The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Seriously though, doesn't he LOOK LIKE somebody who ought to get clipped in a card game?

Um.

You know, you could have tried the laundry chute.

"Sure thing big boy. Wanna play house?"

Awwwwwwww.

Phyllis! Put down that chair!

Ma Sweeney has nothing on this kid.

Nobody ever sleeps in this neighborhood.

At least button your shirt.

His hair is sure growing back fast!

 

[LizzieMaine]

And finally...

STALIN -- doing endorsements now??? Wow, and they say Browder sold out!

 

[Fading Fast]

TRUDY KOCKENLOCKER.

Yes, a true classic.

My comments on the movie here: #29,251

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Carole Matthews! Huba huba baby.

Mr Caniff honourable mention for his drawing those Irvin shearlings and A2 leather flight jackets so tantalizingly
splendid must haves.

Sanjak. Jill in a jeep.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Thaat's the boy!" nods Ma. "Thaaat Magistrate Solomon knows whaat to do ahhhl roit! Run aaahl these amatchoors in an' poot 'em t'doin' useful waaark!" "So ye say, Nora," shrugs Uncle Frank. "Oi know Pasquale, knooow 'im well, 'e's a custooomar o'mine, an' whatevaaar else y'c'n say aboot'im, he's no amatchoor." "Joost th' same," sniffs Ma, 'Able-bodied maaan loike that's gaaht no excuse f'not doin' soomthin' pr'ductive with his toime. Put 'im t'waark in a waar plant, or put'im in th' Aaaarmy! B'side's, bookmakin's a wooman's jaahb. We don't need no men aroond muckin' things oop!" "Oi hear tharr's oopenin's farr straahng women at th' Todd Shipyaard," comments Uncle Frank, quaffing his two-cents-plain and donning his overcoat. "An' doon't think OI wouldn't if they aaaahsked me to!" roars Ma, flinging a dishcloth in his wake.)

Diplomatic observers stated today that it is likely that Russia will politely but firmly reject an offer by the United States to mediate the Russian-Polish border dispute. It was stressed by observers well versed in Soviet inner politics that such a rejection would bear no refleection on the United States itself, but rather would grow out of Russian objections to the policies of the current Polish Government in Exile. In a reply to the U. S. proposal expected shortly, Soviet Foreign Affairs Commissar V. I. Molotoff is expected to reiterate the Kremlin position that leading members of the Polish exile government are so "irredeemably hostile" to the Soviet Union as to preclude effective reconciliation. The Soviet position on the border question proposes a restoration of a border corresponding to the Curzon Line of 1919, with the Poles to be compensated for the loss of the upper Ukraine by regaining former Polish territory in the west, including East Prussia and Upper Silesia. Observers believe that if an accord on the border issue is not reached by the time the Red Army march west of the Curzon Line, Moscow may order an election in those territories and set up a new Polish government on the spot.

Japan was reported rushing strong aerial reinforcements to her threatened Southwest Pacific strongholds today as an Allied communique announced the sinking of 10,000 tons of enemy shipping and the destruction or damaging of 49 aircraft in new raids on Wewak and Rabaul. A warning that Japan is constantly renewing its air strength in the sector over New Britain and New Ireland was issued by Gen. Ralph J. Mitchell, aircraft commander in the Solomons, after the latest Allied successes were announced in a communique from the headquarters of Gen. Douglas MacArthur. Gen. Mitchell noted that "there is every indication Japan considers Rabaul and Kavieng very important, and she is going to do everything to hold them."

A Nazi bullet winged Yugoslav partisan leader Marshal Josip (Tito) Broz in the upper left arm last summer, but failed to prevent the Marshal from leading his forces out of a trap set by 35,000 German troops in the green mountains of Montenegro. A 26-year-old partisan machine gunner who is a member of the five-man committee operating a refugee camp for partisans somewhere in the Middle East related that story yesterday to reporter Sam Souki of the United Press Cairo bureau. The gunner called the battle in which Tito was wounded "the toughest I saw in two years of battling the Nazis."

