The Era -- Day By Day

[Fading Fast]

"Swift and vigorous action by the city to combat the rising tide of anti-Semitism was pledged yesterday by Mayor LaGuardia. "

Eighty years later and, other than the mayor's name, it could still be printed today.

*****************************************************************************************

"DOGS ARE NOT DUMB. BUT SOME DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN OTHERS. ISN"T THAT RIGHT?"

"Amen"

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

"Swift and vigorous action by the city to combat the rising tide of anti-Semitism was pledged yesterday by Mayor LaGuardia. "

Eighty years later and, other than the mayor's name, it could still be printed today.

*****************************************************************************************

Recent Harvard huba huba with other ivies rather shocked.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Heh," hehs Alice. "Las' night when I got home, y'know what lit'l Willie done? Him an Siddy'd stacked up t'is whole big pile'a waste papeh an' I says t'him, 'heeh y'go, y'want t'is newspapeh?' An' y'know what he says t'me? He jumps up an' down an' hollehs YEH!' Izzat a cute kid awr what." "Yeh," agrees Sally. "I'll tellya one t'ing, 'e's nut'n like Mickey," continues Alice. "Whattayamean by t'at?" retorts Sally. "Aw, don' getcha back up," calms Alice. "I mean, c'nya 'magine Mickey eveh gett'nawl excited an' jumpin' up'n down like t'at? Long as I knowed Mickey he aw'rways acted like he's soeh 'bout sump'n, y'know? Awrways sitt'n'eah, wit' his eyes flickerin' back'n foet' like somebody's out'tget'im. Get a few drinks in 'im an' y'c'd have a few laughs, but most'a t'time, he's so grim, I sweah, it was like bein' on a date wit' Hoibet Hooveh. T'is Willie, t'ough, awl it takes f'r'im to get awl excited is t'stawrt pilin' stuff up -- don' matteh if it's toys awr ol' newspapehs, awr whateveh -- he goes right to it. Funny kid, y'know. I bet when he grows up, why, he c'd be a engineeh." "Jus' like Hoibet Hooveh," shrugs Sally. "Huh," huhs Alice. "Y'know, I neveh t'ought'a t'at!")

Price Administrator Chester Bowles lashed back today at Mayor LaGuardia, urging the Mayor to devote his criticism to "enemies of price control rather than against those of us who are struggling against heavy odds to make price control effective." Responding to remarks made by the Mayor in his Sunday radio broadcast, the OPA head recommended that LaGuardia "direct his harpoons" toward "the real target," noting that his agency is the only Federal administrative body that stands between the public and a need to pay higher prices in the stores.

Communist Party general secretary Earl Browder declared last night that American Communists will not "raise the matter of socialism in a such a form and manner as to endanger national unity." The Communist leader, addressing a rally at Madison Square Garden marking the 20th Anniversaries of both the death of Soviet founder Lenin and the founding of the Daily Worker newspaper, expressed his view that the recent Teheran conference among President Roosevelt, Prime Minister Churchill and Premier Stalin laid the groundwork for "peaceful coexistence" between capitalist and socialist states, but that policy carries with it a responsibility to "exert all possible influence to minimize and if at all possible eliminate the use of violent struggle for the resolution of internal problems." He further observed that "the American people are so ill-prepared for any deep-going change in the direction of socialism that post-war plans with such an aim would not unite the nation but would only further divide it."

("Huh," huhs Miss Kaplan. "An' heeh we awr standin' up." "Eh," shrugs Joe, "standin' up, sitt'n down, it don' bot'eh me. I guess 'bout awl I c'n look foehwe'd to is standin' up." "I wouldn' min' sitt'n down," sighs Mozelewski. "You ain' a goil," snickers Miss Kaplan. "Lookit t'em hands, you couldn' do no lit'l woik wit' no radio tubes wit' t'em meathooks." "Well," grumbles Mozelewski, "me feet hoit." "I don' wondeh," snickers Miss Kaplan, "stuff'n six toes innem boots. Hey Joe, don' yawr wife make radio tubes?" "Yeh," nods Joe. "Oveh t' Joisey, f't'phone comp'ny." "She otta look inta t'is," suggests Miss Kaplan. "Who wantsta go't Joisey ev'ry day." "Nah," nahs Joe. "Sal's whatcha cawl essential oveh t'eh. T'ey'd neveh let'teh go." "Well," shrugs Miss Kaplan. "Maybe afteh t'wawr. I mean, wit'choo goin' inna soivice, an' who knows what could hap'n. She's gonna need t'ink about maybe ya don' come back." Joe darkens, picks up his tray, and without a word moves to another table. "What's eat'n him?" wonders Miss Kaplan. "Ya'r a real piece'a woik," mutters Mozelewski. "I'm jus' sayin'..." sighs Miss Kaplan.)

