The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

Do you get the feeling some of the language here has been -- modified?

 

[Fading Fast]

("Yeee've gaat no'thin' t'waary aboot," declares Uncle Frank, as he sips on his two-cents-plain. "Thaat boy couuldn't hit the broad soide of a baaarn if ye built the baarn six feet in fraant of him. He nevaar hit the tarrget once." "An' ye didn't encaaarage him none," replies Ma. "Ye didn't tell him he'd get bettar, did ye?" "Oi didn't need to say no'thin'. The oonly thing the boy hit the whoole toime we waas out tharr was a seagull, twenty feet in the air. Poor lad insisted on runnin' t'foind it, aan' when he sawww whaat he'd doon, he tarrned a broit shade of green." Uncle Frank pauses to take another sip. "Aannd then, " he continues, "when the toime come t'take out the eempty shells, he got his fingarr caught b'tween the cylindarr aaand the frame of the gonn! Cut himsalf aal oop. Nahh, Oi think it's safe t'say the aarmy woon't haave much use faar the loikes if him." "An' ye didn't sayy anything else to him, did ye?" presses Ma. "He didn't ask ye how ye comm t'know how t'haandle a gonn." "Oi told him how Oi used to be an aaarmed guard on a delivery vann," chuckles Uncle Frank. "Which is the Gaaad's honest truth. Oi just didn't say annnything aboot what we waas deliverin'." Ma exhales. "Aaan' ye sure thaar's noothin' ye can doo with the draaaft board when his toime comes?" "Nora," insists Uncle Frank, "eev'n if I could, I wooudln't. Thaar's a war on, ye know. Ann'd there's toimes when ye..." "Me hoosband nevarr come baack from the laaast war," snaps Ma. "I don't need the loikes a' ye to be tallin' me aboot warr. They aalready got me boy Michael who's Gaad knoows wharr, an' thaar NOT gonna get Joseph too." "Nora," declares, Uncle Frank, "yaar hoosband nevarr come baack from the waar becoose he run aaaf with a French taart! Joseph dotes on ye daaghter aan' that little gaarl, aan' if thaar's one man on aaarth thaat would passs oout cold if a French taaart s'much as winked at'im, t'haaat's Joseph. Now staap ye waaaryin', an' tell me what ye got laid aan f'sooparr. Whaat if I told ye I could get me haaands aaan a cooople a' noice steaaks?" "Hmph," hmphs Ma. "Oi'd ask aroond the race traacks to see whoo's missin' from th' paadock!" Uncle Frank takes another sip and winks. "Ye'r the divil himself, Francis," huffs Ma. "Sooparr's at six.")
...

"yaar hoosband nevarr come baack from the waar becoose he run aaaf with a French taart!"

"thaar's one man on aaarth thaat would passs oout cold if a French taaart s'much as winked at'im"

"Oi'd ask aroond the race traacks to see whoo's missin' from th' paadock!"

...

A small fortune in gold and gems confiscated from convicted Murder-For-Money Gang gunman Emanuel "Mendy" Weiss, henchman of Louis "Lepke" Buchalter, will be sold at public auction next week to satisfy Weiss's tax debt to the Federal Government. Items to be sold incude a diamond-encrusted gold belt buckle, a gold wristwatch, a three-diamond gold ring, a fine gold Swiss pocket watch, a gold watch chain with a gold pocket knife and gold mechanical pencil attached, and a gold cigar holder. The items were seized by Treasury agents
after Weiss was arrested in Kansas City in April 1940.
...

A gold cigar holder? Gold is not really a good metal for that. Unless they mean a gold cigar case and not really a holder in the sense of the thing you put in your mouth and smoke the cigar through.

...

(That's Robert Riggs the artist, not Bobby Riggs the tennis hustler. But I'm sure Bobby would wrestle a snake if he thought there was money in it.)
...

The Duke of Windsor was a huge clotheshorse with a staff to carefully care for his wardrobe. An eleven-year-old suit in his closet means something very different from an eleven-year-old suit in a regular person's closet.

...

(C'mon, Fritz, you can do better than this jerky little twerp. And that typewriter's nifty, but let's see if it can do Russian, Chinese, or Hebrew.)
...

Today's "Fritzi Ritz" read like a "Harold Teen" Sunday strip, just replace Phil with Shadow.

I hear you on the typewriter, but it still sounds pretty cool and probably complicated as h*ll to work.

...

(Careful, Sherry, you've got a bigger chin than he does. And sorry, Phil, "Pouf!" is never going to catch on.)