("I remembeh once when we was kids," chuckles Sally, "me an' Mickey got holda t'key t't' ice cream freezeh downstaiehs in'na stoeh t'eh, an' we got it open -- an'neh was awlese bot'ls! in'neh!" "Ah," replies Alice, her voice tightening to an unaccustomed squeak. "'Magine'nat." "Yeh," giggles Sally. "But Ma tol' me it was jus' Misteh Lieb's medicine, an' we oughta leave it alone. Mickey took a sip of'it, t'ough, an'nit made 'im sick right onna flooeh t'eh." "Strawng medicine'll do t'at," nods Alice. "Awrful stuff," agrees Sally. "Woise'n Castoria.")

A 26-year-old metal worker from the Bronx was arrested for impersonating an Army officer. Police picked up Alexis Konstantin Jaroshevick of 1085 Aster Avenue after discovering him parading around Huntingdon in the uniform bearing the insignia of a captain. Jaroshevick was unable to produce the required $500 bail, and is reflecting on lost glories today in a cell at the Federal House of Detention.

Four hundred neighborhood stores of the H. C. Bohack Company in Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island kicked off a campaign yesterday to sell $1,000,000 worth of War Bonds. Navy Coxswain William J. Trecott, wounded during the invasion of Sicily, was announced as sales manager for the drive, and ceremoniously sold the first bond yesterday to Bohack president Ernest Haberle.

(Incidentally -- "Gung Ho!")

The Eagle Editorialist demands that a square deal for the men and women of the Armed Forces requires that they be allowed to vote, and strongly condemns Southern Democrats and reactionary Republicans who oppose such voting by those in uniform. "They utilize objections which are obviously specious to disguise their real motives," argues the EE, "which have their origins in predjudices and politics."

("I should have suspected something when I noticed that he wasn't bald!")

The postwar construction of a new Coney Island Oceanarium was further assured yesterday by a Board of Estimate vote to spend $42,000 to prepare construction plans for the projected $1,460,000 attraction, proposed to be built between the beach and Surf Avenue between W. 5th and W. 8th Streets. The Board approved architect's fees of $58,000, and an additional $1600 for soil borings, with $20,000 of that total to be paid by the New York Zoological Society.

("Just out of curiosity, Mr. Rickey," inquires Mr. Holmes, "how much are you paying Parrott? We're all curious over at the Eagle. How much?" "Indeed, my boy, indeed," gusts Mr. Rickey. "And while we are on the topic of your fine newspaper, a fine paper it is, one of the finest in our land, let me say that I am impressed, yes, very impressed by how well you seem to type, dear boy, to type with only one arm. How, may I inquire, did you lose the other? I am sure it's a story of great determination under the most overhwelming of odds to accomplish your purpose. I have great respect for you, my boy, GREAT respect. I SALUTE you." "I'll put down $3500 a year," sighs Mr. Holmes. "And he is worth, my boy," smiles Mr. Rickey with a puff of his cigar, "every penny.")

(No security deposit for you!)

(Those aren't medals on his hat, those are Pep Cereal pins. Look, there's Superman!)

(Tubby has a foot fetish? I thought it was a FOOD fetish.)

(I'd love to see Russell Stamm's FBI file.)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG can't stand to see anyone else happy.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News..

"Tasty Mink Gal?" Really, Page Four?

Clever signature, Mr. Vallee.

Rogers Avenue??? LOOK OUT MA!

"Clew" -- Mr. Gray curries favor with Col. McCormick by adopting "Simplified Spelling."

Trish was clearly a Girl Scout.

So was the Captain.

Odds that Nina tells Phyllis to go sit on a tack before next Friday now running 2-1.

Look, you can keep the haircut, but the moustache REALLY has to go.

RUN, MISS PEACHY! RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK

Grow faster! I miss the Ronnie Reagan swoop!

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

"Oi'll have ye know," huffs Uncle Frank, "that all me proices aaare well oonder th' ceilin'!"

 

[Fading Fast]

The Nazi, the Soviets, it's all the same to poor Poland.

"Tasty Mink Gal." A Page Four hall-of-fame entry.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

"Tasty Mink Gal." A Page Four hall-of-fame entry.

