The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

("Well," sighs Joe, "t'at's t'at. Not much'va season, eh?" ""Sawlat Rickey's fawlt," growls Sally. "An' awlso Lewis J. Hoishey, it's his fawlt too! How come non'a t'em Cawrdnals got drafted, huh? We lose Reiseh, we lose Reese right off t'top, but do t'ey lose Musial? NO. Do t'ey lose Coopeh? NO. Do t'ey lose Kurowski? NO. T'draft is unfaieh t' Brooklyn." "T'ey los' Slaughteh t'ough," points out Joe. "An' y'can't say t'at wasn' a big lawss." "Yeh," huffs Sally. "But how come t'ey didn't lose Slaughteh LAS' yeeh, huh? Answeh me T'AT! You realize if Slaughteh wen' inna Awrmy las' yeeh when he was s'posta, Reiseh wouldn'a hit t'at wawl, you realize t'at? An' if Reiseh don' hit t'at wawl, we winna pennant las' yeeh, an' if we winna pennant, MacPhail don' quit t'go inna soivice, an' Rickey neveh comes heeh, an' we neveh get ridda Camilli an' Fitz an' Medwick an' Bobo, an' we winna pennant T'IS yeeh too! Y'see how it awl fits t'getta?" "Basebawl's a funneh game," sighs Joe. "Yeh," sighs Sally. "An' I ain' laughin'." "Hey Sal," interjects Joe after a long and awkward pause. "Less go out'n see t' Bushwicks." "Yeh," nods Sally. "Now ya tawkin'. Les' go see'm befoeh Rickey figgehs out howta roon'nem too."....)

Defeat of the Wheeler Bill to defer the drafting of pre-Pearl Harbor fathers until 1944 appeared likely last night, as senators shied from the appearance of telling Army and Navy authorities how to run the armed forces. That was the general view in Washington, despite the view of some prominent senators that the impending start of drafting of fathers after October 1st is being planned more to force men into essential industrial work than to bolster military strength. Three leading senators hinted at that purpose in comments suggesting that the Administration is pursuing such a goal thru such means rather than pressing for national-service legislation that would draft workers in non-essential occupations into war jobs. Indications are now that the Senate will not vote on the Wheeler Bill until late next week, with prominent military leaders scheduled to testify before the Senate Military Affairs Committee starting tomorrow.

Germany was reported tonight to have sent four more reserve divisions into the Adriatic coastal region of Yugoslavia in an effort to beat down mounting guerilla resistance and tighten the Axis grip on the invasion threshold of the Balkans. Yugoslav partisans were said to be stepping up their attacks on German positions all along the Adriatic coast, spearheaded by bold incursions at key points. Despite the apparent strength of the guerilla operations, reliable Allied quarters viewed with skepticism reports that patriots had been able to take and hold any major objectives along the shore.

A report filed by the Securities and Exchange Commission in Manhattan Federal Court yesterday on the sales -- including short sales -- of securities of the Childs Company, restaurant chain operator, documented a series of sales between 10 AM and noon on August 26th by persons "who are, or who have been officers, directors, or employees of the company, or who sold it supplies and services." The report, filed as part of the reorganization record for the firm, noted that the company's involuntary petition for reorganization was dismissed at 12:12 PM on August 26th, and the company filed a voluntary petition before the same judge seventeen minutes later. The reports notes that the flurry of selling occured just before news of the reorganization petitions broke on the stock ticker, causing a sharp decline in the market price of Childs securities.

("T'ideeh!" snorts Alice, sitting on the stoop with the newspaper as Krause the Super methodically applies concrete patch to cracks in the steps. "Imagine keep'n a blackjack inna baby's crib! If I hadda baby, y'know one t'ing I would NEVEH do is leave a blackjack inna baby's crib!" "Neh," agrees Krause, exhaling an acrid puff from his cigar as he works. "No!" reiterates Alice with great emphasis. "A blackjack ya keep in ya nightstand!")

A drive to reduce Brooklyn's gasoline consumption by 25 percent across the board begins tomorrow under the direction of local war price and rationing chairman William Jagger. The first local group to pledge compliance with the campaign is Brooklyn's 2400 doctors, who, thru the Kings County Medical Society, will be requested to reduce their requests for gasoline coupons up to the stated quota. "There will soon be another epidemic of gasless stations," warned Jagger, "unless Brooklyn gets behind the drive to conserve gasoline."

Members of the Kings County Grand Jury declined an invitation to tour the Bedford-Stuyvesant district last month because they were frightened to visit the neighborhood after dark. Despite repeated requests for such a tour, grand jurors are said to have repeatedly declined out of concern for their personal safety. Yesterday, grand jurors heard testimony from an unnamed police official who acknowledged that he, too, is unwilling to walk certain streets in Bedford-Stuyvesant at night unarmed.

(Less than 8000 cash customers at the Polo Grounds for a Dodger-Giant game? Is ANYBODY still in the league???)

Former Yankee Lefty Gomez will face off against former Dodger Larry French in a highly-touted mound tilt at Dexter Park this afternoon, as the Bushwicks host the South Orange Legionnaires. French, now a Navy lieutenant at the Brooklyn Navy Yard, has been pitching for the South Orange club on weekends to keep his arm in trim, will also deliver an appeal for war bonds before the game, following a fungo-hitting contest between himself and Senor Gomez.

