- Messages
- 17,220
- Location
- New York City
...Fred Fitzsimmons has accomplished much during his sixteen-year major league career, but yesterday marked a first for the portly pitcher -- he was drafted to serve as an umpire during yesterday's game between the Dodgers and the Boston Braves when the team of arbiters assigned to work the contest were late in arriving at Braves Field. Fitz and coach Johnny Cooney of the Braves were unanimously voted by the two teams to umpire the contest until the real umps arrived....
"Portly."
A quiet evening at home with Jane is looking pretty good right about now.
And soon enough, there will be charging stations for it everywhere.
Meanwhile, Dan Dunn, the star of our strip has regained his memory, but decided to remain an obscure taxicab driver thinking: "This life is pretty good, no Irwin, no BS and no boss once I save up enough to buy my own hack. I hope things are going well for Kay; I'm sure she'll meet someone nice. Tralalalala."
Or said less colorfully than Lizzie, this is not how that works, this is not how any of that works. One only takes over that way in 1930s mob movies from Warner Bros.
Well, good job Burma, now you can't have sex.