At least by today's standards, there is hardly a case that Dan Dunn or Dick Tracy, for that matter, would bring to court that a reasonably competent defense attorney couldn't get thrown out for multiple legal reasons around warrants, illegal searches, entrapment, jurisdiction, evidence tampering and on and on.

...

Anyway, Tracy always preferred Eddy Duchin.
...

I absolutely swear I had not read this far down when I wrote the comment above about Tracy under today's Dan Dunn strip. Ironically, this is possibly Tracy's most egregious act as it really is murder. It's shocking: no warning, no "come out with your hands up," he just opened fired on 88 when he was all but trapped and blind in a shack.

...

For those who came in late...
...

Heck, I haven't missed a day, but I found that explanation very helpful.

...

Of course, you'll have to be screened by the FBI first. "WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT RED TAPE!" yells Warbucks. "JOIN *MY* ARMY!" "Uhhh, no thanks, I zaw what you made dot man mit der turban do..."

"Well it's join my army or go join your German buddies in the rattrap!.......Well, what will it be?"

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking, give me a minute!"

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Ryan has a fine strategic sense but the shipwreck merchant able bodied deck crew guise could easily wreck
like Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destined Disaster. Warren Buffet once remarked to never sell Disney.

 

[Madhouse27]

A weekend length Terry and the Pirates and a Bar Harbor mention with the Oakes murder. It’s a good day!

 

[LizzieMaine]

("My pal Solly Pincus is in one'a t'em tank units," sighs Joe, scanning the front page. "T'at's awl I know. Y'know, one time him an' me had lunch at t'is Italian jernt in Williamsboig. He had spaghetti wit' whatcha cawl scungilli on top. Y'know what t'at is? T'at's snails. Cut up snails. 'When in Rome...' Solly says. I tried some, it wa'n bad. I wonneh if wheah he is now he's gonna have time t'eat snails." Ma Sweeney looks across the counter sympathetically, glancing at the bandage on Joe's finger. "Hey," Joe continues, folding the paper and tossing it down. "I mean' t'ask. What kin'a unit is Mickey in?" Ma is quiet for a long moment, industriously and unnecessarily wiping a dishtowel across the shiny nickel-plated fountain spouts. "Oi don't know, Joseph," she finally sighs. "You saw that lettar he wrote. He nevaar said." "An'nat's t'on'y letteh y'got since he shipp't out," notes Joe. "Michael waas nevarr moch f'wroitin'. When he waas livin' oopstate, he nevarr wrote. Aalways busy, thaat boy. Allways oop t'som'thin' he was." Joe regards his mother-in-law for a long moment, considering his reply. "He'll be awright," he finally returns, in a low voice. "He awrwas is." "Thank ye, Joseph," replies Ma, without taking her eyes off the shining spouts.)

WIth a storm of protest erupting over the packer-direct-to-consumer meat stall established at Washington Market, slaughters' legal counsel Nathan Swerdler of Brooklyn stated today that he will advise his clients to shut down the venture. "It was never their plan, nor certainly mine," the attorney stated, "to put any man out of business. The market stall, opened last week by Sonowitz and Lottstein, meatpackers, of Stamford, Connecticut attracted throngs of meat-hungry consumers who carted away 27,000 pounds of meat over the weekend. Previous to Swerdler's announcement, a meeting was scheduled for tonight by the New York Retail Meat Dealers' Association to consider action on the packers' retail venture. The executive board of the Federation of Kosher Butchers of Greater New York was also planning to meet this week to consider action.

Although Mayor LaGuardia was en route to Alaska when the hour struck yesterday for his regular weekly broadcast over WNYC, his voice rang out as usual by means of electrical transcription. The Mayor made the recording while on his way to Fairbanks, where he is taking part in a meeting of the Permanent Joint Board of Defense for the United States and Canada. The transcription, made in advance of the Allied landings in Sicily, contained no hint of that development, other than the warning that there must be no relaxation of the city's vigilance against air raids. "We must not whine," stated the Mayor. "We must not complain. We must not protest. And by all means we must not ask our government to take weapons of war that are needed on the fronts in our offensive campaign away from that purpose and keep them at home."

On the food front, the Mayor, in his transcription broadcast, suggested, half seriously, that the shortage of meat in the United States and the shortage of liquor in Canada could be remedied by an exchange between the two nations. "I'll tell you something if you don't tell anybody," confided the Mayor. "They're rather short of liquor, but they take it very graciously. I've heard no one grousing about it, so I told them that I'd be glad to arrange to swap liquor for meat, and if that could be arranged, I think we'd get the best of the bargain."

