Formalizing/Small Pleasures?

[Foofoogal]

There is so many different types of folks on the FL but I was wondering if anyone else is trying to formalize their life more lately?
With the display case thread of old flatware I got interested in wanting to ask.
Many people according to the news are restructuring their lives for many reasons.
I find it personally gratifying lately to treating myself in small ways.
Setting a nice table or using a nice teacup and saucer to have a cup of tea or nice vintage glasses to drink out of?
Maybe some have never done this or care to do this but some may.
Since eating out may be less lately it is nice to do this.
I have decided to use some of the nicer stuff I have for this instead of same every day dishes. What is the point of having stuff sit in the china cabinet. [huh]
A nice tablecloth and napkins can make one feel better. I am really wondering if this is part of the reason it was so widespread or normal back then? Every lady embroidered or sewed a nice tablecloth and apron. etc.
Have you done this more lately or maybe want to start?
This year for me has been unsettling and I take comfort in doing this lately.

 

[Ethan Bentley]

This a really interesting point and I think I know what you mean the little things, small touches in detail.

In reminds me of today when I was sat on a bus there was a girl, about nine or ten, who was sat opposite, with her mum and her boyfriend. The girl made a comment that she loved the fact that her mum was doing a lot more cooking at home now and they were having a lot less takeaways, less than we did with when you were going out with your last boyfriend. The girls used both the guy's names rather than "boyfriend".

Anyway, it made me smile and think good for the girl, good for her mum and good for the family. A little change but it made a difference to the girl.

For me, it's things like; plenty of ice, some nice coffee and sitting down to the World Service.

Relaxing and one of the beauties of life.

Thanks for this post, I feel very peaceful just writing about it.

 

[Brooksie]

For this past year I lived on my own in a studio apartment. I did not even have a kitchen table so I would spread a table cloth on the floor (good thing I can still sit Indian style even though I am 40) and have a picnic by myself while listening to 30's and 40's jazz (this was at dinner time). Over half of that year I was unemployed so I did not eat out, I cooked meals at home. I would put on one of my vintage aprons and whip something up. I always used a cloth napkin nothing fancy though but they were antique. None of my silverware matched just odds and ends that I got from goodwill and my favorite drinking glass was a recycled glass ball jar. I do not have any fancy plate or dish wear but thats ok I have some nice dish wear that a friend passed along to me. For breakfast and lunch I would sit on my ottoman and eat. I loved doing those things and living simplisticly.

Now I am living in a house with a housemate so no picnics on the floor because there is a table. We use place mats and cloth napkins and rustic dishwear. I will still put on my apron and my house mate likes to get a bunch of flowers from the yard to put in a vase for the center of the table.

Brooksie

 

[Foofoogal]

I guess only 3 of us like small pleasures. lol

 

[Brian Sheridan]

Many on here (myself included) might save shaving. Many days, I do a quick once over with an electric razor and I am out the door. When I have time, like on weekends, I take the time to go through the steps of a shave with the oil, brush, soap, safety razor. I like the feel of the wooded soap dish and the smell of the soap. I tak my time and just enjoy it.

 

[LocktownDog]

Living as a bachelor now, I am finding it far easier to simplify my life than before. But to formalize? Bah! I'd rather be digging in the garden than polishing the fancy silverware.

 

[AmateisGal]

I enjoy the small pleasures - a cup of tea using my mother's china, sitting in my living room, listening to Frank Sinatra or big band music, is extremely relaxing for me.

I don't have cable or get any t.v. channels, so that eliminates a lot of the "noise" in my house. My daughter has a t.v. and DVD player in her room, though. But today, she played outside on the deck all day long with her toys. Left her video games and DVDs alone. I'm hoping my simpler lifestyle is having an affect on her!

We also enjoy going down to the duck pond which is right across the street from us and feeding the ducks and geese. Another small pleasure which is very gratifying.

I don't do a lot of formalizing, though I am planning to host a "tea party" for my friends in the future. I plan to embroider some nice napkins to use at it, as well.

 

[Bunny]

I am in love with this thread! I am all for simplifying life with small pleasures!

My current favorite pleasure is making a simple, but delicious meat and potatoes dinner (like Grandma used to make!) on a weeknight for my boyfriend and I. I play Sinatra, wear a vintage apron drink a glass of wine while I cook and set the table with the best dishes I've got, tablecloth, the whole nine yards. He loves it and I take so much pleasure in it!

I am also a fan of curling up on my couch with good book and a cup of tea or coffee.

Or just going for a walk or a bike ride.

All of these things make me very happy! (This is what the world is missing I think, we're all much too busy!)

 

["Skeet" McD]

I don't want to seem to nit-pick...but there are many things that my wife and I do that I don't think of as "formal" or "formalizing"...but seem to be what is being talked about here. I'm a reverse-sex 50's housewife, if you will: my wife teaches at a university...and I am a househusband. It's my job--and one I LOVE--to make sure that there's a hot meal waiting for her when she gets home.

We always dine by candlelight...always have. There is always gentle music playing in the background...usually related, in some way, to what's being served. We always have cloth napkins, and yes: they are ironed. We always have wine with our supper. We always say grace before meals. Our evening meals last at least an hour, and usually more...because we talk while we eat (of course, it should be acknowledged that, having no children, we can afford to do so).

I'm not sure many people in the past would have thought of this style of dining as terribly...formal. Neither do we. But (here's the Catholic in me, again!): married life has two sacraments, one of which takes place in the dining room. We try to give our shared life the respect and honor it deserves.

It doesn't take a great deal to do this...IF you are not a parent. But...if you can expose your children to treat mealtimes as...well, indeed: a sacrament of your connectedness...it may not be easy...but you will have passed on something to the next generation that I'm not sure many of us received.

Just one man's opinion, as always
"Skeet"

 

[Lillemor]

It's the opposite situation here of the question asked. I had ideals and "romantic" ideas when I was younger. Then kids came along and two of them are mentally disabled. While we love them and they bring many joys they also require more attention and special needs than other kids so now I just want things to FUNCTION on a daily basis.

A sense of family time and a cozy mood is created with simple color themes at the dining table with table cloth, napkins and candles so you get a clear sense of a defined dining area in our open kitchen/livingroom/hallway area. Occassionally flowers from the garden are set in vases/pitchers/glasses and I don't mind if the boys have really picked weed flowers which is usually the case.lol We very rarely buy flowers.

Things don't have to match perfectly, there's nothing here of monetary or historical value. I seem to have succeeded in breaking nearly everything that was of any value. What I haven't broken, I've sensibly put away.

We have some plates one of my husband's grandmother's hand painted, and some things for table setting that she crochetted. That's as vintage as it gets here.

Simple things like walks, hikes, bike rides, and drives into the countryside that surround us or to the woods is what brings me the most pleasure. I don't need anything flashy. I'm not impressed by people who live a more glamorous or elegant lifestyle than me. I am however very envious of anyone living a more idyllic, cozy, rural existence than me especially if they have more control of how they spend their time.

 

[Foofoogal]

Lillemor. You do sound like you have your plate full. That is why a simple thing like a fresh smelling bar of soap can add to your day. Treat yourself. You deserve it. The whole point of this thread is that each person takes pleasure in different small things in life.
To a child playing in the mud is great pleasure. lol
I am reminded of how eons ago women on wagon trains would have maybe one single thing that was a great treasure to them and brought much pleasure.
Have you ever read this story?
THE GIFT OF THE MAGI
by O. Henry
I have always found it to be my favorite ones. I have had many lessons in life about true wealth. Believe me.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

I think perhaps formalizing is the wrong word for this.

I would prefer calling them rituals...or something...formal implies that it has to be a more upscale thing.

I have a ritual of having evening tea. Its not fancy, but I do also stop doing everything else and just sit and have my tea and a cookie if i have them. Its the -doing-...not the formal or non formalness of the thing.

I could sit and have my tea in a tazmanian devil mug (and I do sometimes)...and use a paper towel....because its about the time spent just for me...not what i use to facilitate that time.

 

[Foofoogal]

I think I was suggesting both forms.

using something nice as well as validating an action.

I drink a cup of coffee and usually have a snack of some kind about 3:00 every day. I use a formal cup and saucer but also have formalized the act.
b. To give formal standing or endorsement to; make official or legitimate by the observance of proper procedure.

To the point of if it is 3:00 no matter where I am I suddenly want my coffee. I see it as a pleasure that is personally mine.

 

[Bunny]

Yes, Rituals. I agree Miss Neecerie. Very well put I think!

 

[Tomasso]

But to formalize? Bah! I'd rather be digging in the garden than polishing the fancy silverware.

Silverware doesn't require polishing if used daily.

 

[miss_elise]

They suggest eating at a table with good cutlery as a cheap alternative to a restaurant...

Cheap thrills a la carte
Matt Preston
May 16, 2009

The Age columnist and MasterChef judge Matt Preston.

Dine in style at home to beat the recession, advises columnist Matt Preston.

One of my favourite stories from that last big recession back in the early '90s was how the McDonald's near Wall Street employed a swish-looking doorman, installed a baby grand piano (and someone to play it) and a chandelier. They then sat back and watched as the local brokers and bankers deserted their usual swank spots for a reassuring dose of saturated fat, sugars and calories, but complete with familiar trimmings.

Now it's official those happy days are here again, I think that is a valuable lesson. If you can no longer afford to feast in the best restaurants, then let's learn from them and follow these tips for creating a dining-out experience at home.

Put a white cloth on your dining table - even at family meals. Make everyone eat together at least once a week. Combined with the tablecloth, the fact that this is such a rarity will give your meals a sense of occasion no matter how simple the food.

Always ask your family if they "have a reservation" before you allow them to sit down. If they don't, ask them to wait to see if you can fit them in - despite the fact that there are empty seats still at the table. If they do claim to have booked, keep them waiting while you try to remember if they tipped the last time they were here. Then seat them accordingly close to the toilet or in the carver at the end of the table with the best garden views.

Make your children take it in turns to wear black trousers, a white shirt and an apron, and then keep filling up everyone's water glass and offering more bread. If anyone refuses the bread they must immediately whip away the side plate and never offer bread again. They should also disappear before the end of the meal so you can't ask them for the bill. (Yes, you'll make the housekeeping go so much further if you charge your family for meals - just don't expect them to be good tippers.)

Insist on good manners. Use cutlery, but no eating off your knife. No leaving the table before everyone is finished. No jabbing brothers in the back of the thigh with forks - or even waving your cutlery around when speaking. No leaving your cutlery akimbo on the plate when you are finished - that means knife and fork together with the blade of the knife pointing towards the fork and both lying parallel on the plate at the 6o'clock position (if you follow the Australian manner) or at 10 to 4 (if you want to be mistaken for being English). No elbows on the table while eating. And sit up straight. Sure, this has got nothing to do with recession-busting, but the great thing about the poor is that they usually have far better manners than the rich. And right now you'll need to have some reason to look down on all those insolvency lawyers and administrators who are coining it, even if you aren't.

Give everything that you serve fancy French names. Then use the computer to print out a menu card for dinner. So now it's "une grande assiette composee des oeufs brouilles, des haricots blancs cuisines dans une sauce tomate, deux saucissons de campagne, du lard, des champignons sautes au beurre aille et persille et quelques tranches poelees de tomate tous accompagnes de la sauce brune et on est servi du pain grille". That's so much more high rent than "a big breakfast with HP sauce and toast".

Alternatively, milk the provenance of the ingredients with fulsome descriptions of "Australian orange juice handcrafted only from the finest Brazilian concentrate, cruelty-free coffee from the southern end of aisle three at Coles, cakes of organic Australian wheat oven-roasted in the shadow of Watagan Mountain, and hen-laid eggs sourced from the western side of battery Shed4".

At dinner, serve miniature versions of every dish - ideally on square or misshapen plates that are far too large for the amount of food. Repeat several times.

Remember to constantly offer the wine list, reminding the younger members ofyour family that their wine glasses areempty to justify your relentless up-selling.

Buy an expensive decanter. That way you can serve your guests good but cheap red wine, like a $6 bottle of Sacred Hill cab merlot or a $15 bottle of Seppelt Heathcote shiraz, and fool them into thinking they are drinking something far, far better; especially if you leave around the kitchen the empty bottle of that expensive shiraz you drank by yourself watching the footy last week. Your nosier friends and family will assume that's what is in the decanter. Just remember, if asked what is in the decanter, to reply "just a nice drop from our local vintner". Never ever use the word "bottle-o", which will have wine snobs looking down their nose at you.

Oh, and do make sure everyone wears black ties purchased from the local op shop. It's so much cheaper than keeping up with the shifting sand of designer wear.

No Reservation is Matt Preston's weekly column in The Age.


http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/lifematters/cheap-thrills-a-la-carte-20090514-b4of.html

 

[Cigarband]

I started lurking in the Fedora Lounge in 2005, and came to realize that I had been completely seduced by the expensive disposable "Modern" lifestyle. Plastic cups, plastic cutlery, paper napkins, paper plates, and take-out food. My wardrobe consisted of multiple pairs of jeans, and polo shirts. All my shoes were big names, but made by underpaid workers in tropical countries. I shaved with a plastic razor and plastic shaving gel. I wore a plastic digital watch. I had enough baseball caps to never wear the same one twice in two months. I was drinking 10 cups of coffee a day, and sleeping badly. Smoking 2 packs a day and hating it. I wasn't a drinker, but wished I was. I decided that things had to change. I wasn't a kid anymore, I was an adult, and should live like one. Since then I have changed to grown-up mode. I begin my days with a vintage double edge razor removing the fine English shaving soap from my face. Followed by a homemade breakfast with a real porcelin cup, filled with oolong tea steeped in a proper teapot. I wear a button down plaid workshirt, gray pants, Redwing work boots, and a vintage Newsboy cap to work (I am an electrician).
When I see that it is lunch time by my vintage Ingersoll pocket watch, I open my old-school domed lunch box, and eat the meal I made. When I get home, I put on my vintage silk robe, (a present from my sister) and relax with a cocktail. Last night I made a Singapore Sling ( I was once a bartender). I then make Dinner, which I eat on
a white tablecloth, on vintage china with real sterling cutlery and linen napkin, accompanied by the appropriate wine in a crystal glass. After washing up, I put on some 50s Jazz, light my one cigar of the day, and visit the Fedora Lounge. I have tried as much as possible
to "Formalize" and "vintigify" my life. I am leaner, happier, and much better rested. And the ball caps made a lovely fire.

Treat yourself better. Savor ever moment. And wherever you are, be there.

 

[Warbaby]

Cigarband: :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[Lily Powers]

I once read a quote by NY socialite Nan Kempner (1930-2005) that I liked:
"Spend the money. Dress for lunch. Never forget your gloves. Make the effort." Inspired by those sentiments, my "formal" ritual is to set the table and not think twice about using the "good" plates, the fancy stemware or the the "special occassion" flatware. (That and the fact that if the table is exquisite, then maybe no one will notice I'm not the best cook in the world.)

Simple ritual: after work, leash up the dog and head out to a cafe on the vintage Schwinn. The bike basket has a newspaper, dog bowl and dog bone. We sit outside and I have a snack and do the crossword puzzles; the dog has his water bowl and a bone. We hang out till it cools off and then ride back home. Boringly simple to many people, but I adore the relaxation and how much fun it is to ride the bike with my dog.

 

[Foofoogal]

I just love some of the postings in this thread.
Just took a trip down to Galveston which means going thru Houston traffic.
Yikes. how I love my shifted down life lately.
I believe it is imperative to find peace and quiet in this fast paced world. Even more lately.
Boringly simple has become exquisite to me more and more.