Do any of you guys follow any type of hat etiquette?

[barrowjh]

I almost always pull off my hat to eat. If there is absolutely nowhere to put it, and my better half is with me, it will likely sit atop her purse, wherever it sits. If she is not around, and again, there is no place to put it, then it might stay atop my head. However, I have often used the wall decor at whatever establishment to hang my hat, which may be offensive to some. (I insulate myself from their condescending stares with an additional scotch, for sure.) On some extremely rare occasions it has ended up upside down between my knees under the table, brim resting on my knees/thighs. That is very rare, as I tend to forget and it ends up on the floor.

I tend to follow the overcoat 'rule' - if you would pull off your overcoat, then you probably need to pull off your hat also. This works fairly well most of the time, as the place where you would park an overcoat almost always ends up being some relatively private space as opposed to 'public' breezeways, hallways, etc.

 

[facade]

IMHO it is rather unfair to decry the current generation (or any living generation at this point) for their perceived lack of social graces. Etiquette/manners/love thy neighbor are not natural to man and so man must be taught to value them. The only way for a social grace to exist and thrive is 1) for a sufficient segment of the population to willingly follow and value the rule and 2) some form of punishment/enforcement exists for those who do not follow the rule. In the past the punishment for violating social graces was many and varied (shunning, hazing, denial of services, good ole fashion whooping, etc.) Use of any of these methods today is fraught with civil and criminal peril. Other than employers and a few other limited examples, the general populace (and even local governments) have no real ability to enforce social graces. To try to do so would open one up to discrimination law suits and demonization by the media. So even if the latest generation desperately wanted the social graces of the "golden era" they could not have them.

Rather than blaming the younger generation, past generations are to blame. They allowed the country to become a top down Federal multi-cultural empire where the Feds have their tentacles in every facet of our lives both important and mundane. They allowed the Federal government to sweep away the old republic where power resided locally. Whether one loves the empire or not, one must accept that with the good comes much bad. The bad in this case is the loss of civility, such as hat etiquette. One can not legislate good manners.

 

[Big Man]

I was taught as a child to take my hat off indoors. I'm 58 years old now and I still remember the good lessons in respect, civility, and general good manners that I learned all those years ago (and was taught by example).

I tried to teach my children, and now my grandchildren, the same good manners. For the most part, I think I was successful. I have, on occasion, walked in a room where one of my sons was at a table eating and had on his hat. However, as soon as we made eye contact he jerked the hat off his head.

 

[HudsonHawk]

I concur. Also, historically speaking, bars, pubs, saloons, or whatever one chooses to call them, were a sort of "males only" club where the common rules of etiquette and manners were far more relaxed or simply dispensed with.

I think they were simply more relaxed. Kind of like the origins of the tuxedo...gentlemen's club and other stag affairs was a more relaxed male-only atmosphere, where one did not need to dress formally.

 

[winter_joe]

Hmm I don't know what to make of this thread.... I thought this place was for civility, but it is the internet and trolling is everywhere on it so I suppose it was only a matter of time..

 

[Brian Niebuhr]

I don't remove my hat while eating unless I'm at home. If it's a nicer place (not too many here) and there is a place to put it I'll take it off but I usually don't eat out and when I do it's a chain place so that ain't gonna happen! I do like to take it off when I'm able to take it off if I know ahead of time that I'm going to a nice place. Sorry but I'm not setting my hat on some butt rest. Also, half the time my hair is nasty in the first place. I wore it to cover my nasty head. Why don't you take off your pants? A hat is a piece of clothing that is sometimes worn for a reason. Why don't I just go ahead and show my wild pubic hair?? When I have to mow the lawn after work and then grocery shop and then get a bite to eat on the way home... My hat is covering some gross hair! I'd rather show off the hat.

 

[Alsek]

I remove my hat whilst in church, while the national anthem plays, and whilst in someone else's home. I do not take it off "indoors," at all times because, "indoors," includes places like supermarkets or the interiors of gas stations.