Accusations of "laxity and inaction" scored the Police Department in the report on anti-American and anti-Semitic activities in the city presented yesterday to Mayor LaGuardia by Commissioner of Investigations WIlliam B. Herlands. The 170-page summary of Herland's probe cited case histories of 54 offenders in a total of 31 incidents of violence and vandalism, with the same threads of anti-Americanism and anti-Semitism present in each, with both "street corner agitiation" by anti-Semitic speakers and anti-Semitic indoctrination of children found to be factors stimulating youthful offenders. Noting the spread of anti-Semitic beliefs by such organizations as the Christian Front and the Christian Mobilizers, and the activities of such orators as the notorious Joe McWilliams, the Herlands report blistered the police for failing to take seriously reported incidents of violence and vandalism against Jews, for investigating such reports in "an inept manner," for failing to properly file reports on such incidents, and in some instances for failing even to record the names of offenders. "The original viewpoint of the Police Department," observes Herlands, "has been that anti-American and anti-Semitic vandalism and assaults and batteries were inherently no different from other cases of malicious mischief, assault and battery, disorderly conduct, and juvenile delinquency." The report recommends that Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine make a clear and unequivocal statement of department policy in regard to the investigation of such incidents, and in general with regard to all activites designed to foment racial and religious hostilities and disorders.

Meanwhile, police in Flatbush are searching for three youths accused of assaulting a 9-year-old boy in front of the Beth David Gershon Synagogue, directly across the street from the Empire Boulevard police station. Albert and Esther Cooperman of 421 Crown Street charged that the boys beat their son David with a broom handle, tore his clothing, and called him "a dirty little Jew," and further charged that when two playmates took David across the street to the police station to make a complaint, a police matron, while treating his bloody nose, warned him to "keep quiet for your own good," and sent him home with a free ticket to a Police Athletic League hockey game. Mrs. Cooperman acknowledged that the matron in question did file the boy's complaint, which began the police search for the assailants.

("Sss--eee--eksss," sounds out Leonora, the newspaper spread out on the floor before her. "Seeks. Ma, wha' seeks?" "Don' read t'at," insists Sally, snatching the paper away and riffling thru the pages. "Heeh, honey, read t'funnies." She sees her daughter's eyes moving down the page to "Mary Worth," and she snatches the paper away again." "Heeh," she sputters, grabbing a box of corn flakes from the kitchen shelf. "Read t'is." "Sppppppppt," protests Leonora.)

The Eagle Editorialist warns Republicans of the folly of surrendering to the party's reactionary wing as the 1944 campaign season approaches, and notes with approval a pointed speech by Vermont Governor William H. Willis on the theme "Will The Republicans Commit Suicide in 1944?" In that speech, Gov. Willis noted well-financed efforts by the party's right wing, led by Governor Alfred M. Landon, Senator Gerald P. Nye, Sun Oil Company vice president Joseph Pew, and Rev. Gerald L. K. Smith, to force Wendell Willkie out of the race for the GOP nomination, and the EE agrees with Gov. Willis that "these cannot be considered 'men of vision.'" The EE also agrees with Gov. Willis's conclusion that if this reactionary clique succeeds in controlling the nomination, "that nomination may not be worth much to anyone," producing only a candidate "who will look to the dead past for guidance in the challenging future."

("Ehhh, take that away an' bring us a coupla Rheingolds.")

(And don't worry, folks, if it turns out that Theo. S. Ballgame never sees a lick of combat in this war, well, there's always the next one...)

Speaking of Mr. Williams, the Red Sox slugger-turned-Marine pilot says the rising young hitter to watch in the National League is Lou "The Mad Russian" Novikoff of the Cubs, who, says Ted, stands to be an outstanding man with the bat one day. "He's a great natural hitter," enthuses Williams, who then proceeded to excoriate the Cubs for optioning the Russian to the Milwaukee Brewers last season for minor-league seasoning.

