The Era -- Day By Day

[Fading Fast]

....In Philadelphia, a five-alarm fire of undetermined origin swept a huge lumber yard, destroying thousands of square feet of lumber earmarked for defense construction, and damaging surrounding homes and small machine shops. A red glow rose high in the sky over night as the flames raged across the Joseph H. Sykes Company yard, as 10,000 spectators burst thru police lines at the scene of the fire and hampered efforts of firemen to battle the blaze, which took five hours to contain. The fire, causing damage believed in excess of $1,000,000, is the second major lumber-yard fire in Philadelphia in three months, following on the $1,000,000 blaze at the Lear Lumber Company in May....)

I have no statistics, but based on what we've read recently in these papers, it seems like a suspicious number of fires hampering the military buildup are happening in Brooklyn and Philadelphia.

...
("Ain'choo hoid, bud? Brooklyn *IS* t' nation!")...

In the '70s and '80s, the same arguments for and against the Dallas Cowboys being called "America's Team" played out. Very few things are new.

... View attachment 356307 ("Yeah," says Joe, "it's awrful. Solly's out f'm woik -- he seen a guy sellin' tickets inna subway yes'day, ova' t' Prospeck Pa'k station, an' inna crowd he got pusht downa staiahs -- lan'ned on some dame, picked 'im up an' tossed him up agains' a canny machine, smashed open'na glass, an' people come runnin' all ova t' pick up t'nickels. Aw, it was awrful. Din' get no tickets, neit'a. Busted his wris' fallin' downa staiahs, an' t'is dame t'at t'rowed 'im aroun, I t'ink he gotta bruise onna head or' sum'pin. Gotta buncha Hoishey Bahs outa t'deal t'ough. Heah, y' wan' one?" "Hmph," hmphs Sally. "Woul'na happn'd if Petey was t'ere. I ever tell you bout't time he bumped inna me onna steps at Prospeck Pa'k an' he stopped an' said t'me, he sai'd "Sorry lady," he said. Jus' like a gen'leman. Y'got any wit' almon's?")...

Sally can pretty much connect anything to "Petey." She has a bigger crush on him than my grandmother's disconcerting crush on Joe Namath in the '70s.

...
(And of course, if you're Artie Shaw, there's all that alimony to keep up...)...

"Sign at the Far Rockaway Shore Club: 'Notice to Gals! Will Hays Has No Jurisdiction Here. Wear as Many Sweaters as You Please!'"

Huh? Is there a Lana Turner reference in here somewhere?

.. (And now it's Jo's turn for a "crisis of conscience...")...

To be fair to Jo, I don't remember her ever accusing Oakdale of stealing the jewelry; she just said she saw him in the building that day, which is true. Or have I confused this story?

... Seriously, "wife dunking?" Shouldn't the charge be "attempted murder?"..

Yes, I believe that is the technical term for it, but "dunking" sounds so much nicer.

"The Neighbors" just recycled a joke that's at least ten-years old.

...
The pitcher whom Mr. Powers is too much of a gentleman to name is a fellow named Joe Sullivan, who has been poking around the major leagues to little effect for the past six seasons, and who will pitch only three more games in the majors. But he'll kick around the minor leagues until 1949, and will never, as far as is known, be rolled out onto the field in the middle of a tarp....

Interesting comments on gambling.

..
"Oh, nothing fancy." *BONK!*...

Hey, it worked on Dan.

Also, Andy might want to think about this:

"You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go 'according to plan'...even if the plan is horrifying."

...
I wonder what'll be on Page Four tomorrow in the Covina Courier?

Prunella better be on guard or she'll be the next "dunking" victim.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Jo's position on the whole situation is rather delicate. She hasn't come right out and said Oakdale is guilty, or that she knows he's guilty, but she's all too ready to provide the circumstantial evidence to support the idea that he's guilty. But now she knows, for a fact, that he isn't. If Sibyl wasn't right there with her, would she throw that bag into the nearest garbage can and walk away fast? Ethics professors, feel free to help yourself to this problem for class study.

I believe that is indeed a Lana Turner reference. Maybe that's where Gramps and Veronica went.

 

[Harp]

The E 67th Street police station where they took Auchincloss still serves that neighborhood (which includes my pedestrian neighborhood near fancy Park Avenue) from this incredible historic (and landmarked) station building:
View attachment 355780
You can read about it here: http://s-media.nyc.gov/agencies/lpc/lp/2018.pdf


Agreed. It's mendacious and murderous, but you have to respect how he's double dipping on the trade. It's like the rare occurrence when both sides of a spread trade are profitable.