My thoughts are of Miss Carole Matthews yesterday's siren.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("A hamboig diet," sighs Joe. "I could go f't'at. Oueh cat gets moeh meat'n I do. I mean, she's gotta catch it 'ehself, but still..." "Ahhh, you should be looking foehw'd t' goin' inna Awrmy," observes Miss Kaplan. "T'is lieutenan' I useta date says y'get meat ev'ry meal. Real meat too, not t'is stuff fulla soybeans." "Cawrn beef," injects Mozelewski. "Me brut'teh's inna Awrmy, an'nee tol' me y'get cawrn beef awl day lawng." "Well," shrugs Miss Kaplan, "maybe lieutenants get betteh rations. T'ey gawtta sayin' inna Awrmy, he says t'me. He says t'me 'rank has its privl'eges. 'Couese, when he said t'at, I hadda belt 'im one acrawsta moosh." "Howcome?" queries Joe. "Rank," huffs Miss Kaplan, "don' have T"AT kin'a privleges!")

Federal agents are holding the operator of a Manhattan doll shop on charges of violating censorship laws by sending coded messages in an ingenious code based on the names of dolls. Mrs. Valerie Dickinson, "a frail old lady" who operates a dall store at 718 Madison Avenue, and who, according to an FBI agent, has "one of the best collections of rare dolls in the country," was accused of sending the messages, contianing information "of military importance" to Senora Inez Lopez de Melinali of Buenos Aries in March of 1942. Mrs. Dickinson, a California native, was said by agents to have handled brokerage accounts for the Japanese before the war, and was said to be well-known to Japanese military and naval officials. Mrs. Dickinson "resisted furiously" when she was taken into custody by Federal men while in the act of withdrawing $19,000 from a midtown bank. She is being held on $25,000 bail.

(At least you have "luxurious transportation.")

(Tris Speaker? He's only 55. Might only hit .290 or so, but he's probably still good for pinch hitting.)

A majority interest in the Boston Braves has been sold to a combine of three Boston businessmen. Joseph Maney, Guido L. Rugo, and Louis R. Perini, all involved in the construction industry, acquired the stock from a combine headed by Joseph Conway of Boston and noted golfer Francis Ouimet. Robert Quinn will be retained by the new owners as club president, and declared today that the new owners are prepared to inject sufficient money into the team to operate it on a sound financial basis. He further noted that with the three owners all Boston men, the new ownership marks the first time in years that the Braves have been under local control. Quinn noted that Casey Stengel, who retains a share of stock in the club, will remain as manager. He has managed the team since 1937.

("Me'n Joe're goin' inta t'City t'marra night," comments Sally. "Gonna go see t'at pitcheh 'Lifeboat.' Joe loves a good sea pitcheh." "I eveh tell ya I met Talluleh Bankhead?" boasts Alice. "Back when I was drivin' a truck f'y'Uncle Frank. We was makin' a d'livery oveh'r inna Village, an' I stopped innis saloon t'ask f'directions, an'neh she was, standin' right up at t'bawr, had'deh foot onna brass rail 'n ev'ryt'ing. She sees me comin' in an' while I'm try'na catch t'eye'a t'bawrtendeh she says t'me 'whatta ya drinkin'?' She wants t'buy ME a drink, c'n ya 'magine'nat. I says, 'nah, none f'me, I'm drivin',' an' she gives me t'is funny smile, an' says, y'know, innat low verce she got, she says 'well, why don'cha give me a cawl sometime,' an' she slips me a piece'a papeh wit'eh phone numbeh awn it. I t'ink I still gawt it somewheh." "Ya makin' it up," scoffs Sally."What would Tallulah Bankhead want wit'choo?" "I wen' out'na truck an' ast Mickey t'same t'ing," shrugs Alice. "An'nee jus' kinda laughed. Sometimes I wisht I had a betteh sensa humeh -- I feel like I miss out on a lotteh jokes." "Yeh," nods Sally.)

(Honestly, these are all very reasonable questions.)

(Mr. Tupper? My high school typing teacher makes a guest appearance.)

(SNOB! Not everybody can shop at I. Miller!)

(Yeah, well, we'll have time for a flashback later. Stick to the story.)

(Can't win 'em all.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

"Kicking, clawing, and screaming." Now tell me why there hasn't been a movie of this.

