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Had anyone ever been tempted to stop hat wearing?

McFarlaneNYC

Familiar Face
Messages
57
Location
NYC
David Conwill said:
I suspect a big part of the problem is your age: it doesn't quite look right for very young men (dare I say "boys"?) to wear what's traditionally been considered the clothing of grown men. The youth complex of western culture has gone so far that even supposedly grown men don't feel comfortable dressing that way!

Anyway, the point is that people pick up on the contradiction of a youth wearing a man's hat, and friction results because they suspect it's an affected look (though it very well may not be). My advice is to switch to cloth caps (still a youth-associated item, hence the term "newsboy cap") until you reach the age of 25 or so, and I think you'll find people far more accepting of the look.

-Dave

its seems the fedoras association as a mens hat happened in the 1950's in the US. I have been looking at 40's pictures of highs chool students from the Life Archive and they seem to all wear fedoras, then in the 50's there is a shift.
I usually go hatless, baseball, or soft caps being so that they will destroy my hair once I have combed it.
the same goes for ties, which is another shame.
I don't know about you Allen, but over here at my school, other students only wear jeans, wild hair, sneakers, and assorted Ambercrombie clothing lines. :eusa_doh:

Charlie
 

David Conwill

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,854
Location
Bennington, VT 05201
You know, I've looked at a lot of pictures from the '20s, '30s, and '40s, and I can't think of any examples of high schoolers in that era wearing anything other than soft caps - with the possible exception of a few beaten up hand-me-downs worn tongue in cheek. Got pics to share?

-Dave
 

Widebrim

I'll Lock Up
Many good points and suggestions so far. It's true that your age likely has something to do with it, as well as the type of fedoras that you wear (particularly brim width). In addition, the type of clothing that you are wearing in conjunction with your hat plays a part (as you have touched upon).

This all reminds me of a good friend with whom I've had to advise on this same topic. He likes to wear fedoras (medium and stingy brims) with suits and "shades," and then wonders why people stare and make comments. I've repeatedly told him that if he is going to wear a suit and fedora, then the sunglasses have to go, since they make him look like he is either hiding something and/or trying to affect a certain artificial look. I have also advised him to normally not wear a hat with a suit, unless it is rainy or very cold, because that in itself is going over the top in most people's eyes. If he wishes to wear a fedora, I've told him, then he should do so with more casual clothing, and then he won't stick out so (especially here in L.A.). In addition to all of this (and related to your field trip), I have said to keep in mind where he is going and to what type of activity he is going to be engaged in. If I, for example, were going to substitute at the local high school, I would not show up in suit and hat; it just would not fit in, and would open me up for looks and comments galore.

While it's true that you should be able to wear what you wish, it is also a fact (as you are noticing) that some people will judge you based on the above. Should you care what they think? Well, in some cases, yes, because these are the people with whom you spend your academic, recreational, spiritual, (future) professional time with. Should you completely change your style because of others? Of course not, but you should be willing to sometimes alter your dress in order to accomodate particular people or activities.

However you dress, if you do so with taste and confidence, many stares will turn into looks of admiration, and many snide comments will turn into compliments. Believe me, I have witnessed it myself. ;)

Lee
 

McFarlaneNYC

Familiar Face
Messages
57
Location
NYC
David Conwill said:
You know, I've looked at a lot of pictures from the '20s, '30s, and '40s, and I can't think of any examples of high schoolers in that era wearing anything other than soft caps - with the possible exception of a few beaten up hand-me-downs worn tongue in cheek. Got pics to share?

-Dave
here is one:
6ea512dbcd22ff33_large.jpg


I really thought I had more, but the closer I looked the more I found my error.
I feel rather stupid.
but here are some other pictures of High school/ college students in Both Britain and the United States, that might help you Alen:
1f52b2fba58906c1_large.jpg

(Mid 40's- England)
0f102dca39973826_large.jpg

(1945- CA)

d63571d65439b5ca_large.jpg

(40's or 50's- Central park)

Charlie
 

skyvue

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,221
Location
New York City
My advice? Stop worrying about comments from others, and wear what you like. People will respect you when you respect yourself (and those few who don't should be ignored, if not avoided altogether).

Some people always find something to mock or complain about. You can be restricted and hirdered by their judgmental, close-minded attitudes, or you can live your life your way. You're not hurting anyone in any way, so it's no one's business what you wear.

And with no offense intended to the one who offered the advice, nothing looks better with a suit than a fedora, so why in the world should you not wear both?

My situation is admittedly different, as I'm 51 years old, but I spend a lot of time around much younger people, as I work at a university and I'm married to a 28-year-old, but since I finally started fully indulging my taste for vintage suits, trousers, sports coats, ties, fedoras, and even a pencil mustache (I used to just wear vintage sports shirts, except when I dressed up, which was rare), I get so many compliments on my appearance, from young and old alike. I've never felt more confident and, for want of a better word, appreciated.