I think that cop station is near Cafe Fresco? or Fesca?...sompin' like that. Potato soup best this side
of 103rd Street on Chicago's south side, and the bagel cheese spread ain't bad neither.

_____

I think Judas could call off the air strike and keep the heist a simple long and short spread.

 

[Fading Fast]

Jo's position on the whole situation is rather delicate. She hasn't come right out and said Oakdale is guilty, or that she knows he's guilty, but she's all too ready to provide the circumstantial evidence to support the idea that he's guilty. But now she knows, for a fact, that he isn't. If Sibyl wasn't right there with her, would she throw that bag into the nearest garbage can and walk away fast? Ethics professors, feel free to help yourself to this problem for class study.

I believe that is indeed a Lana Turner reference. Maybe that's where Gramps and Veronica went.

I agree with your thoughts on what's in Jo's heart, but what everyone has been asking her, or nudging her, to do has been to "forget" that she saw Oakdale, which is ethically wrong. While yes, she'd love to see him fry, she's been firm that all her testimony is going to say is the truth: she say him in the apartment building that day.

Now, as you ask, if Sibyl wasn't there, would Jo toss the bag - hmmm.

 

[Harp]

Jo's position on the whole situation is rather delicate. She hasn't come right out and said Oakdale is guilty, or that she knows he's guilty, but she's all too ready to provide the circumstantial evidence to support the idea that he's guilty. But now she knows, for a fact, that he isn't. If Sibyl wasn't right there with her, would she throw that bag into the nearest garbage can and walk away fast? Ethics professors, feel free to help yourself to this problem for class study.

I would love to tear in all this read meat but as I only follow Terry and The Pirates with Burma the babe,
I am not conversant with the facts of the case; besides, Mr Kane in Mary Worth thought I a district attorney,
not a newspaper editor.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Well, I mean, is there a difference? After all, O'Dwyer gets his name in the Eagle far more often than Mr. Schroth does.

The Bungle situation, in short, is this. Mrs. Josephine Bungle hates and despises J. Hartford Oakdale with the flame of a thousand suns, because eighteen years ago, he dumped her daughter at the altar. Oakdale -- a sleazy con man who poses as a distinguished military expert and veteran of many battles that sound suspiciously like movie plots -- is accused of stealing a selection of jewelry from Mrs. Sybil Dardanella -- another person whom Josephine hates because of various convoluted things that happened in the 1920s. Mrs. Bungle observed Oakdale in the hallway of the apartment building on the day of the robbery, and is eager to testify at Oakdale's trial to provide this incriminating fact. Now, however, it turns out that the robbery was committed by a random thug, and that Mr. Oakdale, whom Mrs. Bungle has long yearned to see chained to a rockpile. is entirely innocent. She is on her way now to testify in the trial. What must she do?

 

[Fading Fast]

Well, I mean, is there a difference? After all, O'Dwyer gets his name in the Eagle far more often than Mr. Schroth does.

The Bungle situation, in short, is this. Mrs. Josephine Bungle hates and despises J. Hartford Oakdale with the flame of a thousand suns, because eighteen years ago, he dumped her daughter at the altar. Oakdale -- a sleazy con man who poses as a distinguished military expert and veteran of many battles that sound suspiciously like movie plots -- is accused of stealing a selection of jewelry from Mrs. Sybil Dardanella -- another person whom Josephine hates because of various convoluted things that happened in the 1920s. Mrs. Bungle observed Oakdale in the hallway of the apartment building on the day of the robbery, and is eager to testify at Oakdale's trial to provide this incriminating fact. Now, however, it turns out that the robbery was committed by a random thug, and that Mr. Oakdale, whom Mrs. Bungle has long yearned to see chained to a rockpile. is entirely innocent. She is on her way now to testify in the trial. What must she do?

"...a sleazy con man who poses as a distinguished military expert and veteran of many battles that sound suspiciously like movie plots." [Bold mine]

 

[Harp]

Well, I mean, is there a difference? After all, O'Dwyer gets his name in the Eagle far more often than Mr. Schroth does.

