The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Ignorance has consequences.

"This is the Army" is a Christmas album? "Oh How I Hate To Get Up In The Morning!" Well, OK, I cede the point.

You're slipping, kids.

"Hey, wait, why I am I helping the old sap spend my inheritance!"

"Well, known in the last two weeks anyway..."

"Didn't one of you jokers bring a compass?"

I always think of Mr. Pipdyke as sounding like Eugene Pallette, which works well with the story we seem to be setting up here.

Actually, she died of massive internal injuries after being thrown off the back of a speeding truck on a rock road, but hey, maybe some blood might have helped a little...

"Hey, Reverend, do you have a guy enrolled here with a face like -- I dunno, how do I describe it? A face like an old corduroy jacket? No, that's not quite it...."

Presenting Margaret Hamilton, Nigel Bruce, and Joan Blondell...

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

HO HO **hack!** HO!

 

[Fading Fast]

...

The Brooklyn Bar Association is preparing today to summon Mayor LaGuardia and Commissioner of Investigations William B. Herlands for an explanation of the release to newspapers of a confidential report accusing Brooklyn attorney Milton Solomon of attempting to suppress a bill that would have removed the requirement that stirrup pumps be included in the firefighting equipment provided by public buildings, and that he had promised a stirrup pump manufacturer that he would kill that bill. Bar Association trustee Fred L. Gross stressed that the Association is not at this time concerning itself with the allegations against Solomon, but rather, is concerned that the Mayor and the Commissioner released the report to the press without giving Solomon an opportunity to respond to the accusation.
...

No idea if it's true or not (I'd guess true, though), but either way, the "early release" trick is evergreen in politics as we saw in dramatic fashion earlier this year, 2022.

...

...Chief Clerk Victor Avalino expressed the hope that the winning of future pennants by the Dodgers would not depend upon the future return of the clock, since "the Dodgers only win a pennant every twenty years."...

Drop dead.

...

Agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation are trying to determine how a 21-year-old woman from Queens ended up aboard an Army troop train bound for Philadelphia. Mrs. Virigina Rodell, who lives with her mother, Mrs. Alonzo Greer of 45-14 42nd Street in Sunnyside, and is married to an Army private with whom she has an 11-month-old son, was found by Army officers in the kitchen car of the train as it pulled into Philadelphia yesterday. Mrs. Rodell told the FBI and the Army that she had gone to the station in New York to see some friends off on the train and that somehow she got caught up in the crowd and was stranded aboard a car when the train pulled out. But Mrs. Greer told the FBI that she knew of no one that her daughter might have gone to see off, and was, in turn, told by the FBI that Mrs. Rodell had told agents that she was thinking of joining the WAACs. Mrs. Greer noted that her daughter had tended to be impulsive, as in the case of her marriage, and added that she had once quit a job because her friends wanted to go to the beach. The FBI, concluding that Mrs. Rodell told "a straight story" released her from custody, but as of this morning she had not returned home.
...

We're all thinking the same thing.

...

Readers Henry Ruschmeyer, Albert Hirsch, and "Disgusted' all write in to call for the elimination of buses from all Brooklyn routes and the immediate return of the trolleys as "the war effort demands it!"
...

There'd better start being fewer trolley accidents or this movement is going to lose momentum.

...Bing Crosby again named best male popular singer. Crosby also earned, for the sixth straight year, the award for best program emcee....

Sinatra's a-coming. Bing should be able to feel him breathing down his neck right about now.

...

(Well, at least Marlys knows the proper way to hand someone a gun.)
...

"I never said to hang it this loudly." - Chekhov

And in the Daily News...

Ignorance has consequences.
...

Today, 15 is way too old if you want to get to them before they start.

Queenie was none too please about being left in a parked car nor is she happy about the "mongrel" tag. Queenie was oddly a popular nickname for young girls back then.

"Screeno" still cracks me up.

...

I always think of Mr. Pipdyke as sounding like Eugene Pallette, which works well with the story we seem to be setting up here.
...

Isn't the wealthy industrialist supposed to oppose the marriage of his daughter to a "nobody" from not-social-registry and no-money background instead of encouraging it? A least Pallette always opposes it in the movies. Unless, of course, the daughter is very much not a looker, then any breathing male will usually do.

