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The "Annoying Phrase" Thread

ChiTownScion

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,247
Location
The Great Pacific Northwest
Chicago cops I must say do have a sense of humor. Got stopped one day driving my sister's car,
pulled over by a patrol officer who had something of an attitude; all over a minor traffic signage issue
and its applicability to the street itself, which alternated to a one-way but ran parallel to a parking lot
which pierced the end zone by a yard or two. He wanted to impound the car, but I explained the signage
details from a legal perspective against the possibility of vehicle impoundment of sis's car-my ass was
on the line. The cop relented, and sarcastically asked if I was studying law. To which I answered yes,
he smiled or rather smirked, and said "counselor get your ass out of here now.":)


Best cop humor incident I ever witnessed was in court one day when I was appointed to represent some suburban yahoo who was heading home on Addison at Clark after witnessing a home team victory @ Wrigley- and consuming far too much beer for his own good. The officer in question was female, blonde, quite attractive, and detailed that day from the 9th District (Bridgeport): while crossing the street he decided to give her buns a nice squeeze... and was, of course, arrested for misdemeanor battery.

Defendant was quite contrite in court, all apologies: he pled guilty, and was about to receive his one year court supervision, when yours truly approached the officer during a short recess.

"I'm going to have to submit a statistic on this one, officer, and I need your input: was Mr.____ 'copping a feel,'.... or was he 'feeling a cop?' "

Everyone- including the judge- had a good laugh on that one.
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,775
Location
New Forest
Best cop humor incident I ever witnessed was in court one day when I was appointed to represent some suburban yahoo who was heading home on Addison at Clark after witnessing a home team victory @ Wrigley- and consuming far too much beer for his own good. The officer in question was female, blonde, quite attractive, and detailed that day from the 9th District (Bridgeport): while crossing the street he decided to give her buns a nice squeeze... and was, of course, arrested for misdemeanor battery.

Defendant was quite contrite in court, all apologies: he pled guilty, and was about to receive his one year court supervision, when yours truly approached the officer during a short recess.

"I'm going to have to submit a statistic on this one, officer, and I need your input: was Mr.____ 'copping a feel,'.... or was he 'feeling a cop?' "

Everyone- including the judge- had a good laugh on that one.
Back in the 70's, a minor case made headline press when, in court, the defendant stood in the dock looking totally bored, hands in his pockets, just standing there, chewing gum.

This infuriated the judge, who called the jailer, (a term given to the court usher.) "Jailer, instruct the defendant to stop masticating." The jailer looked across at the belligerent young man in the dock, then shouted: "Oi, you, take your hands out of your pockets."

Such was the hilarious uproar, the judge called for a ten minute recess.
 

Lean'n'mean

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,086
Location
Cloud-cuckoo-land
Back in the 70's, a minor case made headline press when, in court, the defendant stood in the dock looking totally bored, hands in his pockets, just standing there, chewing gum.

This infuriated the judge, who called the jailer, (a term given to the court usher.) "Jailer, instruct the defendant to stop masticating." The jailer looked across at the belligerent young man in the dock, then shouted: "Oi, you, take your hands out of your pockets."

Such was the hilarious uproar, the judge called for a ten minute recess.

Did it have a happy ending ?
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,775
Location
New Forest
Did it have a happy ending? If I could only remember the details I might be able to find it on line. I do remember the downmarket press having great fun with masturbate and masticate. I bet the cartoonists had a good day with it too.
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,775
Location
New Forest
"He turned round and said." Why does someone have to turn round before speaking. A neighbour of ours is always using the phrase. Another infuriating expression that our neighbour uses is: "I'm not one to gossip." Not much!
 

vitanola

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,254
Location
Gopher Prairie, MI
If you say so.

As I said before, everyone has a cop story and they often devolve into the dietary habits of the officers. The day I started the job I had a 34" waist. The day I retired, though thirty pounds heavier, I did and still have a 34" waist. Never once in 26 years did I eat a donut in public while in uniform. That cliche has been around a long time. Never worked a day where I didn't have to listen to some smart ass, though.

Up here, some officers have fun with the old stereotype (and make some money on the side)

https://copsdoughnuts.com/about/
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,775
Location
New Forest
“Your call is important to us.”
That's why we have an automated system to reassure you that you are very important. We know that without your custom we wouldn't have a business, so we instruct this phone messaging gopher to keep complimenting you so that you won't get exasperated, but if you do the program has been carefully construed not to lose it's temper. We do understand your frustration and we hope that we have given you every reassurance that we have your best interests at heart.

You silly, sad, pathetic loser, you.
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,775
Location
New Forest
"The Fact of the Matter" What kind of gobble-de-gook is that? The fact of the matter is, you don't know what you are talking about, nor when to shut up.
Giving It 110%. This is, without doubt, the kind of gibberish loved by sports players, TV announcers and morons who didn't pay attention at school.
"On the same page." My Godson cracked me up when he told me that it's now morphed into: On the same app. You know how annoying it is when some people are using WhatsApp and others are using Viber or Signal or whatever. “Can we meet before the presentation so we’re all on the same app?”
If anyone can translate WhatsApp, Viber & Signal, it would be appreciated.
 
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Boomerang

One of the Regulars
Messages
277
Location
Washington State
This one may be too personal, but I'll submit it for Lounger approval:

"Solve for x."

Fine if x is the only letter, and numbers flesh-out the equation. If you want me to solve for x in a sea of alphabet soup, however...
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,775
Location
New Forest
"Don't try this at home." There was a time when kids instinctively knew that it would be stupid to try and do the things depicted in cartoons.
It seems that no matter how impossible it would be to copy, a disclaimer has to accompany it for fear of litigation.
coyote.jpg
 

Benny Holiday

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,795
Location
Sydney Australia
It's like when they banned the Three Stooges from TV here because it was "too violent" and "kids might think it's okay to poke each other in the eyes and hit one another over the head." Funny, all the kids I grew up with watched the Sttoges in the 70s and 80s and never once did it occur to any of us that it was anything other than cartoon shenanigans that of course aren't real. Boy did we laugh though! How stupid have people got to be?
 

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