How about a corned beef on rye, all fat, and a high calorie cream soda?
Chicago cops I must say do have a sense of humor. Got stopped one day driving my sister's car,
pulled over by a patrol officer who had something of an attitude; all over a minor traffic signage issue
and its applicability to the street itself, which alternated to a one-way but ran parallel to a parking lot
which pierced the end zone by a yard or two. He wanted to impound the car, but I explained the signage
details from a legal perspective against the possibility of vehicle impoundment of sis's car-my ass was
on the line. The cop relented, and sarcastically asked if I was studying law. To which I answered yes,
he smiled or rather smirked, and said "counselor get your ass out of here now."
Back in the 70's, a minor case made headline press when, in court, the defendant stood in the dock looking totally bored, hands in his pockets, just standing there, chewing gum.Best cop humor incident I ever witnessed was in court one day when I was appointed to represent some suburban yahoo who was heading home on Addison at Clark after witnessing a home team victory @ Wrigley- and consuming far too much beer for his own good. The officer in question was female, blonde, quite attractive, and detailed that day from the 9th District (Bridgeport): while crossing the street he decided to give her buns a nice squeeze... and was, of course, arrested for misdemeanor battery.
Defendant was quite contrite in court, all apologies: he pled guilty, and was about to receive his one year court supervision, when yours truly approached the officer during a short recess.
"I'm going to have to submit a statistic on this one, officer, and I need your input: was Mr.____ 'copping a feel,'.... or was he 'feeling a cop?' "
Everyone- including the judge- had a good laugh on that one.
Back in the 70's, a minor case made headline press when, in court, the defendant stood in the dock looking totally bored, hands in his pockets, just standing there, chewing gum.
This infuriated the judge, who called the jailer, (a term given to the court usher.) "Jailer, instruct the defendant to stop masticating." The jailer looked across at the belligerent young man in the dock, then shouted: "Oi, you, take your hands out of your pockets."
Such was the hilarious uproar, the judge called for a ten minute recess.
Did it have a happy ending?
If you say so.
As I said before, everyone has a cop story and they often devolve into the dietary habits of the officers. The day I started the job I had a 34" waist. The day I retired, though thirty pounds heavier, I did and still have a 34" waist. Never once in 26 years did I eat a donut in public while in uniform. That cliche has been around a long time. Never worked a day where I didn't have to listen to some smart ass, though.
That's why we have an automated system to reassure you that you are very important. We know that without your custom we wouldn't have a business, so we instruct this phone messaging gopher to keep complimenting you so that you won't get exasperated, but if you do the program has been carefully construed not to lose it's temper. We do understand your frustration and we hope that we have given you every reassurance that we have your best interests at heart.“Your call is important to us.”
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits."...How stupid have people got to be?