...

Actually, she died of massive internal injuries after being thrown off the back of a speeding truck on a rock road, but hey, maybe some blood might have helped a little...
...

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, especially a good war-time inspirational story.

...

Presenting Margaret Hamilton, Nigel Bruce, and Joan Blondell...

If the Board of Superintendents ever gets its act together, I'd bet the Slither Sisters would make excellent technical advisors to its new program for 15-19 years olds.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

The children with venereal contact aren't children. Quite right what goes around comes around, sorry my play.
After England fell last eve, took in the entire Chatterley. A Christmas gift from an American friend drank. With relish
no less the occasion. Its Morocco next for the Paris mob.Woke with a head not visited like Marley's ghost. Not since college sure. A pot twice the coffee. A tomato soup. May look Chatterley once more.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Terrence I cannot find. Quite the lad, hero yet.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("The screwiest of screwballs?" Oh, I dunno, I'm pretty sure California can do better than that.)

(Sally reads over the casualty page, lets out a long slow sigh, and hands Leonora a spoon full of beets, which promptly end up on the floor. As she bends down to retrieve it she asks Joe, "Any lettehs lately f'm Solly?" "No," sighs Joe. "Las' one wazzat one las' mont', I guess right afteh he got t'wheaheveh t'ey sen'nim." "I hope," sighs Sally, as the next spoonful of beets lands in her lap, "nut'n hapn's to 'im." "Me too," nods Joe. "Me too. He still owes me two bucks.")

With the city's beef supply for the next three weeks cut to less than half of that imported over the same period last year, it is expected that the meat shortage will grow increasingly worse until after the first of the new year, when it is predicted that there will be a change for the better. Department of Agriculture figures show that during the week ending December 5th, 4893 beef carcasses weighing an average of 700 pounds each were imported into the city from the West, as against 10,478 over the same period in 1941. The importation of fresh pork over that same period was 1,278,000 pounds compared to 2,185,409 pounds last year. Markets Commissioner Daniel P. Woolley pointed out that the beef situation is even more acute because a large proportion of the reduced quantity is already allocated for military purposes. The Commissioner predicts, however, that after the first of the year the importation of hogs will take a sharp increase, with the December and January runs expected to be the largest of the year.

City police today are preparing for a far-flung drive to suppress bookmaking, confident that they can obtain convictions without the need to present betting slips or other written notations of bets as supporting evidence. A ruling in Bronx Magistrates Court by Magistrate Ambrose Haddock holding that such slips are not necessary for the prosecution of bookmaking cases has convinced Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine that his men can now obtain convictions despite a Court of Appeals ruling in the Richardson case two years ago. In that case, Frank Richardson of Staten Island was arrested by a patrolman who had "observed him" for two hours at a street corner, showing racing sheets to other men, and taking bets for them. But the Court of Appeals freed Richardson on a 5-2 vote, ruling that the evidence, which did not include written slips, was insufficient for conviction. Magistrate Haddock's decision, however, in the case of accused bookmaker John Busco, 250 Calhoun Avenue in the Bronx, noted that bookmakers, aware of the decision in the Richardson case, are no longer using written slips, and are, as in the case of Busco, taking bets verbally and then immediately relaying them to betting centers by means of public telephones. Busco was seen, it was testified by Patrolman Walter Clarke, talking to eleven men on a street corner over a period of three days, was seen to show them racing sheets and to accept money from them, and to then step into a nearby telephone booth to make a call.

(Well, you can exchange $18.75 worth of war stamps for a $25 war bond, so that's a pretty good deal.)

(Why does Branch Rickey always come across like a used-car salesman? Especially when he's clearly trying to get rid of somebody.)

(Isn't it time Gypsy made another movie?)

A process for making gunpowder out of orange juice will soon make use of citrus scraps, according to the United States Citrus Products Laboratory in Winter Haven, Florida. The process takes orange rinds and bits of leftover orange pulp and turns them into 180 proof alcohol, which is then processed further to make explosives. At present, blackstrap molasses is used to produce the alcohol required in the manufacture of explosives, but citrus officials say the use of orange waste will reduce the cost of processing by as much as one third. The discovery was made during experiments to improve the use of fruit sugars in the manufacture of alcohol, thus freeing up more cane sugar for human consumption.