(A young man who clearly gets a BANG out of life.)

Cheeta the Chimp, Hollywood film favorite, has been elected to honorary membership in the National Dunking Association, federation dedicated to the promotion of coffee-and-doughnut breakfasts. Cheeta is seen to indulge himself in the habit every morning before beginning his daily show at the New Jersey State Fair, and also takes time for a cup and a sinker between performances.

Bert Wheeler is back in vaudeville after a long hiatus in Hollywood, and is glad of it. The vaude stage is Bert's favorite form of entertainment, and is happy to be recreating his old act at the Shubert Theatre in Broadway's new revue "Laugh Times." Bert spent eight years as a screen star working opposite Robert Woolsey in the famous team of Wheeler and Woolsey, but has been little seen since his partner's untimely death in 1938. It took five years of small-time personal appearances in movie theatres, nightclubbing, and other such dates in order to build himself back up as a stage star, and he's happy of it. "On the screen you've got to play a part, and play it as written," he observes. "But, after all, you have so much more freedom in vaudeville! There's a warmth about vaudeville, a personal contact with your audience, that defies any other type of entertainment."

Old Timer Robert Ryder remembers like it was yesterday the day Steve Brodie jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge. It was July 223, 1886, and Brodie's successful leap followed an unsuccessful attempt by a swimming instructor named Robert Odlum, who, on the night of May 19, 1885, attempted the leap as a publicity stunt, and drowned. Brodie's jump seemed to have been made on a sudden impulse, and ended up making him a wealthy man, driving a steady stream of customers to the saloon he ran on the Bowery.

(Hey Red, ever try jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge?)

(FINE cat)

(Careful, Scarlet. You're no Polly Adler!)

(Fritzi and Phil have the most passive-aggressive relationship in the comics. And why aren't we putting these torpedo fish to use in the war!)

(All Sunday strips from now on should end with BANG BANG)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

1943 is not a gentle time, but at least we don't hear much anymore about "torch murders."

SO THERE.

Is this trip REALLY necessary??

Ew, onion soup!

"I promise not to get political, ever again." -- H. Gray. And poor Chester, don't you know that sweet old ladies are the most dangerous of all?

"Luscious Love Romances?" Does Butch know about this? And it's nice to see Skeezix's sergeant getting an endorsement deal, especially one that isn't whiskey.

Art for art's sake. And "Smitty" is a long-running strip about an office boy, a Vintage Thing That Has long since Vanished.

Hey Cindy, you can make a lot more money as a boxer than you can as a reporter. Just thought I'd point that out.

Judy's going to go far in life. Oh, and HUSTLE BUBBLE SUDS! HUSTLE BUBBLE SUDS! HUSTLE BUBBLE SUDS!

"Don't Look Back, Something Might Be Gaining On You..."

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

Read any good books lately?

 

[Fading Fast]

View attachment 547135
("Well," sighs Joe, "t'at's t'at. Not much'va season, eh?" ""Sawlat Rickey's fawlt," growls Sally. "An' awlso Lewis J. Hoishey, it's his fawlt too! How come non'a t'em Cawrdnals got drafted, huh? We lose Reiseh, we lose Reese right off t'top, but do t'ey lose Musial? NO. Do t'ey lose Coopeh? NO. Do t'ey lose Kurowski? NO. T'draft is unfaieh t' Brooklyn." "T'ey los' Slaughteh t'ough," points out Joe. "An' y'can't say t'at wasn' a big lawss." "Yeh," huffs Sally. "But how come t'ey didn't lose Slaughteh LAS' yeeh, huh? Answeh me T'AT! You realize if Slaughteh wen' inna Awrmy las' yeeh when he was s'posta, Reiseh wouldn'a hit t'at wawl, you realize t'at? An' if Reiseh don' hit t'at wawl, we winna pennant las' yeeh, an' if we winna pennant, MacPhail don' quit t'go inna soivice, an' Rickey neveh comes heeh, an' we neveh get ridda Camilli an' Fitz an' Medwick an' Bobo, an' we winna pennant T'IS yeeh too! Y'see how it awl fits t'getta?" "Basebawl's a funneh game," sighs Joe. "Yeh," sighs Sally. "An' I ain' laughin'." "Hey Sal," interjects Joe after a long and awkward pause. "Less go out'n see t' Bushwicks." "Yeh," nods Sally. "Now ya tawkin'. Les' go see'm befoeh Rickey figgehs out howta roon'nem too."....)
...

The butterfly effect applied to baseball by Sally.

...

Members of the Kings County Grand Jury declined an invitation to tour the Bedford-Stuyvesant district last month because they were frightened to visit the neighborhood after dark. Despite repeated requests for such a tour, grand jurors are said to have repeatedly declined out of concern for their personal safety. Yesterday, grand jurors heard testimony from an unnamed police official who acknowledged that he, too, is unwilling to walk certain streets in Bedford-Stuyvesant at night unarmed....

And this is 1943. By the '70s/'80, there were large parts of the city, including in Manhattan (like Alphabet City) that no sane person would be willing to walk through in broad daylight even armed.

...


SO THERE.
...