GIants secretary Eddie Brannick is rising to defend his old pal Bill Terry from the wave of criticism that has greeted his comments to the effect that he has retired from the game because no club will meet his price. "I don't believe he ever said baseball was a cheap game," Eddie insists. "He was misquoted. He loved baseball. He was part of the game for 28 years, and after a stretch like that baseball gets in your blood."

(Careful, Mr. Tuthill. Remember what happened to Harold Gray.)

(New York detective, huh? Derby hat, loud suit -- yep, checks out.)

(Pro tip, Jane -- never walk up a steep flight of stairs in heels without holding the rail.)

("I just wish he wouldn't talk so much about quantum mechanics at the table. It's terribly tedious.")

(THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BAD DOG -- ONLY BAD OWNERS WITH A BAD DOG.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh and...

(A "GREAT NEWSPAPER?" The Daily Heil? A GREAT NEWSPAPER?)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Fur stealer, stick to your coats.

Poor Terry, he never gets cocoa.

All praise to the Signal Corps!

The passive-aggressiveness here is unbearable.

"AW GEE WHIZ! I'LL MISS SUPERMAN!"

"All Off! Baltimore!" "OH MIN!"

"Now do yuh want me to bring him in or not?"

Awwwwwwww.

You're slipping, kid.

"He reminds me of somebody, but I just caaaaaaan't....."

 

[LizzieMaine]

And finally...

You left out the people who complain about women wearing tall hair to the opera.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

And finally...



You left out the people who complain about women wearing tall hair to the opera.

Khati Buniatishvili is exquisite and my favourite pianist with abundant gorgeous hair cascade.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("I'll joost oooopen the flooodgates," erupts Ma. "Th' maaarket will be flooooooooded with rank amatchoors!" "Oh, settle down, Nora," dismisses Uncle Frank. "Ye haven't been roonin' that Wednesday noit game for maaar thanna year now!" "Indeed, and that was YARRRR idearr!" retorts Ma. "Sittle down 'til the heat's ahhf, ye said. LaGuardia will mooove ahhn t'soomthin' else, artichokes arr darrrty books aar soomthin', ye said. And NOW look what's happ'nin!" "Th' waaaarld changes," sighs Uncle Frank. "An' t'get ahead ye got to change with it." "Oi hear bootleggars are next," fumes Ma. "Oi here tharr's a big crackdown coomin'." "Nonsense, me dear," scoffs Uncle Frank. "Joodges don't play biingo, soo they doon't caaaar aboot it. But joodges, far saaaartain, enjoy a good drink, an' they'd haaardly do noothin' to cut oof thaar supply." "Ruint by amatchoors," bemoans Ma. "Happens ivery toime.")

The case against James Drew, patrolman of the Liberty Avenue Precinct, is now closed, declared Mayor LaGuardia today, with a special mayoral board having reviewed the case and upheld the exoneration of Ptl. Drew of charges of anti-Semitic and subversive conduct. Asked whether he would make public the findings of Commissioner of Investigations William B. Herlands in the Drew case, the Mayor maintained "that's finished. What else can I do? When three such men reach a unanimous decision, what am I to do?" The three men mentioned by the mayor were former Police Commissioner George V. McLaughlin and former appeals judges Frederick E. Crane and Edward H. Finch, who were personally selected by LaGuardia to examine the findings in the Drew case "in an advisory capacity." Drew was suspended from duty in May on allegations that he associated with known anti-Semities and subversives, but was later reinstated with full pay after his acquittal in a departmental trial. There are still two matters concerning Drew still pending before the City Council -- one, sponsored by Councilman Peter Cacchione, Brooklyn Communist, calls for Drew's dismissal from the police force, while the other, backed by Councilman Joseph Sharkey, Brooklyn Democrat, calls on the Mayor to "issue a statement clarifying the case."

The first step in the Department of Health's crusade to enlighten young people about venereal diseases took place last night at the headquarters of the Girls Clubs Association of Brooklyn, 174 Prospect Place, with the screening of educational films intended to make children aware of the dangers of syphilis and gonorrhea. Private physicials will also donate their time to discuss the matter with young audiences in an effort to dismiss the "hush hush" attitude that surrounds venereal disease. The films will be screened again next Wednesday at the Colony Mothers Club, and plans are in the works to show the films to boys at Brooklyn Polytechnic Institute on January 20th.

