Is chivalry dead?

[sheeplady]

In my experience, in the southern US and in the midwest states close to them, ma'am is used for every female over the age of eighteen if you don't know them and if you do know them Miss goes in front of their first name (Miss Rue for example). I'm not sure what they say in the east, but in the west, it seems to be "hey you"

I have no idea what you would use in a work situation.

I was taught that you call a lady either miss or ma'am. Miss if they are younger, ma'am if they are older. So for instance, if I approached a youngish woman in a department store it would be, "Excuse me, miss, do you work here?" For me, it used to be anyone under 25 was automatically a "miss" above was a "ma'am" but as I've gotten older I've noticed who I automatically call miss has gotten older.

Men are "sir."

My mother taught me this, so I'm not sure what others in the Northeast part of the US were taught. Actually, on second thought, I was never taught, but this is what my mother does, so I must have picked it up from her. My father calls every female "miss" I think unless they are over the age of 70. I'll have to pay more attention next time.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

People always call me Sir and I get a huge kick out of it lol

 

[John in Covina]

I keep thinking of a certain movie.

NINOTCHKA: I am interested only in the shortest distance between these two points. Must you flirt?
LEON: I don't have to but I find it natural.
NINOTCHKA: Suppress it.
LEON: I'll try.


NINOTCHKA: I have heard of the arrogant male in capitalistic society. It is having a superior earning power that makes you like that.

NINOTCHKA: You are bringing in wrong values. Love is a romantic designation for a most ordinary biological, or shall we say chemical, process. A lot of nonsense is talked and written about it.

 

[Puzzicato]

What do you call a lady when not using her name? When in a work situation if a man does something for which you want to congratulate him, you say "good man". What do you say to a lady? What about bar staff? You can call a man mate, pal, buddy, friend, young man, sir... etc. What's can you call a lady? Miss? Not if she's married. Ma'am? Depends on her age. And it's really hard when some ladies hate the word lady, some hate woman and most think girl is patronizing. The effort we have to go to in order to determine which words will offend which people is another reason chivalry is dying (imho).

If you are congratulating someone in the workplace, I don't see why you can't use her name. Or just say "Well done".

In my experience, in the southern US and in the midwest states close to them, ma'am is used for every female over the age of eighteen if you don't know them and if you do know them Miss goes in front of their first name (Miss Rue for example). I'm not sure what they say in the east, but in the west, it seems to be "hey you"

I have no idea what you would use in a work situation.

When someone calls me ma'am I know they are either Southern or were in the military! I actually don't think I call women anything, if I don't use their name. I am either making eye contact or generally addressing them directly so they know I am talking to them.

 

[AmateisGal]

I honestly do not have a problem when men call me "ma'am." I don't know that I'm necessarily old enough to be called it (and until a few years ago, I didn't know that there was an age requirement for that particular greeting!). I don't mind. But that's just me.

 

[Feraud]

The Mrs. half freaked out when a young person called her ma'am.
She is a doll and looks younger than her age but reluctantly agreed she might look "older" to the eyes of a teen.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Around here the honorific of choice is "Deeah," and it has no age specificity. "How yah doin', deeah?" "Heah's yah groc'ries, deeah." "You go two blocks down an' bang a left, deeah." Out of staters sometimes get offended and interpret it as condescending, but they don't know what they talkin' 'bout, deeah. You wanna come up heah, you bettah learn to talk our langwidge.

 

[rue]

Here in Ohio, besides the Ma'am and Miss, it's "honey". Men call women "honey" and women call men and other women "honey". I don't mind it all [huh]

 

[Justin B]

I certainly use Ma'am and Sir constantly. Little girls get called "Sweetheart" and little buys "Pardner". That's just how it is in Texas...'cept for Austin. Them folks is wierd...

 

[Puzzicato]

Around here the honorific of choice is "Deeah," and it has no age specificity. "How yah doin', deeah?" "Heah's yah groc'ries, deeah." "You go two blocks down an' bang a left, deeah." Out of staters sometimes get offended and interpret it as condescending, but they don't know what they talkin' 'bout, deeah. You wanna come up heah, you bettah learn to talk our langwidge.

I don't take offence when various people in the North of England and Scotland call me Duck, Hen & Petal, so I think I will survive eventually being called Deeah!

 

[John in Covina]

In others places the waitresses may call you dear or hon / hun short for honey.

 

[JimWagner]

In others places the waitresses may call you dear or hon / hun short for honey.

Waffle House waitresses are notorious for that.

I still can't get my 30 year old son into a Waffle House since a waitress call him "Hon" when he was about 13.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

There's a bit of that here. Not my thing, but I don't mind it. I'm a bit more formal.

Here in Ohio, besides the Ma'am and Miss, it's "honey". Men call women "honey" and women call men and other women "honey". I don't mind it all [huh]

 

[Undertow]

When extending an invitation to dine or travel (man or woman, business or social) I always include the words My Guest My Treat or On Me. We may eventually agree to other arrangements but I was raised to expect to pay when doing the inviting.

Call me crass (no, go ahead) but this is why I stay home. I also adhere to the principle that one should treat their guests when inviting them out, unless you're gathering a large group for some kind of function (but even then...) And because I'm A.) broke and B.) a cheapskate, I just make hot dogs at home by myself.

 

[AmateisGal]

I just make hot dogs at home by myself.

lollollol

And of course, you're getting a lot of writing done since you stay home so much, right?

 

[Pompidou]

Hotdogs (w/ plain yellow mustard) are tied for my favorite food with spaghetti and meatballs. I can't hold staying at home and eating them against anyone.

 

[John in Covina]

I think that some people attach an formal vibe to some of the acts like holding doors open. There are many people that seem to want a very conformist, bland, unisex, one size fits all, grey, utilitarian life in their public interactions and even the best of old fashioned traditions punctures their view on life resulting in mental anguish.

 

[Pompidou]

I think that some people attach an formal vibe to some of the acts like holding doors open. There are many people that seem to want a very conformist, bland, unisex, one size fits all, grey, utilitarian life in their public interactions and even the best of old fashioned traditions punctures their view on life resulting in mental anguish.

That many today would say something similar about the golden era says something about people in general. People in general don't feel secure unless they're reduced to just a sheep in the flock. Each generation changes the color of the wool, but sheep are sheep.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think the big difference is that average people in the era didn't make a desperate fetish of their "nonconformity." People by and large knew they were cogs in the machine and didn't pretend otherwise -- unlike the constant insistence by every identical-looking/identical-thinking individualist today that they're honest and truly their Own Person.

 

[Harp]

In others places the waitresses may call you dear or hon / hun short for honey.

"OK good-looking, take care of that cute face of yours and I'll
see you when you come back, honey." Got that line last week. :coffee:

Hotdogs (w/ plain yellow mustard) are tied for my favorite food... I can't hold staying at home and eating them against anyone.

Ate three for brunch today-couldn't resist.