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Had anyone ever been tempted to stop hat wearing?

Selvaggio

One of the Regulars
Messages
136
Location
Sydney
AV - I say, you're young, wear what ever you want before conventionality exerts its pull. Just remember to take lots of photos, otherwise when you get to be a middle fogey like me and you tell people that you used to wear your hair short back'n-sides with a foot long fringe dyed blueberry, they just don't believe you.
 

metropd

One Too Many
Messages
1,764
Location
North America
HarpPlayerGene said:
I've never had to use it but I'm ready with this one (wouldn't work outside of the U.S. though):

"So who put that outfit together for you; FEMA?"

:D

ROFL, I may have to use that one day.
 

The Mick

New in Town
Messages
21
Location
North Carolina
The day I never have to go outside again I'll stop wearing hats.

I only have a few different hats a leather western for Colorado winters (Though I have now moved). A mesh wide brim for summer sun and heat and a Stetson Versailles for spring and fall. A baseball cap for just having a cap on all other times. I'm a man of function not fashion and don't feel right until I have a hat on outside.
 
Messages
10,883
Location
Portage, Wis.
Mr. Alan, I completely know where you're coming from here. I have a variety of vintage jackets, hats, clothes that I have been talked out of wearing by friends and moreso family. I am a man of compromise and wear jeans over slacks and work boots over dress shoes most of the time. I will not wear a t-shirt, I beleive that they are undergarments and a collared, button-up shirt is to go over them.

I get harassment about my hats from my father in particular that they are for old men. I bought a houndstooth stingy brimmed hat the other day I'm rather happy with, and it's kinda trendy but bears a classic look with the reswt of my attire. But even without the hat, I get harassment about my hair from my mother, I wear it with brylcreem, slicked, with a small pomp and a side part. And some people don't give up, I am 19 now and have had that haircut since I was 10, but I digress...don't worry, I ramble but am going somewhere with this.

Bottom line is, you can try to compromise if it doesn't change what makes you happy.

If you don't want to compromise, then don't. You shouldn't have to. Do you ask anybody to dress differently because you feel that your golden-era attire is more acceptable and you think everyone should dress that way? I'm sure you do not, so they should give you the same respect. I hope that you don't give up what you love.
 

Dr Doran

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,854
Location
Los Angeles
After reading this entire thread, it is two statements in your first post that I feel are the problems, to wit:

avedwards said:
After all, witty comments aren't the right thing for friends and ignoring everyone is stupid as we dress nicely to look nice to others.

I would say first: yes, witty comments are the right thing for friends: say something snide, but friendly and confident, back to them when they say obnoxious nonsense about your style. They aren't good friends if they want to dampen your look anyway. I know a guy (former best friend of mine) who, I am convinced, literally spent hours every morning thinking up insults to use on people. Now, obviously this guy was going too far, but (a milder version of) his example may be useful for you: you can pre-empt proactively (in Ancient Greek, which I seem to recall you mentioning you study, the word is prokatalambano) any stupid comments by having a zinger ready to toss out and make the commenter feel like a schmuck.

Secondly: we dress both to look nice to others and to look nice when we glance in the mirror. Both. So, keep that in mind. Even if wearing all purple truly appeals to you, what the heck ... do it. You only live once.

having said that, though, if all these things are truly causing distress with e.g. your relationship with your mother, then maybe temporarily tone things down for a few months until Mom says "what happened to those fedoras you used to wear ... I liked them."

I will never forget my first mohawk. It was bleached blond. My parents naturally thought it was hideous. Then, about 8 months later, my mother said "it's beautiful. It looks like the rays of the sun."
 

avedwards

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,425
Location
London and Midlands, UK
Doran said:
I would say first: yes, witty comments are the right thing for friends: say something snide, but friendly and confident, back to them when they say obnoxious nonsense about your style. They aren't good friends if they want to dampen your look anyway. I know a guy (former best friend of mine) who, I am convinced, literally spent hours every morning thinking up insults to use on people. Now, obviously this guy was going too far, but (a milder version of) his example may be useful for you: you can pre-empt proactively (in Ancient Greek, which I seem to recall you mentioning you study, the word is prokatalambano) any stupid comments by having a zinger ready to toss out and make the commenter feel like a schmuck.

Secondly: we dress both to look nice to others and to look nice when we glance in the mirror. Both. So, keep that in mind. Even if wearing all purple truly appeals to you, what the heck ... do it. You only live once.

having said that, though, if all these things are truly causing distress with e.g. your relationship with your mother, then maybe temporarily tone things down for a few months until Mom says "what happened to those fedoras you used to wear ... I liked them."

I will never forget my first mohawk. It was bleached blond. My parents naturally thought it was hideous. Then, about 8 months later, my mother said "it's beautiful. It looks like the rays of the sun."
With witty comments I meant comments which question the intelligence of the person to insult you. For example, if a friend says "Inspector Gadget" (which they have all learned not to by now) I won't say something to make them look like an idiot, which I may do if a stranger say that. However, wit can be of great use.