("Me'n Siddy had oueh fois' fight las' night," bemoans Alice. "Awready?" marvels Sally. "I t'ought t'two'a yez was two hawrts t'at beat as one." "Awr you bein' sawrcastic?" Alice frowns. "Y'hadd'noughta do t'at, it ain' good f'whatchacawl poissonal relations." "Been listenin' to Misteh Ant'ony again, huh?" snickers Sally. "I tol' Siddy las' night he hadn' oughta be sawrcastic," mopes Alice. "See, I don' t'ink Siddy likes fish. But I couldn' get no good meat, we'eh low on ya brown pernts c'ause we hadda pot roas' t'oteh night, so I figyehed fish, right? Mame G showed me t'is kin'a fish t'at comes in a jawr. It's great, y'don' hafta cut it up a' nut'n, ain' no bones, jus' op'na jawr an' t'eh's ya fish. Comes inneese lit'l bawls, kin'a floatin' innis stuff' t'at's kin'a like Jello tillya heat it up." "I t'ink y'sposta eat t'at cold," comments Sally. "Oh," shrugs Alice. "Maybe t'at was it. I had it berlin' onna stove an' Siddy come in, took a sniff, an' said 'e was goin' oveh t'Schreibstein's t'get a san'wich. I didn' like t'soun'a t'at an' I said so. I says t'him, I says 'you don' like fish soup?' an'ne says "NEH!" an' wawks out." "He says 'neh' awla time," dismisses Sally. "How'zat a fight?" "Well," grumbles Alice, "he had 'is fingehs on'nis noise like t'is heeh when'ne said it. T'at come acrost' as kin'a fighty t'me. Ain' you an' Joe eveh hadda fight like t'at." "No," shrugs Sally. "Joe'll eat anyt'ing, he ain't p'ticuleh. But t'en again I neveh tried t'make fish soup out'va jawr." "Y'otta try it," interjects Alice. "I ate t'whole pot mese'f. It ain' bad afteh t'fois' coupla bowls." "Ah," ahs Sally. "Y'know," Alice adds, "t'em Aiewicks really does woik. Didn't hafta op'na windehs a' nut'n.")

Brooklyn Borough President John Cashmore is one of three borough presidents on the Board of Estimate to call for the abolition of municipal radio station WNYC. Cashmore has joined with Manhattan borough president Edgar J. Nathan Jr. and Bronx borough president James J. Lyons in terming the operation of the city-owned station a "wasteful expenditure of public funds." The three control five of the sixteen votes on the Board. Cashmore, in denouncing WNYC and in declining an invitation to speak over the station, asserted that it "serves the purposes and perpetuates the rule of the officials who happen to control the city government."

(Forgotten cultural touchstone -- the incomprehensible train barker.)

(Now that he's just days away from leaving the profession behind Mr. Parrott reveals its darkest secret. IF THAT'S MR. PARROTT REALLY WRITING THIS.)

If you've been wondering why so little Dodger news is emerging this winter from the Montague Street Cave of Winds, it's easy to explain: Mr. Rickey is devoting most of his time these days to his duties on behalf of the Brooklyn Red Cross.

(Dehydrated borscht. Truly, a time of signs and wonders.)

(Do you really think Standard Oil is going to let you get away with this?)

(Maybe, Mary, you could disguise yourself as Gypsy! NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW!)

(I dunno, he doesn't seem the "Shalimar" type.)

(Please Mr. Stamm, the better cartoonists are moving past this sort of thing.)

(KITTY ISN'T BUYING YOUR LITTLE GAME)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Miss Stein has learned a hard lesson at a young age.

PS -- that's the Mirror, not the News, hence the lovingly-obliterated masthead. The boys can't wait to read Winchell!

MY NAME IS MISS ELONG YOU DUMB FLATFOOT.

"Hmmmm. That could be Biggy Toughmann, our local troublemaker!"

And so it begins...

Just like Teheran.

"Jake's Juke Joint?" Who are these people? DOES SHADOW HAVE A SECRET LIFE?

I got news for you, hon. JON STARDUST is not Jon Stardust!

Oh, now don't go pawing around in a LOYAL ALLY's bag!