Members of the Gasoline Merchants of Brooklyn and Queens will vote tomorrow on a strike proposal that would close 1000 gasoline stations across the two boroughs, in protest of current OPA regulations, including the most recent decision allowing vacation travel. Association business manager Louis Kimmel called the new position on vacation travel "a direct invitation to purchase gasoline on the black market," because, Kimmel asserted, "no one has saved coupons" for vacation use. The vote comes following an OPA announcement that its agents will be on patrol next weekend to insure that only authorized motorists are engaged in pleasure driving. Only A card holders will be permitted to apply to their ration boards for permission to use their coupons for one round trip to and from a vacation spot. No B or C coupons may be used for such purpose.

(But what about this colonel whose name came up yesterday? What's he got to do with this? Who does he know? Who does he report to? Dammit, Harry, INVESTIGATE.)

("Star and Garter" without Gypsy and Bobby is like bacon and eggs without bacon or eggs. I'll give it three weeks.)

Reader J. Smith is inspired by the new Red Cross courses in nursing being offered to men to suggest that the idle men one still sees sitting on park benches could be put to work in jobs vacated by women who have gone into various types of war service. "Many men, handicapped by age or disability are well qualified to do housework, to mind children, to sew and knit, to launder, or to nurse. My grandfather raised four of us! Every one of us can and should do something."

("Except for me, of course. Tee time is 11 am!")

Police hope that today will see the clouded mind of Alice Clarfield clear up enough to unlock what happened on the fateful night of July 7th, when she and her roommate were assaulted in their bed by an unknown assailant wielding a wooden bludgeon. Thirty-year-old Betty Fitelson was beaten to death in the assault, and Miss Clarfield has remained at Jewish Hospital in serious condition since the night of the attack. Police attempted to question her on Saturday, but she was only able to ask "where am I?" and "where's Betty?" Meanwhile, funeral services were held yesterday for Miss Fitelson, a divorcee, at a Flatbush funeral home surrounded by a score of policemen on the chance that the killer, attracted by morbid curiosity, might show up. Approximately 200 persons crowded into the tiny chapel to hear a eulogy delivered by Rabbi Sigmund Rome of the Tree of Life temple. The murdered woman's father, Abraham Fitelson, wept with grief during the service.

("What t'ese bawlplayehs need," fumes Sally, "is a union! An' appernt Vaughan shop stewehd! T'noive'a t'at Durocheh. Newsom's been'a bes' pitcheh t'ey got t'is yeeh, an' now what's he gonna do?" "T'at's a nice pitchehra' Petey," comments Alice, leaning over to glance at the page as the train bumps its way home. "Anna'ts anot'eh t'ing," grouches Sally. "Bes' fieldin' secon' baseman inna league, an'ney don' put'im onna Awl Stawrs! What kin'a mess izzat? I ASK YA!" "Higsby got beat," smirks Alice. "Y'know, I tol' Mah-me G what he done t'me an' ya know what she cawl't 'im? A 'noyef!' Y'know what t'at means?" Sally shakes her head, and Alice leans over and whispers in her ear. "Yeh," nods Sally. "But you knew t'at goin' in!")

Mrs. H. B. writes in to Doc Brady to wonder about the little curls of sharp metal she sometimes sees falling into the food when she opens a can. "It is possible, of course," sighs the Doc, that a sharp bit of metal might puncture the stomach or intestine if swallowed. But that is scarcely worth worrying about."

("That's right. I, a world famous medical specialist for whatever it is that's wrong with you, will sweep the floor!")

("Yut tittle futz!" Well, that's easy enough to translate.)

(And not only that, wait'll the epsom salts take effect!)

(NEVER FEAR AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG WILL CARRY HOME THE GROCERIES! Mmmm! Brisket!)

(And even worse than that, this is a movie line.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Three years old.

"Popular Manager of the Dodgers." Well, those other two guys are definitely not Newsom and Vaughan.

Pfft, you guys have dealt with far worse than this. War has made you complacent.

You know, joining the Navy isn't quite like getting a job in a gas station.

Sometimes Mr. Clark draws with a brush, sometimes Mr. Clark draws with a knife.

"And when Internal Affairs comes around, that's just what you'll tell 'em. Right? Right."

Sorry bud, you won't meet too many blondes in Sicily.

He's as good looking as Downwind Jaxon!

"Live Alone and Like It!"

"Also some capable witnesses."

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

Well, if there's anyone who'd know about spitters, it's Casey.

