Comments You Get When You Dress Vintage

[Roving_Bohemian]

I had a very interesting experience today involving someone else's take on my vintage look. I wonder if any of you ladies have ever run into this:

It was damp and foggy this morning, so as usual, I wore my scarf to cover my hair, Audrey Hepburn style, while waiting for my train. A young woman wearing a hijab was looking at me strangely for a bit. Finally, she approached me and said "Excuse me - Are you Muslim?"

I had never been asked that before in my life, so I was quite taken aback (it hadn't clicked yet) and I told her no, I wasn't. She replied "Then why are you wearing the headscarf?" Finally I understood, and since my scarf didn't look at all similar to a hijab I had to laugh, and told her I was only wearing it to protect my hairstyle. She cut me off by saying "I don't think its funny. I think its disrespectful." And walked away! :eeek:

Took me a long time to wrap my mind around that one... Like I say, they don't look *at all* similar, and I have never, ever had someone say this to me before, even in college when most of the student body was Muslim.

She probably thought that only Muslims wear head-scarves, and that you were wearing it "wrong" and your laughter was mockery... not saying you're at fault, just that she probably assumed you were intentionally doing it to mock her beliefs... I guess that's what comes of this media battle, both sides misunderstand each other and feel that the other is in the wrong... oh well, as miz LizzieMaine said, "The days when women would commonly go out for the day wearing a Rosie rag or a babushka are as remote as the Civil War to young people today." That's why you need to reclaim it!

Rue, I don't think ANYONE would mistake you for one of them... if so, it's a lot more than their eyes they need checked...

I think it's just their way of saying hey you look very old school and polished and I like it.
And hey, being compared to the women on madmen really isn't bad company to be in.

EXACTLY! I empathize with you for the lack of vintage knowledge among co-workers, but being compared to a "Mad-Men" lady is DEFINITELY a compliment coming from a guy...

It reminds us of a time when everyone had more panaché and makes us men think maybe we can be a "Don Draper"...

 

[Retro_GI_Jane]

I had never been asked that before in my life, so I was quite taken aback (it hadn't clicked yet) and I told her no, I wasn't. She replied "Then why are you wearing the headscarf?" Finally I understood, and since my scarf didn't look at all similar to a hijab I had to laugh, and told her I was only wearing it to protect my hairstyle. She cut me off by saying "I don't think its funny. I think its disrespectful." And walked away! :eeek:

I can understand her feelings. I spent a year in Kuwait for OIF...the women there that are very religious or very traditional when it comes to the "old ways" do not like women running around like that if they are not Muslim. I bought myself a beautiful burqua from a bazaar while I was there and all the head coverings to go with it...while some of the locals felt that it was way cool that I was showing interest in their traditional garments and probably saw it as a sign of respect, I did don it for some pictures with a friend and got some not so happy looks from others.

 

[LizzieMaine]

There's definitely a difference between wearing a garment that might be interpreted as having religious significance while surrounded by a culture where that garment does have such significance and wearing it in an area where such significance is not a part of the common culture. In a situation like the one C-Dot ran into, maybe a good way to defuse the situation might be to explain that "in my culture, it's a common thing for women to cover their hair in inclement weather -- it has no religious significance for us, it's merely a matter of practicality." After all, cultural sensitivity goes both ways.

 

[Retro_GI_Jane]

After all, cultural sensitivity goes both ways.

Indeed, but only if the other party is willing to accept it.

And to veer slightly back on topic, there are a few older ladies where I work that really like it when I wear dry or slicked pin curls ala 1920-1930s, they are usually the ones that "get it." However, there are two that like to say "fun" regarding my hair as in "You are always doing (pause) *fun* things with your hair." Well yeah, it's fun but when they add that pause in there, it's like they are looking for the right word and come up short on words.

My sister did irritate me one day when I was rocking some bumper bangs...she said I looked like Olive Oyl. She didn't even have bangs! *rollseyes*

 

[sheeplady]

I had a very interesting experience today involving someone else's take on my vintage look. I wonder if any of you ladies have ever run into this:

It was damp and foggy this morning, so as usual, I wore my scarf to cover my hair, Audrey Hepburn style, while waiting for my train. A young woman wearing a hijab was looking at me strangely for a bit. Finally, she approached me and said "Excuse me - Are you Muslim?"

I had never been asked that before in my life, so I was quite taken aback (it hadn't clicked yet) and I told her no, I wasn't. She replied "Then why are you wearing the headscarf?" Finally I understood, and since my scarf didn't look at all similar to a hijab I had to laugh, and told her I was only wearing it to protect my hairstyle. She cut me off by saying "I don't think its funny. I think its disrespectful." And walked away! :eeek:

Took me a long time to wrap my mind around that one... Like I say, they don't look *at all* similar, and I have never, ever had someone say this to me before, even in college when most of the student body was Muslim.