"Canary Diamond" -- a yellow diamond, highly valued and very very easily faked.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Terrence's Irvin shearling looks the nines. Just the bee's knees campus wear.

bye the bye,
The Stein not guilty is an injustice straight with those conscription age fiends who assaulted Miss O'Brien.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("'At's disgustin'," growls Sally. "Hunne't 'n five yeehs ol', an'neh gonna t'row 'eh out. Mawrk me woids, afteh t'wawr, we'eh goin' afteh t'kin'a people t'at'd do t'at." "I wondeh what it's like t'live t'be a hunne't'n five," muses Alice. "I mean, jeez, 'magine if I live t'be a hunnet'n five. It'd be, what, t'yeeh two t'ousan' an' ten? I won'neh what t' woil'd be like in t'wo t'ousan' an' ten. I mean, izzeh still gonna be people ridin'a train t'woik in Joisey? Maybe we'll fly. I seen inna magazine 'bout how inna fyutcheh we'eh awl gonna have t'ese little whatchacawl heeliocopteh t'ings t'at rise right up offa t'groun' an' fly an'nen settle right down again. 'Magine'nat." "Maybe I'll be a great-gran'mot'eh," considers Sally. "Livin' inna White House." "T'White House!" chuckles Alice. "Y'gonna disposess Roosevelt?" "Well," shrugs Sally, "When Leonoreh's presiden', I figyeh she'll have me'n Joe move in wit'teh, y'know, kin'a keep an eye on t'ings. T'at's what Joe says, anyway, he says she's gonna be pres'dent sueh as ya sitt'neh." "I wondeh," ponders Alice, "if in two t'ousan' an ten, LaGuardia's still gonna be Mayeh." "Nah," nahs Sally. "Leonoreh's gonna have t'at jawb too. B'foeh she b'comes president. AN' SHE'S GONNA GO AFTEH T'ESE RAT LAN'LOEHDS, I'LL TELLYA T"AT!" "I hope if I live t'be a hunnet'n five," sighs Alice, "t'at Siddy does too. Co'ese, he's oldeh'n me, so he'd hafta live t'be, jeez -- um -- lemme t'ink." "Hun'net n' twelve," calculates Sally. "Oh," ohs Alice. "I guess t'at ain' too likely, huh?" "I guess not," agrees Sally. "Well'en," declares Alice, "I do'wanna live t'be a hunnet'n five neit'eh." "Yeh," nods Sally. ""Be kin'a lonely livin' longeh'n ev'ybody y'know." "I'd settle," concludes Alice, "f''ra hunne't. I wanna try out one'a t'em heeliocoptehs.")

City Council Vice Chairman Joseph T. Sharkey (D-Brooklyn) expressed his astonishment today at "the weak manner in which Mayor LaGuardia -- who has time and time again challenged court decisions and even the Court of Appeals -- has accepted the decision in the Drew case. Either Herlands is wrong or the Police Commissioner and the board he appointed is wrong." Councilman Sharkey has introduced a resolution before the council requesting that the Mayor review the case, and then "clarify" his position on the matter. Evidence charging that Patrolman James Drew of the Liberty Avenye station associated with known anti-Semites and engaged in subversive activity was reported to have been assembed by Commissioner of Investigations William B. Herlands, for presentation during a departmental trial. That trial was held, and Drew was acquitted, but the report prepared by Herlands has still not been made public. Also calling for the release of the Herlands report is former State Attorney General Carl Sherman, who now heads the Commission to Combat Anti-Semitism of the American Jewish Congress, and a resolution introduced by Councilman Peter Cacchione (Communist-Brooklyn) calling for Ptl. Drew's dismissal from the force is currently pending.

Meanwhile, legislation that would ban the publication of literature promoting any form of racial or religious hatred within the State of New York was introduced in the State Assembly today. Assemblyman Irwin Steingut of Brooklyn, the Democratic minority leader, is co-sponsoring the bill along with Senator Arthur H. Wicks, Republican chairman of the Senate Finance Committee. The measure would would make the publication of such material a misdemeanor, and is similar to legislation already on the books in Massachusetts. In a joint statement, Steingut and Wicks affirmed the importance of a free press, but argued that "it should not be permitted to be abused with impunity by people or organizations seeking to create strife and disunity in this country."

("I hoid he's 4-F," grumbles Joe. "Punchehed eeehdrum, jus' like Durocheh." "Won'neh who punchehed it," snickers Mozelewski. "Aw, be nice," protests Miss Kaplan.)