 

[Fading Fast]

("My pal Solly Pincus is in one'a t'em tank units," sighs Joe, scanning the front page. "T'at's awl I know. Y'know, one time him an' me had lunch at t'is Italian jernt in Williamsboig. He had spaghetti wit' whatcha cawl scungilli on top. Y'know what t'at is? T'at's snails. Cut up snails. I tried some, it wa'n bad. I wonneh if wheah he is now he's gonna have time t'eat snails." Ma Sweeney looks across the counter sympathetically, glancing at the bandage on Joe's finger. "Hey," Joe continues, folding the paper and tossing it down. "I mean' t'ask. What kin'a unit is Mickey in?" Ma is quiet for a long moment, industriously and unnecessarily wiping a dishtowel across the shiny nickel-plated fountain spouts. "Oi don't know, Joseph," she finally sighs. "You saw that lettar he wrote. He nevaar said." "An'nat's t'on'y letteh y'got since he shipp't out," notes Joe. "Michael waas nevarr moch f'wroitin'. When he waas livin' oopstate, he nevarr wrote. Aalways busy, thaat boy. Allways oop t'som'thin' he was." Joe regards his mother-in-law for a long moment, considering his reply. "He'll be awright," he finally returns, in a low voice. "He awrwas is." "Thank ye, Joseph," replies Ma, without taking her eyes off the shining spouts.)
...

They have such a great relationship. They know the boundaries of what can and cannot be said and and they communicate in such a wonderfully nuanced and oblique way. Well done, Lizzie.

...

Although Mayor LaGuardia was en route to Alaska when the hour struck yesterday for his regular weekly broadcast over WNYC, his voice rang out as usual by means of electrical transcription. The Mayor made the recording while on his way to Fairbanks, where he is taking part in a meeting of the Permanent Joint Board of Defense for the United States and Canada. The transcription, made in advance of the Allied landings in Sicily, contained no hint of that development, other than the warning that there must be no relaxation of the city's vigilance against air raids. "We must not whine," stated the Mayor. "We must not complain. We must not protest. And by all means we must not ask our government to take weapons of war that are needed on the fronts in our offensive campaign away from that purpose and keep them at home."
...

Using a transcription, bad symbolism for his musicians' union supporters.

...

("That's right. I, a world famous medical specialist for whatever it is that's wrong with you, will sweep the floor!")
...

I caught the plot signaling too. Many a sitcom/TV romance movie has used this plot line as well.

And in the Daily News...

Three years old.
...

H&H couldn't have bought better advertising.

Why wouldn't the hospital have its own inhalator? Could they be that expensive that the hospital can't afford a single one?

...

Pfft, you guys have dealt with far worse than this. War has made you complacent.
...

If I ever get to Japan, yes, yes, I want to see the Makioka Sisters' cherry trees, but also high on the list is riding on a bullet train and going to a baseball game. I love that baseball is popular in Japan.

...

"And when Internal Affairs comes around, that's just what you'll tell 'em. Right? Right."
...

Tracy's in full CYA mode; that is not how this went down.

Body camera!

...

You know, joining the Navy isn't quite like getting a job in a gas station.
...

Grab the citizenship offer while you can, dude, you'll want that for after the war.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Joe never knew his mother -- he was raised primarily by his older sister, so despite getting off to a rough start in their relationship, he has warmed to Ma considerably, especially since Leonora was born. And Ma, though she was wary of her daughter marrying "some daaancin' boohunk," as she put it, has also come to appreciate Joe's finer qualities, especially in view of her own son's -- ah -- issues, which have much to do with his own fraught upbringing.

At least that's my theory, anyway. I just observe these people and pass along what they do.

If Tracy gets away with this without even an investigation, the Chief himself should be up on charges too. However, knowing how Gould is, I doubt very much that this will happen. He himself doesn't seem to be awfully broken up about the fate of Mr. Keyes...

Couldn't even bother to spell his name right.

 

[Fading Fast]

Joe never knew his mother -- he was raised primarily by his older sister, so despite getting off to a rough start in their relationship, he has warmed to Ma considerably, especially since Leonora was born. And Ma, though she was wary of her daughter marrying "some daaancin' boohunk," as she put it, has also come to appreciate Joe's finer qualities, especially in view of her own son's -- ah -- issues, which have much to do with his own fraught upbringing.

At least that's my theory, anyway. I just observe these people and pass along what they do.

If Tracy gets away with this without even an investigation, the Chief himself should be up on charges too. However, knowing how Gould is, I doubt very much that this will happen. He himself doesn't seem to be awfully broken up about the fate of Mr. Keyes...

View attachment 531940
Couldn't even bother to spell his name right.

