Sunday best?

[Helysoune]

As I sat in the pew before Mass last week, I was glancing around at the other parishoners, which wasn't so unusual in and of itself, but what was upsetting was the prevalence of Wal-Mart attire. No, I don't mean clothes bought at Wal-Mart, there's nothing wrong with that. What I mean is clothes that would be worn to go shopping there - flip-flops, tank tops, teensy shorts, jeans, bathing suit cover-ups with undergarments hanging out or without undergarments altogether. *cringe*

Now, I won't go into some lengthy diatribe about the lack of manners and decorum during Mass, or anything like that, but it got me wondering. Whatever happened to "Sunday best"? I also happened to think about the natty dressers we've got here at the Lounge, those amongst us who won't be caught dead without lipstick or a tie.

Do you pull out all the stops and actually go for a Sunday best (or Friday or Saturday, depending on your persuasion) outfit? Or do you just wear what you'd wear during the week, since you're already more "dressed up" than the majority of the population anyway?

 

[John in Covina]

We live in a casual world where the concept of reverence has disappeared for many people. The idea that one should dress differently for certain situations is not being taught or passed down. A recent funeral I went to was an eye opener in that regard.

If you recall the words to the Little Drummer Boy a sweet Christmas song he says, 'I played my best for Him." In this the Little Drummer Boy recognizes that this person is to be honored and that that means the best we can manage, an observation lost for many today.

However, there is a whole thing about being judgemental, and some will caution you in no uncertain terms that you may not judge anyone by how they look but only by their actions. We do not know if what they are wearing is the best they can do at that time. If they don't know any better how does one instruct them?

 

[John in Covina]

Add to the above that many will clearly tell you we have no right to hold others to antiquated and outdated value systems.

 

[Helysoune]

At our old church, on the other side of town, I could believe that this was the best the people could afford. There's a lot of poverty in our old neighborhoood and the church runs a soup kitchen to help out the community and so on, so when someone turned up in jeans, that probably was their best. and even wearing that, there was a certain attitude about them that I can't put into words, but it was different.

However, we go to a different church now that we've moved, and this one is in a well-to-do area, with a parking lot full of Lexus, Mercedes and BMWs. I find it extremely hard to believe that the gal with her bejeweled belly button hanging out and her bottom barely covered by her shorts is wearing the best clothes she has, or that she's so hard-pressed that was all the more cloth she could afford.

I'm not looking down my nose at anyone, certainly not at people who really and truly can't afford much (Lord knows most weeks we don't have two dimes to rub together). I can't say it's that I was raised differently, because my dad would go to church in jeans when I was a kid and we went to Saturday evenings. I don't know, I just think there still ought to be a time and place for certain things, and yardwork clothes and swimwear should be worn when doing yardwork and swimming, that's all.

I'm mostly interested, like I said, in how others here go about it, since it seems most Loungers wouldn't wear shorts to the opera or ripped jeans to a wedding anyway.

 

[John in Covina]

For myself, in the hot weather I wear a tie most of the time but not always. (The AC at church is not set cool enough for my comfort and it's expensive to cool the Sanctuary.)

In the winter I tend to wear suits but not always. I have not worn shorts to a Sunday Divine Service but during hot weather I have for a Wednesday evening Vespers because I did not have time to go home and change clothes. Better to be poorly dressed and make it on time than be well dressed and show up late or not at all.

 

[Edward_Lindey]

I guess it depends on what type of Church. 80% of the guys that attend my church wear suits, and the Ladys out shile us all.

Edward

 

[Edward]

Interesting thread.... Back in the Old Country, I grew up with a Church where I would wear collar / tie /suit simply to fit in, and it was very much looked down upon to do otherwise. (Manys a snarky remark was made by the mostly eldery congregation about a couple of kids who regularly attended in jeans). The Church I now attend (Wesley's Chapel, the Mother Church of World Methodism, to be precise - see www.wesleyschapel.org.uk ) is mixed. Everyone shows up pretty tiily dressed, though there is the full gamut from jeans-casual through to all-out Sunday best. Partly this is generational: oler folks will tend to be in a suit and tie, while younger people, who have grown up in a much more casual age, tend towards more casual dress. Given the nature of this particular church, we also have a number of visitors on any given Sunday - as holidaymakers for the most part, they tend to be fairly casual. The biggest divide is, if I can be frank, along ethnic grounds. We have a very international congregation (at the last count, some three dozen countries were represented in our membership), with a high number of African people. Whatever the reason, it is certainly true that the black members of our congregation, whether they grew up elsewhere or in England, will generally make much more of an effort with their dress than do the white folks on average. I can't claim to know why, only to have noticed this trend. During the Summer many of the African men will wear traditional robes, which looks great.