Right or wrong, the Reno way led the country to where it was going.

...

Hey Cindy, you can make a lot more money as a boxer than you can as a reporter. Just thought I'd point that out.
...

So Ernest Borgnine got his start playing a reporter in the comicstrips.

...

"Don't Look Back, Something Might Be Gaining On You..."

All that reminiscing and not one thought for Hu-Shee? She only saved his life and offered her "whole" self to him.


After two good day, has anyone else noticed some of the old tech issues coming back? It took forever to have the screen come up after hitting "reply" and when trying to upload pictures today.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

The blackjack ba***rd Graff is twenty-nine and unemployed amidst the Second World War?

Pocahontas, Mrs John Rolfe is buried at Gravesend.

Terrence has obviously much recent and seems to have forgot this other young lady.
And his first real aerial combat is about to commence. So he'll lose his virgin pilot cadethood or be deflowered.

Last but not least, the Modern Sex Manual, illustrious no less; and de Maupassant's Congo Story-nine guys, one gal, and not just Adam's apple but a bunch of bananas. Some real snakin'.
Snow White and the Nine GaybitranslesMserables. Mouse House ought to look into this.
No lust in the dust stuff since Snow becomes a real leader.
Or Barbie goes Bananas.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Well," sighs Uncle Frank, "It looks like ye boy Joseph'll be goin' in the saaarvice soonar'n laatar. That's goin' to complicate things, don't ye think?" "Oooh, I don't know," replies Ma. "You don't, don't ye?" rejoinders Uncle Frank. "Ye daaghter'll be spendin' a lot more toime around here." "Oi can handle me daaghter," chuckles Ma. "Oi been handlin' me daaghter farr tharrty years, after aal." But what aboot that baby," interjects Uncle Frank. "Didn't ye tell me she's ahhlready laarnin' t'read? Don't ye think that's daangerous? Maybe ye daaghter don't see what she don't waant to see, but when her little garrl starts in taalkin' 'boot the fifth at Belmont, don't ye think...Nora! Are ye listenin' to me? Nora!" Ma fails to reply, her hand clutched over her right eye, her face fogging into confusion. "NORA!" shouts Uncle Frank, leaping around the counter just in time to catch Ma as she sinks, ashen-faced, to the floor.)

Lt. Gen. Mark Clark yesterday visited the center of the Salerno beachhead where Allied advances have been made on a wide front over the past two days. "I am certainly proud," he declared to one of his officers, "of the way those men stood up against counterattacks, and have come right back fighting harder than ever." Riding in a jeep thru a mine field strewn with dead animals and the bodies of Germans, the commander of the 5th Army not only inspected Allied outposts but also visited two cities which had been taken and examined the damage.

A projected conference of British and Russian foreign ministers with a high-ranking representative of the United States in Moscow was viewed today as an obvious prelude to a long-sought Roosevelt-Churchill-Stalin conference. The Moscow meeting of ministers, tentatively set for next month, but it remains uncertain if U. S. Secretary of State Cordell Hull will make the trip in person. The conference would benefit from his presence because the participation of Mr. Hull would allow the widest possible scope of discussion. Should Mr. Hull be unable to make the long trip to Moscow himself, the names of W. Averill Harriman and Harry Hopkins have been put forth as possible substitutes. British Foreign Secretary Anthony Eden will represent the Churchill government, while Soviet Foreign Commissar V. I. Molotov will act as host of the conference.

Mayor LaGuardia flies to Washington today aboard an Eastern Airlines plane, en route to testify before the Senate Military Affairs Committee on the Selective Service situation, in his capacity as president of the United States Conference of Mayors. The Mayor indicated before his departure this morning that he plans to offer several recommendations to the committee and will return to New York this evening.

(Miss Johnson's real name is Sheila Lynch, but she doesn't like to admit it. She is a prominent pin-up model of the moment, but she sadly lacks Gypsy's gravitas.)

("Oh, poo to you, Harry -- you know as well as I do it's Jersey horsemeat!")

(What a difference a day, and a good lawyer, make.)

("Hey Sal," ponders Alice. "How come t'ey cawl Rickey t' Ma-hat-ma, anyways?" "It's like he's t'at guy Gandhi," replies Sally. "You know, inna newsreels." "Huh," returns Alice. "Like he sits aroun' weehrin' a sheet? Really? I do'wanna see t'at!" "Nah," nahs Sally. "It means like, I guess, like he tawks a lot, makes a lotta big speeches. I can t'ink a' betteh names f'Rickey, t'ough." Sally exhales a deep breath and leans back in her seat. "I can' wait t'get home, y'know t'at?" she sighs. "I'm tiehed, an' I jus' wanna go get Leonoreh an' go home an' go t'bed. A nice quiet night wit' no excitement, y'know?" "Yeh," nods Alice, as the train rumbles on.)

Bigger and better baseball looms as fall draws on at Dexter Park, with Lefty Gomez, former Yankee star, outdueled former Dodger Larry French in the opening game of yesterday's twinbill between the Bushwicks and the South Orange Legionnaires. The Senor allowed only one hit in six innings, as the Bushwicks tromped the Legionnaires 5-0 in the opener before sweeping to an easy 9-3 win in the nightcap. 9000 fans turned out at Woodhaven for the action, and owner Max Rosner anticipates bringing in more major leaguers for fall action once their season ends.