88 was a murderer and I'm not shedding any tears over his death for his sake. Yet, to remain a country of laws - of the rule of law - and not vigilante justice, we need to hold our police accountable to the law, which includes their own policies, rules and procedures.

Joe and Ma have evolved in a very believable way. With different specifics, we've all seen the same thing happen in our families.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Terrence is slow moving, and I leave most other strips alone.

I must see Oppenheimer when it premiers here in London.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Awww," awws Sally. "I loved t'at Parehchute Jump at t' Woil's Faieh. Me'n Joe musta gone onnat t'ing a dozen times. We'd be up t'eh, Joe'd be yellin' down HELLO FOLKS, an' y'c'd see awla way t'Joisey. I losta hat up t'eh oncet, a nice summeh hat I got at Namm's. Blew right off inna wind. Maybe it blew awlaway t'Joisey, I dunno." "I mist' t' Woil's Faieh," shrugs Alice. "Awlat was when I was -- um -- upstate." "T'ey had awlkindsa crazy stuff," recalls Sally. "T'ey had t'is one t'ing cawled 'De-Bunk-'Eh.' It wazzis goil in a bed, right? An' ya t'row a basebawl atta tawrget an' if ya hit it right, it tips t'bed oveh an' dumps'eh awna flooeh. Joe an' Solly Pincus musta spent five bucks one day try'na tip t'at t'ing oveh, but t'goil jus' laid t'eh read'n a movie magazine like it was nut'n. I sez t'Joe, I sez, 'see, t'at's why t'ey cawllis faieh 'ed'jacational! Ya loint ya lesson, din'cha!!' "Hey," chuckles Alice. 'T''parehchute jump is downa Steeplechase Pawrk now. We otta go out t'eh some Sunday. I wanna try it out. An' maybe it'd be nice feh you'n Joe to go awn it, y'know, one moeh time f'ol' times sake befoeh he..." Sally shoots Alice a wounded glare. "Oh," stammers Alice. "I don' mean like f'reveh, I do'n mean like y'woul'n have a chance afteh t'wawr t' -- what I mean is...aw, skip it." "Yeh," shrugs Sally, forcing herself to brighten. "Hey. I eveh tellya 'bout t'time Joe wen' innat 'Twenny T'ousan' Legs Unneh T'Sea,' 'cause he t'ought it was about fish?")

German attacks slackened at the northern end of the Orel-Belgorod front today, presumably because of losses ranging from 45,000 men and 2622 tanks over the past seven days, as the official Soviet newspaper Isvestia declared that it is obvious that the Axis summer offensive has failed. Although the Germans continued to hurl reinforcements against the Soviet lines at the southern end of the front, communiques and dispatches emphasized that Soviet forces everywhere were holding firm and taking a heavy toll on Nazi men and machines.

("Hey, Sal," inquires Alice. "Whatcha lookin' at? Sal??")

An Army deserter and two companions were captured by an alert patrolman outside Riverhead, Long Island following a wild thirteen-mile auto chase along Route 25 until the fleeing car ran out of gas at Mattituck. Eighteen-year-old Army Private John H. Harper, a Bronx native, was arrested and held for military police on a charge of unauthorized absence from Fort Devens, Massachusetts, from which he deserted over a month ago. Arrested with Harper were 17-year-old Margaret Margaret Amend and 18-year-old John J. Finnegan, both also of the Bronx. Riverhead Patrolman Chester Kowalski had noticed the three entering a restaurant and challenged them, and when Harper was unable to provide satisfactory answers to his questions, he stepped to a nearby police booth to call headquarters. While the patrolman was on the phone, the three youths made a break for it in their car. Kowalski set out in pursuit but was unable to pass the fleeing auto on the narrow two-lane highway, and Harper refused to pull over despite Kowalski firing several warning shots. Upon running out of gas, Harper presented a chauffeur's license, with the photograph peeled off, in the name of Ferdinand Masi of the Bronx. Upon investigation, it was learned that the car did belong to Masi, but that Hooper had stolen it from a parking space on Mayflower Avenue on July 5th.

New York's prospects of beef on the table in the near future appeared suddenly brighter today with indications of a collapse of the strike against OPA wholesale ceiling prices, but consumers may soon face a fish shortage instead. Predictions that the end of the beef shortage rested on figures indicating that there has been a sharp increase in the number of cattle sent to slaughter at the nation's 12 principal stockyards over the two weeks. But protests by fishermen of the OPA's ceiling on prices paid at the boat for live fish have led to a "tie up strike" in Connecticut that may cause a reduction in the fish supply to New York of three to twenty-five percent depending on how long the strike lasts and whether it spreads to other important New England fishing ports.

