do you have many friends?

[Bourne ID]

I moved around a lot growing up, made friends fast and easy....then we would move again. I never kept in touch with any of them,ever. I've moved around a lot as an adult, held too many different jobs looking for a career, made friends fast and easy and still never keep in touch when I move away. I suppose I treat most people as if they are a good friend until life separates us.
And of course there's the wife by my side through all of this and we pretty much do everything together.
Just for reference..when I say moved around a lot, I mean like I've moved 38 times in my life. Multiple states on the east coast and a couple of towns on the west coast.

 

[Tango Yankee]

I've made a number of close friends over the years, but not a lot. Unfortunately, most of them live hundreds or even thousands of miles from where I am now but they're the ones that when we're together the years apart seem like nothing, we pick up like it has been only days instead of years since seeing each other.

Where I am now I have only acquaintences at work, no friends. It doesn't help that my wife is as much if not more of an introvert than I am, nor that I live in a rural area where I simply do not fit in. I am not happy with this, but like other men who have posted here I do not fall into the stereotype male pattern of following sports, playing golf, etcetera, nor do I hunt or ride four-wheelers down the highway or while trespassing on other people's property (both popular around here.)

I'm what I call an "outgoing loner." I do not necessarily do well in groups, but I do enjoy people one-on-one or perhaps one or two more, but that's it.

I do miss my friends, though...

Regards,
Tom

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

At this point in my life...my best friend is myself.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

That's also the official sport of rural south-central Wisconsin, I believe.

ride four-wheelers down the highway or while trespassing on other people's property (both popular around here.)

 

[Pompidou]

There's a pretty clean dividing line in my life between the 6 people I call and see all the time - at least once a week - and the people I see only by happenstance and/or on Facebook. I don't want to make that the dividing line between friends and acquaintances, but it's fairly close to it. There are only a few exceptions.

 

[Lillemor]

No. I don't have any right now unless you include my husband. It's partially circumstances/chance and partially a choice. I'm not a player, I don't like mind games, I'm a talker but I haven't met anyone in a long time I can talk at length with about things that interest me and have a respectful exchange of thoughts and interests without it turning in to an attempt of someone else to try to change me. I can be pretty open when people don't try to make me justify all my "weirdness/nerdiness" but I guess that's human nature. With my current life situation it would be pretty difficult to be anyone's friend.

I'm curious about other people and I do genuinely care so there are lots of by-chance-chats with people I recognize by face because I see them often enough and not because I'm good at face recognition. I'm also really lousy with names so I don't ask unless I find it relevant to our interaction which it isn't in a chatty context.

 

[_RAGNAR_]

Yes I have a decent amount of friends, many very good friends. I've been told I'm lucky. I also have a very large pool of good acquaintances. Over the years I hermit'ed up a few times or considered myself too busy in life; and lost the chance to be good friends with some really quality people, quite a few of which are dead now, so that friendship will never be experienced.

What I've learned is not to waste opportunities. Now sometimes I'll even tell someone I've only recently met “we are going to be friends” and then act upon it to make it so.

Being deployed a lot over the last few years, coupled with losing quite a few friend to death has taught me I want more and better friends and I want a much wider social circle. I want to stretch my comfort zone for who I associate with and experience more.

Anyone can have more friends and better friends, first make yourself likable, second put yourself out there. It's purely attitude.


Friends help you move
Good friends help you move bodies
Best friends bring shovels

 

[Bourne ID]

No. I don't have any right now unless you include my husband. It's partially circumstances/chance and partially a choice. I'm not a player, I don't like mind games, I'm a talker but I haven't met anyone in a long time I can talk at length with about things that interest me and have a respectful exchange of thoughts and interests without it turning in to an attempt of someone else to try to change me. I can be pretty open when people don't try to make me justify all my "weirdness/nerdiness" but I guess that's human nature. With my current life situation it would be pretty difficult to be anyone's friend.

I'm curious about other people and I do genuinely care so there are lots of by-chance-chats with people I recognize by face because I see them often enough and not because I'm good at face recognition. I'm also really lousy with names so I don't ask unless I find it relevant to our interaction which it isn't in a chatty context.