Restaurants are somewhat dependent on the place. I would not, for example, remove my hat whilst entering taco bell or Starbucks. I would however remove it for any nice sit-down type restaurant.

 

[Zombie_61]

I was taught as a child to take my hat off indoors. I'm 58 years old now and I still remember the good lessons in respect, civility, and general good manners that I learned all those years ago (and was taught by example)...

I think this is an important issue in this discussion--how each of us has learned what we know about hat etiquette.

Hat etiquette is relatively new territory for me because I've only started wearing hats during the last five (or so) years of my life. I wore them infrequently when I was a child and young adult, and none of the adult male members of my family wore hats (including my dad, who was born in 1913) so it was never an issue that needed to be addressed in depth. The only rule I was aware of was "never wear your hat at the dinner table", and I have some very close friends who don't understand my insistence on removing my hat or cap while dining (one of whom has been wearing hats since he started losing his hair 30 years ago, and once became visibly upset when I shamed him into removing his cap while we ate in a restaurant).

Since I've become more of a "hat wearer" I feel I should learn as much as I can about proper hat etiquette, so I find threads like this interesting and informative.

 

[Brian Niebuhr]

If I didn't have to shop at Walmart and then eat at Arby's, I'd take off my hat. That said, I love both places and would rather keep my hat on. If there were better places to eat and shop at that offer an exceptable rate, I'd be happy to remove my hat. I've never seen a grocery store without someone wearing a moo moo. Or PJ's.

 

[Joan Holloway]

What about ladies' hats?
When I wear them (in very special occassions, though!) I just take it off when I find a place to save it.

 

[barrowjh]

The rules were different for ladies; you need not remove your hat anywhere. Joe Cocker sings a song about that.

 

[Big Man]

I remove my hat whilst in church, while the national anthem plays, and whilst in someone else's home. I do not take it off "indoors," at all times because, "indoors," includes places like supermarkets or the interiors of gas stations.

Restaurants are somewhat dependent on the place. I would not, for example, remove my hat whilst entering taco bell or Starbucks. I would however remove it for any nice sit-down type restaurant.

When I said "indoors" in my earlier post, I meant it in the sense of "private" places (i.e. someone's home, an office, an elevator, etc.). Alesk, I believe you have captured the idea of "hat etiquette" just about right in your post.

 

[Mystic]

Hey Mystic! The Kevlar comes towards the end of August! Counting down the days! How have you been?

Hey, Justin...Thanks for asking. I'm still getting used to living with some new limitations.
Leave a comment on the lounge when you switch hats. Got any orders or indication of where you'll be doing Basic Training or whatever the new name for it might be?

If I don't catch you before then....Good Luck, Soldier!!

 

[Florida_Marlin]

I have a picture on my wall, it's one of my favorites. It was taken by my daughter a few Thanksgivings ago, in Keaton Beach Florida. It's a picture of my lovely wife and I, sitting on some rocks at waterside. She is holding my face between her hands, giving me a big ole kiss. The Knox 20 is resting on my knee. I reckon taking my hat off for a kiss from a lovely lady is some proper hat etiquette. If not, it surely facilitated the process! It was one of those " Non-traditional" Thanksgivings... Whatever that is.

Whet society considers a norm is usually accompanied by cues, clues or downright laws.. Back when it was the norm to not wear your hat into a restaurant, there was a means to accommodate such a "rule". If you look at current cues from restaurants , ie, no hat or outerwear storage, the obvious statement is this: Folks shouldn't go around wearing hats at all, of if the do, while in my restaurant, store it on your head.

When I am wearing a hat out on the town, I absolutely refuse to put either my vintage hats or my $100+ modern manufactured hats on the floor. If there is no safe place to put my hat, I will wear it on my head, just keeping with the expectation set by the society in which I live. BTW, I kinda like the society in which I live. I thoroughly enjoy the past, such as classic fedoras and other things. However, I am firmly planted in the present, which has its great advantages. For Example, I'd much rather my aforementioned wife and daughter be treated as equals in society instead of demanding that they be offended because some stranger wearing a hat didn't take the doggone thing off in an elevator.