Dodger president Branch Rickey goes on the air tonight at 7:15 over WABC as guest of Ed Sullivan on the columnist's broadcast from the 21 Club.

("Houri" -- one of the "virgin companions" granted to faithful men in the Muslim afterlife. Funny, he doesn't look -- um...)

(He doesn't like beaky little men, either.)

(Wait, that's it? I miss the days when Dan would send in the FACE EATING DOG.)

(RUMP EATING DOG! RUMP EATING DOG! RUMP EATING DOG!)

(There's got to be a clause in the lease about this...)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Florodora" was the "Star and Garter" of 1900, and of 1920 too.

What's that you've got there, Frank? A goat? A sheep? A wire-haired terrier? Hey, maybe you should lay off the beer.

Have you considered switching to mah-jongg?

What, all that training FOR NOTHING???

"You don't say? GOOOOD TO KNOW."

CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK

Ever have one of those days?

So's the pool.

SMALL WORLD AIN'T IT

War is Heck.

 

[Fading Fast]

Fedora Lounge's technology (in the red trunks) this morning.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Those fiends Winkler and Kennedy are Sing Sing song won't be long before their gone.
And they know it.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Awright, a mild stroke," nods Joe, standing in a corridor at Swedish Hospital and addressing a tall grey-haired man with a thin moustache. "T'at's what me wife tol' me awready. What I want now is you t'tell me 'zackly what t'at means, awright?" "Your mother-in-law," begins the doctor, "has suffered a slight interruption in the flow of blood to her brain, possibly due to an occlusion -- an obstruction, a block -- in her carotid artery. This could be due to a blood clot, or it could be due to arteriosclerosis, what you might call 'hardening of the arteries.'" "T'at's f'ol' people," scoffs Joe. "She ain' even sixty yet. She don' smoke, I neveh seen 'eh take a drink, so how c'n she have sump'n like t'at? I t'ink ya oughta what t'ey cawl, uh, consultate. Y'know? Like Docteh Kildaeh does wit' Docteh Gillespie. Getcha secon' opinion, huh? Ain'at a good ideehr?" "Mr. -- Petrauskas, is it?" sighs the doctor, "you must understand that this type of illness can appear at any time, under any circumstances, usually anywhere from middle age forward. What's important now is an effective course of treatment. Now, as I explained to her husband when he brought her in yesterday..." "Husban'?" puzzles Joe. "Oh, y'mean Uncle Frank. No, he ain'eh husband..." "Ah," nods the doctor. "Her brother, then. As I was saying..." "Well," interrupts Joe, "it's a kin'a compl'icated...ah, skip it. Yeh, heh brut'teh. Whateveh. Anyways, y'was sayin'?" "As I was saying, Mrs. Sweeney will need to remain here for the next 72 hours or so, we're administering a treatment to thin out her blood and dispel any clots, and after that we'll work out a plan of treatment..." "T'ree days, huh," sighs Joe. "Well, I guess t'Ginsboigs c'n look afteh Leonoreh -- t'at's me daughteh, Ma looks afteh heh when me'n Sal, t'at's me wife, you met heh awready, is at woik, she woiks oveh t'Joisey f't phone comp'ny, an I woik f' Sperry's Gyrascope oveh t' Bush Toimenal..." "That's very fine," nods the Doctor. "As I was saying, when Mrs. Sweeney leaves the hospital it'll be important that she follow the regimen I lay out for her, and that she avoids stressful situations, avoids working too hard, spends as much time resting as possible. I'll speak with her brother and your wife about that, as well, and I'm sure that..." "Oh yeh," eyerolls Joe. "T'at's gonna be easy...")

Wendell Willkie's disclosure in a magazine article that he is willing to run for the Presidency again on a "liberal Republican Party" ticket was regarded today as the formal opening of the 1940 nominee's campaign for the 1944 GOP nomination. The article, appearing in the current issue of Look magazine, published by Gardner and John Cowles of Des Moines, Iowa, both close Willkie associates, consists of Willkie's answers to a list of prepared questions, one of which sought his opinion on a second run for the White House. His reply stressed, however, that the Republican Party must first "win a victory within itself thru action of progressive and courageous party members in reestablishing the party's great liberal tradition." He further argued that the Republican Party must learn to distinguish between "enterprise" and "private ownership," contending that "a corporation may be privately owned and still be the worst enemy of free enterprise. A free enterprise does not belong to a few at the top -- that is a 'vested interest' system." Mr. Willkie went on to criticize the Roosevelt Administration for doing too little to curb war profiteering, whether on the part of "capital, labor, or agriculture," and whether those profits are "financial or political." He also criticized the Administration for not taking a firmer pre-war stand with Japan, noting that American firms were allowed to sell scrap, oil, and munitions to the Japanese long after the State Department warned the President of Japanese intentions in the Pacific. He asserted that postwar foreign policy must be internationalist, declaring that the United States cannot simply arm for future conflicts while rejecting participation in world collective security.