And my wife loves my look.

So I say wear what you'd wear in a perfect world, and don't let the clowns get you down.

(I do see the point raised above about matters of employment and professional concerns, but that's not what you asked about. And you can always dress "normal" while interviewing and then release the "real" you after being hired.)
 

CliffG

One of the Regulars
Messages
118
Location
Kansas USA
Well where do I start...first off let's ask one simple question, do you like wearing your great coat and hat?
If you do than wear them.
When I grew up my dad wore a hat, most men I knew wore a hat of some sort, but the kids at school did not, I know you are thinking fedora hat or flat cap or something like that, but I wore a western hat or cowboy hat how ever you want to call it, I was wearing the clothing, hat and boots that I wanted, and not one person walking on this earth was man or woman enough to make me change what I wanted to wear. I would walk into the school house in the morning and I would take my hat off the minute I entered the door out of respect (taught to me by my dad) while any of the other kids would wear their ball caps all the way to their lockers, if I decided I would do the same you could bet a silver dollar that one of the teachers would demand I remove my hat. Who cares? I know I take my hat off when it is required, I have manners, I may have been born in a barn, but that does not mean I am not capable of learning manners and respect!
Now lets look at present day, I am not a kid, I am not one who will step in line and blindly do what the masses or powers that be (advertisers) say or what the advertisers say I should do, buy, drink, eat, or what the hell ever.
(oh don't even get me started about the *#$%&$@! creaps that put photo shopped pictures of unreal women on the front of every %$^&@##$% magazine at the check out just to make people feel bad about who they are!!!!!!!) I am a strong individual, (you are also) I have never steeped away from what I wanted nor will I ever step away from my values.
Things may be different now than when I was your age, I have kids out on their own and some still in high school, I know the pressures are there, different than when I was a kiddo, but still pressures, but I can say that when you move from the world of youth to the world of real life what you are learning now by being an individual or being what you want will be valued tools as you go out on your own. I have a son who took a bunch of crud from his school mates about music lessons, but now he makes a good living playing the keyboard. I am happy to hear you are taking piano lessons!
I may be loosing the train of thought here but to try and bring it back on line, I think you honestly need to make the decision yourself...a binary answer...yes/no do you like wearing your hat and coat.

yes

no

you like?
yes?
so?...be you and wear your hat and coat, or what ever you feel like.
I hire people to work at the company I work for, and I seek out individuals, not crowd followers or lemmings, I want people who will think, will do what is right, and who know who they are, not who the TV or some filthy magazine says they should be, but real honest people. These people are loyal, and I am loyal to them.
You are building this foundation now, you are asking people who are your peers what should you do, you are spot on my friend.
Be your self.
Hell it is not like you are doing crack and your mom wants you to go clean!
Honestly my friend, and this comes from some one in your place decades ago when fighting and skinned knuckles were the results of wearing what I wanted to wear, be yourself what ever that is.
now that I think about it people may judge me by what I wear, but those people have no impact on my life, or my family so they all can go straight to IHOP and have some pancakes for all I care.
I would be proud as hell to call you a friend.
Cliff
 

Marc Chevalier

Gone Home
Messages
18,192
Location
Los Feliz, Los Angeles, California
.



Very wise words! :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap


Widebrim said:
Many good points and suggestions so far. It's true that your age likely has something to do with it, as well as the type of fedoras that you wear (particularly brim width). In addition, the type of clothing that you are wearing in conjunction with your hat plays a part (as you have touched upon).

This all reminds me of a good friend with whom I've had to advise on this same topic. He likes to wear fedoras (medium and stingy brims) with suits and "shades," and then wonders why people stare and make comments. I've repeatedly told him that if he is going to wear a suit and fedora, then the sunglasses have to go, since they make him look like he is either hiding something and/or trying to affect a certain artificial look. I have also advised him to normally not wear a hat with a suit, unless it is rainy or very cold, because that in itself is going over the top in most people's eyes. If he wishes to wear a fedora, I've told him, then he should do so with more casual clothing, and then he won't stick out so (especially here in L.A.). In addition to all of this (and related to your field trip), I have said to keep in mind where he is going and to what type of activity he is going to be engaged in. If I, for example, were going to substitute at the local high school, I would not show up in suit and hat; it just would not fit in, and would open me up for looks and comments galore.

While it's true that you should be able to wear what you wish, it is also a fact (as you are noticing) that some people will judge you based on the above. Should you care what they think? Well, in some cases, yes, because these are the people with whom you spend your academic, recreational, spiritual, (future) professional time with. Should you completely change your style because of others? Of course not, but you should be willing to sometimes alter your dress in order to accomodate particular people or activities.