Oh, what's a little aerial combat between old friends?

For the record, Frank King had a long and happy marriage.

Coming into work on a bone-chilling morning to find the heat off AGAIN.

Do us all a favor, though, and put on your hat.

Leaving a complicated coded message -- to be deciphered by Andy Gump? That's called "taking a biiiiiig chance."

Wonder if he combinated?

Optimism.

Rookie move, kid. Wait to jostle him in the crowd.

It's nice to see Moon back in his black shirt. NOW THAT'S STYLE.

 

[Fading Fast]

The doll store owner/spy is one of the best quirky war-spy stories we've seen so far. I hope they keep following it.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Considering the gal shortage it's really too bad this has to end this way.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Wow," exhales Sally, as she and Joe exit the Astor Theatre following a Sunday matinee screening of "Lifeboat.""T'at was some pitcheh." "Yeh," nods Joe, pausing to gaze thru the plate glass window of the Mayflower Donut Shop as the brown cakes float and bob past in a churning river of grease. "Y'know," he continues after a long silence, "I neveh been on a boat befoeh. Not eveh." "Really?" replies Sally. "Not even, I dunno, not even'a Staten Islan' Ferry?" "Neh," shrugs Joe. "What's on Staten Islan'? Who needs to go t'Staten Islan'? Nope, I neveh been on no boat in me life. I dunno what I'd do inna situation like t'at. I can't even swim." There is another long silence. "Ma's got a book," says Sally. "T'is book about t'at boat t'at sank f'real, y'know? T'at big lineh. T' Titanic? I remembeh read'n'at book when I was a kid five 'a six yeehs ol', an' read'n'about awlem people'at died, awlem people neveh even got inna lifeboat. An' I t'inks right t'en, I do'wanna get on no boat neiteh. But I did, I wen' oveh t'Staten Islan' wit' Uncle Frank once, me'n Mickey, an' I got sick f'rm awla shakin' an' bouncin'. I ain' too fonda boats." Joe sighs again, his eyes following the donuts as they float past. "I guess," he resumes, "I'll be ridin' onna boat soon enough. Hope it don', you know, sink." "C'mon, Joe," sighs Sally. "Less go home." With one last glance at the donuts, Joe turns away from the window, and they melt into the Times Square crowd...)

The commanding general of the U. S. strategic air forces in Europe is confident that Allied air power will "knock out the Luftwaffe" by this summer. Lieutenant General Carl Spaatz qualified that statement by declaring that much depends on weather conditions, but if the weather remains "reasonably favorable," he asserts that "the German air forces would not last very long." In his first press conference since assuming his new command role, Gen. Spaatz pointed out that recent Allied air raids on the Schweinfurt ball-bearing factory and other centers of German aircraft production have slashed the manufacturing capacity for Nazi fighter planes by forty percent.

Hundreds of R. A. F. bombers dropped more than 2,240 tons of bombs on the German rail and munitions center of Magdeburg, 88 miles southwest of Berlin, starting fires visible from 150 miles away. Meanwhile, other, lighter forces struck at the German capital itself, in the latest step of Allied air forces' planned campaign to knock out Germany's war industries and transportation systems. About a thousand planes are believed to have participated in last night's actions, with fifty-two planes lost.

Secretary of War Henry L. Stimson expressed his opposition to the arrangement of voting privileges for soldiers overseas by arguing in a letter to the chairman of the House Elections Committee that a soldier vote would harm military morale because the distribution of ballots to all servicemen would disrupt the flow of regular mail from home. Chairman Eugene Worley (D-Texas) made the letter from Secretary Stimson public yesterday. Rep. Worley is opposing the so-called "State's Rights" soldier-vote bill endorsed by his committee in favor of a Federal law that would be binding on all states. Stimson's opposition to the bill emphasized the flood of state ballots and other election materials that could be expected to enter the mailing channels, suggesting that the amount of mail required to distribute a single state ballot would outweigh over a thousand V-Mail microfilm letters.