Soviet forces are clearing the Germans from 1000 villages a day as they continue to sweep toward Kiev and Smolensk in their greatest offensive of the war. The Germans are being swept back toward the Dnieper River with such force that they have been unable to pivot on prepared defenses to take a stand. Red Army reports indicate that the Soviet advance has been so rapid that in many sectors fleeing Nazis have been forced to abandon entire trainloads of weapons and supplies in their haste to retreat.

Your newspaper will be thinner in 1944, warned War Production Board Chairman Donald L. Nelson today, with a nationwide shortage of newsprint expected to grow worse in the year ahead. Mr. Nelson warned that publishers who have chosen to use up their reserves to meet the present shortage should not expect those reserves to be replenished at any time during 1944.

Political leaders in Brooklyn are bracing themselves for a sharp decline in voter registration for the upcoming election, with the registration period that begins next Monday expected to see the smallest number of enrollments in the borough since 1931. The absence of huge numbers of men now in the fighting forces is seen as the primary cause of the expected decline in registrations, along with the migration of many former Brooklyn residents who have left to take jobs in out-of-town war plants. A general lack of interest in the coming off-year election is also acknowledged as a factor.

(KIDS TODAY.)

The former European Director of the National Broadcasting Company concluded today that the speech broadcast Saturday afternoon from somewhere in Europe purporting to be the voice of Mussolini was not, in fact, the former Duce. Dr. Max Jordan, who knew the deposed dictator well during his time as NBC's chief European representative, stated today that there was no similarity between the voice heard on Saturday and Mussolini's actual voice, and noted that he had compared a recording of the Saturday speech against a recording of Mussolini's declaration of war against France in 1940, and that comparison supported his conclusion. Dr. Jordan emphasized that he does not discount the possibility that Mussolini wrote the speech. "But," he stressed, "it was definitely delivered by someone else."

Film star Errol Flynn, no stranger to courtrooms, will face the law again, with the Internal Revenue Service charging the actor with tax evasion. A suit filed by the agency accuses the star of failing to pay a total of $121,838 due on his 1942 income.

(Jean Arthur and John Wayne? Hey, it worked with Tracy and Hepburn...)

The Eagle Editorialist commends the people of Brooklyn for already reaching the two-thirds mark toward their quota for the Third War Loan, but notes that most of those purchases have been from big companies. Now, declares the EE, comes the time for "the little guy" to step up and finish the job. "But it can be done. It MUST be done. Turn to the Army News page and see the names of men and women from your community who are doing something a lot harder than buying bonds. Then see if you don't think you can buy another bond. NOW!"

("Ladies Auxiliary? IN A PIG'S EYE!")

("Ah, we'll get'm," enthuses Alice, "you wait. An' we ain' gonna finish no eighteen games out, nieteh!" "Ahh, whateveh," sighs Sally. "Lissen, when we get home c'n you kin'a make sueh Leonoreh's awlright? I gotta go oveh't hospital an' see Ma. T'ey wouldn' let me inneh yest'day, an' I said some t'ings t't'at docteh, an' I t'ink he might still be soeh'bout it." "Yeh," nods Alice. "Y'did kinda awmos' pulla Frankie G'mano onnim. Anyways, don' worry 'bout Leonoreh, t' Ginsboigs t'ink t'woil' of 'eh. Misteh G says to 'eh, he says 'meyn sheyfele.' T'at means, I t'ink, he's cawlin' 'eh a sheep. I guess t'at's a good t'ing." "Yeh," sighs Sally. "I guess." "She likes t'at tawkin' boid t'ey got ,t'at Zippy," adds Alice. "She gets in awrg'y'ments wit' im." "Yeh," sighs Sally." "Ya ma's gonna be awright, Sal," reassures Alice. "Ain' nut'n you coulda done about it anyways." "Yeh," sighs Sally, leaning back and closing her eyes and wishing she was anywhere else but here.)

A Bensonhurst boy will join Jack Benny's writing staff. J. Milt Josefsberg joins the Sunday night funster after several years writing gags for Bob Hope.

(Yeah, let's see the money first.)

(You really didn't think any of this thru, did you?)

(Mike was up for the part of Grett Murmur, but didn't make the cut. Oh well, back to the grind...)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG EVER VIGILANT IS ALWAYS ON THE zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

(I wonder if Mr. Tuthill is particularly fond of mushrooms...)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

It's probably just as well, Emmy -- I don't think "Baroness Maximillian von Romberg" would go over just now.

Blond hairs, three feathers, and a high school letter sweater from 1938? There's more to this than just a threatening letter.

ONION GRAVY!

Well, there goes your secret identity.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got paperwork to do. Heavy lies the burden of a colonel's wings..."

"So -- did any of you birds happen to grab any rations on the way down?

"The Ding-Dang code?" Son, we've got to work on your vocabulary.

Yeah, and that checkered cloth don't come cheap.

Good to see Shadow keeping up on his war job.

Yeah, kid, careful what you wish for...

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Terrence is a fine lad. He'll do.

The Masked Marvel case is certainly more than a simple onion patch roadside robbery become murder.
Meself's memory draws blank but wasn't there a film called The Onion Field?