All in all, I think that within reason someone could turn up dressed however at my church, and feel they fitted in, which I like. I have a lot of sympathy for the argument that by dressing up for the corporate worship and ritual involved in the average religious service one is displaying a level of respect for the deity involved. On the flipside, however, I have heard of cases back in Ireland where someone who didn't have Sunday best was put off attending Church for that reason. I do agree that it is more about attitude behind it than the clothing itself, ultimately.

One thing I would throw into the mix.... Back in the GA, did folks really dress more formally than is the norm now, or was it simply that they dressed (by modern standards) much more formally in general? As we have established in other contexts before now, there are less than formal, modern modes of dress which nevertheless are very much thought-out outfits, which the wearer consirs to be 'beat' - see the hip hop kids, for instance. Not a look I care for at all myself, but you can't deny that they put great effort and care into it.

 

[thunderstick]

i love looking at old time pictures of people at the jersey shore. on a hot summer day they are walking the boardwalk in in suit and straw hat.

 

[polocoat]

It's ironic that I should come upon this thread, especially after a lengthy discussion today with a fellow church goer. I too am a believer that you wear your "Sunday Best" when going to church. With the opening of places like Savers and the ever present Good Will and Salvation Army, I'm sure if one wanted to dress properly for church (properly being defined as "non-"Walmart" defined in a previous posting) without spending much money, one could. Sunday Best can be had, for example, at Savers for less than a pair of jeans and flip flops at a new clothing retail store. So....., in my experience, it is laziness, apathy, and ignorance that sums up why many people don't dress appropriately for church and not a lack of $$$$$$.

 

[Geesie]

I have long been of the opinion that manner of dress reflects attitude. If you don't dress up for something, it means you don't think it's any more special than anything else.

I've worn suits to church since I owned suits and before that it was polo or oxford shirts.

This summer, I spent some time at my parents' place in Missouri. Their church, everyone was dressed in polos or button-up shirts. Here in California, shorts and flip-flops seem to be the dominant mode.

I also have long been of the opinion that flip-flops have no place outside communal showers, swimming pools, or the beach.

 

[Canadian]

I generally wear a suit to church, when I attend. The older folk look around the room, and see there aren't many younger folk. So it's important to rally the colours and show the older members that their traditions will remain.

But it's more than tradition. It's comfort. People need to be comfortable wearing suits to church. Nowadays, people think they need to be casual because after all, they're not going to Temple or Church. They're going to hang out with Jesus for an hour or two. Well, you're not hanging out. You're going for affirmation and solidification of church related studies and being closer to God, not going because it's fun.

My pastor welcomes homeless people into the church. But he's asked girls to cover themselves up before returning.

Canadian

 

[davestlouis]

My mom taught us to wear our "Sunday go to meetin' clothes" to church...
I work in the funeral trade, and even at funeral services in church, people are underdressed. That, and women in SHORT black dresses, who take the "little black dress" thing too literally for my taste.

 

[Elaina]

When I was small, I used to attend with a man who wore jeans, a ratty button down and shoes that were cracked but they were clean, and this was in a fairly affluent neighboorhood. Turned out, that happened to be the best clothing the man owned, and could afford because his wife was dying of cancer, and all of his money and energy was going to her care, and had been for several years. All of it came out because someone complained to a Sister about it and caused this poor man a great deal of embarrassment and grief on top of his burdens he was carrying. Sometimes you never know why they wear them, and it may well be poor manners, but sometimes it's not. I may find the flip flops/jeans/tanks disrespectful, and sometimes I may mention it because I didn't grow up in a time where it was ever done, but ultimately that "not" is what keeps me from caring too much about it.

I figure how they dress and act is between them and their God. I don't need to turn into the church's fashion police.

As for me, I wear a dress. I don't care if it's Muslim, Christian, Pagan, Buddhist or the cult down the road; if I am attending, picking up or being roped into helping I always have.

 

[vintage68]

This thread is an eye opener. ALthough not a church goer myself, I simply assumed everyone dressed up when attending.

Flip flops and shorts in church? *shudder* I think I read somewhere that was one of the signs of the apocalypse....

 

[polocoat]

Yes, I can certainly understand there are people who honestly just can't afford to buy clothes because of some very good reasons. They wear what they have - God bless them. However, it's those disrespectful individuals who wear $150.00 Air Jordan's, designer jeans, "rock and roll" printed tee shirts, and expensive revealing/distracting beach wear to church that I'm referring to. They can afford to buy Sunday best but, are more concerned with drawing attention to themselves and looking "kool" (whatever that means). As far as being comfortable, it doesn't seem to me unreasonable to be uncomfortable maybe once per week for about an hour in order to show proper respect. Ask yourself this question, Would you go to a job interview in anything but your Sunday best and expect to get hired??????

 

[Helysoune]

Flip flops and shorts in church? *shudder* I think I read somewhere that was one of the signs of the apocalypse....

lol lol lol

That's a great point, polocoat. I work for a very large bank and periodically we'll have hiring fairs to try to fill a bunch of open positions at once (plus it's free publicity). There has yet to be one in which I wasn't over something someone wore. Now, keep in mind, this isn't just a fill out an application and maybe we'll call you type event, every applicant who turns up that day will be interviewed at least twice, generally by someone of an assistant vice president rank or higher, and even so people turn up to these things in their shopping clothes.

