Hey!... Are you popular?

[LizzieMaine]

I find this strange really. Why possibly would not being a Jenny mean you do not live a full passionate life?

I've never understood this either -- how does one define "passion," anyway? What if your own particular "passion" is for a quiet, orderly, responsible life?

 

[Foofoogal]

Lizzie. My goal in life the older I get is to find peace with as little drama as possible.
Many of the Jennys I have known have drama around them like Pigpen has the little black cloud.
If people have not learned from Springer which may be a magnified look at it I am not sure when one will.

I also don't think there is a man on earth (few anyway) that want their daughters to be Jennys. Even Hefner didn't. Gee, wonder why not?
-----------
Bet noone has ever seen her with a staple in her belly button.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

I find this strange really. Why possibly would not being a Jenny mean you do not live a full passionate life?


Is that boldness Carlisle or not understanding the consequences or thinking there is none? Could also be just fact that the circle of friends are likeminded that do not see the big deal. maybe Jenny in the movie just needed to be born now but I think it is still the same many, many places. Just a fact, not a judgement.

Never said that. I said that "Life is to be lived , as you see fit". It has nothing to do with "parking" so to speak. It has to do with following following your own "heart light ".

Passion and destiny are very personal. I feel a sense of balance, equanimity and self respect yet I do not feel I have repressed any of my dreams, desires or ambitions because society decides I should. Walking your own walk is more than this narrow topic.

 

[Foofoogal]

Walking your own walk is more than this narrow topic.

I definitely do that but with effort to hurt as little people as possible with my choices is all I mean. I think you understand what is implied.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

I think you understand what is implied.

I understand what you think it implies. lol lol

 

[Baron Kurtz]

Many of the Jennys I have known have drama around them like Pigpen has the little black cloud.

I've found that drama is not predictable. Some of the most responsible, straight-down-the-line-est people i know are the ditsyest, drama-surrounded flakes you could possibly imagine. Whatever they touch, wherever they go, there is drama. The kind of people you can point to and say to the film documentary crew: "Follow them; there will be drama". Some people just seem to create it … maybe they thrive on it? No gender or age limits seem to apply.

On the first day of graduate school, i looked around my fellow-student "intake" and predicted who would be having drama. On all but 2, I was correct. We knew that some would get pregnant several times (not really a wise choice in grad school … not if you want to graduate any time soon, anyhow), when it came to handing in theses, we knew who would be involved in last minute drama. They might as well have tattoo'd it on their foreheads, but they would probably make that into some damn drama, too.

bk

 

[Foofoogal]

well Carlisle.

It has nothing to do with "parking" so to speak.

I thought we were discussing parking and Jennys. I guess I lost you somewhere.
You seem to be from what I have gathered a very fun person. I have associated with many, many types of people or at least been aquainted with them.
I have found very few people that I just flat could not stand. Jennys are not included generally in that group.
I think the one thing I cannot tolerate more than anything is an enabler. Especially a appearing weak enabler that is really getting something out of the deal ( one that manipulates but seems so innocent. They come out smelling like a rose with drama and piles of crap for everyone else to clean up behind them) . They are the ones I have 0 tolerance for. I call them Black Widows with their weaving of their webs.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

You did not lose me. I am not going to judge, anyone. [huh] lol

 

[Paisley]

Right...
But, you can't just tell some one to get "enough self respect". Wouldn't it be nice if some one cared enough for Jenny to help with her lack of it, or should they all get what they can from her then fault her for it.
Loneliness can be very powerful.

I've had a front-row seat and a supporting role in many of these dramas. Here is what I have learned.

It's a sticky thing, being friends with someone with low self-respect.

A friend isn't supposed to be a counselor. A counselor has to have objectivity and a knowledge of human nature that Jenny's 16-year-old classmates aren't going to have. Even if they want to help, Jenny herself probably doesn't know what's driving her--and neither do many adults around her.