Musicians are facing new problems relating from wartime shortages. Woodwind players with the Philadelphia Orchestra, already seeing their touring schedule cut by wartime travel restrictions, now say that they are unable to obtain suitable reeds. The usual source of such reeds is cane grown in Southern France, which is now impossible to get due to the war, and the substitute reeds made from cane grown in Texas are considered to have "a poorer tonal quality." String players also face problems, with the gut used for the manufacture of violin strings now being used by the Armed Forces for medical purposes, and aluminum wire now off-limits due to its use in the manufacture of military equipment and aircraft. The capping indignity for the Philadelphia Orchestra, though, is found in its harp section, where clothing restrictions will soon eliminate the flowing gowns worn by the harpists in favor of tailored slacks.

(Maybe you should try one of those new strapless uniforms.)

(When was the last time we saw Scarlet fully dressed? I've lost track.)

(Careful, Irwin, he might catch on you're not a real detective.)

(STOP PADDING YOUR PART!)

(Ahhhhh, you'll soon find, Herr Groskopf, that the one remaining uncorruptible person in this whole town is the GARBAGEMAN!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

PUT OUT THAT LIGHT

"And after we get uniforms, we want fancy cars with a flashing light on top that says WARDEN!"

That cabbie won't be too excited to have the smell of a wet fur cape in his hack.

"Seems there'd be some explanation for a man like that who just ain't interested in women, but I'll be durned if I can think of what it might be."

Keep your hand on your gun, Colonel. The Spam can wait.

"Ha ha, but seriously, you did bring a compass, right? RIGHT?"

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.

Your wife will appreciate that.

No hussy-shaming now, Emmy. Remember when you were on the stage.

EXCELLENT! IT'S ALL FALLING INTO PLACE!

 

[Fading Fast]

...

City police today are preparing for a far-flung drive to suppress bookmaking, confident that they can obtain convictions without the need to present betting slips or other written notations of bets as supporting evidence. A ruling in Bronx Magistrates Court by Magistrate Ambrose Haddock holding that such slips are not necessary for the prosecution of bookmaking cases has convinced Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine that his men can now obtain convictions despite a Court of Appeals ruling in the Richardson case two years ago. In that case, Frank Richardson of Staten Island was arrested by a patrolman who had "observed him" for two hours at a street corner, showing racing sheets to other men, and taking bets for them. But the Court of Appeals freed Richardson on a 5-2 vote, ruling that the evidence, which did not include written slips, was insufficient for conviction. Magistrate Haddock's decision, however, in the case of accused bookmaker John Busco, 250 Calhoun Avenue in the Bronx, noted that bookmakers, aware of the decision in the Richardson case, are no longer using written slips, and are, as in the case of Busco, taking bets verbally and then immediately relaying them to betting centers by means of public telephones. Busco was seen, it was testified by Patrolman Walter Clarke, talking to eleven men on a street corner over a period of three days, was seen to show them racing sheets and to accept money from them, and to then step into a nearby telephone booth to make a call.
...

Fascinating tactical assessment of the situation. I've mentioned this before, but when I worked on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, the head clerk for the booth I worked in (we managed the orders from the firm's traders) was also a bookmaker who took hundreds of bets a day and kept them on separate slips of paper (he kept a pad in one pocket devoted to just the bookie business). It would have been impossible to keep track if he didn't write them down. So, relaying every bet by phone, as discussed in the paper, is doable, but incredibly cumbersome. Running an illegal business has its added challenges.

...

(Isn't it time Gypsy made another movie?)
...

And Film Noir was just getting started.

...The capping indignity for the Philadelphia Orchestra, though, is found in its harp section, where clothing restrictions will soon eliminate the flowing gowns worn by the harpists in favor of tailored slacks.
...

Probably looks better and will be more comfortable.

...

(Maybe you should try one of those new strapless uniforms.)
...

Or pick up one of those nurses uniforms that I see so many "nurses" wearing on Halloween; that'll do the trick.

...

(When was the last time we saw Scarlet fully dressed? I've lost track.)
...

I'm beginning to think of this as her being fully dressed.