The Bungle situation, in short, is this. Mrs. Josephine Bungle hates and despises J. Hartford Oakdale with the flame of a thousand suns, because eighteen years ago, he dumped her daughter at the altar. Oakdale -- a sleazy con man who poses as a distinguished military expert and veteran of many battles that sound suspiciously like movie plots -- is accused of stealing a selection of jewelry from Mrs. Sybil Dardanella -- another person whom Josephine hates because of various convoluted things that happened in the 1920s. Mrs. Bungle observed Oakdale in the hallway of the apartment building on the day of the robbery, and is eager to testify at Oakdale's trial to provide this incriminating fact. Now, however, it turns out that the robbery was committed by a random thug, and that Mr. Oakdale, whom Mrs. Bungle has long yearned to see chained to a rockpile. is entirely innocent. She is on her way now to testify in the trial. What must she do?

A witness, any witness is sworn under oath to tell the truth, and, the gist of her testimony amounts to
cirumstance-happentance, far from sufficient grounds to gain the conviction her antipathy and petty
vindictiveness yearn. I would advise her to tell the truth. The defendant's presence at locus does not
indicate guilt though obviously is a possible evidentiary fact which requires some account.
Mrs Bungle does not possess an incriminating fact but only mere supposition as to its relevance.

 

[Harp]

^Greta Garbo was a very exquisite woman. In his autobio, The Moon's A Balloon David Niven
recounts Robert Taylor remarking to him that Ms Garbo was far from the femme fatale fashion clothes
horse one might have expected her to be. Off set she opted a strictly casual style.

But whatever she wore, Garbo was always Garbo.

 

[ChiTownScion]

And in the Daily News...

View attachment 356330
I wonder what'll be on Page Four tomorrow in the Covina Courier?

Is it possible that Gramps is playing her?

 

[LizzieMaine]

Gramps is supposed to be a wily old rascal who made his way in business by dint of his sharp and clever mind, so that's certainly a possibility. On the other hand, he *is* related to Harold.

 

[LizzieMaine]

President Roosevelt last night ordered immediate seizure by the Government of the Federal Shipbuilding and Drydock Company yards in Kearny, New Jersey, following the collapse of negotiations between the company and striking machinists. The yards have been idle for sixteen days, stalling work on $493,000,000 worth of vital defense contracts, but will resume operations tomorrow under the the direct control of the Navy. The executive order signed last night by the President instructed naval authorities to take over the manufacturing plant and complete construction on two cruisers, one of which is nearly ready for launching. Striking workers have pledged cooperation with the Government to see that the work is done. The Kearny yards also hold contracts for the construction of six destroyers, three tankers, and two freighters. Company officials had refused to accept a mediated settlement of the strike by the National Defense Mediation Board, and company representative Knox Korndorff offered to sell the company to the Navy rather than go along with that settlement. Acting Presidential secretary William Haslett stated last night that the Government will consider buying the plant, leasing it, or simply hiring a manager to run it.

Hundreds of thousands of untrained civilian fighters have joined with the Red Army in the defense of Leningrad, in response to the call from Marshal Klementi Vorshilov for citizens to defend the city from Nazi invaders "to the last drop of blood." As the ninth-week of the Russo-German war drew to a close, a Berlin communique declared that both Leningrad and Odessa are surrounded by a fast-closing "ring of steel." Informed observers believe that Leningrad residents will defend the city "from the rooftops and in the streets" to keep it from falling to the Germans.

Plans to institute formal gasoline rationing along the Eastern Seaboard before the Labor Day weekend have been shelved, and Federal oil administrators indicated that "wide open" gasoline sales will continue until after the holiday -- although individual dealers will be strongly urged to impose their own voluntary rationing programs to reduce consumption. The reduction in wholesale gasoline allocations will go forward as previously announced, but it will be left up to the operator of each individual filling station how his quota will be distributed. Some dealers are expected to restrict sales to regular customers only, with the likelihood that if consumption is not reduced gasoline deliveries to all dealers will be further restricted.

("Hey!" says Sally. "Tools? Whatcha doin' wittem tools?" "Um," ums Joe, "i'm -- ah -- screwin' t' radio t' t'table. In case -- ah -- of oit'quakes. Ya neva know when a oit'quake's gonna knock sump'n ova, an' -- ah -- t'row it outta winda...")

(Y'know, Mr. Samuel Steinhardt of 3821 Nautilus Avenue is a pretty darn good dad.)