However you dress, if you do so with taste and confidence, many stares will turn into looks of admiration, and many snide comments will turn into compliments. Believe me, I have witnessed it myself. ;)

Lee
 

SGT Rocket

Practically Family
Messages
600
Location
Twin Cities, Minn
Hat

Mr. Avedwards,

It sounds like you are smart and creative, and wearing a hat is an outward expression of that. I was in high school from 1982 to 1986. My grandfather wore Stetsons until the day he died. He always had, I think it was called, an Open Road (it looks kind of like LBJ's hat); and he wore fedoras. He was an amazing man and I looked up to him and wanted to emulate him.

Unfortunately, raiders of the lost ark came out in 1981.
There was no way in heck I was going to wear a fedora my freshman year of high school after that movie came out. But, I really wanted too. I wanted to emulate my grandfather not the movie.

I've kind of regretted that ever since. I was always a little on the edge with music, books, movies, etc... in high school, so looking back, it would have been great to wear a fedora. It would have matched with my style (punk before all the chains and Mohawks, more Dead Kennedys than the Clash, yet with some retro thrown in, little New Romantic when going out to eat with the parents).

Don't follow the crowed, be the leader. If your friends are giving you gruff about your hat, play it off in a joking manner. If they are earnest about you not wearing a hat, they probably have some other issue with themselves and not with you. And, it may mean you don't have much in common with them after all.

Look, you don't become successful OR happy by following the crowed. Did Bill Gates get to where he is today by following the crowed? Did the Wright brothers? Did Winston Churchill? Did Ferris Bueller follow the crowd? No way man! He got the day off, got the girl, and saved his best friends life. How cool is that? Way cool!

If you get into the habit of following the crowd, you must always look out for what the crowd is doing to "feel complete" or "be whole" or "get peer approval" or whatever psychobabble word they have today for letting other people dictate to you what will make you happy instead of looking inside yourself for what will really make you happy.

I think your friends will have more respect for you if you wear your hat no matter what they say. They may say "wow, he is really into that hat." But what they are thinking may be:"Should I buy a hat now too?" or "he really sticks to his beliefs in the face of adversity" or "all the girls are looking at him in that hat instead of me" or "does his hat make my butt look big." Well, you get the idea.

Don't worry about people looking at you funny. I have some good orthodox Jewish friends. Yes, they are "black hats." We will go eat a kosher restaurants, bagel shops, and even the kosher Starbucks (which non-Jews think is just another Starbucks), and we get some looks. But it doesn't bother them or me. We all know who we are (I'm not black hat, only a little modern orthodox) and we are good with it. Hard to explain, but I hope this helps. :D
 

Lokar

A-List Customer
Messages
383
Location
Nowhere
skyvue said:
And with no offense intended to the one who offered the advice, nothing looks better with a suit than a fedora, so why in the world should you not wear both?

I agree with this - the only time I wear brimmed felt hats are with suits. It feels incredibly wrong for me to wear a felt hat with jeans and a t-shirt or similar casual attire.
 

Carlisle Blues

My Mail is Forwarded Here
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3,154
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Beautiful Horse Country
Marc Chevalier said:
Yep, and it's a gut feeling for me. I don't begrudge the men who do it, though. If it makes them happy, then great!

.

I love the look....it works for me and I find it pleasing on others. When necessary I wear a fedora with a suit etc etc.
 

Rundquist

A-List Customer
Messages
431
Wanting to walk the streets un-harassed aside, I changed my mind. You should wear your hat (if you like wearing it, and it sounds like you do), simply to be a social irritant. The average man on the street needs to get over his preconceived ideas and prejudices. It’s a good exercise in general.
 

Carlisle Blues

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,154
Location
Beautiful Horse Country
Rundquist said:
The average man on the street needs to get over his preconceived ideas and prejudices. It’s a good exercise in general.

I can honestly say I have never gotten anything but compliments, by men and women. I am sure there are those who do not like fedoras, but, I have never heard a word.

In fact, I was at a men's dinner last week and I was told once again that I not only have the coolest hats, but, I am the most stylish dresser in town..Now I realize it is a small town, nonetheless, people do appreciate the personal style of another IMHO......:)

Another issue is whether the hat is wearing me or I am wearing the hat. If I am uncomfortable it will come through like spilled red wine on white linen tablecloth.
 

Lokar

A-List Customer
Messages
383
Location
Nowhere
It might be classic, but I don't think it's particularly good looking. Especially on me, but I spent my teenage years dressing incredibly scruffily and got thoroughly fed up with it - it's what led me into suits & hats.
 

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