President Roosevelt last night established a War Refugees Board, and assigned it to take immediate action to ward off the Nazi extermination of Europe's Jews. The President appointed Secretary of State Cordell Hull, Secretary of the Treasury Henry Morgenthau, and Secretary of War Henry L. Stimson to the new board, and charged them to "take action for the immediate rescue from the Nazis of as many people as possible of the persecuted minorities of Europe -- racial, religious, or political." The executive order establishing the board defined its main responsibilities as direct efforts to rescue, transport, and maintain threatened populations in Europe from enemy oppression, and to establish and operate "havens of temporary refuge" for such victims. The new board, which will report directly to the President, will work in cooperation with the Intergovernmental Committee on Refugees, the United Nations Relief and Rehabilitation Administration, and other interested organizations, "present and future," concerned with the refugee situation. A White House statement emphasized that the President's order was issued "to forestall the plan of the Nazis to exterminate all the Jews and other persecuted minorities in Europe."

("Yaaaaaar roit, Nora," declares Uncle Frank, with a hearty laugh, "aboot these amatchoors!" )

Eight relatives of the late Dodger owner Charles H. Ebbets were denied reimbursement in Surrogate Court for income they claimed they were entitled to receive under trust funds set up in their behalf, but did not. Three sisters-in-law and five nieces of Mr. Ebbets, who died in 1925, claimed that the trust funds have issued no payments since 1933. At that time, the Ebbets family shares of stock in the Brooklyn National League Baseball Club Inc. and the Ebbets-McKeever Exhibition Company, legal owner of Ebbets Field, ceased to pay dividends due to the Depression, and though the corporations are now said to be profitable, the trust funds have paid nothing to those heirs. The heirs had sought to have quantities of the family trust's stock sold off in order to pay the money due, but Surrogate Judge Francis D. McGarry ruled that it was clearly not the intent of Mr. Ebbets's will to have any portion of the family's Dodger stock sold, as such action would leave them with only a minority share. The ownership of the Dodger corporations, since the death of Ebbets in 1925, and the deaths of his partners Edward and Stephen McKeever in 1925 and 1937 respectively, are evenly divided between the Ebbets and McKeever heirs.

A bookmaker known under the name of "Johnny Bananas" will be sentenced tomorrow in Special Sessions Court for having set up a "ringer" to take the rap when his Coney Island wire room was raided last March. Mr. Bananas, whose true name is David August, was accused of inducing 32-year-old Abe Rosenberg of 2947 W. 29th Street to take responsibility when police raided the wire room, and provided Rosenberg with $100 cash to pay the anticipated fine. But the plan fell apart when Rosenberg was, instead, sentenced to 30 days in jail and subsequently implicated August as the true operator of the betting establishment.

("Coming events cast their shadows before...")

("All can shop during the noon hour." Well lah de dah.)

(That Mr. Michael Todd, formerly closely intertwined in more ways than one with Miss Gypsy Rose Lee, is now producing a new show with Miss Lee's sister and former co-star headlining, suggests that there is a red-hot story that is conspicuously not being told.)

Miss Mary Small used to be known as "the little girl with the great big voice" when you heard her on the radio a decade ago --but she's a grown woman now and wants you to know it. Declining to be interviewed about her days as a "child prodigy," Miss Small prefers to be known now as one of the "naughty ladies down Martinique Way" now cavorting in the Broadway success "Early To Bed." But she's not so naughty in real life -- she's Mrs. Seaman First Class Vic Mizzy, with her songwriting husband a favorite source of new material for her act. Mary says she had to be married before anyone would take her seriously as a grown-up performer, and she is grateful to producer Dick Kollmar for taking a chance on her for his current show.

(Never trust an actor.)

(Is Nimitz REALLY that svelte? Or will we read next Sunday that "Ooh la la! Admiral Nimitz owes his youthful physique to his wife's corset!")

(Look, maybe you'd feel better if you didn't buy your glasses out of a novelty catalogue.)

(Mr. Bushmiller was really impressed by the World's Fair. And I don't care, oysters are still nauseating.)

(And please welcome our guest star today, Mr. Guy Kibbee.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Just once, why can't we have a "mystery woman in a cheerful calico print?"

You're showing your age, Mr. Hill.

Somebody needs to have a long talk with this kid.

Annie is preparing for her future career in property management. And poor Chester, always forgetting he actually has parents. Can you blame him?