Mayor LaGuardia today issuedva fresh blast at Price Administrator Chester Bowles, charging that the OPA is failing to properly enforce gasoline rationing laws in the city. "It is just humanly impossible," proclaimed the Mayor, "for the OPA not to know that there is profiteering in gasoline, and that gasoline is obtainable in amounts over and above ration amounts. Why doesn't the OPA do something about it?" The feud began with the Mayor's broadcast last Sunday, and Bowles' indignant rebuttal of that broadcast. The Mayor has promised to send a "barrage of lettters" to Bowles' Washington office, refuting the Price Administrator's arguments one by one.

(Lifeboat may not be Tallulah's finest hour, but it's definitely William Bendix's.)

The Eagle Editorialist acknowledges it's hard to dismiss the Soviet Union's claims upon German-held territories sought along the former Polish frontier, given that those territories were carved out of Russia in 1920 by Poland with the help of the French Army under the command of now-prominent Vichy collaborator General Weygand, and further acknowledges that the Russians have rights in the matter which must be considered both as a matter of justice considering Soviet sacrifices in the present war, and in the interests of reaching an international accord which will promote a lasting future peace -- a peace in which Germany is left weak and dismembered, a status "justified by a long record of ruthlessness as an enemy of civilization."

(Mopping Up is a vital part of any military campaign.)

(Baseball has a right to be concerned about that -- given how the WWI "work or fight" order cut off the 1918 season a month ahead of schedule)

("Since we had to give up feeding him butter...")

(GEE THANKS SHERLOCK.)

(Well, maybe he IS the Shalimar type.)

("Coke is a registered trademark of The Coca-Cola Company, Atlanta Ga." Just giving you a headstart on tomorrow's mail.)

(Poor Kitty.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Stop snickering, Doris, it's impolite.

War is hell, eh what?

That Lane Bryant gift certificate Patton got for Christmas came in handy.

Somewhere Nick Gatt is chuckling.

Oh, Nina.

"Prelude to Murder."

On the other hand, though, if that face showed up at YOUR hotel, wouldn't YOU hide?

"Jake's Juke Joint?" And now "The Pink Poodle?" Covina's red light district flourishes!

Children learn what they live...

WELL IT TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH

 

[Fading Fast]

"Lifeboat may not be Tallulah's finest hour, but it's definitely William Bendix's."

Agreed, and I'd also note Walter Slezak's outstanding performance as the hated German.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Midi always seemed a rather creepy androgynous sort.
Mr Caniff is stuck in a box here, on one hand Midi needs martial hangman's rope.
And I don't see Grett and Terrence leading anywhere.
Caniff cannot simply ignore the war backdrop. A bit Bard tragic has its place.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Bawmbin Rome, Russians onna mawrch," observes Miss Kaplan. "Wawr's gonna be oveh befoeh y'get oveh teh, Joe." "Lookit'im," snickers Mozelewski. "He's hawrtbroke." "Ain'a'two'a'yez got nut'n betteh t'do," fumes Joe, looking up from a Big Chief tablet upon which he has been scrawling with a pencil, "t'en make stupid jokes?" "Hey," inserts Miss Kaplan. "Whatcha writin'neh? Love letteh t't'missis? Heeh, lemme look, I can give ya constructive criticizin'.'" "Go sit onna tack," growls Joe. "If ya mus' know, I'm writin' me will." "Ain'a lawyeh s'posta do t'at?" queries Mozelewski. "Yeh," nods Miss Kaplan, "I tol' ya I know some lawyehs if ya..." "Look, jus' leemee alone, awright," growls Joe, getting up to find another table. "Can't do nut'n'a 'roun'eeh wit'out joiks stickin'eh faces in it..." "Touchy," observes Miss Kaplan. "Ain'nee?" "Terrible," shrugs Mozelewski.)

Two soldiers and a civilian were arraigned yesterday in Brooklyn Federal Court on charges of stealing Government meat. Twenty-one-year-old Corporal Isadore Blumenfeld, an Army cook, and 23-year-old Private First Class Alfonso R. Melito, a butcher, both stationed at Mason General Hospital, Brentwood, Long Island, and twenty-nine-year-old civilian laborer Robert N. Hall of Bay Shore, were charged with carrying away from the hospital two cases of pork loin, four quarters of beef, three hams, a case of frankfurters, and a case of turkeys. The cash value of the meat was given as about $200. The prosecution alleges that the thefts were carried about over a period of four months, with the meat loaded into a car owned by Hall, who then sold it on the black market to persons in various Long Island communities.