("Heff'a what? Don'cha wawn' I should put t'whole t'ing?")

"Housewife" writes in to deplore the recent outrageous and unfair letter from a Mr. Rockville complaining about women. "It is obvious that he is a man who has had an unfortunate experience with a woman," she frowns, "and he attributes to our sex all the faults he found in her. I wonder what kind of a mother he had?"

("Straight from the fridge, daddy-o!")

("Hey!" yells Joe, on the floor at the Sperry Gyroscope Company's Bush Terminal works, hoping to be heard over the grinding of lathes and drill presses. "TOIN' UP T'RADIO!" And the foreman does so, and this is what the workers hear, in the first All Star Game scheduled to be played entirely at night. Red Barber and Mel Allen call the action:

)

Bettors give the National League a 6-5 edge in tonight's All Star Game, with the odds tilting in the senior circuit's favor largely because its lineup is dominated by St. Louis Cardinals. It'll be a big night for St. Louis fans, with Brownies Vern Stephens and Chet Laabs starting for the American League -- and when was the last time two Browns accomplished that? Answer -- never!

(Don't try to kid us. You're no WASP.)

(GOOD HEAVENS NOW WHAT could be the slogan for this entire strip.)

("Dr Putty? Sounds like another one of Irwin's stupid aliases. Ha ha, remember him?")

(I'LL WIN AN OSCAR FOR THIS FOR SURE IF COMICS GOT OSCARS.)

(Plaster of paris applied to bare skin can cause severe burns. THROW HIM OUT THE WINDOW.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News..

Common-law marriage was common in many states thru the first half of the 20th Century, and it was gooey legal situations like the Bellamy matter, and not crusading religious moralism, that caused it to fall out of favor.

Indeed.

DER TEPPICH! DER TEPPICH! DER TEPPICH!

"That's right, a lesson! That lunatic cop could've shot YOU too!"

"Fake beards? WELL THAT'S NOT GOING TO HELP ME!"

Speaking of makeup...

"Psst, toots -- what's he paying YOU?" "Two dollars a day plus lunch. But I'm quittin' as soon as I get that callback from 'Star and Garter.'"

"So forget all that 'Taffy Tucker' stuff and get back to your unit!"

Ah, neighborhood life.

Worst uncle ever.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

Williams only went 2 for 4? The Boston press will roast him alive.

 

[Fading Fast]

...

("Hey, Sal," inquires Alice. "Whatcha lookin' at? Sal??")

...

Fingers crossed hard.

...

An Army deserter and two companions were captured by an alert patrolman outside Riverhead, Long Island following a wild thirteen-mile auto chase along Route 25 until the fleeing car ran out of gas at Mattituck. Eighteen-year-old Army Private John H. Harper, a Bronx native, was arrested and held for military police on a charge of unauthorized absence from Fort Devens, Massachusetts, from which he deserted over a month ago. Arrested with Harper were 17-year-old Margaret Margaret Amend and 18-year-old John J. Finnegan, both also of the Bronx. Riverhead Patrolman Chester Kowalski had noticed the three entering a restaurant and challenged them, and when Harper was unable to provide satisfactory answers to his questions, he stepped to a nearby police booth to call headquarters. While the patrolman was on the phone, the three youths made a break for it in their car. Kowalski set out in pursuit but was unable to pass the fleeing auto on the narrow two-lane highway, and Harper refused to pull over despite Kowalski firing several warning shots. Upon running out of gas, Harper presented a chauffeur's license, with the photograph peeled off, in the name of Ferdinand Masi of the Bronx. Upon investigation, it was learned that the car did belong to Masi, but that Hooper had stolen it from a parking space on Mayflower Avenue on July 5th.
...

One, Thankfully Dick Tracy wasn't pursuing them as there'd be three dead bodies because "they didn't respond to my warning shots." "Uh-huh, that's been happening a lot with your pursuits lately, Dick."

Two, "Margaret Margaret Amend," if a typo, whatever, if not, WTF were her parent's thinking?

...

"Housewife" writes in to deplore the recent outrageous and unfair letter from a Mr. Rockville complaining about women. "It is obvious that he is a man who has had an unfortunate experience with a woman," she frowns, "and he attributes to our sex all the faults he found in her. I wonder what kind of a mother he had?"
...

This is evergreen as a subset of both sexes do this, "all men are horrible," "you can't trust any women," to this day. We all have people in our lives like that and they are exhausting.

...