Also, it's December, but we're still accepting entries for "The Tiniest Comic-Strip Wasp Waist of the Year" contest and Scarlett's got a good shot if she enters her picture from the first panel. Cindy from "Smilin' Jack" is her strongest competition.

And in the Daily News...

PUT OUT THAT LIGHT
...

The Bowen's were free to stop watching anytime they wanted.

Another thing, I've never cheated, but I still always pull the shade down before commencing activities, like any normal person does. You'd think, if you were cheating, you'd be further incented to do so.

...

"And after we get uniforms, we want fancy cars with a flashing light on top that says WARDEN!"
...

I've tried a few more times and still haven't been able to find a picture of the Mayor's special car, but you know there is one out there somewhere.

...

EXCELLENT! IT'S ALL FALLING INTO PLACE!

If you're a wealthy industrialist and your daughter looks like Cynthia, you're not wasting your time on Harold Teen, you're thinking of your daughter's marriage as an opportunity to merge two wealthy families, hopefully, with complimentary businesses. Don't these people ever go to the movies as that was part of the plot of every third screwball comedy in the '30s and early '40s?

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Can't quite place the film strip cigarette girl. A looker to be sure. Love the page and surprised by all the tawdry sheets hung.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

...just thought the colonel with the Jap prisoner is Terrence's lifeline and all. Not long for this world thereabouts
certain it is then. The pencil's erasure soon enough.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Now just a minute there, Magistrate -- who said anything about teachers carrying pistols in the classroom? Is there something you know about you're not telling us??)

American and Australian jungle fighters, battling step by step over narrow causeways, and thru fetid swamps to drive the Japanese from the north shore of New Guinea, threw the main weight of their offensive against the enemy's strongly entrenched positions in the Buna coastal area today. Occupation of Gona, 20 miles up from Buna, cut into the Japanese right flank, but the Allies face a tough job of crossing rivers and swamps interlaced with barbed wire barricades and machine gun nests. Enemy snipers are firing from cocoanut trees and their machine gunners from hidden pillboxes. In their stand at Gona, the Japanese hung on by wearing respirators among heaping mounds of their own dead, and many dug under the roots of giant trees.

Red Army forces aided by clearing weather have launched a new offensive west of Rhzev, frontline dispatches reported tonight, and have smashed forward over a river barrier to pierce a German frontier line, further unhinging Nazi defense positions on the central front. The German High Command confirmed the Soviet thrust, stating that the Russians have launched "a new large-scale offensive" built around "unusually strong infantry and tank forces," but claim that the "attack collapsed after 170 Russian tanks were destroyed." Meanwhile, reports from Stalingrad report that the huge Russian pincers are slowly but inexorably squeezing the large German force trapped between the Don and the Volga, and a German breakthru is considered to be increasingly unlikely.

The War Manpower Commission estimated last night that 63,000,000 men and women will be directly involved in the war, either on the front, in support positions, or in war manufacturing, before the end of 1943. That will mean an increase of more than 4,000,000 persons above the present numbers. The total number of men serving in the Armed Forces, either as officer or enlisted men, is expected to reach 9,700,000 by the end of next year, 4,000,000 more than the present number of men under arms. Officials say these figures do not mean that the United States must find 4,000,000 more persons to fill essential jobs -- instead, the necessary reshuffling of manpower will mean almost 8,000,000 additional persons will need to be placed in civilian war jobs over the year ahead. The drafting of 18 and 19 year old youths is expected to add approximately 840,000 to the Armed Forces during 1943, and there is no indication that the conscription of that age group will offset the possibility that married men with children will be drafted.

Rubber pants for babies will disappear in 1943, along with rubber nursing nipples, and other rubber accoutrements of infancy, but there will plenty of alternatives available. A statement today by the Office of War Information emphasized that baby pants made from plastic or other waterproof fabrics will be available to fill the needs of America's bumper crops of war babies. The OWI report stated that 1,350,000 babies were born in the United States over the first eight months of 1942, an increase of 75,000 over the same period in 1941. It was also noted that continuing metal shortages will affect baby needs, especially in the production of baby foods and formula in cans, with most such products forced to switch to glass jars or other containers. It is anticipated, however, that there will be an adequate milk supply for babies during 1943.

