LizzieMaine
Bartender
- Messages
- 33,715
- Location
- Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
("Yeh," continues Sally, shifting to get comfortable on Dr. Levine's couch. "I read it inna Eagle t'day. Right onna front page t'eh. Some guy prowlin' inna night wit' a skullcap awn, shoot'n gas in people's windehs. Who does'at?" "Are you asking," muses Dr. Levine, "for my professional opinion?" "I dunno," shrugs Sally. "I mean, 'ney said *I* was crazy f't'rowin' some guy offa train platfawrm. But at leas' I didn't sneak up onnim inna night an' gas 'im t'ru an open windeh. I ask ya!" "I've told you before," admonishes Dr. Levine, "I don't think you're 'crazy.' You were having what we call a 'manic episode.' From the the things you've told me, you've been prone to these types of episodes all your life." "Y'sayin'," protests Sally, "I've awrways been crazy?" "No, no," insists Dr. Levine, "and again, that's not even a clinical term. You simply are prone to what we call manic-depressive behavior. Think of your mind as a roller coaster." "I hate rolleh coastehs," mutters Sally. "Arways get sick on'm. One time at Luna Pawrk -- geez, ain' it a shame what happn't'eh wit't'at fieh. I awrways liked goin' t' Luna Pawrk. Me'n Joe useteh..." "Nevertheless," sighs Dr. Levine, her pencil tapping her pad in betrayal of her outward calm, "think of your mind as a roller coaster. Everybody has their ups and downs in life, they feel energetic and excited one day, a bit down and low another, like a country road going over hills and valleys. But for you, the ups are higheer and the lows are lower, and they come on very fast, like a roller coaster." "I still don' like it," frowns Sally. "But y'sayin'is skullcap guy is like me? I don' like t'at, okay? I *might* push a guard awffa railroad platfawrm, if 'e gets in my way, but I ain' goin'aroun' squoitin' no gas in people's windehs wit'a skullcap awn. T'at's like sump'n out'va funnybook." "I'm not saying that," exhales Dr. Levine. "I'm simply saying..." "An' b'sides," interrupts Sally, "t'at guy sneaks aroun' like a cat boigleh. If I'm gonna do sump'n, I'm gonna do it right out inna op'n wheh ev'rybody c'n see it! I ain' gonna do no sneakin' aroun'! I say what I mean an' I DO what I mean, y'get me?" "I think," sighs Dr. Levine, "we've covered enough ground for today...")
Soviet troops raced 37 miles downhill across Transylvania to within 226 miles of Budapest, the capital of Hungary, yesterday, while Berlin reported that Soviet forces had opened a massive new offensive in Southern Poland toward the heart of the highly industrialized German Silesia. From the northeast, east, and south huge forces of Red Army and Romanian troops are pouring across the eastern Carpathian mountains and the Transylvanian Alps into both Hungarian and Romanian annexed Transylvania for a giant drive toward the Hungarian plains -- the classic invasion route to Vienna and the Reich.
22 metropolitan area service stations have been shut down by the Office of Price Administration for periods of up to three months for violation of rationing regulations, following a city-wide investigation into the circulation of counterfiet gasoline coupons. Six of those stations are located in Brooklyn, eight in Queens, seven on Staten Island, and one in the Bronx.
("Hmph," hmphs Ma. "Good riddance t'bad roobish. Oi wouldn't pay foive cents t'look at th' loikes'a him." "Looks loike," snickers Uncle Frank, "he was strained thru a -- um --" "Strained thru a what?" queries Ma. "Um," ums Uncle Frank, "aaa -- ah --a -- drinkin' straaaw, loike this woon roit here." "Honestly," huffs Ma, "th' things you coom oop with...")
The socially-prominent wife of a socially-prominent Army corporal will be released on "reasonable" bail after her arrest on charges of stealing $37,000 in jewelery from her hosts at various Long Island estates. Mrs. Ann Flinchbaugh Taylor, wife of Corporal Job Taylor III, is the daughter of an Episcopal bishop and is descended from President William Henry Harrison. She was jailed on Tuesday on a pair of larceny charges, with bail set at $5000 in one case and left undetermined in another. It has been disclosed that the prosecutor in the case, Suffolk County District Attorney Fred J. Munder, plans to ask that total bail be set at least $25,000 depending on the outcome of an appraisal of the gems over the weekend. The defense has promised to seek a writ of Habeas Corpus asking that the bail be reduced to $5000. District Attorney Munder stated that Mrs. Taylor has confessed to three jewel thefts from members of her social set.
("This'll be apple sauce for me!" Love the authentic Old West slang.)
(Elmer, you enabler.)
(Another socially prominent corporal.)
(The last bearded president, and he certainly made a point of it.)
(Oh. Well, THAT'S the most anticlimactic story ever. What's next, Scarlet grouts her bathtub?)
(Jail? Sure, whatever. Just don't try it in the lobby at the Met.)
("That's not me, that's my -- ah -- mother. Isn't that right Mrs. Wor -- uh -- Ma.")