Someone stole my magazine!

[Lady Day]

I was about to go out and walk the pooch, and I see a magazine I have been looking for had arrved. "Oh joy," I say to myself, "Ill pick it up right after I walk my dog," for it had been set on top of the post box.

I get back 15 min later, and its gone! It had wrapping, and my name on it. Its not like it had been there for 5 days. It was in a 15 min span someone swiped my mag.

People I have told this to said, "Well, you should of taken it with you."

"But it had my name on it."

"Dont matter, someone could take it."

"So its my fault?"

"Yes."

This got me thinking. Now I understand, thinking ahead and prepairing and such, but since when did everything become the fault of the victum?

"Dude your car got broken into! Shouldnt of parked it there!"

"I heard someone stole your bike. Man you shouldnt of locked it up that way..."

"Oh, you got shot, shouldt of been at that place at that time!"

What!?

Im noticing more and more people I know saying stuff like this about things in the news. Why do we now do this? When did this start? I understand there is some grey area yes, but why now do we automatically blame/criticize/ taunt the victum, instead of the person who did them wrong?



Just some thoughts

LD

 

[Sefton]

Sorry to hear about your magazine. All of my early 1930s Esquires were left safely on my apt. mail box and I'd be very upset if any of them went "missing".
I understand what you're saying about blaming the victim-it always annoys me when a victim of violence is spoken of as being "in the wrong place at the wrong time" when he/she was just doing an everyday normal errand,etc. We no longer want to place blame on those who do the deed and we won't accept responsibility for our letting our society lose it's bearings. "All things being relative" let's us off the hook from making judgements?

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

I'd never blame the victim unless they were just plain asking for trouble.
Stealing mail is a federal crime I here,...a serious offense so it's not like leaving mail in your mailbox is asking to get it ripped off. That really suxx,... I've had packages stolen that the mail carrier just left outside my door when I wasn't home. But I blame the punk "neighbors" I used to have.

 

[Viola]

Well, I don't think you did anything wrong, and I don't think you should have lost your magazine. And I don't think you were silly to leave it there for a couple minutes.

That said, some guy I know was LIVID about his wife's car getting broken into for her ipod and I just cannot imagine what the jumping heck they were thinking leaving it in there like that (overnight or some such). I don't mean to say it was their fault, but its like leaving your purse on your front porch; so not a good idea that in my life it would go without saying.

 

[Jeynne]

Ahh, I had my mail stolen for a year, before I figured out that the post office/UPS wasn't misplacing my packages, my neighbor was stealing them. I started having my mail sent to someone else's house, that took care of the problem. It's frustrating, knowing that someone is taking your mail.

It's ridiculous to blame the victim. For one thing, you'd think you would be able to trust people not to take something that doesn't belong to them. How were you to know that in the short period of time you were gone, someone would take your magazine?

Say you weren't even home at the time your mail arrived, and it was stolen...Would that be your fault as well? Should you wait at the door for the mailman to arrive every day? No.

People just need to learn to stop taking things that don't belong to them.

 

[Diamondback]

I used to have a similar problem around my place. Then I started renting a PO box... (which also lets me obscure exactly where I live...)

 

[The Wolf]

I'm sorry to here that, L.D. but that's what you get for living in the city.
Sometimes my mail just doesn't arrive. Since I sometimes get the mail of my neighbor to my right I asked my neighbor to my left if they ever got my mail. They just looked at me weirdly and said "No.".[huh]

Sincerely,
The Wolf

 

[Lady Day]

Ahh, I had my mail stolen for a year, before I figured out that the post office/UPS wasn't misplacing my packages, my neighbor was stealing them.... It's frustrating, knowing that someone is taking your mail.


People just need to learn to stop taking things that don't belong to them.

The whole thing angers me prolly more than it should. lol

Makes me wanna get some black light powder, lace some package, and go door to door in my building looking for the tool who keeps swiping items that dont belong to them.

LD

 

[Spitfire]

Well, I don't think you did anything wrong, and I don't think you should have lost your magazine. And I don't think you were silly to leave it there for a couple minutes.

That said, some guy I know was LIVID about his wife's car getting broken into for her ipod and I just cannot imagine what the jumping heck they were thinking leaving it in there like that (overnight or some such). I don't mean to say it was their fault, but its like leaving your purse on your front porch; so not a good idea that in my life it would go without saying.

Breaking into a car to steele an ipod is a crime - leaving it there is not!
It might be stupid - but there is no law against stupidity.

Steeling a purse from a porch is a crime - leaving it there is not!
It might be thoughtless - but there is no law against that either!

Raping a girl is a crime - walking in the streets is not!
No matter where, how late or dressed in what - there is no law agains that!

