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When our kids were young, and even ocassionaly now that they are grown up and not living with us, we've had our kids' friends over for dinner. We never "kept score" and were happy to have them. I can tell you that my wife and I are both good cooks from large families and an extra mouth or two at the table just keeps the leftovers under control.
Neither my wife nor I had parents who wanted other kids over for dinner and we're probably compensating in some way for that.
There are lower-empathic, normal-empathic and high-empathic people. These three groups are colliding all day. That's the way, humanity is, I think. Who got the "optimum-solution"?