I miss the days when people got dressed up to go to the movies.

Every neighborhood has its hoarder.

"Superwolf Maidenswoon." Actually his real name is "Phil," but he'll never admit it.

All's well that ends well.

OOPS

 

[Fading Fast]

"A bookmaker known under the name of "Johnny Bananas" will be sentenced tomorrow in Special Sessions Court for having set up a "ringer" to take the rap when his Coney Island wire room was raided last March. Mr. Bananas, whose true name is David August, was accused of inducing 32-year-old Abe Rosenberg of 2947 W. 29th Street to take responsibility when police raided the wire room, and provided Rosenberg with $100 cash to pay the anticipated fine. But the plan fell apart when Rosenberg was, instead, sentenced to 30 days in jail and subsequently implicated August as the true operator of the betting establishment."

Amatchoors!


And a hat-tip to Mr. Caniff, nice karmic justice.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Terrence lad only needs squeeze a little lead to claim his first aerial victory.
As mentioned earlier, with the shortage of available women 'tis a pity this has to end so tragically.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Mr. Caniff has carefully encoded all you need to know about Sanjak in her name -- among the "sanjaks," or subprovinces, of the old Ottoman Empire, was the Isle of Lesbos.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Twenny-Fois' Street," notes Sally. "I t'ink I know a gal lives innat buildin', down'neah by t' Bay Pawrkway. I hope she wrings'at rat lan'loehd's neck. Makes ya 'preciate havin' a supeh like Krause." "Awwwww," blushes Alice. "'Snice'a ya t'say t'at. He woiks awrf'l hawrd." "He got us t'at coal when I show'd 'im t'docteh bills f'Leonoreh's eeh infection," agrees Sally. "An' he didn' kick none when I tol' 'im he c'd sen' T'OSE t't' lan'loehd." "Y'know sump'n?" adds Alice. "I ain' yet even met t'guy owns oueh buildin'. He tawks t'Siddy onna telephone oveh t'Schriebstein's. Siddy says he tried an' tried t'gett'im to putta phone inna buildin', an' jus'about haddim woeh down, an'nen'na wawr stawrted, an' y'can't get a phone f'nut'n." "Yeh," fumes Sally. "I remembeh t'night we haddat gas leak down'a Ginsboigs' -- we run out inta t'street t'fin' Flannehry t'cop t'get help. It's ridic'lous people gotta live like t'is. Afteh t'wawr, I'm tellin'ya, t'ings is gonna be diff'ent." "Magine havin' a telephone RIGHT IN YA HOUSE," marvels Alice. "I'd feel like I was in a movie. I wondeh if we c'n get a white one. I'd be jus' like Gingeh Rogehs." Sally glances sideways at her friend, leaning back against the seat with her eyes closed in blissful imagination. "Yeh," she chuckles. "Jus' like t'at.")

Tracking nearly all the city's financial ills to the maintenance of the defecit-producing five-cent subway fare, the Committee of Fifteen, headed by former Corporation Counsel of Brooklyn Paul Windels, today urged doubling the nickel fare to a dime, and presented specific proposals for reducing real estate assessments and sharply curtailing city spending. The Committee, organized in 1940 by 50 civic, business, real estate ,and industrial groups, touched off an earlier fare-increase controversy by recommending an increase from five to seven and a half cents, a movement that went so far that the Democratic majority in the State Legislature introduced a countermeasure that would legally peg the fare at a nickel. That bill, however, never made it to the floor of either legislative house. In proposing a ten-cent fare, the Committee observed that the public's perception of the value of a nickel has changed substantially from that prevailing in the early part of the century, and argued that, in terms of actual income, the comparative value of a nickel in 1944 is barely two and a half cents, and that therefore a ten cent fare to the subway rider of 1944 would mean no more than a nickel did in 1904 or 1912, or even in 1921, the first time the nickel fare became "the football of politics."

All important Bulgarian provincial towns will be evacuated, according to a report from Sofia broadcast by the German Transocean News Agency. The evacuation was ordered by the German high command after an appeal to the Bulgarian people was broadcast from Moscow, urging them to rise up and overthrow their pro-Nazi government. The evacuation was regarded in London as a precaution by the Germans against revolution and against air raids or possible invasion by the Allies.