Legal bars preventing men over the age of 70 from serving on juries in Kings County may be lowered in response to the present shortage of potential jurors. George H. Trumper, chairman of the legislation committee of the Kings County Grand Jury Association, has asked the Judicial Association to drop its opposition to the elimination of the age limit for service on both grand and trial juries, arguing that there is no better public service for septuagenarians than grand jury service, and noting that, with each grand juror selected on his own individual merit, there is "little likelihood that age hazards will be overlooked."

Thousands of persons, many with tears streaming down their cheeks, attended funeral services yesterday for Detective Joseph A. Micchio, who was shot Monday while questioning two men now under arrests. The procession from Det. Micchio's Sheepshead Bay home to St, Mark's R. C. Church was accompanied by Mayor LaGuardia and Police Commissioner Valentine, along with hundreds of Micchio's fellow detectives and patrolmen. The Police Department Band furnished music during the procession, and the Police Glee Club sang at the church services.

("Hey," queries Joe, as Sally, hunched in a kitchen chair, pulls off a shoe and massages her aching foot. "What size ya weah?" "I don' remembeh," sighs Sally. "I had t'ese shoes so long, alla numbehs inside is rubbed off. "I read inna magazine t'at feet swell up as y'get oldeh," comments Joe. "I ain' even t'oity yet," snaps Sally. "Feet don' swell up till ya toity-five, an'nen sometimes not e'vn'nen. My ma has wore t'same size shoes since 1905." "Ya ma has wore t'same SHOES since 1905." "What?" "Nut'n.")

Reader Joseph Cox writes in to suggest that every time we say or publish the name of Hitler, we are advertising his deeds and contributing to his propaganda. He recommends that, instead, all Americans make a habit of referring to him as "Corporal Schicklgruber," and in that way help to break down his prestige and build up our own morale.

(Well now. With Mungo gone, Mr. Melton, whatever his other advantages may be, at least offers the possibility of interesting stories from spring training. Hey kid, can you rhumba?)

Tommy Holmes points out that the release of National League fielding statistics for 1942 contain an interesting and odd revelation about Newell Kimball, blond-haired fashion plate of the Flock. Newt pitched in 14 games during the season past, and did not have a single fielding chance. This may be explained by the fact that when Kimball was pitching, the rest of the Dodger defense was busy fielding hard-hit balls.

(I wonder who's the Assistant Corn-Hog Section Chief?)

Radio actor Matt Crowley, whose powerful tonsils flexed on behalf of various daytime weepers over the past decade is making a triumphant return to the legitimate stage in Maxwell Anderson's war play "The Eve of St. Mark" at the Cort Theatre. Mr. Crowley, heard on the air in every conceivable role over the past three and a half years in "Pretty Kitty Kelly," appears opposite Aline MacMahon as a husky-voiced farmer -- and it was his tonsils themselves that were responsible for both that voice and his new role. It seems that Mr. Crowley required a tonsillectomy recently, resulting in several weeks layoff from the microphone while his throat healed. But something in the scraping quality of his post-surgical voice appealed to Director Lem Ward, who immediately cast him in the stage role. Matt's voice is now back to normal, but he can still simulate the necessary rasp for his part in the play.

Duke Ellington and his orchestra will make their Carnegie Hall debut on Saturday January 23rd, in a concert presenting a cross-section of outstanding Ellington music, plus a number of new works, including selections from the composer's yet-unproduced opera, "Boola (Hero.)"

Old-Timer William J. Dooley writes in to reminisce about the typical mores of forty years ago, in the days when the well-dressed woman turned out in black or tan-colored stockings. "The idea of flesh-colored stockings," Mr. Dooley notes, "would have appalled her." One thing that hasn't changed, though, since 1902 -- Connie Mack is still managing the Athletics.

("Sock Bustum" would be a great name for a pro wrestler. Hey, somebody give us that story.)

(Well now, we haven't seen Fat Hermann on here for a while. Sorry tubby, it'll never hold ya!)

("OH well, then, if he's going to reform on his own, there's no need for ME to hang around here...")

(It certainly appears that Fritzi and Phil are co-habitating without benefit of clergy. Watch out, kids, don't let Butch find out!)