With a record total of 827 police officers having retired from the force iin 1943, the Police Department faces a serious manpower shortage in 1944, with another 3221 policemen needed to bring the force back to full strength. Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine disclosed those figures in announcing that new overtime shifts will be required in order to cover the manpower gap. The Commissioner attributes the wave of retirements to a ruling by the Court of Appeals requiring that any member of the force who has completed his period of service and has filed for retirement must be granted it, regardless of the effect on police staffing. "I have attempted to persuade retiring members to remain in their positions," added the Commissioner, "and in fact more than 600 members have withdrawn their applications for retirement."

Temple Beth Emeth in Flatbush has been cited by the Treasury Department for the effectiveness of its bond-selling campaigns. Treasury officials say that to date, bonds sold by the Temple are sufficient to buy eleven air ambulances and a Flying Fortress.

(War is Hell.)

("Thaat was a good picture," declares Uncle Frank, as he and Ma and Willie stroll down Midwood Street after attending a show at the Patio. "Oi do enjoy Mistarr Crosby," nods Ma. "Annd Mr. Astaire." "Ah," ahs Uncle Frank. "Oi was taalkin' 'boot t'otharr fillum act'chl'yy. "Dangerous Blondes?" scoffs Ma. "Act yarr age, Francis. Here, William, why's ye paaacket all wet! Ye didn't steal one'a t'him goldfish out'the pool, did ye?" "Let me see, boy," insists Uncle Frank, investigating Willie's coat. "Oh far th' loova...Nora, the boy's gaaaht a pocket foola oice cream!" "William!" scolds Ma, as the boy flashes a panicked expression. "Son, ye doon't hafta hoide food n'more -- we get home, why, ye c'n have aaaahl the oice cream ye want!" "F'r Uncle Siddy," mutters Willie, shifting his feet nervously. "F'ra present." "Well, c'n ye imagine that," marvels Uncle Frank. "Indeed," nods Ma.)

The Eagle Editorialist declares that either Governor Dewey or Wendell Willkie would make a strong Republican presidential nominee for 1944, and warns those already banding together for a "Stop Willkie" drive because "he will not be easy to handle," or because of his views on international affairs, that they will find no answer to their prayer in Mr. Dewey, whose views since 1940 have shifted considerably on the question of internationalism, and the isolationist faction of the GOP will find most vexing the Governor's current view that America's future interests demand a continued strong alliance with Britain even after the war is over. "It is altogether unlikely," predicts the EE, "that the gentlemen who are maneuvering behind the scenes to move Mr. Willkie out of the picture would gain a candidate readily adaptable to their own purposes if they brought about the nomination of Mr. Dewey."

("Where do you think he learned 'em??)

Police officers found guilty of associating with persons advocating fascism or race hatred will be dismissed from the force, announced Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine today. The announcement from the commissioner came in response to remarks by Mayor LaGuardia during his Sunday radio broadcast concerning the case of Patrolman James L. Drew. The amended department regulations outlined by Commissioner Valentine prohibit all members of the force from engaging in any form of association with persons engaging in subversive activity, from membership in any organization advocating racial or religious hatred, or with posessing any form of literature issued by any such organization, "except when in the discharge of their official duties."

(So it's hail and farewell to Mr. Parrott. While he's been a pretty obvious shill for Rickey over the past year, and now it's paid off, he's also always been an interesting and amusing read. I'll miss him. NOW BRING ON JOHN MCDONALD.)

Umpire John "Ziggy" Sears will return to the field this season, having recovered from the illness that sidelined him during the 1943 World Series. Ziggy, who has been a National League arbiter since 1935, is known to have a short fuse when it comes to ejections, and is one of Leo Durocher's favorite dancing partners.

(I bet Mr. Tuthill has interesting dreams.)

(The Show Must Go On!)

(You know, Jane, you might as well be a cop yourself.)

("Hepcats." Hear the derision in those quotation marks. Scarlet, you're an ickie.)

("Better scram! She says the kid's got fleas!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Oh, Charlie.

Jeeeezuz.

Mr. Patton certainly seems to take to this kind of work.

"Obstruction of justice? Oh, let's not quibble over minutiae."

"MIdi's a woman." "Boy, how long has it been since you had leave?"

"Yet."

Well at least somebody does.

"Hey, just for laughs, watch me drop these bottles."

Moon in his skivvies? BEEFCAKE!