(I don't know that being ambassador to Japan in August 1941 is a job with all that much potential. Hope you've got some resumes out.)

(Hey MacPhail, how about you take Mr. Nugent out to lunch some time, in appreciation for all the Phillies have done for you. And not the Automat, either.)

(Attention bodybuilders, weight-lifters, and muscle-beach-boys. Have you considered the health-building benefits of archery?)

(Whoa, kid. I thought superheroes weren't supposed to accept gratuities. You got a lot to learn about this racket.)

(Journalist-historian George Seldes, in a book written at the end of his century-spanning life, will name Signor D'Annunzio one of the two "worst SOBs" he'd ever met. The other is Errol Flynn. Pretty high bar there, I must say.)

(Our county fair is going on this week, WITHOUT a carnival midway due to the current unpleasantness. It's very depressing. And exactly what is all this supposed to be with Irwin? Did we miss something? Did the Skull hit him over the head with a chair? Did he trip over his own feet fleeing from the courtroom? Did Kay finally reach her limit? OK, Marsh, you better explain this tomorrow.)

(Really, Mr. Tuthill? Leprosy jokes? TOO SOON.)

(Apropos of nothing, isn't it hard to ride a horse when you only have "one eye?" Isn't depth perception essential to equestrianism?)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"How would you feel if you suddenly heard from home that Tommy Manville was taking care of everything?" Yeah, I guess that happens a lot.

"A fourth try with the bonds of Hymen?" Seriously, Mr. Hill? I've never heard it put quite that way.

Well, look at the bright side. At least you won't starve.

Never mind the plot exposition, I'm more concerned with poor Maw Green. If random yeggs in striped sweaters can't shoot straight, well, they just shouldn't shoot at all.

I really hope you packed that flashlight.

"OK, Gould, you think you can do gore? Lemme show you gore."

Hence the expression, "cooking the books."

Seriously, though, who needs a floating beach toy when you've got Walt?

"You don't go to bed with the Devil without..."

I never cease to be amazed at how quick Plushie can get up a tree.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And today's Sunday News bonus...

"...and you thought we'd forgotten."

 

[Fading Fast]

...
("Hey!" says Sally. "Tools? Whatcha doin' wittem tools?" "Um," ums Joe, "i'm -- ah -- screwin' t' radio t' t'table. In case -- ah -- of oit'quakes. Ya neva know when a oit'quake's gonna knock sump'n ova, an' -- ah -- t'row it outta winda...")...

Sure, sure, there are more important things to see in the world in 1941, but what a time-travel experience it would be to transport to Brooklyn and see that doubleheader. Not that I'd ever use my one time-travel experience on such a frivolous thing (he says as he looks up the start time of the game while setting the clock on the time machine).

...
(Y'know, Mr. Samuel Steinhardt of 3821 Nautilus Avenue is a pretty darn good dad.)...

If we've learned anything from Page Four, it's that it's not wrong to question if former hula dancers really make good wives. And circus people, well 'nuff said. (Note, I truly wrote this before seeing our Page Four bonus today.)

... View attachment 356522
(I don't know that being ambassador to Japan in August 1941 is a job with all that much potential. Hope you've got some resumes out.)...

You'd think there'd at least be a future book deal in it.

...[ (Whoa, kid. I thought superheroes weren't supposed to accept gratuities. You got a lot to learn about this racket.)...

Hard to believe there'd be another comic strip story giving "Little Orphan Annie" a run for the "Most Sappiest Storyline of the Year" award, but Breezy's contrite speech to his team is up there with anything Bill Slagg said.

Today, no superhero would consider taking money as our present meme is that doing something to make money - you know, the thing we all do everyday to put food on the table - is somehow tainted.

...[ (Our county fair is going on this week, WITHOUT a carnival midway due to the current unpleasantness. It's very depressing. And exactly what is all this supposed to be with Irwin? Did we miss something? Did the Skull hit him over the head with a chair? Did he trip over his own feet fleeing from the courtroom? Did Kay finally reach her limit? OK, Marsh, you better explain this tomorrow.).

No kidding. Marsh is either having a stroke or he decided to give himself a kinda Sunday vacation as notice how plain the illustrations are today versus most of his work.

... "A fourth try with the bonds of Hymen?" Seriously, Mr. Hill? I've never heard it put quite that way.....

