Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

So trivial, yet it really ticks you off.

Messages
10,939
Location
My mother's basement
Almost every time someone uses the word "normal" around me in that context (general behavior, that is, not limited strictly to the topic of sex), I ask them to explain their definition of the word because in my observations "normal" isn't as normal as most people think it is.

While I wouldn't argue against the need for certain normative values, I would hope that a person would be less concerned with conforming to the normal than in finding comfort in his or her own skin, provided, of course, that in so doing he or she wouldn't deprive others of the same.

Ask anyone who has been of an "out group" just how it feels not to fit into the empowered people's boxes, no matter how that person might be pushed and stuffed and crammed.
 
Messages
12,017
Location
East of Los Angeles
While I wouldn't argue against the need for certain normative values, I would hope that a person would be less concerned with conforming to the normal than in finding comfort in his or her own skin, provided, of course, that in so doing he or she wouldn't deprive others of the same.

Ask anyone who has been of an "out group" just how it feels not to fit into the empowered people's boxes, no matter how that person might be pushed and stuffed and crammed.
There are some basic commonalities that all humans share--eat when you're hungry, drink when you're thirsty, rest when you're tired, and so on--and those are what I would consider "normal". The rest...meh. What's normal for one person might not be normal for another. But in my opinion our differences are among the things that make us interesting. Speaking as someone who has been a member of that "out group" most of my life, I agree with you. I've known people who struggled most of their lives trying to "fit in", and it always seemed to be such a waste of time and effort to me. Be true to who you are as long as that doesn't negatively impact the lives of others, and live your life as you see fit. Forget "normal"; it doesn't exist.
 
Messages
13,467
Location
Orange County, CA
There are some basic commonalities that all humans share--eat when you're hungry, drink when you're thirsty, rest when you're tired, and so on--and those are what I would consider "normal". The rest...meh. What's normal for one person might not be normal for another. But in my opinion our differences are among the things that make us interesting. Speaking as someone who has been a member of that "out group" most of my life, I agree with you. I've known people who struggled most of their lives trying to "fit in", and it always seemed to be such a waste of time and effort to me. Be true to who you are as long as that doesn't negatively impact the lives of others, and live your life as you see fit. Forget "normal"; it doesn't exist.

You're doing something right when you have more of a life than the people who tell you to get one. :D
 

2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
Be true to who you are as long as that doesn't negatively impact the lives of others, and live your life as you see fit. Forget "normal"; it doesn't exist.

Didn’t know it at the time, but I been following that line of thinking since I was a kid.
One example was in the military.
Being away from home and practically on my own when given a weekend pass,
I did things that I enjoyed, cycling or playing tennis. Going to a bar, getting drunk or
being with bad company and getting wasted was not on my agenda.
If I didn’t do it at home, I’d tell my friend, why am I going to start now just because
I’m away on my own.

And this came in the mail today! :(
Mail.png
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,795
Location
New Forest
There are some basic commonalities that all humans share--eat when you're hungry, drink when you're thirsty, rest when you're tired, and so on--and those are what I would consider "normal". The rest...meh. What's normal for one person might not be normal for another. But in my opinion our differences are among the things that make us interesting. Speaking as someone who has been a member of that "out group" most of my life, I agree with you. I've known people who struggled most of their lives trying to "fit in", and it always seemed to be such a waste of time and effort to me. Be true to who you are as long as that doesn't negatively impact the lives of others, and live your life as you see fit. Forget "normal"; it doesn't exist.
Politics are rightly banned on the forum, but if that was a political manifest, it would get my vote.
 

ChiTownScion

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,247
Location
The Great Pacific Northwest
The one big downside of studying law, and now teaching it, has always been the numbero f people who think they can pump you for free legal advice. Especially amusing when they want to ask about tax law or some such, which isn't my thing. They wouldn't expect their shoe salesman to cut their hair, but yet....

It's even funnier when some deadbeat "friend" keeps asking you if they know a lawyer colleague who will take their case on, investing hundreds of hours, for free.

One I knew who kept pulling this stunt happened to be married to a guy who's a truck mechanic. She always had a wide array of legal needs for her family members- civil and criminal- but somehow was never able to pay at all. I finally asked her if a friend of mine, who has several dumpsters full of truck parts, could impose upon her husband to build her a semi. Nothing fancy: just a Kenworth with 16 forward gears and a full sleeper air conditioned that can pull a 50 foot trailer cross country. She stopped asking for freebies after that: imagine!
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
25,082
Location
London, UK
It's even funnier when some deadbeat "friend" keeps asking you if they know a lawyer colleague who will take their case on, investing hundreds of hours, for free.

One I knew who kept pulling this stunt happened to be married to a guy who's a truck mechanic. She always had a wide array of legal needs for her family members- civil and criminal- but somehow was never able to pay at all. I finally asked her if a friend of mine, who has several dumpsters full of truck parts, could impose upon her husband to build her a semi. Nothing fancy: just a Kenworth with 16 forward gears and a full sleeper air conditioned that can pull a 50 foot trailer cross country. She stopped asking for freebies after that: imagine!

Ha, yes.

And compared to my friends who are professional performers (actors, musicians, cabaret....), we get of really lightly in the "can you do this for free?" stakes.
 
Messages
12,017
Location
East of Los Angeles
Actually, back in the day (and maybe still in use) this was pretty much the only free legal advice available to hobos:

FAJDKgj.png


If you saw this scrawled somewhere on your way into town, it meant "Hobos will be arrested on sight" or "Police here frown on hobos". Either way, if you wanted to avoid any legal hassles it was best to steer clear of that community. Unless, of course, you didn't mind being incarcerated for a while in exchange for a place to sleep and three meals a day. :D
 

2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
When someone says, “sorry-bout-that” and doesn’t mean it.

I feel like telling them...
“I’d rather you keep your mouth shut and not say a word!”
That way we won’t insult one another.
 
Messages
17,218
Location
New York City
I've noticed that many clothing catalogues today - especially those oriented toward the Millennials - don't separate out the men's and women's clothing into separate sections and, even, make it hard to tell (until you read the text or look at sizing) to whom a particular item is for.

This doesn't really make much sense to me as it seems to double the time one has to spend with a catalogue which might sound good to the company, but turns some off especially if, as many do this time of year, you are looking for a gift for someone and want to target in quickly.

Maybe it's just stylistically driven as these new catalogues have less of a catalogue "feel" and look more like a picture book, but methinks there might be something else lurking behind this seemingly silly trend.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,289
Messages
3,077,998
Members
54,238
Latest member
LeonardasDream
Top