Bettors give the National League a 6-5 edge in tonight's All Star Game, with the odds tilting in the senior circuit's favor largely because its lineup is dominated by St. Louis Cardinals. It'll be a big night for St. Louis fans, with Brownies Vern Stephens and Chet Laabs starting for the American League -- and when was the last time two Browns accomplished that? Answer -- never!
...

Joe wondered why there was so much noise coming from Ma's "backroom" today, but she said they were "doing inventory."

And in the Daily News..

Common-law marriage was common in many states thru the first half of the 20th Century, and it was gooey legal situations like the Bellamy matter, and not crusading religious moralism, that caused it to fall out of favor.
...

So Abby Rockefeller was the world's wealthiest heiress and beautiful, some people really are born on third base. That said, even money that she wasn't any more happy than, say, Sally.

...

DER TEPPICH! DER TEPPICH! DER TEPPICH!
...

"DER TEPPICH!" Well done, Lizzie.

...

"Fake beards? WELL THAT'S NOT GOING TO HELP ME!"
...

"You see, it's not really Mister Lieutenant Pat, it really is" [Pat's cut off]
"You are a Mister?"
"Well, yes."
"And a Lieutenant?"
"Umm, yes."
"And your name is Pat?"
"Sure, yes."
"Okay, then, Mist, Loot-nint Pat, as I was saying."

Press release: Seeing unrelenting demand from our comicstrip customer base and with our goal to be a one-stop shop for all the needs of our clients, Basements 'r Us, today, is proud to announce the opening of our new subdivision, Spirit Gums 'r Us, which will carry a full line of spirits gums, fake beards and other costuming needs. When you think crazy comicstrip plot, think Basements 'r Us.

 

[LizzieMaine]

It's just a good thing that there was at least one police box on Long Island that Wacky Babs didn't get.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I seldom look beyond Terrence but this evening noticed that cute raven in Dan Dunn. Quite a bird that.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("I seen a guy one time downa Coney Islan' useta eat razor blades," observes Joe. "An' light bulbs too, he'd have a coupla t'em, y'know, whatt'ey cawl ya appehtizeh, an'nen he'd take a han'fulla razeh blades an' down'ey'd go, an'nen he'd take a slug'a lighteh fluid, awr whateveh was innis glass he had, an' he'd breat'e out an' light it on fieh. An'nen he'd take a big bite outta t'glass. You eveh see any'ting like t'at?" Ma chuckles softly as she pushes Joe's drink across the counter. "Well," she replies, "one time when Sally was a little garrl, she swallehed haaahfa doozen nick'ls." "Huh!" huhs Joe thru a mouthful of egg cream. "Howcome she done'at?" "Oi donn't b'lieve it was harrr idea," explains Ma. "Oi b'lieve Michael fed'em to 'er." "Did'ee pull onneh awrm too?" snickers Joe. "What?" "Nuh---*Slurrrrrrrrrrp.*--t'n.")

The ten-day-old battle for Kursk appears to be swinging in the direction of the Russians, as mounting Soviet counterattacks are seen as pointing toward a full scale counteroffensive. The Red Army, buttressed by strong reinforcements of tanks, was reported to be clipping off German wedges in bitter fighting around Belgorod, and field dispatches asserted that the Russians were wrestling the initiative from the enemy all along the 165-mile Kursk front. The Russians were hurling large forces into simultaneous counterattacks against the point and flanks of wedges driven into their lines near Belgorod in the face of the early stages of the German summer offensive begun last week.

President Roosevelt's hint that he intends to return the coal mines to private ownership threatened today to upset the United Mine Workers' back-to-work terms, raising the prospect of a new crisis in the continuing dispute. Mr. Roosevelt's remarks, coupled with investigations by Federal agents of wildcat strikes in Pennsylvania indicated the possibility of new Administration moves against the UMW and its president John L. Lewis. The President in his press conference yesterday called attention to a clause in the Smith-Connally anti-strike law requiring that a plant or mine seized by the Government must be returned to private ownership as soon as is practicable, but not more than 60 days after production returns to levels prevailing before seizure.

A declaration of a meat emergency is expected today from Food Distribution Administration officials in Washington and the regional office of the FDA is reported to be standing ready to arrange for rush shipments to consumers under the terms of that declaration. Following a sharp drop in pork supplies, which dealers say constitute the bulk of current mean transactions, the local office of the OPA forwarded to Washington last night official recognition of the critical situation now prevailing.

The local fish situation is also expected to take a turn for the worse today, with reports that the bulk of the shipment sent to the Fulton Fish Market in Manhattan before the change in ceiling prices on Monday having already been sold. Connecticut fishermen continue to keep their boats tied up in protest of the new price structure, and fishermen in Massachusetts are reported to be drafting their own letter of complaint to the OPA.