Yeah, it sounds like a misunderstanding. She should not have said what she said to you, as it could have been offensive to your faith and even if not, it was still rude to comment on another's dress like that. There are many, many cultures who wear head coverings- some for religious reasons and some for cultural reasons (or in cultures where the lines between the two are blurred). Where I grew up and even here- all the older and even some younger Polish ladies always wore babushkas.

Around here, there also are large Mennonite and Amish populations, so I have never been asked or had that assumption made. And by large, I mean many different churches with people who dress in everything from the Black Bumper variety to the Mennonites that blend in with everyone else.

I did once have a comment made about a religious item I was wearing, and it was basically a back-handed comment about stealing religious symbols. Needless to say, they were wrong.

 

[C-dot]

In a situation like the one C-Dot ran into, maybe a good way to defuse the situation might be to explain that "in my culture, it's a common thing for women to cover their hair in inclement weather -- it has no religious significance for us, it's merely a matter of practicality." After all, cultural sensitivity goes both ways.

That's a very accurate response - After all, wearing scarves to cover your hairstyle was commonplace in American culture (I'm saying American because of my geographical location) until about the 1980's, I would guess. Most Americans or people familiar with American culture know wearing a scarf that way has no religious significance, even if they aren't well versed in Golden Era dress.

However, that response would not fly in Canada, because cultural sensitivity only goes one way here. Clearly, it happens on both sides, even if it isn't PC to say so. The young woman in my last post is just as ignorant about my culture as she accused me of being about hers - If she ever happens to see a picture of Grace Kelly wearing her scarf, she's going to feel pretty silly.


ETA: I have no intention of opening a can of worms here. If that happens, I'll take this post down.

 

[Louise Anne]

I had a very interesting experience today involving someone else's take on my vintage look. I wonder if any of you ladies have ever run into this:
It was damp and foggy this morning, so as usual, I wore my scarf to cover my hair, Audrey Hepburn style, while waiting for my train. A young woman wearing a hijab was looking at me strangely for a bit. Finally, she approached me and said "Excuse me - Are you Muslim?"
.

What else were you wearing C-dot?
I not sure your scarf was the whole problem , I no expert at all , I have a feeling that the young lady might have thought if you were a Muslim then you were not wearing the correct dress to be a muslin (I live a door away from a Muslim familly and the ladies aways wear trousers or la very long skirts own to the floor I do not know the right name if they dressed up for a night out)
They do look good I will add.
So this lady might have been going to say to you..... " Been a Muslim you were not wearing the right clothes to be a Muslim"
as you said you were not then that reply just thrown her as what to say next and was just embarresed!.
We all done it had something on our mind and it turn out to be slighlty wrong, I say it just one of those life experince which goes on sometimes.

 

[C-dot]

What else were you wearing C-dot?

What was visible was my trenchcoat, black stockings, and high heeled shoes. You're on the right track - Muslim women are supposed to dress modestly, so as not to show legs, skin, or body shape. It is, or at least should have been, abundantly apparent that I am *not* Muslim (or for that matter, any other religious persuasion).

I doubt that she thought I was Muslim, she just thought I was ignorant and felt the need to point it out. I have seen Muslim women wearing hijabs with miniskirts and cleavage bearing tops, so if I was Muslim but wasn't dressed properly, she probably wouldn't have said anything. It's just a misunderstanding, I suppose. Thanks for the kind take on it, you made me feel better.

 

[crwritt]

I admire the print and color combinations that the Muslim ladies around here dress in. We have a laundromat, and there is a daily crowd of these ladies doing thier wash. Fairly often one of them will
discard some clothing, so we end up with a really eclectic Goodwill pile. My grandaughter gets to
enjoy some really sparkly dressup playclothes.
I haven't had any unkind comments, but we all have had a chuckle one rainy day when I came in wearing my long hooded raincoat.

 

[sheeplady]

Perhaps the other thing to think about is that there are many persuasions of Islam, and there are some women who wear the hijab very far back on the head (almost to the point that most of their hair is exposed) and some that don't wear it at all but are still very religious. I believe that many in the faith (but definitely not all) believe that is up to the wearer to make the personal decision on if they should wear that particular article of clothing and how it should be worn. So I don't know how that might fit in, but I have seen women wear hijabs in many many different ways.

Today I was told that I must obviously be a "fashionista." Which I thought was quite nice.

 

[W-D Forties]

Whilst out shopping with my family yesterday we went into a vintage shop where I have occasionally chatted to the lady who owns it. I was certainly more vintage inspired than true vintage (as befitted one who was just about to walk the dog), but my husband as usual was in tweed trousers, fairisle tank top and donegal cap. She said we cerainly were a 'kooky couple, but kinda cool'. She meant it as a compliment, but it made me feel a little like the Addams Family!