(Just a little shove, that's all it takes! And better get a chair in the cellar ready for Irwin...)

("Aviation facts?" huffs Zack Mosely. "That's MY racket!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"So," says Tommy. "New Year's Eve at Leon & Eddies?"

Unlike cats, who are obligate carnivores, you can, in fact, feed a dog a vegetarian diet. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S GONNA LIKE IT!

"See," says Chief Brandon, "WHEN SOME PEOPLE (fuff) PROMISE ME A PRESENT, THEY COME THRU!"

"HMPH!" hmphs Sally's ma. "AMATCHOORS!"

"Did I ever tell you about that time I fought dinosaurs? Or the time an ancient tribe worshipped me as a god? Why are you backing away from me?"

The really expert troll gets someone else to do their legwork.

Funny, isn't it, how Cindy's uniform is getting smaller with every passing week.

"Um, it's not that, I've had -uh- lots of military training from -- uhh -- Captain -- uh -- Blaze, and -- uh -- Captain Judas -- and -- uh -- Major Kiel -- and -- I trained with -- um -- Burma..."

It's how you play the game.

Annie knows the game too.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Terrence. Annie, if what I am thinking, it's a bit much but all the sheets hung out,,,Help Miss Elizabeth utter at loss and lost in the woods here.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Dr. Zee is a man wounded psychically and physically by his war service -- first in the Spanish Civil War and then in the current conflict. He was recently discharged from the Army minus his right arm. Katie is his maid and formerly his childhood sweetheart, whom he rescued from a psychological disturbance that rendered her "Crazy Katie" in the eyes of the town. Katie still carries the torch, but is also still carrying a considerable load of self-loathing over her "Crazy Katie" past -- which renders her unable to express her true feelings to the Doc. The recent arrival of Dr. Clover, a highly competent woman who also finds Zee attractive, is rapidly pushing Katie to some course of action. Loretta, Annie's right-hand-kid in the Junior Commandos, is Katie's daughter.

The Commandos are a paramilitary formation of kids who not only act as scrap-collectors for various salvage drives, but who also act as neighborhood enforcers when there are violations of wartime regulations. One of her most valued agents is a small refugee boy from an unspecified Eastern European country whose family was slaughtered by the Nazis, and who, himself, has learned exactly how to deal bloody vengeance. Given that Annie herself singlehandedly was responsbile for the destruction of a U-Boat that was prowling the cove early this year, and that she has no compunctions whatsoever about causing the disappearance of those who step out of line, her force is widely respected -- and a bit feared -- in the community.

Annie has done all this on her own, without the aid of Daddy Warbucks, who, while serving in the armed forces of "an Allied nation" is missing and presumed dead, along with Punjab and the Asp, somewhere in the Pacific jungle.

 

[Fading Fast]

...

View attachment 472360
("Hey," queries Joe, as Sally, hunched in a kitchen chair, pulls off a shoe and massages her aching foot. "What size ya weah?" "I don' remembeh," sighs Sally. "I had t'ese shoes so long, alla numbehs inside is rubbed off. "I read inna magazine t'at feet swell up as y'get oldeh," comments Joe. "I ain' even t'oity yet," snaps Sally. "Feet don' swell up till ya toity-five, an'nen sometimes not e'vn'nen. My ma has wore t'same size shoes since 1905." "Ya ma has wore t'same SHOES since 1905." "What?" "Nut'n.")
...

I know having one's foot change size happens to many people as they age, but I wear the same size shoe today at 58 that I wore when I was in college. I'm far from a shoe addict, but it would be an unfun expense to have my foot change size now and have to replace all my shoes.

...

Reader Joseph Cox writes in to suggest that every time we say or publish the name of Hitler, we are advertising his deeds and contributing to his propaganda. He recommends that, instead, all Americans make a habit of referring to him as "Corporal Schicklgruber," and in that way help to break down his prestige and build up our own morale.
...

Mr. Cox should have a bright post-war future in advertising.

...

Tommy Holmes points out that the release of National League fielding statistics for 1942 contain an interesting and odd revelation about Newell Kimball, blond-haired fashion plate of the Flock. Newt pitched in 14 games during the season past, and did not have a single fielding chance. This may be explained by the fact that when Kimball was pitching, the rest of the Dodger defense was busy fielding hard-hit balls.
...