(Kiel??? Didn't Terry and Burma take care of him??)

A wave of juvenile vandalism sweeping across Flatbush has left members of the Flatbush Gardening Association near exasperation over the deliberate destruction of lawns and gardens. A recent meeting of the Association's executive committee has produced calls for the formation of a "vigilance committee," and an agreement to post signs around the section offering cash rewards for the apprehension of the youths responsible for the destruction. The vandals have concentrated their efforts in the exclusive Wood-Harmon neighborhood bordered by E. 28th Street, Flatbush Avenue, Avenue P, and Fillmore Avenue, where there are about 600 homes characterized, according to the Association, by "individuality of design and the atmosphere of culture." Over the past six months, residents report, vandals have trampled flowers, broken hedges, and upset the two huge concrete urns adorning the gate posts at Quentin Road and Flatbush Avenue. One was found dislodged from its high brick base and broken several weeks ago, the other about a week ago. "And the worst of it is," mourned association treasurer Edward G. Reilly, "they cannot be replaced until after the war."

Mayor LaGuardia yesterday vetoed a City Council measure that would have provided for the regulation and licensing of open-front sidewalk photographers, declaring that the proposed ordinance would legalize, rather than abolish the evils and nuisances practiced by the operators of such establishments. The Mayor this spring began a crusade against fly-by-night snapshot artists who prey on servicemen, charging them exorbitant sums for poor quality photos.

More than 2000 men and women representing a variety of public opinion will meet next week at the Hotel Commodore in Manhattan to consider what can be done to save the Jewish people of Europe. Leaders in religion, politics, business, labor, and science will confer for five days, with former President Herbert Hoover expected to address the meeting by wire on July 25th. The meeting has as its goal the bending of "every effort to evolve workable proposals to save these innocent victims of Nazi terror."

(Joel McCrea is a wonderful comic actor who could have been the dinner-pail version of Cary Grant if he didn't prefer horses to laughs.)

("After the war we'll make them pay! Oh yes, we'll make them pay!")

A Forest Hills youth has been turned over to psychiatrists at Queens General Hospital who will try to determine just why it is that he can't stay off the subway at night. Eighteen-year-old Richard Stein was brought before Magistrate Francis Hockert on disorderly conduct charges after a motorman caused his arrest at the IRT 169th Street in Jamaica, complaining that he wouldn't get off the train. The youth told the magistrate that he's been riding the subway at night for over a year, because he is fascinated by the trains and their operation and just cannot stay off them. After determining that Stein's unusual habit did not seem to affect his job, Magistrate Hockert dropped the charges on the promise that he seek psychiatric treatment to get at the root of his fixation.

("Hoiman!" erupts Sally. "GIVE IT T'DRESSEN, YA FATHEAD!" "Telegram?" suggests Alice, her pencil poised. "Nah," growls Sally. "We betteh go see'im poissonal. He knows us. He'll liss'n." "He didn' liss'n las' time," shrugs Alice. "'At's cause ya insulted his lemonade," snaps Sally. "I seen ya dump it out innat rubbeh plant." "I din' know it was a real plant," protests Sally. "I t'ought it was -- you know -- rubbeh!"")

HIlda Chester, in person, was present at Shibe Park last night to ring her bell for the National League at the All Star Game in Philadelphia. Hilda's appearance came courtesy of Dodger catcher Mickey Owen, who personally bought the Flock's number one rooter a ticket to the game.

("You don't understand, Miss Vance. I can help you. I'm a world famous plastic surgeon, and I can do wonders with a prognathous jaw.")

(Hey, go on the parachute jump next!)

("and his ASSISTANT Mike Terry..." growls Irwin. "JUST WAIT SISTER, HE'LL DUMP YOU TOO!")

("I'M POIGNANT, FOLKS. NOTICE THE HANGING TONGUE!")

(George would fit right into 2023.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

HENRY FONDA???? But he's so wholesome!

"Just how many shoes have you been buying, Mr. Litt?" -- Love, Prentiss Brown.

Well, it's dark, and it's Pat, so yeah, this'll work. But it won't age well.

You may think you're cool, but you'll never be PUNJAB IN SHORTS cool.

You're a sick man, Mr. Gould.

All in good time, boys.

Yeah, all right for you -- but what about The Kid In Upper Four???

His career doesn't really take off, though, until he changes his name to "Yul Brynner."

Y'know, if he grew a moustache...

And just like that, Kayo realized his family's darkest secret.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

Sorry Hilda, you made that trip all the way for nothing...