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Oi feel paarfectly fine, choild," frets Ma from her hospital bed. "Staap ye frettin'!" "Well'a docteh said you was lucky, insists Sally. "Ya on'y had a lit'l stroke. Nex' time ya could have BIG one, an'nen you WON'T feel poifeckly fine! Remembeh t'at Missus Dennehy lived downa block? Remembeh how she ended up? You wannat t'be you?" "Paarfect naansense," scoffs Ma. "Oi'm healthy as a plow haaarse." "You gotta stop woiikin' so hawrd innat stoeh," declares Sally. "T'docteh said so, an' you know moeh'na docteh? You gotta hieh some help." "In theeese toimes?" explodes Ma. "Settle down, settle down," flutters Sally. "You also ain' s'posta get woiked up 'bout nut'n. You don' worry 'bout it. *I* will hire somebody fawr ya. I'll ask arouna neighbehood, find some kid a'sump'n, some ol' lady, some 4-F -- hey now, what about t'at Hops Gaffney? He's awrways hangin' aroun'neah anyway..." "I'll thank ye, daaghter, to moind ye business," demands Ma, "an' leave me t' tend to moine." At this, a nurse pokes around the curtained partition and offers a sharp shush. "See here," she admonishes Sally in a loud whisper. "If you keep antagonizing..." "I ain't antagonizin'!" sputters Sally. "We'eh tawkin' fam'ly business!" "It's aahl roit, Sally," sighs Ma. "Oi think ye should go now, Oi need me rest. And thank ye faar bringin' the bananas, Oi know how haaard they aaare to get...")

Spurred by distress caused by rising rents, especially in Brooklyn, representatives of consumer organizations, trade unions, and community groups were prepared to go to Washington today to present to Chester Bowles, general manager of the Office of Price Administration, their demands for the freezing of rents in New York City effective October 1st. The delegation, organized by the Brooklyn Non-Partisan Conference of Legislation in Wartime, also was scheduled to visit Ivan Carson of the OPA's rent division to present evidence of the seriousness of the situation. "We hear a great deal about holding down the high cost of living," delcared Mrs. R. Stein Uttal, consumer chairman of the conference, "but too little is done about it. Rent is as much a cost-of-living item as food, and something must be done about it." Included in the delegation are several representatives of trade unions, the Brooklyn Association for Improving Conditions for the Poor, the Progressive Committee, and the American Labor Party.

Meanwhile, Mayor LaGuardia will also be in Washington today to confer with Mr. Bowles and with Sylvan R. Joseph, regional OPA director, in discussions which will include among their topics the rent issue. The Mayor received a report yesterday from Joseph Platzker, chairman of the Mayor's Committee on Property Improvement, which concluded that unless rent ceilings are imposed at once, "the rent situation in the city will get out of hand completely." Mr. Platzker appeared yesterday in Snyder Avenue Municipal Court on behalf of Mel Farrell, recording secretary of Local 28 of the Sheet Metal Workers International Association, who had been served by his landlord with an eviction notice for his residence, a one-family house at 246 E. 31st Street in Flatbush, despite having agreed to pay a demanded $10 per month increase in his $55 per month rent. Farrell was taken to court by landlord Ann Grinnon for refusal to vacate the home. Mr. Platzker argued that the rent increase was a violation of OPA directives requiring that rents be maintained at March 1942 levels. Justice Charles H. Breitbart ruled in favor of the landlord, but granted Farrell a six-month extension of his lease in which to find a new home, with the rent frozen for that period at $55 a month.

(ATTENTION COMPOSING ROOM: Please read all articles before inserting "Back The Attack" slug. -- Thanks, F. Schroth, Publisher.)

Local homeowners who burn coal for fuel have been advised not to turn on their heat until November 1st. John Schneider, coordinator of the Brooklyn retail fuel industry, acknowledged that compliance with that edict will mean some chilly nights during October, but will also save approximately 10 percent across the board of the winter fuel supply, and will prevent residents from having to shiver thru the coming midwinter cold spells.

In Hollywood, a millionaire is seeking an annulment from his 24-year-old wife on the grounds that 2300 years of marriage is enough. Ralph Gordon Fear, who earned his fortune manufacturing cameras for the motion picture industry, told a judge that he is a believer in reincarnation, and convinced his former secretary Arline Peak Fear to marry him by arguing that he had actually married her 2300 years ago, more than 1500 years before he married his first wife. This marital maze, Mr. Fear admitted, led him to attempt suicide last year by leaping off the San Francisco Bay Bridge, but, he admitted, his wife and his own mother foiled that bid by stripping him of his pants before he could climb over the rail. "A gentleman," he asserted, "could not commit suicide without his trousers."

("Sorry, bonds not sold in $2 denominations.)

The Eagle Editorialist congratulates District Attorney, for he still holds the job, William O'Dwyer on his promotion to the rank of full Colonel in the U. S. Army. "This is well merited recognition," the EE declares, "of the outstanding job he has done in the Judge Advocate's Department in the little more than a year that he has been in the service. Naturally he has felt right at home in his new environment, since he has been investigating complaints of fraud in war contracts, work quite similar to that with which he built his name in Brooklyn."

(Next bed over from Ma in the stroke ward...)

An Ozone Park man must appear in Ridgewood Felony Court next week on a charge of bigamy. Forty-two-year-old George Dubrinski is free on $1000 bail following his arraignment yesterday before Magistrate Francis Hockert. Mrs. Mary Labrik Dubrinski testified that she had married Dubrinski last October, but he left her after 17 days and she only just learned that he married again last December, and was now living with his second wife in Ozone Park.

("COSCARART HIT BETTER THAN .195. SIGNED A FRIEND." reads Mr. Rickey, gazing down at the yellow sheet in his hand. "Judas Priest!"")

Babe Ruth declared today that he is willing to go to the South Pacific with the touring all-star baseball delegation now being organized for a post-season trip to army and navy bases in the war zone. He has, however, not yet been asked.

The Cardinals have voted to split their World Series cut into thirty-one shares. It was indicated that Cardinal players now in the service will be cut in on the Series melon.

(POINT OF ORDER: I never stood around the house in my underwear in front of any of my own aunts, and I certainly wouldn't do so in front of a surrogate.)

(Mr. Stamm, with the world the way it is right now, do you REALLY want to do a creepy story about a woman-killing robot? You could drop it right here, and nobody would hold it against you. OK, good, let's follow a suicidal escaped convict instead.)

(Gotta admit I forgot all about the missing formula angle. GOOD THING DAN DIDN'T.)

(NOBODY HERE BUT US CATTLE)

(To be fair, though, nobody likes a dog catcher.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Hey Sal," says Joe, finding Sally still awake upon his arrival home. "Y'see inna Daily News? Ya cousin Johnny, lives out t'Glendale? He's on Page Foeh!" "Ahhhhhh," growls Sally, "I hope Ma don' see it!"

"That's great, Mr. Caniff! Now can you draw me stunt-jumping a car over a river while Terry cringes in the back seat?"

"The one that doesn't leak." Kid's got a future as a realtor.

Oh, Tilda, you really should have your own strip.

"GREAT! THE *ONE LECTURE I MISSED!*"

GOOD THING FLOUR'S NOT RATIONED!

I've mentioned before that a great-uncle of mine, a captain in the merchant marine, spent three weeks on a raft when his ship was torpedoed, and he had many challenges in leading his crew to survival. I hope, though, that one of them wasn't deciding whether to push overboard the meathead who kept standing up.

"Dear, after we're finished here Mother will explain to you what 'evicted' means."

Those $29.95 Davega radios have such flimsy cabinets.

OK, the Dottie storyline really is over now, promise...

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

June Knight's $50k divorce settlement is well over $800k today. Not bad.

Terrence is apparently flying an unarmed plane.

Love that pix of Mr Caniff. Swell gent he must have been. Should have used lovely divorcee Ms Knight to spice his strip some by writing her in as a Bob Hope tour gal or what. Thought he might have stirred the pot some
with Taffy instead of a simple case of amnesia, a full Nelson affair de coeur avec Ryan, mais non chance.

I need a film tonight but really at a loss for what.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("It's loike this, me boy," explains Uncle Frank. "Ye maather-in-law is goin' to be what they caal 'incapacitated' farr a whoile, even aaafter she's oot of the haaaspital. The daacter says she's not to warrrk for the toime bein', an' thaat leaves us with a praablem." "Yeh," agrees Joe. "T'at stoeh ain' gonna run itself. She's inneh, what, t'oiteen houehs a day, sev'n days a week. I dunno how she does it." "Waal, we woon't get into thaat," dismisses Uncle Frank. "I've been taalkin' to me boys, Danny an' Jimmy ye know, an' we've waarked out a schedule where they waark for me half the day an' in the stoore th' otharr half, boot that leaves the marrnin'. Which, me boy, is where you come into the picturre." "Oh," ohs Joe. "Y'mean...?" "Precisely, me boy, precisely," nods Uncle Frank. "It would be a greaaat favarr t'yarr moother-in-law if ye could p'rhaps see it clearr to coom ovarr an' oopen the store aat eight in the marrnin', an' joost keep it gooin' until Danny or Jimmy takes ovarr at 2. That'll give ye time to get to yarr waar job." "Yeh," shrugs Joe, "but what about Leonoreh? Who's gonna look afteh her t'il Sal gets home? T'at's about, what, t'ree, foeh houehs...?" "Ah," nods Uncle Frank. "Thaat is a dilemma. You mentioned you have an elderly coople in yarr buildin', the Ginsbaaargs I believe ye said?" "Well, yeh," acknowledges Joe. "But t'eh, y'know, old -- I dunno if t'ey c'd keep up wit' Leonoreh, she's two, y'know, an' she gets inta stuff..." "Ah," nods Uncle Frank, his mind whirring. "There are some -- ladies -- I know around the neighbarhood here. Allow me to make some inquirries..." "What kinda ladies?" inquires Joe, his eyes narrowing. "Just ye leave that to me, Joseph," chuckles Uncle Frank. "Oi'm sure you'll approve. Affter ahhl, me boy, the dear choild is practically me own gran'dahghter...")

Senator Burton K. Wheeler resumed today his attempt to convince Bernard Baruch that the armed services can meet their goals by tapping other sources of manpower without drafting pre-Pearl Harbor fathers. Should he succeed -- and the outlook appears very doubtful -- he hopes to win additional support for his bill to delay any drafting of such fathers until 1944. The Senate opens debate on the measure next week, even as the Armed Forces plan to begin calling pre-Pearl Harbor fathers on October 1st. Baruch, a special advisor to War Mobilization Director James F. Byrnes, testified against the Wheeler bill yesterday before the Senate Military Affairs Committee, telling Congress to give Army Chief of Staff General George C. Marshall the men he has requested, or "throw him out." Baruch was recalled for further testimony today because Sen. Wheeler insisted he needs "much more time" to question him.