Sarcasm aside, plus they don't list the number that really matters, which is the number of innings pitched, but still, the odds on that happening have to be very, very small.

...

(Just a little shove, that's all it takes! And better get a chair in the cellar ready for Irwin...)
...

Well, no matter what happened to Miss Varden, at least she's already in a hospital. Kidding aside, this entire storyline has been dragged out and forced.

And in the Daily News...

"So," says Tommy. "New Year's Eve at Leon & Eddies?"
...

The police might be sold on Trott's innocence, but I'm not.

Manville is becoming a cartoon of his already pretty unserious self.

...

"See," says Chief Brandon, "WHEN SOME PEOPLE (fuff) PROMISE ME A PRESENT, THEY COME THRU!"
...

The Chief is never going to let that go.

...

Funny, isn't it, how Cindy's uniform is getting smaller with every passing week.
...

Cindy senses nearly naked Invisible Scarlett breathing down her neck. Also, she's entering her pic from today in "The Tiniest Comic-Strip Wasp Waist of the Year" contest. You can enter as many pics as you like, only the last one counts. That contest is going down to the wire.

 

[Fading Fast]

...Given that Annie herself singlehandedly was responsbile for the destruction of a U-Boat ...

"Ahem!!!"

"Unless we count soiling yourself and running away in abject fear, you were not helpful in sinking that sub."
"I hate you."

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Well, anything to beat the Hun. A bit The Sun Also Rises and de Sade The Love Crimes.
This Annie is a very complex character who can give de Sade a run for money.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Good afternoon. With Terrence spilling it all over that other man yesterday our colonel's rope is noosed
at the ready what. Thrown across barn beam by this comic pencil.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Sigh, kids today. I miss the days when Mr. Schroth's biggest crusade was for first-run movies.)

The Allies "have a secret weapon or two up their sleeves" that will soon be brought to bear in a new wave of aerial attacks against Axis targets, declares Army Air Forces commanding officer Lt. General Henry H. Arnold. An assault expected to be conducted on a larger scale even than the German blitz against London in 1940, and when it comes, states Gen. Arnold, it will be led by "new American planes that will make the 1942 models look like training ships, with firepower that will make present guns look like peashooters, and with bomb loads that will multiply by many times the destructive power of today." Arnold's statement yesterday to reporters at Randolph Field near Washington is interpreted as preliminary to the start of the giant air offensive. "We are coming and we will make it soon," proclaimed Arnold. "And when we do come it will be in large numbers. We won't stop with one visit, but we will return again and again and again."

United States planes in the Solomon Islands are continuing efforts to knock out a Japanese air base only 150 miles from Guadalcanal, the Navy disclosed today. On Sunday, American planes smashed at at enemy runways at Munda, on New Georgia Island. Ground activity on Guadalcanal itself was limited today to routine patrols.

In St. Johns, Newfoundland a hundred charred and trampled bodies gave mute testimony to the destructive power of a fire that swept thru a Knights of Columbus hostel for servicemen on Saturday night. The unofficial death toll of soldiers and sailors killed in the blaze stands at 100, but authorities estimate that the remains of possibly ten additional men may have been completely incinerated and mingled with the ashes of the wooden building itself. Six hundred persons were in the building when the fire broke out, of whom a "sizable proportion" were said to be women, but so far the bodies of only ten women have been identified in the ruins. The building was burned to its foundation by the fire, which broke out during a barn dance party that was being broadcast over a local radio station. The radio announcer was swept from the stage by the surging flames, but his microphone remained open and operating for several minutes, carrying screams of horror and pain to an unseen audience. The fire, occurring just two weeks after the deadly blaze at the Cocoanut Grove nightclub in Boston, was of unknown origin. As of today, 102 persons are hospitalized in the wake of the fire. At least 20 of the dead servicemen were reported to have been Americans.