I can remember the one in which I was hired, one young man in particular stands out. I was fretting because I had accidentally left my suit jacket at home, and in he walks in an oversized designer polo shirt (it had the name across it, but I can't remember for certain which one it was), light blue baggy jeans belted at about mid-thigh, brand-new bright white sneakers and a collection of gold chains draped around his neck. Very well put together outfit, everything was very clean and tidy, hair neatly trimmed and neck freshly shaved. So yes, perhaps this was his most expensive outfit and that's why he wore it. Who knows?

But is it proper? Does propriety even have a place in society today? Doesn't really seem to. Any glimpse at the news will show that it's those who purposely try to be shocking are the ones who get plastered everywhere. I guess it's just the world we live in today.

And I realize I never answered my own question. I set my hair and do my makeup like every other day of the week and just pick out something that fits to wear, a tricky feat at seven months along. I don't wear anything especially "dressy" to church, but technically I don't own clothes that aren't "dressy". I'm actually hoping to either buy or make up a couple of vintage or VI suits to wear once the baby's born, though, preferably with coordinating hats and shoes.

 

[polocoat]

Your comment on the lack of propriety in society today is right on! The bottom line is if one makes an honest effort to dress in a respectful way when going to church then, I guess that's all that can be expected. Afterall, I have no control over how people dress for church. Any control I did have ended when my little rug rats left the nest. Now you can look forward to teaching your own. Have a blessed birth.

 

[RBH]

Interesting thread.... Back in the Old Country, I grew up with a Church where I would wear collar / tie /suit simply to fit in, and it was very much looked down upon to do otherwise. (Manys a snarky remark was made by the mostly eldery congregation about a couple of kids who regularly attended in jeans). The Church I now attend (Wesley's Chapel, the Mother Church of World Methodism, to be precise - see www.wesleyschapel.org.uk ) is mixed. Everyone shows up pretty tiily dressed, though there is the full gamut from jeans-casual through to all-out Sunday best. Partly this is generational: oler folks will tend to be in a suit and tie, while younger people, who have grown up in a much more casual age, tend towards more casual dress. Given the nature of this particular church, we also have a number of visitors on any given Sunday - as holidaymakers for the most part, they tend to be fairly casual. The biggest divide is, if I can be frank, along ethnic grounds. We have a very international congregation (at the last count, some three dozen countries were represented in our membership), with a high number of African people. Whatever the reason, it is certainly true that the black members of our congregation, whether they grew up elsewhere or in England, will generally make much more of an effort with their dress than do the white folks on average. I can't claim to know why, only to have noticed this trend. During the Summer many of the African men will wear traditional robes, which looks great.

All in all, I think that within reason someone could turn up dressed however at my church, and feel they fitted in, which I like. I have a lot of sympathy for the argument that by dressing up for the corporate worship and ritual involved in the average religious service one is displaying a level of respect for the deity involved. On the flipside, however, I have heard of cases back in Ireland where someone who didn't have Sunday best was put off attending Church for that reason. I do agree that it is more about attitude behind it than the clothing itself, ultimately.

One thing I would throw into the mix.... Back in the GA, did folks really dress more formally than is the norm now, or was it simply that they dressed (by modern standards) much more formally in general? As we have established in other contexts before now, there are less than formal, modern modes of dress which nevertheless are very much thought-out outfits, which the wearer consirs to be 'beat' - see the hip hop kids, for instance. Not a look I care for at all myself, but you can't deny that they put great effort and care into it.

I think back in the day [at least in my neck of the woods] Sunday best meant just that.
Your best suit, dress or even overalls. It was your best. You saved it for special times. As funds allowed your best would improve.
As a United Methodist, we run the gamult from jeans to three piece suits at my country church. I have been known to wear them both.
I do know that Africa has the largest number of new Methodist churches.
And that my black friends of all denominations tend to 'dress' up more .

 

[Bingles]

I attend the older style Catholic Mass, now called the "extraordinary form", or loosely referred to as the "Latin Mass". The atmosphere tends to be more transcendent and more formal in and of itself (the rituals are beautiful!). The majority of the people who attend wear suits and dresses... and veils or hats for some ladies. It's very refreshing to see young people dressing properly.. at least on Sundays.. haha.

I'm always amazed that after newcomers have been with us awhile, their style gradually changes. First the switch the jeans with khakis, then the polo shit for a button down, then eventually add the tie. I don't know if it is the somberness of the Mass itself, "peer pressure", or a combination of both.

 

[Geesie]

I couldn't imagine attending a Tridentine Mass in jeans. I'd feel so shabby and conspicuous.

That makes me wonder if my wife feels uncomfortable sans mantilla... I hope not.