What the heck does that even mean? Is he saying what I think he might be saying - it can't be that, can it? Also, "...another blonde from Grade B cafe society," is a pretty good line too.

...
"OK, Gould, you think you can do gore? Lemme show you gore."..

You called this one right away, Lizzie.

... Hence the expression, "cooking the books."....

Ed has basically told the same joke - teenage boys selling hotdogs at the beach are more interested in the pretty girls in their bathings suits than making money - for this Sunday storyline all summer long. Kudos to him, it's not been the funniest thing ever, but it's kinda worked.

And today's Sunday News bonus...

View attachment 356541
View attachment 356542
"...and you thought we'd forgotten."

I think we know where 1941's Pulitzer is going.

Holy cow, that's a lot to untangle. The quick and dirty is Dodge's family just needs to get out the check book to make all this stop.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I'd settle for being able to listen to that doubleheader, but alas, only about 2 1/2 minutes of audio from all of Mr. Barber and Mr. Helfer's regular-season broadcasts for 1941 exists (on a home-recording disc that I have sitting in a box in my closet.) There was an item in the Daily News radio column the other day indicating that several stations around the country have signed up to relay the doubleheader broadcast to their own regions, so there St. Louis Post Dispatch Guy Who Says Nobody Outside Brooklyn Cares About The Dodgers.

Looking at that Dan Dunn page today, you're right about the art being off. I have a strong suspicion that this page is in fact a rerun from several years ago -- although why it would be stuck in there in the middle of a storyline makes no sense at all unless Marsh really did, I dunno, have a stroke or get locked in a cold-storage warehouse and missed his deadline. Very strange, and I do hope we get some kind of explanation.

Mr. Hill is, I believe, making reference to Hymen, the Greek god of marriage -- but he is also, quite deliberately, making the most aggressive double-entendre that we have yet encountered during our sojourn thru the 1940s. I've always thought he had a bit of an edge to him, but even this took me by surprise.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again -- if you've got a few bucks to invest in 1941, put it in a "Hula Hut" franchise. Seize the zeitgeist!

 

[Harp]

Mr. Hill is, I believe, making reference to Hymen, the Greek god of marriage -- but he is also, quite deliberately, making the most aggressive double-entendre that we have yet encountered during our sojourn thru the 1940s. I've always thought he had a bit of an edge to him, but even this took me by surprise.

Philotes would have been the more appropriate, and, provocative goddess.

 

[Fading Fast]

Philotes would have been the more appropriate, and, provocative goddess.

I see that, but to Lizzie's point, you then wouldn't have the searing double entendre.

 

[Harp]

I see that, but to Lizzie's point, you then wouldn't have the searing double entendre.

Nothing like an aggressive, searing, surprising double entendre Hymen reference all bundled together.

Back in callow impetuous compulsive youth, I threw a ring into the Aegean Sea-lined it across the plate-
for Poseidon's daughter Hero to find. Philotes later whispered that she found it.

 

[LizzieMaine]

British and Russian troops today are meeting fierce resistance in their campaign to oust German agents from the oil fields of Iran, vital sources of supply to the Red Army. Authoritative British sources stated that Imperial forces from the British Isles and India landed at the head of the Iranian Gulf, and ran into immediate opposition from Iranian troops. Soviet planes meanwhile bombed the Iranian town of Tabris, while Russian ground troops driving down from the Caucasus border are clashing with the Iranian army. The British sea invasion was intended to move quickly to Iranian oil centers, and to secure railroad lines that might be used to transport supplies sent from America into the Soviet Union.

Russian troops under the command of Marshal Klementi Vorshilov and thousands of civilian fighters continue to hold Leningrad, in the face of ferocious attacks from Finnish and German forces driving in from the north and south. The battle for the Soviet Union's second largest city raged with unabashed fury during the night as guerilla bands made up of civilian men and women, pledged to a suicide defense of the city, penetrated behind enemy lines to attack and destroy groups and columns of invading troops. The German army is reported to be capturing Russian peasants and placing them near every telephone and telegraph pole along the invasion route as a guard against guerilla attacks against communication lines. The peasants themselves, however, are reported to be rising up to attack the invaders and destroy the lines before vanishing into the woods to join the defense of the city.

The Senate Finance Committee today voted to reduce the personal income tax exemption for married couples from $2000 to $1500 and from $850 to $750 for single persons in an attempt to add $300,000,000 to the yield of the pending tax bill. An estimated 6,000,000 persons hitherto exempt from the income tax would be added to the rolls of taxpayers under the legislation.