Where is the difference?

- don't get me started.:rage:

 

[scotrace]

You might tape a note to your box that says "touching the United States Mail of another person is a Federal Crime, punishable by...." etc.

But that might just get you beat up. Which would not be your fault either!

 

[PADDY]

We seem to live in a 'blame' world where the victim is at fault..

A world where a girl is raped, because she was just 'asking for it' the way she walked, or talked, or dressed [huh]

A world where (and this happened in the UK recently), a burglar is chased out of the victims house, cuts himself on the windown glass on his way out (And, 'i think' broke a bone on falling into the garden), and then sues the home owner[huh]

A world where a pensioner wakes in the middle of the night to find a thief rummaging through his room, the thief in trying to get away falls out of the window (it's 2 floors up) and 'now' the pensioner is arrested and faces a the possibility of a life imprisonment if 'the fall' is deemed 'his fault.'[huh]

A world where things are dismissed with a "there's never smoke without fire" (so all parties involved must have some blame attached!![huh] ).

Have I got anybody's blood boiling yet? Sad, isn't it.

 

[Sin Khan]

I think you are right to ask this question. Why do people want to blame YOU for things that other people do to you? I think the answer is rather sad really, but it's what i think.

I think that people who say that it's your fault are people that refuse to aknoledge that stealing is wrong. You see, they don't want to admit that you were a victim at all. In their eyes nothing bad has happened to you. To them, you just made a stupid mistake. Why do people act like this? I belive it is becuase they are people of poor morality. The people who say, you were the stupid one and not the vitem of a criminal are people who justify criminal activities. Basically they are criminally minded people themselves and would gladly steal someone elses belongings if they knew that they would not get caught. They are the same people who loot stores in mass whenever they recognise the opportunity.

In short, they say that you're the stupid one becuase they do not want to admit that their own cravings for criminal behavior are wrong. Everyone who acted like you made a mistake is someone that you shouldn't trust in the least.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think the real problem is a cultural one -- we live in a society where more and more there's a tendency to rationalize antisocial behavior rather than condemn it. "It's not his fault he stole that, it's his environment that made him do it." Well, maybe his environment did influence him, and maybe we *should* pay attention to the conditions which cause crime, but when dollars get down to donuts, *environments* don't commit crimes. Individuals do. And it's those individuals -- not the System, not the victim -- who ought to be held responsible.

All that aside, LD, I can really empathize with you. When I lived in Santa Barbara back in the early '80s, I bought myself a cheap secondhand bike to scoot around town on. I parked it out behind my apartment building and walked down to Thrifty's to get a lock for it. When I got home, the bike had already been stolen. (I still have the lock, at least....)

 

[Feraud]

Many people are opportunistic petty criminals when the situation presents itself.
I have had my morning newspapers taken off my front steps too many times to count. More than likely someone who lives on our block, is doing it.
We have to wait outside the house at the crack of daylight to get the paper before some local idiot swipes it.

Oh, if only I could catch them doing it one time...

 

[Twitch]

Bottom line: there are lightfingered (Edit - Twitch - please stop peppering your posts with foul language!) everywhere.

 

[BJBAmerica]

It's a Federal Crime to steal another person's mail here in the United States. Jeynne, if you've been having your mail stolen by a neighbor for over a year, I would strongly recommend you contact your local Postal Inspector's office. Not only is your mail being stolen, but as a result, your are also subject to "Identity Theft".

Federal laws include prohibitions against stealing mail from a mailbox and destroying mail. Under the federal law, conviction for mail theft is subject to a fine and up to five years in prison, while destruction of mail can lead to a fine and up to three years in prison.

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

Reminds me of all of the times the UPS man or postman left a package on the doorstep without ringing the doorbell or knocking on the door. Just dropping it there and walking away. [huh]

 

[BegintheBeguine]

My postman told me it is also a crime to put anything that's not mail into a person's mailbox. I take the menus and contractor ads to the Postmaster at the Post Office now. I really don't like anyone going into my mailbox. :rage: They already go through my recycling bin which I now keep inside the house until garbage day.

 

[Jeynne]

Honestly, I don't see a point in contacting anyone about it now. Since I started sending my mail to a friend's house, it hasn't been an issue. I'm just happy that I don't have to worry about it anymore. And hopefully, at some point, his parents will send him back to rehab and I can get my mail at my own house again.

 

[Tomasso]

I think that a very common human reaction to random crime is to try to find an error in the victim's actions. It allows one to believe that by not making a certain mistake they could have avoided being victimized themselves. It makes one feel less vulnerable to believe that a victim did something to bring it upon himself.[huh]