Just keep 'em out of the back room.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And finally,

Pat Patton, is this you?

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Word's out on Miss Midi and Ladbrokes could get a line out on how much time she has until shag rag tag.
Caniff's credibility is on the line and these tommies are tormented.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(“Seven hundred t’ousan’,” sighs Sally. “I wondeh how many’a t’em’s gonna come back.” “Joe’ll come back,” assures Alice. ‘Ain’ nut’n inna woil’ gonna keep him fr’m comin’ back.” “He tol’ me he wrote his will,” sighs Sally. “He come home las’ night an’ gimme t’is piece a’ papeh inna env’lope an’ says t’op’n it only if he don’ come back.” “What’d it say?” queries Alice. “Din’ I jus’ get done tellin’ ya,” snaps Sally, “t’at he said not t’op’n it ‘less he don’ come back.” “Well, c’mon Sal,” insists Alice, “don’choo know nut’n? A man tells ya not t’op’n sump’n, well, t’at’s a sign he wants y'should…” “Shutcha yap,” retorts Sally. “Sawrry,” shrugs Alice. “I jus’ t’ought you, bein’ married lawngsya have, y’d’a awready know’d t’at.” “Jus’ shuddup,” growls Sally. “Jus’ f’once’t inya life, shuddup.” “Sawrry,” sighs Alice, as the train rattles on toward home…)

President Roosevelt's plan for universal military service is a “stab in the back of labor and an indictment of the American people, Representative Hamilton Fish (R-NY) charged yesterday. Characterizing the President’s recent message to Congress as the start of a fourth-term bid, Representative Fish, speaking at a meeting of the Brooklyn Womens Republican Club at the Hotel Bossert, also called the proposal a n attempt to “foisit National Socialism on the United States.”

(“Heh,” hehs Miss Kaplan. “Musta been some mustache! Hey, Joe – you eveh t’inka growin’ a mustache?” “I don’ need no mustache,” dismisses Joe, sipping his coffee. “Aw, g’wan,” snickers Miss Kaplan. “Y’ know who y’d look like wit’a mustache? Joe Stalin! Ha! Hey, I betcha wife’d like t’at!” “I dunno,” deadpans Joe. “I ain’t sueh what t’at’d look like. You mean like t’at one you got?” Joe flips his paper cup into the trash can and salutes, as Miss Kaplan fingers her upper lip and Mozalewski falls off his seat laughing…)

The Eagle Editorialist deplores the current efforts by drys to revive the idea of Prohibition by offering it again, as they did twenty-five years ago, as a way to “stimulate industrial production thru the elimination of excessive drinking as a factor in absenteeism. Calling dry leaders “shrewd, resourceful, and rather unscrupulous,” the EE warns against “a repetition of the dismal chapter of our history as a nation,” and urges rejection of the bill introduced in Congress to outlaw the sale of beverages containing more than one half of one percent alcohol for the duration of the war and until “full demobilization” has occurred.

(“Well, you’ll need something to wash them down. Why don’t you go to bartending school?”)

(Dream Clothes = Not Shapeless Brown Wool, and a saucepan on her head.)

(Hey, shouldn’t Dixie be back at Sperry’s? That square dance class won’t teach itself!)

Reports out of Albany state that former major leaguer Johnny Evers – middleman of the famed “Tinker to Evers to Chance” double-play combination of the deadball era has fallen ill. Evers, who is 63, suffered a severe stroke in August 1942, and has been bedridden ever since.

(Didn’t we go thru this once before with a mouse?)

(“You might get hit with a chip from a broken dream.” Sturges isn’t writing this stuff.)

(That’s a very fine reverse forward roll there, Jane. Do you backcomb or do you use a rat?)

(Yes, by all means “study” this “jive.” “Harold Teen” will be found down the page.)

(AND DON’T PEE ON THE…never mind.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News…

Let’s put some teeth in these laws.

Slighty smaller than a dime. SO DON’T TRY PAINTING THEM SILVER.

SEE HE EVEN RUNS LIKE A GIRL

Get over yourself, Phyllis.

“OH NO HE MUST’VE OPENED UP THAT TUNNEL TO THE BANK!”

Since Dan Dunn went away, we hardly ever see anyone tied up in a basement.

“A JC? Son, I AM the JC!”

Mr. Clark’s been visiting my neighborhood again.

Shouldn’t you wait till the check clears?

Can’t you get a coupon deal?