Mayor LaGuardia has urged parents of infants to obtain medical prescriptions from their doctors in order to be assured of an uninterrupted supply of evaporated milk for their children. In his weekly radio broadcast over station WNYC, the Mayor noted that complaints have been received by his office from various parts of the city indicating difficulty in obtaining the necessary milk for making infant formula, and stated that he has directed the Health Department to make arrangements with the larger grocery chains in the city and with the United Independent Retail Grocers Association to require that stores prioritize sales of canned milk for babies when presented with a doctors' prescription. The Mayor urged all parents requiring such milk to obtain such prescriptions at once, either from their own physicians or thru the city's own baby health stations and clinics.

The Mayor, in his weekly talk, also condemned speculators who are buying meat direct from slaughterhouses and then selling it directly to butchers at an inflated price. "This is indeed a violation of the ceiling price laws," delclared the Mayor, "and should be stopped." The Mayor further noted that he has advised Price Administrator Leon Henderson of that racket.

The president of the Taxpayers Union of the City of New York lashed out today at the Mayor over comments he made during his broadcast on the question of juvenile delinquency. The Mayor assured parents during his talk that "there is no cause for alarm," but Taxpayers Union head Joseph Goldsmith denounced the Mayor for "buck passing, sidestepping, and name-calling" on the issue, and demanded that the city open an immediate investigation into "the deplorable conditions now prevailing in our schools."

("Hey kid," says Margie Hart. "Go talk to my agent. But you'll have to dye your hair, we got enough redheads in this racket.")

The Chief Justice of the City Court today denounced remarks by the governor of Alabama opposing Federal laws prohibiting racial discrimination in defense industries. Speaking to a meeting of the Irish-American Committee for Racial Justice at the Columbus Club, Justice Joseph T. Ryan called recent statements by Gov. Frank M. Dixon "inconsistent with true Americanism," and urged Catholics, in particular to be "outspoken in their criticism of race prejudice. Governor Dixon last week stated that "so-called crackpots in the present Administration" are "fostering employment of Negroes in the defense industries," and warned that "some people in the Democratic party are going to be sorry" as a result of that stand.

("Sorry, pal," says Sanford J. Claus to the advertising director for Old Golds. "I told you straight out I don't sign exclusive contracts with ANYBODY. Now I'm sorry, but I gotta go. The rep from Philip Morris is here.")

The Eagle Editorialist reprimands Mayor LaGuardia for his remarks last week criticizing the Teachers Guild for seeking police protection in the city's schools. Accusing the Mayor of "a completely reactionary attitude," the EE points out that no one is calling for police to take over the teachers' role in enforcing discipline in the classrooms -- but the Guild is merely asking that if rowdyism does break out, that the teachers are protected from attack. "Certainly we have come to a fine pass if teachers are to be discriminated against and singled out as the one group in our population not entitled to police protection. What is the Mayor thinking about?"

("Oh yeah? Well take a good look at this roast, Tubby -- it's the last one you're gonna see for the duration!")

Reader Louis M. Goren takes note of recent news items indicating that Nazi Gestapo chief Heinrich Himmler, acting on the orders of Adolf Hitler, is conducting a massacre of the Jews in which millions have already been put to death. "Such ghoulish extermination of the innocent has no parallel in modern history," he declares. "Let us work, fight, and pray to hasten the day of final victory and rescue Europe and its people from the clutches of this evil."

The inventor of the "king size" cigarette has died of a heart attack at the age of 68. William B. Wolfe of 48 Davison Place was the president of the Leighton Tobacco Company, is said to have been the first manufacturer to introduce the extra-long cigarettes to the marketplace..

(If W. Branch Rickey is baseball's Earl of Gloucester, Leland Stanford MacPhail must be his Edmund.)

(So I guess "Mary Worth" has officially shifted the Sunday page from comedy relief hijinks with Bill and the kids to a continuation of the weekday plot, and I guess that means we can get used to Monday being the same thing from a different angle. In fact, maybe the whole week ahead will be just Angel falling down stairs again and again and again.)

("Wait'll I turn the heat off!")

(Odds that Irwin ends up with his head caught in the press rollers and ink all over his face now running 1-1)

(NO VEGETARIAN DIET FOR ME!)

("OOPS!" says Irwin Higgs, poking his head in the door. "WRONG PRINT SHOP. SORRY FOLKS, CARRY ON!")

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I read the ecdysiast article with keen interest.