There is no universal, fixed for all time etiquette. Personally, I like the new ones...including the new " norm" that says if I want to be an "oddball" and wear a fedora around while most everyone else doesn't, then by all means do so.

 

[HudsonHawk]

Whet society considers a norm is usually accompanied by cues, clues or downright laws.. Back when it was the norm to not wear your hat into a restaurant, there was a means to accommodate such a "rule". If you look at current cues from restaurants , ie, no hat or outerwear storage, the obvious statement is this: Folks shouldn't go around wearing hats at all, of if the do, while in my restaurant, store it on your head.

When I am wearing a hat out on the town, I absolutely refuse to put either my vintage hats or my $100+ modern manufactured hats on the floor. If there is no safe place to put my hat, I will wear it on my head, just keeping with the expectation set by the society in which I live.

This is the kind of thinking that I think is problematic and symptomatic of the decline in manners and etiquette. I'm not suggesting that anyone be forced to place their hat on a dirty floor, but the underlying feeling is that manners are ok to practice as long as others make it convenient to do so. This kind of reasoning defeats the idea of manners in the first place and is the primary reason why people have become conditioned to accept the lack thereof.

 

[Florida_Marlin]

Not a decline in manners and etiquette. Manners and etiquette have changed, just like they continuously have, throughout time. Luckily, humans are highly adaptable, and can adjust, or even thrive, in the manners and etiquette of their contemporary society. Manners and etiquette are decided by contemporary society, not by the past, which is a record of where society has been. The past is important, but it is subordinate to the present, which is where we exist. I like the present. There are alot of people in our society, much better off because of our current "manners and etiquette". I'm one of 'em.

 

[falis]

^^A sterling example of what you don't do on the internet. You'll get snubbed.

Its a thread on the internet. The last thing you do is start talking like its an intro to philosophy course.

When I started using it, it was milnet - maybe 30 years ago. It was limited to the US military, their contractors and some research universities. Philosophical discussions were welcome. There was etiquette like not trolling, not top-posting, sticking to business etc. Things change!

On topic, I generally follow old etiquette providing it feels right. These days tipping your hat at a lady or taking it off in an elevator can easily be perceived as being a little too familiar. I have a basic respect for other people as my starting point for dealing with them. I let my judgment rule as to what I do with my hat and everything else.

- Ed

 

[hatophile]

When talking about convenience, yeah, it's inconvenient (and impractical) if I put a real nice vintage or custom hat on the floor someplace just to follow declining etiquette that most may not be aware of anyway. Having said that, if there's someplace safe to put it besides my head, that's where it will go. Since men's hat wearing has declined significantly in the last 50-60 years or so, most public places do not supply readily hat stands or hooks for hats like they did in the old days. While many of us may aspire to the traditional hat etiquette, modern society does not necessarily make it easy to do so. That doesn't mean I'll scrap it, but I will make concessions if need be, so I agree with what Marlin is saying.

 

[Joan Holloway]

The rules were different for ladies; you need not remove your hat anywhere. Joe Cocker sings a song about that.

Oh, lucky us

 

[mikepara]

I learned my hat etiquette in the Army. It was knocked into me. It made perfect sense.


Quite a few of us on here have already taken the Military route and thankfully mostly came through it intact. Good luck young man and have a great time despite any hardships that will come your way, and there will be many, not least your basic training! Make the most of it because when you are an old veteran like me, you'll most likely look back on your Service fondly and reminisce about the great friends you made and the great places you went and even the great battles you fought. I'd do it all again. I'm British but here's a Hoorah! Airborne! Mike

You are correct, David! Not many here wish to take the military route, but I am happy to do whatever this great nation asks of me.

Hey Mystic! The Kevlar comes towards the end of August! Counting down the days! How have you been?