Sex in media boosts teen promiscuity-study

[mysterygal]

Bree, you're going to make a wonderful mom! I love being a mom myself...despite all the temper tantrums
I don't know if the whole sex talk subject just realy freaks a lot of parents out [huh] I've found it's really not that big of a deal. I let the examples of other peoples mistakes ( like single teenage moms) to help illistrate why not to do something and the consequences it brings. I've found that as long as you put in tid bits when the situation arises for the topic, you're child will slowly see why some things are good and why some things are bad

 

[jake431]

Jake, I agree completly. I have an amazing relationship with my parents now, but that comes from the fact that I'm 22, work for my Mom, and my parents and I respect each other. I admit there were times growing up that I couldn't stand my parents, and I thought their views on things like sex were so archaic, but I've realized now, that I was lucky to have parents so involved in what I was doing, who I was hanging out with, and where I was. My parents knew everyone of my friends in highschool, and still know most of them, and they always wanted to know where I was and what I was doing. I hated this at the time, but now I'm so thankful for it, it helped to keep me out of a lot of bad situations that I could have gotten into. I think this whole sex debate really does go back to parenting. I don't know why the media is expected to raise children, I mean that's what being a parent is all about. I think that it's one of the scariest things to be raising kids, that's why I'm waiting to have them, but also it's one of the most wonderful. You can end up having wonderful, well adjusted, considerate children with morals.

Sorry for the rant
Bree

Not a rant at all - and your point about expecting the media to raise your children is well taken. My parents also always knew my friends and where I was going, and because there were consistent rules and expectations for me, as I grew older and continued to meet the standards set for me, I was allowed greater freedom, but only because I had shown myself to be responsible for my actions. I'm not nervous about having kids - I know I have the qualities to be a good parent and to know that is a wonderful thing. But I also know that means being invested in my child's life, and that seems to be something that strikes many parents by surprise these days.

-Jake

 

[jake431]

Bree, you're going to make a wonderful mom! I love being a mom myself...despite all the temper tantrums
I don't know if the whole sex talk subject just realy freaks a lot of parents out [huh] I've found it's really not that big of a deal. I let the examples of other peoples mistakes ( like single teenage moms) to help illistrate why not to do something and the consequences it brings. I've found that as long as you put in tid bits when the situation arises for the topic, you're child will slowly see why some things are good and why some things are bad

I agree. I think one thing my parents did which really helped me is that they were willing to show me they were human beings and that they weren't perfect growing up - without sacrificing the needed authority to be effective parents. Many times I see parents who will never admit to having done things in their past because they believe it will entice their children into acting similarly. While that is a risk, I believe if you have a good relationship between child and parent, the child will benefit from having been treated like someone capable of hearing the truth. My parents were always willing to talk rationally about difficult subjects (sex, drugs, drinking - the usual gamut of subjects) and I feel that very rationality evoked a rational response from me. So we talked about it instead of screamed about it, and I think I am much better for it. Certainly I've avoided the pitfalls I see my friends who all to early threw themselves in to drinking and drugs. I know I owe that to real honesty between me and my parents.

-Jake

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Not a rant at all - and your point about expecting the media to raise your children is well taken.

I think that "Sesame Street" and "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" have done a better job of raising kids than some of their parents have.

 

[mysterygal]

true, but that's only 30 minutes worth of good values....scary to think of what's being instilled the remainder of the time

 

[John in Covina]

One bad thing about the Reagan years was when the adminstration forced states to raise their drinking age or lose highway funds. [huh]

********
Teen drivers often are the highest percentage of those involved in accidents, to combine with alcohol made for higher percentages. The perception is American youth are taking longer to be or act in a mature fashion than the European counterparts. It was done to try to lower the number of deaths of teen drivers. Every year at prom time the news carries pictures of some of the most horrendous and heart rendering accidents as teens celebrating their prom get drunk and drive and die. The promise of a young life unfulfilled is very tragic.

I am still of the idea if you can vote at 18 and be in the military you should be old enough to drink....responsibly.

Take another look at the college alcohol binging, it seems that it is inevitable so should we get it over at 12, 14, 16, 18, and so on. Tough call asking teens to be resposible, many are capable others are not. The enthusiasm of youth often overrides what's right or safe. I know I have been there.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

true, but that's only 30 minutes worth of good values....scary to think of what's being instilled the remainder of the time

Good point.

 

[mysterygal]

I think it is asking a lot for teenagers to be responsible...looking back myself, there was a lot of pretty crazy things I did which now there would just be no way. I remember peer pressure contributed to a lot of stupid acts, a lot of kids are ill-equipped for handling that.
About the gross car wrecks....they started showing those during my senior year in high school, it was an eye opener to a lot of kids

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I am still of the idea if you can vote at 18 and be in the military you should be old enough to drink....responsibly.

People should be able to drink at 18. Plenty of countries allow drinking at that age, and it hasn't caused extra chaos. Honestly: kids are ALREADY drinking here at 18, law or no law. They're driving drunk, too. The law is not stopping them.