I like that part about the "weirdness/nerdiness" , sounds eeirly familiar!! I too am curious about other people but rarely find them interesting for long, most people have no hobbies or interests beyond television and movies, jobs they know nothing about and opinions based on feelings and a complete lack of knowledge. It's really depressing sometimes. I'm fascinated by so many things, my home if filled with thousands of books and resources, I've never been bored with life!

 

[_RAGNAR_]

Step one: find people who don't watch television, follow sports, or know the names of entertainers. At least that works for me.

 

[martinsantos]

:eusa_clap


I do the same, and really works!

The fact that I never liked sports and never had patience with Tv helps a lot. I think that I do not have much to talk about with the biggest parcel of people... And do not have patience to explain "why" I like what I like. So I got a lot of quick answers to the more common askings...

Step one: find people who don't watch television, follow sports, or know the names of entertainers. At least that works for me.

 

[Bourne ID]

I think that most of the people I'm acquainted with would call me "friend" and I them. I guess maybe I'm defining friendship too strongly, I mean, when I think of friends I think "getting together and hanging out" and I don't do that with anyone. I have family, customers, employees, business associates but no one that I socialize with. No hunting or fishing buddies, no sports pals, no club memberships. Oh..I've joined a few of those and tried some of things and soon felt that I really didn't have much in common or just felt out of place. Not that I need it or feel that I'm missing anything, just stating the facts. I'm either at work..or home with the family, keeps me plenty busy and plenty happy!

 

[Lillemor]

I like that part about the "weirdness/nerdiness" , sounds eeirly familiar!! I too am curious about other people but rarely find them interesting for long, most people have no hobbies or interests beyond television and movies, jobs they know nothing about and opinions based on feelings and a complete lack of knowledge. It's really depressing sometimes. I'm fascinated by so many things, my home if filled with thousands of books and resources, I've never been bored with life!

Hub has the same approach to our common interests and debates as you have so we strike a good balance and unless it regards his HAM hobby or my vintage costume jewelry/apparel there isn't much we feel we need to talk to others about.

Ragnar - Sound advice!

martinsantos - This lack of common popular interests makes me seem dull to others at best. So talk always falls on my boys: "Don't you get bored as a homemaker?" and "Are you on state benefits?". Actually I'm not on benefits, I'm a traditional homemaker with no income of my own, it's my choice, and it's no one else's business!

It would be easier to talk to others if I could say "I'm into x sport" or "I'm a soccer mom who likes to bake". I'm not a soccer mom, I don't care for ball sports and I hate baking but I love to cook - OT..

Many of my interests aren't ones you can collect, go to the library or some other data base and gain knowledge about, they are thought and feeling based and not something you just bring up in light conversation.

 

[rue]

martinsantos - This lack of common popular interests makes me seem dull to others at best. So talk always falls on my boys: "Don't you get bored as a homemaker?" and "Are you on state benefits?". Actually I'm not on benefits, I'm a traditional homemaker with no income of my own, it's my choice, and it's no one else's business!

It would be easier to talk to others if I could say "I'm into x sport" or "I'm a soccer mom who likes to bake". I'm not a soccer mom, I don't care for ball sports and I hate baking but I love to cook - OT..

Many of my interests aren't ones you can collect, go to the library or some other data base and gain knowledge about, they are thought and feeling based and not something you just bring up in light conversation.

:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

 

[martinsantos]

I know very well about this!

If I like to read, and people from my age are all inside sports, of course I will look as the "boring guy". Just at college I was fortunate enough to find some with similar interests.

Anyway, sometimes I just become a little more acid with some folks. When ask me about "my sport", I like to answer "chess", or "yoga". Or when ask me about "my soccer team", I answer "Linense" - a looser team, that almost nobody knows, from a small town...

martinsantos - This lack of common popular interests makes me seem dull to others at best. So talk always falls on my boys: "Don't you get bored as a homemaker?" and "Are you on state benefits?". Actually I'm not on benefits, I'm a traditional homemaker with no income of my own, it's my choice, and it's no one else's business!

It would be easier to talk to others if I could say "I'm into x sport" or "I'm a soccer mom who likes to bake". I'm not a soccer mom, I don't care for ball sports and I hate baking but I love to cook - OT..

Many of my interests aren't ones you can collect, go to the library or some other data base and gain knowledge about, they are thought and feeling based and not something you just bring up in light conversation.

 

[Lillemor]

Thanks rue.

Even if I can find people old enough to remember the golden era in Denmark they often don't know the people, things or arts I'm interested in and that's one of the great things about FL. I can come on here and at least one person will know Patti Page, The Lawrence Welk Show, and be able to put "drop and cover!" in to context. I've also had so many "aha!" moments when someone on here has written about a band leader, orchestra, golden era litterature or TV show and I've thought, oh yeah.....I've completely forgotten but now I'm curious again.

"God aften Danmark" - said in that slow, refined way that only Otto Leisner could say it.

 

[Lillemor]

I think that most of the people I'm acquainted with would call me "friend" and I them. I guess maybe I'm defining friendship too strongly, I mean, when I think of friends I think "getting together and hanging out" and I don't do that with anyone. I have family, customers, employees, business associates but no one that I socialize with. No hunting or fishing buddies, no sports pals, no club memberships. Oh..I've joined a few of those and tried some of things and soon felt that I really didn't have much in common or just felt out of place. Not that I need it or feel that I'm missing anything, just stating the facts. I'm either at work..or home with the family, keeps me plenty busy and plenty happy!

That's sort of hub's situation and that's all he needs. Not everyone needs close intimate friendships and that's alright. Hub joined a HAM club a couple of years ago though and I'm really happy that he has a place to go to and talk about stuff that really interests him. It also means I can do my nails or experiment with my hair after I put the boys to bed without getting funny looks or hearing complaints about toxic smells I've always had a strong need for more time on my own than most people.

 

[Bourne ID]

The wife and I found a little farm house on 20 acres about 12 years ago and decided that it was the place to raise our children. The kids were 3,4 and 5 then. We spent two months cleaning, fixing, roofing, windows, wiring, plumbing, heating, painting...etc..etc.! My wife wanted to be with the kids and I wanted to provide them with everything they could possibly need and we have done that. We've filled out home with books , crafts, art, pets and we've fostered thier interests to the best of our ability. My wife is highly skilled in needlework, crochet, knitting quitling, sewing, quilling,scherenschnitte, cooking, baking and tons of other amazing old world skills that are all but lost and forgotten. I own a custom cabinetry business in a nearby town and it has provided for us a comfortable living. We garden, have a few chickens, hike on our property, we've built tree houses and tree swings and splash about in the creek as often a we can.
Truly a Norman Rockwell life!!!!

 

[Black Dahlia]

I have a few good friends, though I never get to see them (they all live elsewhere). I have lots of acquaintances though...but I don't really see them much either! *LOL*
X
BD

 

[dwebber18]

Well I'm 26, only child, have moved about a good bit, and am married with no kids. My wife is probably my number 1 best friend followed by my college room mate and groomsman in my wedding. We don't see each other more than a couple times a year, but I know if we needed each other we'd be there. I never was one to settle too long in one place and I've never needed others to make me feel fulfilled or complete so I think that's why I don't have many good friends. I'm used to being on my own and doing my own thing, and I neither want nor need to do them with other people. Not to sound mean or destitute, but I don't even really like other people and that stems from me not liking to be inconvenienced. I love hanging out with my wife all the time doing anything, and I love hanging out with my dog and taking her with me wherever I can. So I have many casual friends from work, church or my baseball team but only 1 real friend outside of my wife and my pup. That's probably why I don't have any investment advisory clients, because I don't like to pretend to be friends with someone of blow smoke to get their money. Good thing I don't have to have clients to make a paycheck, haha.

 

[DBLIII]

I thought I had a fair number of friends and many acquaintances, but over the past six months or so, I learned I had the opposite! I moved over 1,000 miles from my past home in August of 2010. My friends all were talking about keeping in touch, coming to visit, etc. With modern technology, that's easy enough. Not really, as several months later I really hear nothing.

Meanwhile, word got back to my "acquaintance" group - basically people I knew, but really never spoke with much (which means I must have been too dumb to give them much of my time). Two of those people I hear from almost daily and three others actually moved here after asking about this area. One of those three is now living here and is my girlfriend. Worked together for 10 years and never noticed she thought so much of me. So, now I try to talk to everyone I've met here and try to listen to them and be a friend. Never know who is right around you, supportive and caring, yet you just don't see them.