People want help on their own terms. Jenny's idea of help might be getting a ride to a party her parents don't want her to go to. It might be crying on your shoulder between dates. She might be flattered by an invitation to the Jane Austen book club, but probably won't take you up on it.

There's a very real danger of picking up someone's bad habits when you're their friend--and becoming the dumping ground for all their bad feelings. A friend of mine married two different women who had been abused as children. He wanted to help; they wanted help on their own terms. He ended up with ulcers and two divorces.

In the end, you can treat somebody with respect, but you can't give somebody self-respect. It comes back to the old chestnut about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a light bulb.

 

[HadleyH]

I am not going to judge, anyone.

My feelings exactly Carlisle :eusa_clap


Life is too short.
There are much better, productive, and charitable things to do in life.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

My feelings exactly Carlisle :eusa_clap


Life is too short.
There are much better, productive, and charitable things to do in life.

You are so on the money my dear Hadley.

 

[HadleyH]

You are so on the money my dear Hadley.

lol lol lol

 

[cherry lips]

Maybe I'm not taking the Jenny discussion seriously enough, but from my point of view it's not black or white. You're not a Jenny from the cradle to the casket. I think you can have a limited period in life where you're a Jenny, at an early age, a late age, or somewhere in between. A touch of nymphomania. I'm probably romanticizing it, having seen too many Almodóvar movies lately

 

[cherry lips]

Life is to be lived, as you see fit. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap If I cannot, there is no sense in being alive.

I live by my own standards, I do not expect anyone to live by my standards.

Passion and destiny are very personal. I feel a sense of balance, equanimity and self respect yet I do not feel I have repressed any of my dreams, desires or ambitions because society decides I should. Walking your own walk is more than this narrow topic.

I agree with you, Carlisle Blues. I believe in following your heart (and that different people's hearts point in different directions).
P.S. Please don't label me as new age for saying that, I actually got it from Le Petit Prince (1946)

 

[Foofoogal]

You did not lose me. I am not going to judge, anyone.

this would be nice but not a reality. everyone judges something every day. just different criteria. Judge where to live, who to hang with, what job you take., who you want your kids to hang with. etc.

 

[rumblefish]

I've had a front-row seat and a supporting role in many of these dramas. Here is what I have learned.

It's a sticky thing, being friends with someone with low self-respect.

A friend isn't supposed to be a counselor. A counselor has to have objectivity and a knowledge of human nature that Jenny's 16-year-old classmates aren't going to have. Even if they want to help, Jenny herself probably doesn't know what's driving her--and neither do many adults around her.

People want help on their own terms. Jenny's idea of help might be getting a ride to a party her parents don't want her to go to. It might be crying on your shoulder between dates. She might be flattered by an invitation to the Jane Austen book club, but probably won't take you up on it.

There's a very real danger of picking up someone's bad habits when you're their friend--and becoming the dumping ground for all their bad feelings. A friend of mine married two different women who had been abused as children. He wanted to help; they wanted help on their own terms. He ended up with ulcers and two divorces.

In the end, you can treat somebody with respect, but you can't give somebody self-respect. It comes back to the old chestnut about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a light bulb.

^I agree and understand with what you're saying.

It may have been unusual for a guy, while I was growing, up to keep his "war stories" to himself, but I did. I did, however, get to hear quite a few. While each were being told I couldn't help thinking two things; 1- Why should this be entertaining? We've (my friends and I) all been there done that. But there were always plenty who were hungry for it. Those that may have not been "there" seemed most enthralled,,, so maybe that's why... I should also add, while I'd be dating/seeing a very popular girl, friends' interests in details bordered on demanding. Which only resulted in my disappointing them. Apparently if she's popular it's your obligation to give up some info 2- Why the HELL would you want to talk about some one like that, especially some one you were/are intimate with? For Pete's sake, they're human beings, a friend, some one's sister... Loyalty, for me, goes much further then sharing the tales of romantic conquests.