.

 

[John in Covina]

I don't want to hijack the thread but I have to say I feel a large part of why parents feel so compelled these days to be "friends" with their kids, especially in the teenage and young adult years is that youth culture seems to be the end all be all in our society these days - there isn't a grownup culture that the youth aspire to become a part of that I see. Youth is king and all else seems below it. So, who wants to grow old? I think befriending the young is a (misguided) way to feel young for many parents and that is the trap they fall into. Just my 2 cents on the subject. -Jake

*********
Parenting is about authority, leadership, teaching, commitment and love.
Friendship as a parenting outlook undermines the authority, strains the leadership role and makes it harder to teach, BECAUSE familiarity breeds contempt. Ever see how kids treat their supposed friends?! Watch most teen and young adult shows and you see a vicious pack of kids ripping each other to shreds, playing mind games and attempting to manipulate each other. Now most of my friends did not take it to the degree seen on TV but there was a fair amount of conflict, rivalry and mindgames. Along with the fun and good comraderie.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I think it is asking a lot for teenagers to be responsible...looking back myself, there was a lot of pretty crazy things I did which now there would just be no way.

And that's the point: you did them, even though they were legally prohibited to you. That prohibition did not stop you. Why, then, have the prohibition?

 

[mysterygal]

the rules still need to be there, if parents were doing what they should, I think we wouldn't be seeing a lot of this havoc now.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Yes. The rules are necessary, but they need to be parental rules. And that includes "extended parents": the teens' adult relatives, neighbors, teachers and school administrators. Sadly, this isn't likely to happen.

.

 

[Briscoeteque]

********
Teen drivers often are the highest percentage of those involved in accidents, to combine with alcohol made for higher percentages. The perception is American youth are taking longer to be or act in a mature fashion than the European counterparts. It was done to try to lower the number of deaths of teen drivers. Every year at prom time the news carries pictures of some of the most horrendous and heart rendering accidents as teens celebrating their prom get drunk and drive and die. The promise of a young life unfulfilled is very tragic.

I am still of the idea if you can vote at 18 and be in the military you should be old enough to drink....responsibly.

Take another look at the college alcohol binging, it seems that it is inevitable so should we get it over at 12, 14, 16, 18, and so on. Tough call asking teens to be resposible, many are capable others are not. The enthusiasm of youth often overrides what's right or safe. I know I have been there.

But the law doesn't say that we can drink reponsibly at 18, it says it's impossible for a teenager to drink reponsibly and therefore it's illegal. Yes, I do witness some incredible acts of stupidity involving alchohol around here, but that's all you hear about. Most of the time most people are responsible. I consider myself a responsible drinker; by biggest drunken regret was open complaining about my lonliness to a room full of my friends. But the law says I'm too immature to do what I'm doing. So I circumvent the law. I'm holding a Manhattan in my avatar, by the way.

The kids who are foolish enough to drive drunk or whatever, are not going to be discouraged by the law. They're already making a mistake, they don't care, and making the consequences any worse doesn't make a difference.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

The kids who are foolish enough to drive drunk or whatever, are not going to be discouraged by the law. They're already making a mistake, they don't care, and making the consequences any worse doesn't make a difference.

I suspect that the legal prohibition of drinking doesn't discourage ANY underage teen. If they don't drink, it's for other reasons.

 

[John in Covina]

I AM THE LAW! Judge Dredd

I suspect that the legal prohibition of drinking doesn't discourage ANY underage teen. If they don't drink, it's for other reasons.

********
Making something illegal is enough for some to not to choose to break the law.

For some, they consider the law is for others, not for them.

Does the law stop anyone for doing anything illegal?

Do laws help change things over time?

Seat belt laws have made more people wear them then not and that is a good thing.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

With the poeple i know at least, in the US, age appears to have no bearing upon whether one drinks and drives. Everyone does (with a few exceptions). Isn't it a problem that it's an exception if you don't drink and drive?

At home (UK) where most have been drinking responsibly since about age 15, no-one (with a few exceptions) drives drunk. The exception is the guy who does. And everyone around think s he's an idiot.

The people around here think nothing of drinking 8 beers then hopping into the turbo-charged truck to swerve their way home. Whatever happened to walking? Turns out that you're more likely to be picked up walking home drunk in this town than driving home drunk. That's right, you're responsible enough to walk home from the bar: you're more likely to end up in jail.

fftopic: fftopic:

bk

 

[Marc Chevalier]

********
Making something illegal is enough for some to not to choose to break the law.

Are there really any teens under 18 that choose not to drink because the law tells them so? I'd like to meet those three.

 

[Briscoeteque]

Are there really any teens under 18 that choose not to drink because the law tells them so? I'd like to meet those three.

I haven't met anyone. Though I did wait until legal age to start smoking.

 

[mysterygal]

I remember a few of those kinds of kids growing up, although they were definetely the minority