As for my mother, she was brought up in Argentina (with German parents) where hats were seldom worn. Hat wearing is abnormal for her, hence she doesn't see why I do it. My father on the other hand, being brought up in England sees hats as a perfectly normal and functional accessory, though he's more used to flat caps than fedoras as these were more common in the UK. My hats have never been a point of distress, the only time they have been used as a point of argument was when there were other issues going on and they were just the spark (I can elaborate via PM).

I do wear what I like, however sometimes I compromise by wearing jeans (like Atomiceratom suggests above). I very rarely compromise by skipping my hat. The last time I did was when I was in London in the summer as it was non-negotiable. However it's rare that I do that. I compromise sometimes when out with friends by wearing more modern looking shirts (loud stripes with cutaway collars) and putting on jeans, making the fedora appear to be a modern fashion accessory rather than a classically styled hat. However, most of my friends have learned to accept my suit, my hat and my trenchcoat. The only times I skip them are when it's inappropriate (for example going to areas where rowdy youths live).
 

Maguire

Practically Family
Messages
619
Location
New York
I know exactly how you feel on this issue- i wore hats throughout high school but then stopped of the first three years of college, although every so often i may put one on. Now (especially in the winter) i always wear a hat, but i am uncomfortable with the comments and i'm not really trying to affect a look, or stick out and i hate the fact that it does. Sometimes i consider just not wearing it, and i find myself removing it as soon as i'm in a crowded area or enter any building (i know this is normal practice but not when one enters a store just to buy something or get fast food). I do feel it sticks out but i figure i'll stick to it as best as i can, eventually people will come around. I dread bringing it with me to Ireland though, where i know locals stare at even minor things and may just leave it home and go for my flatcap but i haven't decided yet. Stick with it is all i can advise, it we have enough hatless folk out there, can't afford to lose one of the few who sticks to his guns.
 

Matt Deckard

Man of Action
Messages
10,045
Location
A devout capitalist in Los Angeles CA.
I sorta grew into my hats wearing them in High school as well.

Fedoras mainly, as I shunned caps and was going for a certain look. I was young and always shocked by the price of New fur felts and had a few vintage hats that were on the cheep. My father thought they made me look like a rube and my mother didn't mind. As I got older women I dated tended to want me to leave the hats behind as they stood out too much on a date (I guess i looked like the retro guy).

They suit me a lot more today since I don't fuss or care as much when it's on my head. Yet the one thing that keeps me from wearing them as much as I used to do is the fact that they are soo bloody hot to wear in California.

the main reason i leave one at home during the day is because I end up boiling over in the sun when one is on my head and I am walking the streets.

Even when I was in New York during a cold snap when my ears were freezing, my scalp would be soaking from all the walking.

I love wearing them. I love how they look. But felt hats are hot!
 

scottyrocks

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,178
Location
Isle of Langerhan, NY
I think this has a lot to do with the age of the wearer. I think that as I get older, I care less and less about what people think about stuff thats really none of their business, like, fer instance, what kind of hat I wear.
 

avedwards

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,425
Location
London and Midlands, UK
Matt Deckard said:
I sorta grew into my hats wearing them in High school as well.

Fedoras mainly, as I shunned caps and was going for a certain look. I was young and always shocked by the price of New fur felts and had a few vintage hats that were on the cheep. My father thought they made me look like a rube and my mother didn't mind. As I got older women I dated tended to want me to leave the hats behind as they stood out too much on a date (I guess i looked like the retro guy).

They suit me a lot more today since I don't fuss or care as much when it's on my head. Yet the one thing that keeps me from wearing them as much as I used to do is the fact that they are soo bloody hot to wear in California.

the main reason i leave one at home during the day is because I end up boiling over in the sun when one is on my head and I am walking the streets.

Even when I was in New York during a cold snap when my ears were freezing, my scalp would be soaking from all the walking.

I love wearing them. I love how they look. But felt hats are hot!
That's one reason I like Britain. It's a lot more temperate, so even in summer I was able to wear a fur felt all the time, with only some discomfort for about a month or so. Over here, it's traditional to wear black dinner jackets all year round for that reason.
 

Maguire

Practically Family
Messages
619
Location
New York
avedwards said:
That's one reason I like Britain. It's a lot more temperate, so even in summer I was able to wear a fur felt all the time, with only some discomfort for about a month or so. Over here, it's traditional to wear black dinner jackets all year round for that reason.
I agree, that NYC cycle of unpredictable winters (that are freezing one week and 60 the next) and then sweltering hot summers are intolerable, thats another reason i'm looking forward to moving to ireland where people are complaining of the summer heat when its a breezy 70 degrees and i'm still wearing a sweater.
 

Big_e

Practically Family
Messages
654
Location
Dallas, Tx
It's kinda funny but as I travel around Texas I notice that my city, Dallas is the one city where lots of people lean away from wearing hats! Unless it's a dewrag or those ballcaps with the bill sewn on backwards:) very few people wear hats.
I wear my western Stetsons in the summer time and started wearing my Hooligan (cap in my avatar) in the cooler weather. I'm getting minor negative remarks but most people encourage me. I get most positive feedback from the ladies and thats really all that matters!:D
Ernest
 

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