 

[bombshell_librarian]

I don't get "Where are you going?" so much as, "Where did you get that?" I often have to explain that I either found it online or it's something I've made myself. I don't sew, but I do knit. Many of the comments I receive are compliments. Men never fail to tell me they love what I'm wearing, and often ask for web sites so they can try to find something similar for the wife/girlfriend/etc.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I get the "are you Pentecostal/Mennonite" all the time -- I think as time goes on, the only association people are going to have with any kind of a headscarf is going to be religious. The days when women would commonly go out for the day wearing a Rosie rag or a babushka are as remote as the Civil War to young people today. That's why we need to reclaim it!

Someone once said to me "I thought you were religious until I saw your tattoos." lol

Also today, there is this very jovial man who is at Dunkin Donuts every morning. He says Hi to me all the time and makes little silly small talk. Well this morning he said "Can I talk to you about something? Do people comment on your look a lot?" I was like "All the time" and he compared my look to cars lol He said he loves old cars and that all cars today look like "jellybeans." lol I guess I was the old car and everyone else was the jellybean!!!

He also got my era right -- late 30s/40s.

 

[Isis]

I went to a burlesque club last weekend whish, this time, had a 1940's theme. A lot of people had, if not 40's clothes, at least made an effort to look a bit vintage, but as there was no enforeced dress code, so there was a small sprinkling of people in very ordinary clothes. One of them, a man in a turtleneck, asked a friend of mine if this "was a masquerade?". When she said no, it's a club with a specific theme to which he replied something very snotty that we all looked very silly. he then went back to his girlfriend and the two of them seemed to have had a little sniggerfest about all the other guests. he clearly felt very superior for being dressed like a normal human being...

 

[Lily Powers]

I went to a burlesque club last weekend whish, this time, had a 1940's theme. A lot of people had, if not 40's clothes, at least made an effort to look a bit vintage, but as there was no enforeced dress code, so there was a small sprinkling of people in very ordinary clothes. One of them, a man in a turtleneck, asked a friend of mine if this "was a masquerade?". When she said no, it's a club with a specific theme to which he replied something very snotty that we all looked very silly. he then went back to his girlfriend and the two of them seemed to have had a little sniggerfest about all the other guests. he clearly felt very superior for being dressed like a normal human being...

Alas, some people aspire to nothing higher than mediocrity.

The club sounds like fun and even more so by the folks who made the effort to dress for the occasion.

 

[Louise Anne]

I went to a burlesque club last weekend whish, this time, had a 1940's theme. A lot of people had, if not 40's clothes, at least made an effort to look a bit vintage, but as there was no enforeced dress code, so there was a small sprinkling of people in very ordinary clothes. One of them, a man in a turtleneck, asked a friend of mine if this "was a masquerade?". When she said no, it's a club with a specific theme to which he replied something very snotty that we all looked very silly. he then went back to his girlfriend and the two of them seemed to have had a little sniggerfest about all the other guests. he clearly felt very superior for being dressed like a normal human being...

What do you do if you find your not dressed right for the occation and feel like your sticking out like a sore thumb, you go and have a sniggerfest like littleschool girls.

 

[Miss Stella]

I don't leave my dressing room if I can't fully own what I am wearing.

 

[Miss sofia]

Well said Missis! But i can also speak from experience, where people have been really catty and it has knocked my confidence for awhile, but I soon bounce back.

I having a bit of a love fest with my neighbour who works in the gallery/cafe next door to my work, she pretty much compliments me every day on something, my hair, a brooch, the whole outfit! It's been really great for me as i haven't been feeling too great about myself lately and she really sets me up for the day. Plus she always sellotapes a chocolate to my morning coffee, what's not to love about the woman!

 

[rue]

Well said Missis! But i can also speak from experience, where people have been really catty and it has knocked my confidence for awhile, but I soon bounce back.

I having a bit of a love fest with my neighbour who works in the gallery/cafe next door to my work, she pretty much compliments me every day on something, my hair, a brooch, the whole outfit! It's been really great for me as i haven't been feeling too great about myself lately and she really sets me up for the day. Plus she always sellotapes a chocolate to my morning coffee, what's not to love about the woman!

I agree! I would love to have that kind of self confidence, but alas... I was born without it lol Just the other day some teenage boy said "nice hair" and giggled with his friends. All the other compliments I had received flew out the window.

What a lovely way to start your day Miss S! You are lovely though

 

[Miss sofia]

Ah, can i have a mutual love fest with you too!? You say the sweetest things. You really are a tonic! xx

I so get you though, it takes one remark, sometimes where you're not sure if people are being snidey or not and everything else,all the good stuff, just melts away Dammit!