Manhattan morning tabloid for the past seventeen days, using unedited material furnished by both the Republican and Democratic National Committees, but a News spokesman said today that the feature has been terminated after complaints were heard from "a Republican," and from "a member of the CIO Political Action Committee." Democratic National Committee Chairman Robert E. Hannegan immediately denounced the cancellation, asserting that the real reason the page was dropped was because of a cartoon furnished by the DNC depicting Colonel Robert R. McCormick, publisher of the Chicago Tribune, and cousin of Daily News publisher Capt. Joseph M. Patterson, as a member of a "cellar gang" backing Governor Dewey. Hannegan also accused the News of suppressing the upcoming publication of a column discussing Senator Claude Pepper's (D-Fla.) charge that John Foster Dulles is attempting to blackmail the public into supporting Dewey on the basis of a threat to sabotage the postwar peace. Hannegan further offered to provide an indemnity bond protecting the News from libel charges if that column is published.

(I still think "Brooklyn Tigers" is a corny name for a football team, but I would imagine that seen in their full color, those uniforms are spectacular.)

(A haunted potato farm? At least it's something new.)

(They cant help but know, you run around the house at top speed all hours of the night. Maybe lay off the coffee.)

(Yeh, don't mess with Jeeves, his cousin works for Batman.)

(NOTHING GETS BY OUR SCARLET!)

(Won't it be funny when the Colt she won turns out to be a .25 automatic.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News.

Um.

In all honestly, though, canned releases from party committees and paid operatives are hardly substantive discussion of the issues.

"And so you see," elaborates Mr. Gray, "NO ONE is truly self-made. Oh, wait a minute..."

Just be sure they count the extra five points for that come discharge time.

Wait, Tilda's in love with Gus Edson?

"Yeh yeh, Herbie, that's swell. Hey, you got half a buck, long as we're in here I wanna get down a bet."

Yeah, well, you better let somebody else take the pictures.

Jeez, kid, Pat never paid this much attention to you.

What, you don't know how to tan a hide? WITH THIS KID AROUND?

This story is taking a very interesting turn.

 

[Fading Fast]

"To Have and Have Not" and "Laura," not a bad week for releases.

And as you noted, Lizzie, Ms. Corby seems smitten with Ms. Bacall: