The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And finally...

"HEY!" yells Tommy.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I glanced across the tommies taken by the New Jersey farm labour union dues 'check off' ploy.
Must be connected to British rail union buffs I'll pip.

Ava Gardner divorced Mickey Rooney. Claims he ran away to his mother. Right. Chuckle that tosh Ava.

Gallant man, Thomas Abbey. New Yorker and policeman and Air Force pilot lost. Also First War veteran flier.
Greatest generation indeed.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Jus' make up ya minds!" fumes Joe, slapping at the paper in frustration." He sips his egg cream and sighs. "But anyways, rate weeh goin' it'll awl be oveh by Chris'mas." "That's roit, Joseph," nods Ma, as she quickly pulls the pouch full of little paper slips out of Leonora's inquisitive reach. "Ahhhhl ovarrr by Chris'mas.")

German occupation forces have cut off Vatican City from communication with the outside world, reported Catholic sources in Madrid today. In anticipation of just such a move, Pope Pius XII recently dispatched a number of special envoys to foreign countries, carrying detailed instructions to church hierarchy as to future steps. Nazi restrictions on the use of the Vatican Radio are said to have prevented neutral as well as belligerent diplomats at the Vatican from communicating with their respective governments for nearly three days. Hundreds of German troops are reported to have "summarily assumed protection" of St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican, as well as the Church of St. John's Lateran and College of Propagation of the Faith in Rome. German machine guns and anti-tank guns were said to be in place on church property both inside and outside the Vatican walls. Marshal Albert Kesselring, German military commander for southern and central Italy was reported to have sent a special emissary to see the Pope, but was refused an audience on the grounds that the legal government of Rome, under Premier Marshal Pietro Bagdolio, had declared the capital an open city, thus making the presence of German troops illegal.

Nazi-inspired reports persisted today that an Allied invasion of the Balkans is imminent, with Yugoslavia and Albania the most-frequently-mentioned landing points. The Germans put out thru neutral sources reports that the British 9th or 10th Army in the Middle East either had already embarked or was preparing to embark, and speculated on a role in such an invasion for the American 7th Army.

The Red Army today is racing the autumn rains toward Kiev in the Ukraine, main Nazi base in occcupied Russia, after smashing the last formidable German outpost to the northeast at Nehzin, just 72 miles away. Military observers in London predicted that Soviet forces will throw the Germans not only back to Kiev and other points along the Dnieper River, but possibly as far as the Polish border, 150 miles further west.

Australian forces are only two miles east of Lae today as Allied troops to the west advanced to attack a fourth enemy plantation strong point after blasting thru three others where the enemy is caught in deep pillboxes by American paratroopers and Australian artillery.

Mayor LaGuardia and Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine will be subpoenaed to appear before the Brooklyn grand jury investigating charges of hoodlumism in the Bedford-Stuyvesant district, it was learned today. The grand jury, under the foremanship of Leon Alexander, Jorelemon Street insurance man, was directed by Judge Louis Goldstein to mount the investigation on complaints from Brooklyn attorney Norman R. Silver that, not only is it dangerous to go abroad in that neighborhood after dark, but that police have been instructed by their superiors to "go easy" on hoodlums in the section. Yesterday, a police patrolman was called to testify, one accused by Joseph L. Reina of the Good Neighbors League, Inc. of having waved a club in his face and warning him to "keep his nose clean." Reina further charged that when he personally served that patrolman with a subpoena from the grand jury, the patrolman laughed and made an insulting remark, threatening to have detectives give him "a going over." The name of that patrolman was not disclosed.

Secret military information passed on to the Nazis in invisible-ink letters by accused spy Ernest Frederick Lehmitz was often no more than gossip picked up by Harry de Spretter aboard the Staten Island Ferry, it was stated by an FBI agent today in testimony in Brooklyn Federal Court. Agent Charles Stanley testified that de Spretter himself, seeking to minimize his role int he spy operation, had told him after his arrest that he relayed information on ship movements he overheard on the ferry to Lehmitz for transmission to Germany. Whether the information was correct or not, testified Agent Stanley, was not indicated.

The New York bartender who shot and wounded Theodore Roosevelt during a campaign appearance in 1912 died last night at the Wisconsin State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. John Flemming Schrank was sixty-seven years old, and had been an inmate at the asylum for 31 years without ever receiving a single visitor or a single piece of mail. Schrank shot Roosevelt point-blank in the chest with a .38 caliber Colt revolver while the former President, seeking a third term on the Bull Moose ticket, was preparing to make a campaign speech at a Milwaukee hotel. The bullet penetrated a spectacle case in Roosevelt's coat pocket, and the former President went on with his ninety-minute speech as scheduled before seeking medical attention for the bullet lodged in his chest.

("Whatcha sighin' at?" inquires Alice. "Nut'n," sighs Sally.)

("Um, sir," notes a low-level executive in the Bohack advertising department, "you've got the Giant wearing a Yankee hat! Won't that upset the Giant fans?" "Giant fans?" snickers the ad manager. "Are they still in the league?")

The Eagle Editorialist strongly opposes the suggestion by Judge Franklin Taylor that citizens on home relief be stripped of their right to vote in municipal elections. "If such a process were to be carried further," warns the EE, "we might soon find the suffrage exercised only by citizens of means. That would be the end of our dreams of freedom and equality under the law, and it would be the end of the democratic republic which has so long been the symbol of liberty and the inspiration of the downtrodden thruout the world."

(Well, I hear it's pretty good when fried..)

(How to say "I can't think of a column today" without actually saying it...

Another accomplishment of note for Freddie Fitzsimmons as manager of the Phillies -- with yesterday's win by Philadelphia over the GIants at Shibe Park, the Phils have, for the first time in many years, taken a season series from the New Yorkers, ending the year with a 14-8 record against the Giants. Interest in the Phils has peaked in Philadelphia since Fitz took over for Bucky Harris, with the club ending its season at Shibe Park with a total attendance approaching 500,000 -- nearly twice last year's total.

(Least imposing gangster since The Skull.)

("Iron Man?" Who'd care about a character like that??? C'mon Stamm, put in some effort.)

(CUT! No, I don't like the reaction, Emil -- try it again, and this time how 'bout you go "YI!")

(BEEF PIRATES DON'T STAND A CHANCE WITH AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG!)

(You can't say it isn't a useful skill to have...)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

The Vanderbilts are a valuable case study in the erosion of brand value.

"Oh, and we're not working with the Nazis anymore. Honest."

"Only one thing to do -- start commandeerin'!"

Yeah, good to see you're thinking it thru.

"Oh, and the Lee kid has been bumming around China since he was 12, and he picked up a few words along the way..."

And thus is born this weird figure of the dark -- this avenger of evil -- "the Goose-Man."

"Umm, yeah, doesn't everybody's?"

"Sure thing, Sarge -- I've been reading 'Terry and the Pirates' for years!"

You do have to admire her creativity.

It's a wonder the neighbors haven't burned this house down.

 

[Fading Fast]

("Jus' make up ya minds!" fumes Joe, slapping at the paper in frustration." He sips his egg cream and sighs. "But anyways, rate weeh goin' it'll awl be oveh by Chris'mas." "That's roit, Joseph," nods Ma, as she quickly pulls the pouch full of little paper slips out of Leonora's inquisitive reach. "Ahhhhl ovarrr by Chris'mas.")
...

Neat that Riverhead has its first police woman.

TV's first police woman:

...

The Red Army today is racing the autumn rains toward Kiev in the Ukraine, main Nazi base in occcupied Russia, after smashing the last formidable German outpost to the northeast at Nehzin, just 72 miles away. Military observers in London predicted that Soviet forces will throw the Germans not only back to Kiev and other points along the Dnieper River, but possibly as far as the Polish border, 150 miles further west.
...

Who would have guessed in 1943 that the Russians were just making a dry run for 2022.

...

(Least imposing gangster since The Skull.)
...

Plus, he dresses more like a Wall St executive in his grey subdued tick-weave suit, white shirt, and rep tie; no self-respecting gangster dresses that way. Where is his dark shirt, light tie and loud-patterned suit? And what gangster uses the phrase "my obtuse colleague?" Although, he does have a very 1940s gangster name.

...

"Only one thing to do -- start commandeerin'!"
...

Supply chain problems 1943 style.

...

"Oh, and the Lee kid has been bumming around China since he was 12, and he picked up a few words along the way..."
....

Kudos to Caniff, he's just doing his day-to-day thing, but could there be a more-iconic image of 1943 than this:

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

The couple embracing page is nice and a reminder of all that is best in life.

Vanderbilts have some renegade gene pool billiards game running.
And the Brooklyn spy trial article is interesting. America is much more open regards such hooliganism.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("At'tis pernt," sighs Joe, "I mize well go down'n enlist. An' ya know what? I would if t'ey'd let me. But t'ey say I'm in whatchacawl a 'sential job. So I gotta stay t'eh 'til t'ey cawl me." "Avvr'ything in its oon toime, Joseph," assures Ma, tucking the pouch full of little slips of paper behind the counter as Leonora fusses in protest. "I can't sleep at night f'worryin' 'bout it," continues Joe. "Lookit undeh me eyes, I look like Fred Allen. An' look heeh inna back, I'm losin' me haieh. See t'at? T'at's a bawld spot. I'm on'y t'oity! A bawld spot!" F'm worryin'! An' me on'y t'oity! Sal loves me haieh, y'know, she says it's one'a me best featchehs! An' I'm losin' it f'm worryin'!" "Well, me boy," shrugs Ma, "thaar's no sense waarryin' 'boot things beyaand ya controol. When ye go, ye go, an' what's gonna haap'n's gonna haap'n, so ye shouldn' spaaand aal ye energy waaryin' 'boot it. Remember, 'sufficient unto the day is the eevil thar'of." "Yeh," nods Joe. "Hey, who said t'at sayin', anyway." "It's the Boible, Joseph," says Ma. "The book 'a Job." "Really?" queries Joe, his eyebrow cocked with surprise. "Really," declares Ma. "Huh," shrugs Joe. "I coulda swoeh it was Chawrlie Chan.")

An Allied aerial offensive in the South Pacific was revealed today in official reports of a New Guinea air battle in which 59 Japanese planes were destroyed or damaged, and of attacks by 200 aircraft in a single day on enemy bases in the Solomon Islands. The communique from the headquarters of Gen. Douglas MacArthur disclosed the new burst of enemy warfare and at the same time announced the Japanese had recovered from earlier blows and rebuilt their New Guinea air strength to a greater level than ever before.

The Yugoslav partisan army under the command of General Josip (Tito) Brosovitch has captured four strategic ports on the Adriatic, as it consolidates positions along the 50-mile coastal sector which could be used by the Allies as landing points for an entrance into the Balkans from Southern Italy, it was disclosed today by a Yugoslav spokesman. The free Yugoslav radio reported that the patriot army under Gen. Draja Mikhailovitch has been successful in "violent battles" against the Germans along the coast.

Local ration boards in New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and the District of Columbia have been ordered by the Office of Price Administration to review all B and C gasoline ration books issued in those sectors and reduce rations to the absolute minimum necessary for essential purposes. It is anticipated that the supplemental rations will be cut sufficiently to achieve an overall reduction of 25 percent in gasoline consumption in the designated areas. Basic A ration books and those issued for commercial vehicles are not included in the order. Regional OPA administrator Sylvan L. Joseph acknowledged that there has been a general over-lenient approach to the issuance of B and C rations due to "the trying conditions under which those boards have had to work," and the review is intended to correct that problem.

In Manhattan Supreme Court, Justice Benedict Dineen has before him today a motion to allow the name of Magistrate Thomas Aurelio to remain on the November ballot as both the Republican and Democratic candidate for the Supreme Court bench, arguing that it was not inappropriate for him to express "his undying gratitude" to Frank Costello, so-called gambler and underworld character. Ever since Magistrate Auerilio acknowledged that Costello had aided him in securing the Democratic Party's nomination, both parties have been working to strike his name from the fall ballot. Aurelio's counsel, attorney Robert Elder, argued that his client's statement was merely "an acknowledgement of an obligation in consequence of a friendly act," and asserted that, had such an act come from a businessman or a clergyman, such support would not be seen as a disqualification. The attorney further noted that if Costello himself were a member of the bar, as well as a gambler, there would be nothing to disqualify him from nomination to the bench.

(Well, that was quick...)

A mysterious blood-soaked sweater found in the midget automobile owned by actor David G. Bacon is being examined by police as a clue in the so-called "Masked Marvel" murder case. The actor, who recently finished filming a role as "the Masked Marvel" in a motion-picture serial, was found dead in a roadside cabbage patch, half-dressed and pierced thru the back with a stiletto. His widow, concert singer Greta Keller, told police the bloody sweater found in his car was not his.

("Whatta ya want for ten cents an hour!")

(Very nice, Mr. Parrott.)

The Yankees announced today that all reserved and box seats for the this year's World Series games at the Stadium have been sold. 14,000 unreserved grandstand seats and 14,000 bleacher seats will go on sale on the day of each game only.

(WELL IF IT GETS PREMIERED IN BROOKLYN THEN IT MUST BE SOME HOT STUFF!)

(That's right, Waxey! Whenever there's nefarious doings afoot, involve the Boys from Marketing!)

(Handsome? Well, I suppose, in a Raymond Massey kind of way.)

(Careful kid, that makes you an accessory!)

("Well, how 'bout your horse then? We're not particular!")

(And they lived happily ever after...)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Fifteen packs of Greek cigarettes? You couldn't just buy two cartons?

Music isn't what it used to be. "Hit" is a scab label run by a renegade record executive named Eli Oberstein, who is not a friend of Mr. Petrillo. He records his masters in back-alley studios, and releases them under false names. And then he sells them at Davega.

Yeah, Terry, where HAVE you?

Don't forget the nose!

Oh, c'mon, let Super-Andy be Super!

Ceiling Limited.

There's a new world coming.

"I'll have to see your ration certificate, though. OH WAIT WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT THAT."

"That's funny, we had a full box when I left.."

C'mon, don't tease us like this...

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

I always enjoyed seeing the annual update on Mr Summers, but this day had to come eventually...

 

[Fading Fast]

("At'tis pernt," sighs Joe, "I mize well go down'n enlist. An' ya know what? I would if t'ey'd let me. But t'ey say I'm in whatchacawl a 'sential job. So I gotta stay t'eh 'til t'ey cawl me." "Avvr'ything in its oon toime, Joseph," assures Ma, tucking the pouch full of little slips of paper behind the counter as Leonora fusses in protest. "I can't sleep at night f'worryin' 'bout it," continues Joe. "Lookit undeh me eyes, I look like Fred Allen. An' look heeh inna back, I'm losin' me haieh. See t'at? T'at's a bawld spot. I'm on'y t'oity! A bawld spot!" F'm worryin'! An' me on'y t'oity! Sal loves me haieh, y'know, she says it's one'a me best featchehs! An' I'm losin' it f'm worryin'!" "Well, me boy," shrugs Ma, "thaar's no sense waarryin' 'boot things beyaand ya controol. When ye go, ye go, an' what's gonna haap'n's gonna haap'n, so ye shouldn' spaaand aal ye energy waaryin' 'boot it. Remember, 'sufficient unto the day is the eevil thar'of." "Yeh," nods Joe. "Hey, who said t'at sayin', anyway." "It's the Boible, Joseph," says Ma. "The book 'a Job." "Really?" queries Joe, his eyebrow cocked with surprise. "Really," declares Ma. "Huh," shrugs Joe. "I coulda swoeh it was Chawrlie Chan.")
...

Their twice-a-day meetings are the best. You know, if it hadn't been for the war, these two would never have gotten to understand each other - and gotten so close.

...

In Manhattan Supreme Court, Justice Benedict Dineen has before him today a motion to allow the name of Magistrate Thomas Aurelio to remain on the November ballot as both the Republican and Democratic candidate for the Supreme Court bench, arguing that it was not inappropriate for him to express "his undying gratitude" to Frank Costello, so-called gambler and underworld character. Ever since Magistrate Auerilio acknowledged that Costello had aided him in securing the Democratic Party's nomination, both parties have been working to strike his name from the fall ballot. Aurelio's counsel, attorney Robert Elder, argued that his client's statement was merely "an acknowledgement of an obligation in consequence of a friendly act," and asserted that, had such an act come from a businessman or a clergyman, such support would not be seen as a disqualification. The attorney further noted that if Costello himself were a member of the bar, as well as a gambler, there would be nothing to disqualify him from nomination to the bench.
...

We need more background, history and context on this story.

...

A mysterious blood-soaked sweater found in the midget automobile owned by actor David G. Bacon is being examined by police as a clue in the so-called "Masked Marvel" murder case. The actor, who recently finished filming a role as "the Masked Marvel" in a motion-picture serial, was found dead in a roadside cabbage patch, half-dressed and pierced thru the back with a stiletto. His widow, concert singer Greta Keller, told police the bloody sweater found in his car was not his.
...

That's the second time the term "midget automobile" has come up in this story. What did that term mean in 1943?

...

("Whatta ya want for ten cents an hour!")

...

One of Lichty's funnier ones and nice that it's not one of the three or four jokes he cycles through all the time.

...

(Handsome? Well, I suppose, in a Raymond Massey kind of way.)
...

The Frankenstein/singularity fear 1943 comicstrip style. So little is new.

...

("Well, how 'bout your horse then? We're not particular!")
...

Blackmarket supply chain issues 1943 style.

And in the Daily News...

Fifteen packs of Greek cigarettes? You couldn't just buy two cartons?
...

That's a heck of a complicated case with, I would think, jurisdiction being a big part of what needs sorting out.

...

Ceiling Limited.
...

In the years after the war, others will assume Skeezix had it easy being in ordinance and not fighting on the front line.

And also...

I always enjoyed seeing the annual update on Mr Summers, but this day had to come eventually...

In five or so years, our youngest WWII vets will be about 100.

 

[LizzieMaine]

"Midget auto," in this context, would be a small sports car, probably an imported English model of the sort you see Jeeves driving Bertie Wooster out to Aunt Agatha's estate in.

 

[Trenchfriend]

"Midget auto," in this context, would be a small sports car, probably an imported English model of the sort you see Jeeves driving Bertie Wooster out to Aunt Agatha's estate in.

Daihatsu Midget new as electric car, good idea!

 

[LizzieMaine]

And incidentally, Ma Sweeney's not much of a Bible scholar. That quote comes from Matthew, not Job. "Well," she huffs, "the principle's still sound!"

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

^ The Brooklyn spy trial plea settle will bestow prison more so than death. Considered this heinous betrayal
and the slaughter Nazi barbarism caused capital sentence is quite justified. The Crown series touched Edward's complicity in all this disgusting pie. Pity he never swung a rope. The gibbet lost.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("HAH!" hahs Alice with a triumphant hah. "A BLONDE! Ain'NAT AWRWAYS T'WAY! Wheneveh t'ez som'p'n doity goin' awn, back'v'it is AWRWAYS a blonde!" "Ahhhh, I dunno," sighs Sally. "I mean, how many blondes you eveh known? I mean, f'real blondes, not t'p'roxide kind." "Well," puzzles Alice. "Awright, not too many, but inna movies..." "Well, how many'a t'em dames inna movies," challenges Sally, "you t'ink is REAL blondes? Y't'ink V'ronica Lake is a real blonde? I read inna magazine heh real name's 'Ockelman." You eveh heah of any blonde named 'Ockleman?" Nah. Y't'ink Alice Faye is a real blonde? Nah. I know somebody went t'school wit'eh -- heh name was "Alice Leppeht," an' she wasn' no moeh blonde'n I am. Nah, t'at movie stuff izza bunk." "Oh," exhales Alice. "I guess t'at makes a diff'nce, t'en." "Y'can't assume stuff 'bout people f'm what coleh t'eh haieh is, awr junk like t'at," declares Sally. "T'at's awmos' whatcha cawl ya Nazi way'a t'inkin', y'know t'at?" "Jeez," shrugs Alice. "I neveh t'ought'v'it t'at way." "Well'en," declares Sally. "Ya loin't sump'n today t'en." "Ya know," continues Alice, "I jus' t'oughta sump'n. Siddy showed me a pitcheh a' him when he was a lit'l baby. An' HE was a blond. Back when he had haieh, I mean. He ain' a blond no moeh t'ough. Well, I mean, what haieh he's got ain' really blond no moeh, but he showed me t'is haieh his ma saved inna env'lope. An' it was blond. So I guess ya jus' can't tell." "No," sighs Sally, sinking back against the seat with her eyes closed. "Y'really can't.")

American Legion night at the Coney Island Mardi Gras brought out 400,000 merrymakers who watched 15,000 Legionnaires representing 71 Kings County posts and womens' auxiliaries parading to the music of their own drum, fife, and bugle corps. Last night's turnout raised the total Mardi Gras attendance to more than 1,500,000 and marked the tenth anniversary of the Legion's participation in the Mardi Gras. Among those marching behind a banner marked "BACK FROM GUADALCANAL" were 70 Marines, some of them showing the visible effects of the battle with bandages or arms in slings. The Mardi Gras climaxes today with the annual Baby Parade at 2:30 PM.

Two Yorkville youths face the electric chair for the brutal mugging of a Manhattan fireman, whom they are accused of kicking to death on 2nd Avenue in order to rob him for beer money. Pint-sized 18-year-old John Robert Winkler and husky red-headed 17-year-old Robert Kennedy calmly confessed yesterday to the murder of John P. Sullivan, whose mutilated body was found piled in the doorway of a plumbing shop at 1551 2nd Avenue in Manhattan on Tuesday. Sullivan's ear had been torn off during the assault, which netted the two boys a total of 98 cents. Police listened incredulously as the two youths outlined the details of their cold-blooded brutality.

The insignia appearing on American war planes will be altered by the War Department, effective immediately, in order to avoid confusion with the Japanese red-ball insignia. The red border surrounding the blue circle enclosing a white star, atop a white rectangle, will be changed to blue after pilots noted that during aerial combat the flash of red sometimes caused American planes to be mistaken for Japanese.

Two food buyers connected with the city Department of Purchase and eight food inspectors connected with the office of City Controller Joseph McGoldrick have been served with charges that they made large personal purchases of meat and eggs, at wholesale prices, from concerns that sell food to the city. All ten men will face departmental charges, it was announced by McGoldrick and Purchase Commissioner Albert Playdell. The charges were lodged following an internal probe by Commissioner of Investigations William Herlands.

("Noivous sta-mee-neh?" shrugs Joe. "Whassat?" "It means," explains Ma, "oh, it means, I s'pose, ye don' get too waarked up aboot whaat's happ'nin aroond ye." "Ah," ahs Joe. "Like when Sal wen' inta labeh at t'bawlgame. I guess I din' get too woiked up 'bout t'at, did I? I mean, it wasn' me t'at was goin' inta labeh a' nut'n, but..." "Ya done foine thaat day," nods Ma. "Thaat's exaactly what it means." "O'couehse, if it HAD been me goin' inta labeh," chuckles Joe, with a sip of his egg cream, "I guess I wouldn' hafta worry 'bout gett'n drafted!")

(WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR! Honestly, though, I'm surprised it took this long. What a disappointing anti-climax of a season. GO BUSHWICKS!)

Chuck Dressen and Rex Barney of the Dodgers joined Dave Soden on the stage of the Midwood Theatre last night, putting on a little act that netted a total war bond sale of $25,000.

(What, more local premieres? BROOKLYN -- B PICTURE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!)

(Honestly, though, why is Mary still here? She came to NYC, you will recall, to sort out the issue of Patti's grandfather's will, but that's been over for months. And meanwhile, back home Bill probably has the kids eating sliced cardboard because he burned the kitchen down...)

(Well this'll be disturbing...)

(EMIL WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RESIST THE SMELL OF FRESH DOUGHNUTS)

(DONT WORRY FOLKS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG IS ON THE...oh, is that lunch???)

(This is what is known as "a marketable skill.")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"A gentler time."

I'm glad Ella didn't mention "The Waiter with the Water," which by a remarkable coincidence is the song I am listening to at this exact moment. "I WANT THE WAITER WITH THE WATER FOR MY DAUGHTER!"

"Or, for that matter, your girdles..."

"Um, I never really thought about that. Do I -- um -- have any?"

"Well, fine. Now, about that tire you didn't turn in for reclamation..."

OH SURE MAYOR BALDY MCJERKFACE BLAME THE KIDS

Gawdawmighty. Skeez just can't catch a break.

I wonder how long it takes to actually don a suit of armor? Clearly super speed is another one of The Goose-Man's super-abilities.

Well, you could understand if the neighbors are just too terrified to do anything....

Hey, morphine is morphine.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

If he makes it home alive, he'll have plenty of stories he won't want to tell.

So will they.

 

[Fading Fast]

("HAH!" hahs Alice with a triumphant hah. "A BLONDE! Ain'NAT AWRWAYS T'WAY! Wheneveh t'ez som'p'n doity goin' awn, back'v'it is AWRWAYS a blonde!" "Ahhhh, I dunno," sighs Sally. "I mean, how many blondes you eveh known? I mean, f'real blondes, not t'p'roxide kind." "Well," puzzles Alice. "Awright, not too many, but inna movies..." "Well, how many'a t'em dames inna movies," challenges Sally, "you t'ink is REAL blondes? Y't'ink V'ronica Lake is a real blonde? I read inna magazine heh real name's 'Ockelman." You eveh heah of any blonde named 'Ockleman?" Nah. Y't'ink Alice Faye is a real blonde? Nah. I know somebody went t'school wit'eh -- heh name was "Alice Leppeht," an' she wasn' no moeh blonde'n I am. Nah, t'at movie stuff izza bunk." "Oh," exhales Alice. "I guess t'at makes a diff'nce, t'en." "Y'can't assume stuff 'bout people f'm what coleh t'eh haieh is, awr junk like t'at," declares Sally. "T'at's awmos' whatcha cawl ya Nazi way'a t'inkin', y'know t'at?" "Jeez," shrugs Alice. "I neveh t'ought'v'it t'at way." "Well'en," declares Sally. "Ya loin't sump'n today t'en." "Ya know," continues Alice, "I jus' t'oughta sump'n. Siddy showed me a pitcheh a' him when he was a lit'l baby. An' HE was a blond. Back when he had haieh, I mean. He ain' a blond no moeh t'ough. Well, I mean, what haieh he's got ain' really blond no moeh, but he showed me t'is haieh his ma saved inna env'lope. An' it was blond. So I guess ya jus' can't tell." "No," sighs Sally, sinking back against the seat with her eyes closed. "Y'really can't.")
...

What I learned in my dating years is there is a codicil to the "real blonde" definition that says if a woman was blonde as a girl, but her hair darkened in her teens, then even though she now has to dye it to be blonde, she is still a "real" blonde. This might not sound logical, but if you want to have sex with her, it is usually a good idea to just agree with the argument and move on.

...

View attachment 546915
(WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR! Honestly, though, I'm surprised it took this long. What a disappointing anti-climax of a season. GO BUSHWICKS!)
...

I'm surprised too. It's even worse today, as with all the wildcard teams, the 2023 and 17.5-games-out Yankees are mathematically still in the playoff race. What a joke.

...

OH SURE MAYOR BALDY MCJERKFACE BLAME THE KIDS
...

Also, nice compassion for the dead man: "it's not about him, it's about the disgrace his death will bring on me." Jeez.

...

Gawdawmighty. Skeez just can't catch a break.
...

"Mae Wests," nice.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

What I learned in my dating years is there is a codicil to the "real blonde" definition that says if a woman was blonde as a girl, but her hair darkened in her teens, then even though she now has to dye it to be blonde, she is still a "real" blonde. This might not sound logical, but if you want to have sex with her, it is usually a good idea to just agree with the argument and move on.

quod apud Latinos non addices, Grecia facunda docebit.

what you will not learn among the Latins, eloquent Greece will teach.
Adelard of Bath

 

[EngProf]

Another likely suspect for the "midget car" is the Austin Bantam - coupe or roadster - produced in the mid-thirties.
Drag racers in the sixties used Austin bodies with Chrysler or Chevrolet engines for drag racing - small = light weight.