A decision in a case alleging that the Knickerbocker Hotel in Manhattan violated the civil rights of a Negro organizer for the United Auto Workers by denying him a room has been deferred pending the filing of briefs in Special Sessions Court. William Bowman of Saginaw, Michigan filed a lawsuit against the hotel charging that Assistant Manager Martin A. Nichols declined to rent him a room because of his race, but Nichols testified that he did not formally deny Bowman's business, but that rather that he "merely pointed out" that, as the majority of guests in the hotel at that time were "from the South," it might prove "embarrassing" for Bowman, as a Negro, to stay there.

(But did he try them on the monkeys?)

("Heh," snickers Sally, seated at her mother's bedside, newspaper opened before her, "getta loada t'is one. 'Co'et Flays Woman Accused as Bookie.' What, she can't getta wawr jawb? I ASK YA!" "Tarrrible," exhales Ma, fingering the edges of her blanket. "Alt'ough," Sally continues, "t'at Sala's kinda'v'a joik, if ya t'ink of it. Ain' nut'n 'bout makin' book t'at means ya hafta be a man. I bet a woman c'd do as good wit'it as anybody." "Ooh," nods Ma. "Oi wouldn' know aboot such things....")

The Eagle Editorialist agrees with Bernard Baruch's testimony yesterday before the Senate Military Affairs Committee, and urges Congress to accept the judgement of General George C. Marshall on the armed forces' present manpower needs. "In military matters," argues the EE, "Congress should yield, as it has in the past, to the judgement to the able Chief of Staff, whose only interest is in securing the men and machines that he considers necessary to winning the war in the shortest possible time and with the smallest possible loss of life.

(Let's see General Marshall try THIS.)

The British novelist whose works defined the flapper era of the 1920s and gave the world a new definition of the word "It," has died at her home in London. Mrs. Elinor Glyn, a believer in reincarnation, was 79. While Mrs. Glyn began her career as a Victorian novelist, her works turned scandalous with the coming of the new century, dealing with matters of love and sex in an increasingly frank fashion that reached its peak after the First World War with "It," an encapsulation of her theories of sex appeal that earned the author millions, especially after Hollywood purchased the book as a film vehicle for Clara Bow. Mrs. Glyn attempted a few acting roles in films herself, but finally retired to London with her two cats, over which she claimed to exert a hypnotic influence. Mrs. Glyn's husband, a justice of the peace, preceded her in death in 1925. She leaves two daughters, several grandchildren, and her sister, now Lady Duff Cooper.

(Mr. Dean's life is one of remarkable self-invention, with his biography shifting to suit whatever reporter he's talking to at the moment, and most of his on-air malapropisms carefully planned out in advance to help build up his indelible image. No one, but no one, in public life ever made more effective use of the 'wise guy hayseed-rube" character, with the possible exception of Senator/Governor/Future Baseball Commissioner "Happy" Chandler.)

Remember Charlie Root, glowering Cubs fireballer of the 1930s who disappeared from the big leagues after the 1941 season? He just won 15 games for the Hollywood Stars of the Pacific Coast League. Mr. Root, a hearty 44 years of age, was seen this week looking over the kids in the press box at Crosley Field in Cincinnati.

(It's a living.)

(What, Wilbur didn't turn him in to the scrap drive? FIFTH COLUMNIST!)

(Psst, Dan is wearing elevator shoes.)

(NOT JUST "ANY" DOG.....!)

(Hey, how 'bout let's go down to the candy store...)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

(Hey, it's our old pal Leo O'Mealia, sports cartoonist for the Daily News! Greetings from over the bridge!)

(And Mr. Webster, the main reason to slog thru the stodge that is the Herald-Tribune! Clearly his regular character, Caspar Milquetoast, the Timid Soul, was not up to this assignment.)

(Actually, it's Joe that drew this. Jerry just sits around the office writing scripts and eating candy bars.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Well, good, we got that settled.

"ARF!"

C'mon, Shadow, hanging around the with the neighborhood kids? AT YOUR AGE?

Just gotta get the gore in, eh Gould?

C'mon, Bim, you can do better than that.

Um. I dunno, part of the underground?

 

[LizzieMaine]

Anyway, to get back to the regular comics...

"What, no bell?"

Well, if he's a mind-reader, you won't need to, right?

Damn these "A" cards.

Actually, that's a pretty graceful fall, I mean, by Gould's standards.

"So.......pity about the Dodgers, huh?"

"Did you hear what she did when she worked at Wumple & Co.?"

"I mean, all these bookies..."

Ah, the gang's all here. Except for that one kid, remember? Used to see him around all the time? Kinda tall, looked a bit like Ronald Reegan. What was his name again?

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I really haven't looked in on Harold lately but is he ever going to be conscripted?

Terrence will crash, land, or crash land his plane. Meet local resistance partisans, be fed a hot meal and tea,
which will include a nubile warm maiden lass of his dreams.