President Roosevelt today named Solicitor General Francis Biddle of Philadelphia to the post of Attorney General, replacing Robert H. Jackson, recently elevated to the position of associate justice of the Supreme Court. No opposition to his confirmation is expected in the Senate. Mr. Biddle was private secretary to Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes in 1911-12, prior to beginning his own law practice. He was named Solicitor General early this year.

Petitions nominating Borough President John Cashmore to the Republican Party ticket in the upcoming election are under scrutiny today after former corporation counsel Paul Windel raised allegations that the petitions contain "wholesale forgeries" of voter signatures. Acting on the allegations, the Board of Elections last night requested that District Attorney William O'Dwyer -- the Democratic Party's nominee for Mayor -- begin an immediate investigation of the charges. In the wake of that request, E. Ivan Rubenstein, co-chairman of the Democratic Party's law committee called on Mr. O'Dwyer to likewise investigate alleged forgeries appearing on petitions nominating Special Sessions Justice Matthew Troy as Mr. Cashmore's opponent in the Republican primary. Mr. Cashmore has already secured the Democratic Party nomination for reelection as Borough President.

After splitting yesterday's vital doubleheader at Ebbets Field, the Dodgers and the Cardinals will play another tense twinbill tomorrow, following the postponement of this afternoon's scheduled single game due to rain. It is expected that Curt Davis will face Mort Cooper in the first game, with either Kirby Higbe or Fred Fitzsimmons against Max Lanier in the nightcap. Tickets for today's game may be exchanged at the box office in Ebbets Field's marble rotunda or the Dodger office at 215 Montague Street for tickets good tomorrow.

Former World's Fair President Grover Whalen has been appointed New York City gasoline czar by Mayor Laguardia, and has been instructed to prepare "a sensible and reasonable plan for gasoline conservation" in the city. The appointment was announced on the heels of a demand by the American Automobile Association for a full Congressional investigation of the present gasoline crisis on the East Coast, with the AAA charging that "motorists have been humbugged from day-to-day" with conflicting statements from Government officials on the status of the gasoline supply.

(Oh, and guess what? It's probably counterfeit.)

The chairman of the Governor's Committee on Discrimination in Employment reported today a steady increase in the number of firms in the State of New York to have relaxed employment requirements to eliminate or reduce discrimination on the basis of race, religion, or national origin. "Hundreds of employers in this state have discriminated against qualified workers because they are Negroes, or Jewish, or of German or Italian origin," stated Industrial Commissioner Frieda S. Miller, "are now reversing their practice." Mrs. Miller noted that Brooklyn's Sperry Gyroscope has just hired its first crew of skilled Negro production workers, and has instituted up-grading programs for the promotion of less-skilled Negroes.

("Of course, I'm driven to smoke more of them to get my hit, and I don't understand why...")

("They always said Benny was tight," scoffs Fred Allen, "and now we know why...")

(It Was A Simpler Time...)

The Eagle Editorialist congratulates Bob Kanzer, attached to Station B of the Brooklyn Post Office, as winner of the third annual Model Mailman Poll conducted by this newspaper. With 12,745 votes, Mr. Kanzer beat his closest competitor by 3000 ballots, and will receive, in addition to the prized Eagle Model Mailman plaque, a week's vacation in Atlantic City.

(Mr. Lichty's been reading the papers.)

("Wiry, wasp-waisted, and bald-headed." And Freddie Fitzsimmons laughs and laughs.)

The Dodgers and the Cardinals won't play on the field today, but they'll do battle on the air nevertheless -- as guest on the Vox Pop program over WABC, tonight at 8PM. The program hosted by Parks Johnson and Wally Butterworth will originate from the Grand Ballroom of the Hotel Bossert in downtown Brooklyn, before an audience of "rabid ball fans of both sexes."

("T'ink we c'n get in?" asks Joe. "Put onna a tie," says Sally.)

(And you can tune in for all the fun, right here --

)

(Actually it's not cannibals at all. Gene Krupa just wanted a private place to rehearse.)

(All right, Josephine. Moment of Truth.)

(With no experience and no training? Nah, you'll be fine.)

(If this leads into a week of flashbacks/reruns, we'll know Marsh is on vacation.)