Now take the bozos sitting around the table- all way beyond reproach, "Nothing like being Miss Popularity". Who the hell is that creep to judge? A comment like that leads me to think he really doesn't know what it's all about, and he probably hasn't seen much "action" himself, (maybe a sort of sour grapes) or he, like the others, has parked with Jenny, and in that case his comment is even more repugnant and it speaks volumes about him. I think it's also the way he said it that makes me want to find a time machine so I can go back and wring his neck.:rage: These were actors right?

All this over a clip warning of the dangers of seeking popularity in what should be perceived as the wrong [?] way. Sometimes things just strike a chord with me I am really a nice person

 

[Big Man]

Big Question ...

Are the thoughts/actions portrayed in the film clip reality for 1947, or are they what the producers/sponsors of the film want reality to be (if that makes any sense) ?

When I was in my teens (I'm 54 now), I often recall my parents (and other adults) saying, "we didn't do things like that when we were your age". However, in reality, they most certainly did some of those same things (as is often discovered many, many years later). I've even heard people from my own generation say the same thing, and have wanted so bad to speak up and say "hey, you were doing those things - because I was with you when you did".

To a degree, the "older generation" always has a way of projecting a rose-colored morality upon the "younger generation" - no matter what the time.

Just my thoughts ...

 

[PSK123]

Are the thoughts/actions portrayed in the film clip reality for 1947, or are they what the producers/sponsors of the film want reality to be (if that makes any sense) ?

When I was in my teens (I'm 54 now), I often recall my parents (and other adults) saying, "we didn't do things like that when we were your age". However, in reality, they most certainly did some of those same things (as is often discovered many, many years later). I've even heard people from my own generation say the same thing, and have wanted so bad to speak up and say "hey, you were doing those things - because I was with you when you did".

To a degree, the "older generation" always has a way of projecting a rose-colored morality upon the "younger generation" - no matter what the time.

Just my thoughts ...

Now that has to be one of the finest posts I've read on here. I don't think it could be any more true to reality!

 

[Baron Kurtz]

You're absolutely right, Big Man. I believe it's commonly known as teenage exploration. (i.e. learning to be an adult)

Perhaps part of the reason for the problems often complained of here - extension of "youth" behaviour, and reliance upon the "nest", well beyond leaving high school - is the ridiculous infantalisation and cotton-wooling of children/young adults by overbearing doctrinaire parents and school systems.

bk

 

[Paisley]

^I agree and understand with what you're saying.

It may have been unusual for a guy, while I was growing, up to keep his "war stories" to himself, but I did. I did, however, get to hear quite a few. While each were being told I couldn't help thinking two things; 1- Why should this be entertaining? We've (my friends and I) all been there done that. But there were always plenty who were hungry for it. Those that may have not been "there" seemed most enthralled,,, so maybe that's why... I should also add, while I'd be dating/seeing a very popular girl, friends' interests in details bordered on demanding. Which only resulted in my disappointing them. Apparently if she's popular it's your obligation to give up some info 2- Why the HELL would you want to talk about some one like that, especially some one you were/are intimate with? For Pete's sake, they're human beings, a friend, some one's sister... Loyalty, for me, goes much further then sharing the tales of romantic conquests.

Now take the bozos sitting around the table- all way beyond reproach, "Nothing like being Miss Popularity". Who the hell is that creep to judge? A comment like that leads me to think he really doesn't know what it's all about, and he probably hasn't seen much "action" himself, (maybe a sort of sour grapes) or he, like the others, has parked with Jenny, and in that case his comment is even more repugnant and it speaks volumes about him. I think it's also the way he said it that makes me want to find a time machine so I can go back and wring his neck.:rage: These were actors right?

All this over a clip warning of the dangers of seeking popularity in what should be perceived as the wrong [?] way. Sometimes things just strike a chord with me I am really a nice person

Yes, discretion is a good thing for a variety of reasons.

Too much curiosity can be unseemly.

The makers of this movie had the difficult job of showing that parking with all the boys isn't a good way for a girl to be popular without making the boys seem like total jerks. (Where I went to school, the things some of the boys said about easy girls is absolutely unprintable here.)