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Maternal Dissaproval

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thecollegeguy123

New in Town
Messages
29
Location
Miami
Sounds like you need to draw a line in the sand with your mom. If you make it clear to her how unpleasant she makes you feel, enough to post it for advice on a message board, maybe she will try to stop being so critical. Otherwise, I'm sure there are friends in Miami who would be happy to have you come over for Christmas that don't make you feel terrible.

Walking out is by no means a solution, merely a bandaid. Many people have troublesome mothers, myself included for a long time, until we came to some understanding. However, if she is unwilling to listen and stop micro managing your life, you may need to avoid contact for the sake of your mental wellbeing and growth as an adult.

Also, post a photo of you in the hat and we'll let you know how wrong she is about looking ridiculous. 10:1 says you pull it off grand.

By the way, here's me in my gray Stetson Chatham that I highly recommend, and a khaki cotton suit from Brook's Brothers (very stylish for Los Angeles or Miami alike):
View attachment 7213

-Max

How do you add photos? Whenever I try to do so, it tells me to add a url address. Does that mean I have to upload it on another website before I can put it here?
 

Picard1138

One of the Regulars
Messages
229
Location
Philadelphia
You should have the option to upload it from your computer. There is a "from computer" tab, then you select the file, then click "upload files."

-Max
 

Picard1138

One of the Regulars
Messages
229
Location
Philadelphia
I can not find the "from computer tab", even in the advance options.

Colleguy,

In the quick reply section you'll see a set of buttons on the right of the smiley face. The 4th button it, the little tree with four black corners, should bring up a pop up box where you can select to upload the file.
It will look like this: fedoralounge1.jpg

-Max
 

thecollegeguy123

New in Town
Messages
29
Location
Miami
Colleguy,

In the quick reply section you'll see a set of buttons on the right of the smiley face. The 4th button it, the little tree with four black corners, should bring up a pop up box where you can select to upload the file.
It will look like this: View attachment 7217

-Max

I checked my posting permissions. It says that I am not allowed to post attachments. I then checked my settings to see if I could change that, but there was no option to allow me to upload images. Is there a way to change my posting permissions?
 
I checked my posting permissions. It says that I am not allowed to post attachments. I then checked my settings to see if I could change that, but there was no option to allow me to upload images. Is there a way to change my posting permissions?

I'm not positive, but I think that's a function of your recently joining the forum. You're not allowed full permissions until you've reached a certain number of posts. It's to protect the forum against trolls who sign up just to spam the board with images or advertising.
 

thecollegeguy123

New in Town
Messages
29
Location
Miami
I'm not positive, but I think that's a function of your recently joining the forum. You're not allowed full permissions until you've reached a certain number of posts. It's to protect the forum against trolls who sign up just to spam the board with images or advertising.

Okay. I guess I will just have to wait until I can show all of you the picture of me in my fedora. It is a black Akubra Bogart, if that gives you a better idea of what it looks like.
 

Picard1138

One of the Regulars
Messages
229
Location
Philadelphia
Ironically it was my last comment that turned on the upload permission. Here is what I look like in the hat: View attachment 7218

Your mom is wrong. Keep wearing the hat, you look good in it and you like it, what business is it of hers to tell you what to wear?

Hell, if you go with a gray Akubra, I'll even put a black grosgrain ribbon on it for you for free if you want.

-Max
 
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Mulceber

Practically Family
Messages
760
Location
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Looks good! No problems there that I can see (apart from you apparently being sideways). The black actually works better than I thought it was going to, and you don't look Jewish or Amish. I would recommend a second hat in a different color though. Basically, your mother's got no ground to stand on here. I still wouldn't recommend a big confrontation, as that's just going to give her fodder to feel persecuted, like she's the "good, loving mother burdened with an ungrateful son." I'd ignore her. The hat suits you and you shouldn't change it.
 

aihpcfl

New in Town
Messages
23
Location
Florida Panhandle
I haven't experienced this, but do have a mother (and a wife, and wives try to mother you after a while). My advice, do your best to please your mother and don't disappoint her, even over something like this. You do have to be your own man, too, of course, but while you have your mother make her happy. Find a way to do both.
 

EggHead

Practically Family
Messages
858
Location
San Francisco, CA
Well, here in SF it's perfectly OK to have a Mohawk or green/purple hair or really BIG earring(s) hung from all facial parts, but a vintage fedora... not so much. But I wear them anyway.

BTW, I think that black fedora fits your looks well.
 
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Benzadmiral

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,815
Location
The Swamp
CollegeGuy,

I've seen more than a few musicians here in Noo Awlins who wear fedoras, and carry them off with the same kind of style you project. Do an image search for "Dr. John," for an example.

I'd say the advice given earlier, to sit down quietly with Mom and tell her what's what, is probably the best plan. You could ask, "Do you want me to wear a baseball cap instead? Backwards, even? Isn't this better?"
 

Fastuni

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,277
Location
Germany
No criticism, just an observation:
I can see how the black hat with sideburns and little beard leads to "Jewish/Amish" associations of your look.
Nothing wrong with that as long as it does not bother you. A clean shave with "dapper" hair cut will look quite different with that hat (which fits you btw nicely).
 
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facade

A-List Customer
Messages
315
Location
Conklin, NY
If you have fully emancipated yourself financially, then some of the previous advice may make sense. If not, then it probably isn't the time to rock the boat. Wear your hat when you are away but accept her wishes the few weeks you are at home. After all its just a hat.
 
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