The appointment of General Dwight D. Eisenhower as the commanding general of American forces in the entire European Theatre today virtually completed the pre-invasion streamlining and reorganization of American forces now in Great Britain. Eisenhower, who will direct the Allied invasion of Western Europe, named Maj. Gen. John C. H. Lee as deputy commander, Maj. Gen. W. B. Smith as chief of staff, and Col. Royal B. Lord as deputy chief of staff. The simplification of the American army setup in Britain under Eisenhower's command will free up a large number of staff officers "for immediate field duty."

In Hollywood, a "battle of the crooners" will take place over the airwaves on February 1st, when none other than Frank Sinatra will match tonsils with Bing Crosby in a special broadcast to be presented under the auspices of the Hollywood Victory Committee. But the swooning teenage girls of America will have to learn about the outcome from their boyfriends in the service -- because the program, part of the famous "Command Performance" series, will be heard only overseas, over the Armed Forces Radio Service.

("You tell'm!" chortles Joe. "Got enough ickies inna woil' as it is." "Aw, be ya age, Joe," dismisses Miss Kaplan. "'At stuff's f'kids." "In ya hat it is," scoffs Joe. "Me'n Sal wen' uptown one time, hoid Duke Ellin'ton at t' Savoy Ballroom. We wen'up, y'know, t'dance, but we ended up jus' stan'in'neh by t'ban'stan', lissen'in t' t'music. I don' know nut'n about awrt, but if t'ez such a t'ing inna woil', t'at was it. Butcha know, he neveh played no boogie-woogie, like ya, you know, Will Bradley awr anny'a t'em. 'Beat me Daddy, eight t't'bawr.' T'Duke neveh played none'a t'at kin'a stuff. I neveh hoid t'is Razinzki guy, t'ough. But I bet he's strickly off t'cawb." "Whassat?" queries Miss Kaplan. "You know," explains Joe. "Cawrnbawl. Like, oh, I dunno, Sammy Kaye." "Waaaaaaaatch it," warns Miss Kaplan. "Don' go criticizin' Sammy Kaye. I useta go out wit' his drummeh." "Zat so?" snickers Joe. "Tell me, what's he do fawra livin'?")

("Well what were ye troyin' t'DO?" sputters Uncle Frank, who has rushed into the kitchen to find Ma sprawled on the floor next to a broken chair. "Neveh ye moind, Francis," gasps Ma, as he helps her to her feet. "These chairrrs're gettin' old, that's ahhhl. Leave that alooon, William, ye'll get splinters." "Fix," declares Willie, gathering the pieces, and fitting the pegs back into their holes. "Got glue?" he queries. "Fix it like Unca Siddy." "Will ye look at that," marvels Uncle Frank. "Indeed," smiles Ma.)

The Eagle Editorialist observes that the United Nations' debt to the Soviet Union grows greater every day as, in the East, Russian forces continue to soften up Nazi Germany for the coming Allied invasion in the West. "It is only because of Russia," the EE observes, "that there is the probability that the war will end this year. Without her superb fighting and her sacrifices, which will be found to be appalling when finally revealed, victory and peace would not be in sight."

(I dunno about that, hon -- have you ever actually MET a radio actor?)

(Hmph. Mr. Camilli sends his regrets.)

("It won't get him out but at least it'll knock down the smell a bit.")

(I don't know how they managed to swing an appearance by Captain Clark Gable. I guess after Cary Grant did the comics, they're all gonna get in on it.)

("Yeah, 'White Shoulders.' Wanna see?")

(For those who came in late...)

(Vicious is one thing, ANNOYING AS HELL is quite another.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

The Follies? Who's next, Brenda Frazier?

"From yaaaaaaaawr head down to yawr toe, Lifebuoy stops that ol' BEEEEEE-YO..."

Being a juvenile delinquent really ages a kid...

The word, dear, is "JACKING." After all, you're not in season.

So simple even Andy can figure it out.

Ah, Jessica. Ever the pragmatist.

See, it all makes sense.

Yep, he looks much better with the hat.

All the pieces are on the board.

"Oh, and I put half a buck on 1-2-4 to combinate!"