Maternal Dissaproval

[facade]

Yes, I think you mentioned your age a few pages back in the thread, there are always exceptions, I was wondering about the opinions of other posters. Older men may no longer have their mothers around so the sentimental value placed on mothers by them can usually color their views about mom/son relationships. While younger guys, can rely on having their mothers in their lives for the next 30 years or so, so the idea of telling the mother to basically mind her business doesn't really bother them? I aint no psychologist, for sure, lol, these are just random thoughts.

I'm older but sentiments do not enter into my opinion. If someone is supporting you then risking that financial support over a hat is stupid at any age. When you can pay your own freight is the time to man up.

 

[CaramelSmoothie]

I'm older but sentiments do not enter into my opinion. If someone is supporting you then risking that financial support over a hat is stupid at any age. When you can pay your own freight is the time to man up.

I agree. You have to cater to those who hold the purse strings, although I do hope his mom is not vindictive enough to withhold the financial support for his education over a hat.

 

[The Fedorable]

I agree. You have to cater to those who hold the purse strings, although I do hope his mom is not vindictive enough to withhold the financial support for his education over a hat.

Now that would be an issue. I share that hope.

 

[facade]

I agree. You have to cater to those who hold the purse strings, although I do hope his mom is not vindictive enough to withhold the financial support for his education over a hat.

I doubt she is but some of the extreme advice given here, if followed, could easily cause a rift in his family and that could have dire financial consequences for him.

 

[The Fedorable]

I doubt she is but some of the extreme advice given here, if followed, could easily cause a rift in his family and that could have dire financial consequences for him.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[HudsonHawk]

Yes, I think you mentioned your age a few pages back in the thread, there are always exceptions, I was wondering about the opinions of other posters. Older men may no longer have their mothers around so the sentimental value placed on mothers by them can usually color their views about mom/son relationships. While younger guys, can rely on having their mothers in their lives for the next 30 years or so, so the idea of telling the mother to basically mind her business doesn't really bother them? I aint no psychologist, for sure, lol, these are just random thoughts.

Well, I am 46, near that cutoff you mention. It may be related to age, but I had no problems telling my mother something wasn't her business when I was 19 or yesterday. My mother was never overly critical, but she was/is a busybody sometimes, and wanted to know and have a say in what I did. I was never rude or disrespectful, but had no problems telling her "that's not something I'm going to share with you" or "I know you don't like it, but I do". After a few times, she simply would say "oh...ok then". And we'd move on about the conversation. I love my mother dearly, but she doesn't need to know, and likely doesn't *want* to know, every detail of my life, and she certainly shouldn't be telling me what I should and shouldn't wear.

 

[HudsonHawk]

I doubt she is but some of the extreme advice given here, if followed, could easily cause a rift in his family and that could have dire financial consequences for him.

I've yet to see anything "extreme" posited here. At worst, folks have told him he needs to tell her he's a grown man and it's not her place to dress him. That's lighyears from "extreme".

 

[Picard1138]

I believe our age and experience absolutely determines our response to this issue. I think this is more than just about a hat, it's about coming of age, for both the original poster (what's your name, by the way?), and his mother. At 45 she is a young parent in my eye. I'm 25, and I'm not ready to have kids yet, my father was 47 when I was born, which is who I attribute my "vintage" interests to.

He and my mother have always had suggestions for my hobbies and style, some stronger suggestions than others, but generally they allowed me to make my own mistakes and learn it on my own. No lesson is learned better than on your own, given some parameters. Personal image is a strong decision that should be left to the kid; identity and individuality are at stake, not to mention family relationships, which is why I highly disapprove of parental involvement most of these kinds of personal aspects. Drugs, alcohol, bad driving and unsafe sex are of course bad behaviors worthy of hard change by the parents, but personal image on a daily basis should absolutely be up to the kids themselves.

My recommendation, Collegeguy, from your photo you look like a pretty normal 19 year old. I'm more of a 1940s-50s clean cut guy, I'm most comfortable in a suit, with a pocket watch, I frequent old style barber shops, and shave with Gillette safety razors. But at one point in my teenage years I used to cut my sideburns like Captain Kirk on Star Trek: The Original Series. What did my parents say? "They're your sideburns, do whatever you want."

Enjoy your mother while she's still around, try to be civil, but don't let her live your life for you. Remind her that it's your life to live, and it could be a lot worse.

-Max

 

[RBH]

...

Enjoy your mother while she's still around, try to be civil, but don't let her live your life for you. Remind her that it's your life to live, and it could be a lot worse.

-Max

Some of the best advice given.

 

[Rogera]

Amen Rusty, nuff said.

 

[RBH]

Amen Rusty, nuff said.

With this I think this thread has run its course.
No one has gotten out of hand... all remarks have been given in a very friendly and civil manner.
But I do not think any more can be gained by continuing on with it.
thecollegeguy123, we wish you many years of hat wearing... maybe your mom will come around.
Maybe not... but above all you are the one that will make your happiness.


I will close this as to not let it degrade into anything other than what it is now.